Alex
Dear Nobody,
Elias is a psycho. You'd think getting away from a crazy person on crutches would be easy, but not this guy. I've been stuck in the house with him since we got home from the hospital yesterday afternoon. That's almost twenty-four hours without any means of escape. I'm not sure which was worse, the fact that Elias couldn't be trusted alone, or the fact that I got stuck playing babysitter for Tanner and Caleigh.
While they went out to a friend's kickback last night, I was under house arrest with Elias. It was okay at first, mainly because I thought I was going to spend the evening curled up in my bed with my Kindle, some tea, and a whole lot of silence.
None of that happened.
Elias barged into our room right when we got home, threw his crap on the floor, and fell asleep for over twelve hours. This meant over twelve hours of no reading, no tea-timing, and very little sleeping because of his earth-shattering snoring.
It's 3:00 p.m. now and, I'm still here in bed, with dark circles under my eyes hoping he wakes up soon or that Kai will call and rescue me from my roommate related woes.
Maybe if I wish hard enough he'll text me with plans for some awesome out of the house adventure. Granted, that's a lot of wishful thinking, but if he does happen to make plans, I will immediately accept and leave the cripple to fend for himself. It's not like he'll tell on me. If he does, I just have to drop the real story about what happened between him and Mindy and he's done for.
It's nice knowing how easy it would be to get Elias exiled. Best case scenario: he ends up on the first train, bus, or plane back to San Diego. I'd get a room to myself, some much needed space from the Freeze-pop freak, and spend the rest of the summer stress-free. Good news all around.
Here's to hoping!
-Alex
***
"You see this masking tape, Elias?"
"Obviously."
His eyes darted down towards the newly divided floor where I'd spent a good half hour separating our too-small-for-two-people room into a war zone.
"This, my friend, is the Berlin wall, except in our case it will not be torn down under any circumstances, okay?" I asked.
"I don't even know what you're talking about, but I'm tired and I wanna lie down, so you can save your speech for later."
He hobbled past me looking a little worse for wear than he had in the car. Tired or not, working out the kinks of our roommate situation needed to happen ASAP.
Tired or not, working out the kinks of our roommate situation needed to happen ASAP. I had absolutely every intention, especially after his little Freeze-Pop fiasco, of laying down the ground rules before nightfall. The weather report called for a full moon tonight, and given how creeptastic he was normally, I wasn't taking any chances.
"There's no time, let's just get this over with. Rule number one: no line crossing. Think of the tape as a river. If you try to cross it, you'll drown unless you have permission, then you get a free pass," I said.
"Can I skinny dip in your river?"
In my mind, I wasn't blushing, I had the poker face of a champion as far as Elias was concerned. Unfortunately, my cheeks had other plans. A slow heat crept up the sides of my face like poison ivy and then exploded into a full-on blush-fest.
Perfect.
Elias's lips perked up at the corners while I tried—and believe me I tried—not to look as uncomfortable as I felt. It wasn't like I grew up sheltered. I could take the odd dirty joke or two, but Elias made things weird—sweat-through-my-tank-top-weird.
Maybe it was the fact that I was sharing a room with a sexual deviant, or maybe it was the way he looked at me like he could see every insecurity I had about still being a virgin.
Call me old fashioned, but I had plans on waiting for the right guy and the right time, even if that meant waiting until I was forty. Okay, well, maybe not forty, but I was willing to wait a while. Elias looked like the type who would've sold his virginity on eBay if it meant losing it quickly.
"Can I ask you a personal question, Jersey?"
Elias sunk down into his pillow and locked his eyes on mine. I hated being stared at. All it takes is one ex to make you feel less than pretty, and you'll never want anyone's eyes on you again. Fact.
"I'm not a huge fan of personal questions," I said.
"Well, I'm asking you anyway."
"Then I probably won't answer."
"Are you a virgin?"
I knew it. Leave it to Elias to ask the Voldemort of all questions. He was lucky I'd selectively forgotten how he almost expecto-patronum-ed in his pants back in the car.
"You don't need to know that."
"I kinda do, Jersey."
"Why?"
"Do I have to answer that?"
"Yeah, you do, especially if you want me to answer your stupid question. And no, I'm not a virgin."
The second that stupid little lie left my lips, the air between Elias and I went from tense to tumultuous. He glared at me, eyes wild like he'd heard the news of the century.
Maybe he bought it. Maybe the sinister smile dancing across his lips wasn't sinister at all. Maybe he was pleasantly surprised. Maybe pigs had wings.
"Really? You look like one," he said.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"See? Only a virgin would get mad about something like that."
"I'm not mad, Elias."
"Then why does your face look like a tomato?"
I whipped around toward the mirror hoping to see a perfectly poised but inwardly frustrated version of myself staring back at me. He was right. I did look like a tomato. One of those giant genetically engineered ones that verged on being purple. Super gross.
"Look, if you're that embarrassed about your little virginity situation, I can help you with that," he said.
It took about ten minutes for me to process what he'd said and how nuts it sounded. Aside from male strippers and gigolos, who offered to "help" a girl with her virginity problem? It wasn't a problem. I didn't have a problem. He did.
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," I said.
I turned my attention back to unpacking the suitcase worth of clothes I was too lazy to put away last night. Handling my laundry was more exciting than speaking to Elias. At least my clothes didn't have any plans to deflower me.
"I'm serious, Alex—"
"Did you just use my name?"
"It got your attention, didn't it? Girls like you probably have a hard time. I've seen it before. You're the story-book type."
"The what?"
"You're the kind of girl who wants a magical prince who'll wait for you until the world ends. But the thing is, most guys want a girl who's willing."
I knew that better than anybody. Rory didn't wanna wait for anything. He rushed our first kiss. We hadn't even been together a week and he leaned over in the middle of movie night and stuck his tongue down my throat.
He kissed me like I wasn't there, like it didn't matter how I felt about it. Our first time would've been the same way. That's why I said no.
"There are good guys in the world, Elias. Not everyone makes sex their priority."
"Good guys like Kai? He's a real winner."
I darted over to my desk, slammed open the third drawer, and stuck my hand wrist-deep into my emergency stash of Goldfish. I keep Goldfish on tap for moments when I'm about to lose my shit—another awesome tip from the only cool therapist I ever had.
Every time I verged on saying something I probably would regret, she made me stuff my face so I could redirect my anger elsewhere. Elias had me double-fisting Goldfish like a psycho. I may have only known Kai for a grand total of twenty-four hours, but he was light years better than Elias. Fact.
"You hardly even—"
"What was that chubby bunny?"
Midway through swallowing, I grabbed a handful of Goldfish and fired them in Elias's direction. Good to see my years on the softball team counted for something.
"You hardly even know Kai," I said.
"Neither do you, and I can tell you right now that older dudes like him are used to advanced chicks in the bedroom. He may play with you for a little while, but once he figures out your harder to climb than a castle, he'll bail."
The worst part about having to listen to Elias talk was knowing there was a chance that he was right.
I spent all last night buzzed over the fact that I'd actually met someone who felt like a decent person. Not only that, but I was comfortable around him,and it hadn't been easy getting back to being comfortable around guys.
"We'll see what happens, Elias. Thanks for the unsolicited love advice. You look like a real pro being single and all."
He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling like he could see the sky straight through the rafters.
The two-bit smile he had plastered on his face earlier flattened out to the point where his expression was nearly unreadable. This was a different Elias, a heavier one, one that reminded me a little too much of myself after Rory and I broke up.
"I wasn't always single, Alex."
"Obviously, but if you treated your ex-girlfriend the way you did Mindy, it's no surprise that—"
My phone buzzed to life in my back pocket. Kai was calling me? Calling me? What guy in this day an age actually calls instead of texted? A magical prince, that's who.
Okay, maybe calling Kai a prince was going too far, but seeing his name pop up on my screen felt pretty darn magical.
"Hey, Alex. It's Kai, this is Alex, right?"
"Yeah, hey, what's up?"
"Just got off work, actually. I don't know if you're up for it, but there's a comedy show tonight in Hollywood if you wanna go. I could pick you up if you want."
Pick me up? Like the two of us in his car? Pre-Rory me: stoked. Post Rory me: terrified.
"Sure, can I bring a friend?" I asked.
"No problem, that'll be cool, I guess."
"What time?"
"If we wanna beat traffic, 7:00's probably good. I'll see you then. Text me your address."
"Okay, later."
I stared at the phone for a good couple minutes just trying to take in the fact that I'd quite possibly been asked out on a date. So much for him being my "friendly neighborhood tour guide". It wasn't that I didn't trust Kai, but Elias made me paranoid on top of my pre-existing paranoia. My solution? Dragging him along.
"Get dressed, Elias. We're going to a comedy show."
"I'm not going anywhere with you."
Somewhere in between me picking up the phone and turning my back, he'd gotten up, crutches and all and positioned himself inches away from me.
I backed into the dresser just to put some distance between us. He didn't give me an inch. For every step I took away from him, he'd move closer until I had nowhere left to escape to.
"I want you to understand something, Alex. You can think what you want about me, I don't really care about any of that, but I don't want you mentioning my ex ever again. You don't know me, and you don't know her. So don't say things you're not ready to own up to."
No one had ever looked at me the way he looked at me right then—with so much pain and intensity I could barely stomach the sight of it. But as angry as he was, he didn't come off likehe'd hurt me. Rory taught me how to tell the difference. Elias and I werebigger threats to ourselves than we were to each other.
Even so, I didn't breathe or move, just let him stare down at me while I gazed back into a part of him I recognized in myself—unspoken regret.
After the tension faded out of our silence, I unclasped my hands a finger at a time, reached out, and placed my palm in the center of his chest.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Saying I'm sorry. When I was a kid, my mom used to tell me that the only way to know if someone truly believes you're sorry is to put your hand on their heart because the heart can't lie. I guess that's really weird, I'm sorry I did that."
Elias managed to crack a smile—which wasn't the worst thing in the world to see up close.
"Apology accepted. You sure you just didn't wanna touch me?"
I retracted my hand back as quickly as humanly possible before his ego sucked all the air out of the room.
"Yes, I'm sure," I said.
"Whatever you say, virgin."
"I'm not a virgin."
He leaned in again and left literally a half an inch between our bodies for breathing room. A cold sweat broke out on the insides of my hands, down my back, and had me feeling clammier than a three-day-old fish.
I'd never imagined the end of my life involving me being backed against an Ikea dresser by a boy on crutches, but this was it. If he came any closer with those lips, and perpetually messy hair, and those pretty eyes straight out of the 9th circle of hell it was curtains for me. I'd be the first girl in recorded history to spontaneously combust, and Elias would be left to pick up the pieces.
"You're also not much of a liar," he said.
"Let's say, hypothetically of course, that I was a virgin, I'd have a strict relationship rule. No boyfriend, no commitment, no sex."
"Fair enough, just don't get your hopes up with that Kai kid. You know where I am when things don't work out."
Who said I wanted things to work out with anyone? Just because Kai wanted to "hang out" didn't mean things were going anywhere. Besides, I didn't want a relationship, and even if I did, Elias wouldn't be an option. He was a walking STD, and STDs weren't boyfriend material.
"Thanks for the thought, but I'll pass," I said.
"You'll change your mind by the end of the summer. I bet you'll be asking me to take care of that virginity problem within the first couple weeks. No girl I've ever been around has lasted longer than thirty-days."
He probably drugged them.
"Wanna bet?"
I've never backed out of a challenge. Ever. In fifth grade, I drank a mason jar full of pond water cause Tyler Barry, the class daredevil, bet I couldn't do it. I got so sick after finishing it I missed a week of school.
But did I win? Hell yeah, I did. Elias wasn't any more complicated than a Mason jar full of pond water—tall, dirty, and packed with bacteria. He couldn't beat me if he tried.
"Sure, let's make it a bet, Jersey. Give me a month and I'll have you begging by the end of it," he said.
He blew a tuft of brown hair out of his eyes and curled his lips into that terribly dangerous smile I'd hoped he wouldn't flash twice in an hour period.
"I bet you won't even be able to get away with akiss, but since you're deranged and I'm easily amused, you're on. There are rules to this though. If you want me to play along, no touching unless I say so. No drinking, drugs, or messing with other girls. You've gotta be 100% sober around me from now until the end of the month. No foul play. No dirty tricks--"
"I'm not making any promises, Jersey. "
"--And if you lose, you've gotta spill the whole storyabout your ex. As my therapists say, coping begins with conversation, and fromthe looks of it, you've got a lot of talking to do."
"You can make as many concessions as you want, I'm not gonna lose."
"Neither am I. But if, by the end of things, you somehow manage to convince me you're worth it, I'll think about telling you if I'm a virgin or not."
He lowered his head down to mine till I could feel how close his lips were to mine.
"Deal, but you won't just tell me, you'll show me."