He settled for you.
You're not even second best. You're fifth.
You know he deserves better. Do him the favor.
Baekhyun tore the letters in two and held the pieces with his fingers as he looked at the unread others. Why he even bothered to rip the papers when all he'd do was shove them in the trash bin, he didn't know... Maybe it was due to the frustration he refused to show to anyone else. It wasn't necessary to do what he did, but there was a fire in his heart that couldn't bear the sight of the letters untouched.
He wasn't sure how he was beginning to feel with the words. Preferably, he wanted to be numb to it all, but there was something about the numbers and the constant reminder that started out as nothing more than just a pretentious conquest to ease someone else's heartache that kept him bleeding no matter how many times he tried to fix the gaps.
There was no one in the cubby area, due to the fact that he was late again. Baekhyun tried not to think about his tardiness too much. It was stressful to think about the mechanics of school and attendance when he didn't even feel organized and right in his private life.
He was in the midst of changing his shoes when he heard footsteps from behind. Immediately, he tensed. The paranoia that had built after the shed incident was evident in his body language. Panic began to boil when he had the intention of turning around only to stopp when he felt two arms grab him from behind, pulling him into a tight hug.
Baekhyun said nothing, frozen. He made no attempt to rip himself away, but was surprised to feel the individual's hold on him soften.
"You're not even going to scream for help?"
Whipping his head back, Baekhyun saw the way Chanyeol's eyes flashed a brush of concern despite the teasing expression on his face. "Nothing happened, so I..." The brunet stopped. "Actually, I don't know. Delayed reaction, I guess."
"What if I had been someone else?"
"You weren't, so that matter's been averted, don't you think?" Baekhyun turned his back towards the athlete in order to continue on with his business. Shutting the door to his cubby space, he began walking to the trash bin.
Chanyeol followed close after, both arms retracted back and holding onto both his backpack straps. "What's that in your hand?" he asked with curiosity in his voice.
"Nothing," Baekhyun replied platonically.
"Are those love letters, Byun Baekhyun?"
Rolling his eyes at the teasing other, Baekhyun scoffed. "Yes, ironically. They are."
"From who?"
"A secret admirer, Chanyeol. Who else?"
"Let me see."
Sprinkling the pieces into the bin, Baekhyun looked back and gave him a look. "Interested in my potential love life?"
"Maybe."
Blinking, Baekhyun found himself caught off guard by Chanyeol's slip. The latter sounded more serious than playfully curious about the letters he had tossed. Frowning, he turned back around to face him.
"Nevermind the letters, Yeol. Why're you late?"
"Can't I be late sometimes?" Chanyeol replied dismissively, his eyes glancing past the brunet and on the trash can. "You know, I don't get jealous very easily, so it would've been okay to show me those letters."
"You don't get jealous easily? That's a lot of credit, even for you," Baekhyun responded. "Anyways, they were nothing, so don't worry about it."
"Why did you rip them up?"
"Because crunching them into a ball would've taken up a lot of space in the bin. I was trying to be minimalistic with my garbage--"
"Why did you call your love letters garbage?"
Baekhyun looked at him. "Why're you asking me so many questions?"
"I'm curious. Shouldn't I be?" Chanyeol gave a short laugh. "People are sending you love letters... Ah, I know. Maybe we should be more obvious so these secret admirers of yours will stop chasing after someone already taken."
"I don't think that'll work, Chanyeol..." However, the brunet couldn't help but give way to a tiny smile etching his face. The idea was soft and endearing, but it was just a fantasy. "Let's stop talking about them now. I have class."
For a brief second, neither moved. Baekhyun felt something odd about their situation, feeling tension in the air despite the way the towering athlete tried to keep the mood light and free.
Ignoring the feeling in his gut, Baekhyun grinned and cocked his head in the direction of the main hall. "I'll see you after school. You have practice don't you?"
"I do, but where's my kiss?" Chanyeol asked. "There's no one around. You're more than welcome to sneak one on my lips. I'll pretend I'm not looking."
"Chanyeol--"
"With all of your admirers, don't forget about your number one right here."
Snorting, Baekhyun walked back, grabbing the giant by his backpack straps. "A quick one."
"Sure. Quick is good."
The brunet bit his tongue, deciding not to retort as he gently tugged the athlete to stoop closer to his level of comfort. However, in the end, he still had the courtesy to stand on his toes just for their lips to meet in the middle.
Only meaning to hold the kiss for a few mere seconds, Baekhyun was caught with surprise when Chanyeol's hands moved to hold him tight on the waist, pressing their bodies closer against one another. Despite the surprise, he didn't immediately jump back or try to retaliate by hitting the latter on the side of the head. Instead, he let the jock toy with his lips for a few seconds longer, allowing his warm tongue to slide along his bottom lip.
When it became appropriate to, Baekhyun pushed him away just as softly as he pulled him in. "Okay, that's enough of that."
"One more," Chanyeol quickly said, trying to negotiate. His breath warm and familiar against the brunet's own mouth. "Against a wall or something. Please..."
Laughing, the small male shook his head as he pulled away even more. "No more. I have to go to class."
Groaning, the giant threw his head back, kneading the back of his neck with a hand. "The one time you actually want to go to class... But fine. I want you to graduate so we can do all the traditional things like exchanging buttons and taking pictures."
"I'm not traditional," Baekhyun said, teasing.
"Can't wait for you to show me what non-traditional things you can do if you know what I mean." Winking, Chanyeol took a step forward, showing cease in his pursuit for another kiss. "Anyways, same place for lunch?"
"Actually, no. I have to run a quick errand, so no lunch today."
"Errand?" Frowning, Chanyeol blinked. "No lunch either?"
"I have to race down to the music store, get my check, cash it in, and come back."
"Our lunch period's practically an hour. Maybe bring something along?"
Shrugging dismissively, Baekhyun looked down the hallway to his classroom again. "Yeah... I have things packed so I'll eat on the bus."
Clearly not entirely too happy but well aware of the lack of power he had over the situation, Chanyeol sighed, nodding. "Okay, then... I'll come by your room after school, and we'll go to the gym together. We don't know who might be lurking around the corner..."
"Right." Smiling, Baekhyun raised a hand. "Well, then.. bye. For now."
"Bye..." Chanyeol replied in a softer tone. After a moment of hesitation, he added, "I love you."
Baekhyun, for a split second in time, looked stalled, as if the words being said were too much of a burden (or guilt) to bear. However, he picked himself back up, grinning with happiness feigned on his face. "I love you, too, Chanyeol... I'll see you after school."
-
-
The weather was too hot for his liking, and the headache that began shortly after second period was beginning to get worse. Even the ten minute bus ride to his work place was spent in annoying agony with most of the ride spent with his eyes closed. Moving around did nothing to ease the throbbing. Left with no choice but to bite down and deal with it, Baekhyun walked up to the music store and pushed past the front door, immediately being greeted by his co-workers.
"Princess!"
Glancing up, Baekhyun caught sight of Jihoon on the high ladder, changing decorations on the highest shelf in the store. Mustering a small grin, he nodded. "Hey."
"Skipping school?"
"No. Picking up my check really quickly. Is boss in the back?"
"Yeah--hold on. I'll take you to him." Relocating the scissor from his hand to him mouth, Jihoon carefully climbed down the wooden ladder, all the while slightly terrifying the brunet about what might happen if the man fell and accidentally slashed his mouth with the metal object. However, once his feet were on the floor, Baekhyun felt relieved. "You look better from down here."
"Thanks..." Baekhyun said slowly, accepting what he assumed to be a compliment.
"I could probably flirt with you all day, but you gotta run back to school." Sighing exaggeratedly, Jihoon cocked his head over to the door that lead the the back of the store. "So, if you'll follow me, princess."
"I work here. I don't need you to--"
"I know, but I want to walk you." Draping an arm over Baekhyun's shoulder, Jihoon pulled him in closer. "And just between the two of us, I need a little break, so be a good boy and let me use you as an excuse."
Rolling his eyes, Baekhyun decided to let the conversation die. Jihoon naturally let him go once they walked through the door and he promptly escorted the brunet to their boss' back office. It didn't take very much time for Baekhyun to receive his check of measly earnings. He managed to walk out from the back room in just a couple of minutes.
Jihoon hadn't waited for him in the back. Instead, once Baekhyun stepped into the store again, the older gentleman put his arms around him.
"Is thin the new 'in' nowadays?"
"No, but apparently being too close for comfort is."
"Ah, you're a no-fun-runt." Jihoon snorted and let him go, messing the brunet's hair. "Are you in a hurry back to school?"
"Not really. I have time," Baekhyun replied, fixing his shirt. "It's just that... I should probably stop by the convenience store. My head hurts a little bit."
"Going to take medicine without eating first?"
"I have my lunch in my bag."
"Hn. Whatever, buttercup. There's a convenience store right around the corner. Don't wander around for too long. If I see you on my lunch break in twenty minutes, I'm dragging you to a ramen shop and you can call that a date."
Baekhyun raised his brows. The older male was amusing at times, even with his not-so-subtle flirting, though both of them knew how harmless that was. The brunet had already watched his senior flirt with everything whether that was a man, woman, or boys like him. Plainly, their relationship felt like one between two brothers, and Baekhyun often made that clear.
"When are you going to get a girlfriend--boyfriend, if you prefer," he muttered, fixing his hair.
"Then again, you don't seem to be the type to settle for anyone."
"Nobody has stolen my heart yet, so I'm free for now... Anyways, I'm holding you in here for too long. Get out of here, Byun," Jihoon said, feigning annoyance as he put his hand on Baekhyun's back, pushing him towards the store exit. "We'll have to carry on this conversation on Saturday."
"Sure."
"Say hello to that friend of yours. The tall one. Your only friend, I think."
Baekhyun gave the man a look before reaching behind and taking his hand from his back. "Will do. I'm sure he'll appreciate that you actually remember him."
"Any kid that can drink more than two shots is worth remembering."
With tight lips, Baekhyun nodded. He had no intention of remembering that night. It was better off buried...
"Well, then... Saturday."
"Saturday."
-
-
Trying to convince himself that he wasn't a petty son of a bitch did nothing to ease how dirty he felt about going behind his boyfriend's back to dive into his dark business.
Chanyeol kept the smile on his face as he walked down the hallways with the cubby area as the final destination. He was greeted by those he passed, and he reciprocated, waving and greeting back before promptly heading on his way down to the bottom level again.
There weren't many kids loitering around the stairwells. Few chose to eat their lunch there. It was somewhat one of the unofficial lunch spot on hotter days.
With a hand on the rail, Chanyeol took out his phone and glanced at the messages. Baekhyun's replies were always short and curt, never dragging or overly decorated with fluff, which the athlete sometimes made a comment about in the hopes that it would help change the brunet's cold texting habits. He made progress, but not a lot in that certain field.
Thumbing over their conversation box, he wondered where exactly Baekhyun was. The last thing he sent was an update, stating that he was at a convenience store for something that he vaguely mentioned. It was concerning how the latter often left him out of things, but he should've been already accustomed to the way Baekhyun liked to keep to himself, which he respected entirely (though not without a slight hint of evident and vocal discomfort).
Ten minutes had passed since the brunet last contacted him, which prompted the basketball player to begin a new message using one hand. While in the midst of finishing a brief sentence, he felt a body collide with his. Being the larger individual, he managed to stabilize himself quickly. The same couldn't be said about the latter student.
Just as the other was about to stumble back, in danger of falling, Chanyeol reached out and managed to grab their arm, preventing what could've been an accident. Both of them were shaken for a moment until Chanyeol realized how hard he was gripping their arm and eased.
"Sorry--"
"No, I'm sorry," Chanyeol said, quick to own up to his own clumsy mistake. "I shouldn't have been texting, especially on the stairs."
"No, it's fine! I shouldn't have been daydreaming, but force of habit, you know."
"I guess everyone has bad habits..." Apologetically smiling, Chanyeol looked over his poor victim again. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah! No harm done."
"You're not saying that to make me feel better, right?"
"Of course not!"
"Nana," Chanyeol said a little more sternly than before. "Are you one-hundred percent sure?"
Rolling her dark, black eyes, Nana briskly blew her bangs from her face as she gave the tall player an exasperated look. "Yes, Dr. Park Chanyeol... You're always a worried individual. Relax."
Shrugging, Chanyeol gave a small grin. "I'm covering liability."
"Yes, I know you are. Anyways, be careful texting. Your mom's not worth accidently falling down the stairs and breaking a rib."
"For your information, I wasn't texting my mother--though, I mean, yes, I was but not when we, you know--"
"I get it. You don't need to tell me your entire life story." Smiling, Nana put her hands behind her back. "Tell her hi for me. Maybe she can give my mother a discount the next time she stops by their shop."
"If you want free bread, you can always just say so."
"That'd be shameless of me, and I'm not shameless. I have pride."
"Well...so does somebody else I know, but he still eats the things I give out for free."
Cocking her head, Nana glanced off. "All this talk about bread is making me hungry... I'll see you around, okay? I'd talk to you some more, but I value my lunch upstairs more than you."
Making a face, Chanyeol acted as if offended. "Ouch... When did you get so mean?"
"Probably when you broke up with me. Guess you can say that I've become one of those stereotypical girls who let a broken heart turn them into...rebels?" She laughed, hopping up a few steps, only turning around partially to wave. "Bye!"
Returning the gesture, Chanyeol nodded. "See you."
After she had gone, Chanyeol continued down the stairs, entering a hallway leading straight to the cubby area. The pathway wasn't crowded, nor were there many students who hung around in that space during lunch hour, making it easier for him to resume finishing his message to the brunet who still hadn't sent him anything.
Once he finished, he didn't hesitate to send immediately, watching as it sent.
Hey! Just checking up on you again. Are you okay? Reply back as soon as you can! Love you.
He waited for a few seconds, slightly hopeful that Baekhyun would reply immediately out of guilt for worrying his boyfriend over the many possible things that could've happened during his silence. But Chanyeol found that he was being too hopeful for nothing. Baekhyun kept silent despite the tiny notification on the side that told the giant that the brunet had seen his words.
Sighing, Chanyeol tried to not think too much about the fact that he was being blatantly ignored. He had another task to focus on.
Peering down the metal bin, he kept his lips shut tight while his eyes glazed over the amount of garbage that had accumulated since that morning when he waited for Baekhyun to arrive late. For a moment, he began to become hesitant. Sticking his arm in trash didn't seem like such a big deal until he saw sticker wrappers from popsicles and leftover food all in one pile. But then, he forced himself to roll up the sleeve to his right arm. His mother wouldn't have liked the idea of rolling up a nice dress shirt the way he did, but he had to. He needed to find those shredded letters.
It felt disgusting to touch so many discarded things at once, but after a few minutes, Chanyeol's mind no longer paid any attention to the textures. It was completely focused on finding the papers Baekhyun had ripped and ignored.
Love letters, the brunet had said...
Chanyeol heard himself angrily scoff at the lie. Love letters? He might've believed it if he hadn't seen the way Baekhyun's hands were shaking or how his eyes looked evidently distraught despite the fact that he smiled and made an attempt to appear as if nothing was wrong.
Growling, Chanyeol shifted the unwanted trash off to the side. He wanted to find those pieces and read what they said. He wanted to know what made Baekhyun shake either in anger or sadness. Whatever it was, he was going to turn everything upside down and inside out just to know what was haunting the brunet, because at the end of the day, their relationship would be on the line... And it was always on the line, something Chanyeol hated, but couldn't fix. At least, not when something was clearly bothering Baekhyun and chasing after him physically.
It took no more than five minutes to get to the near bottom where the pieces of the letters were all relatively located near one another. His white sleeve, though rolled up, had gotten messy and stained, but his concern over the stains was overshadowed by the bitter rage he felt when he finally set all of the papers down and pieced each one of them back together again, one by one.
His phone buzzed.
[ Baekhyun ]
I'm fine.