Elijah
I don't know who was more stubborn, me or her. She wouldn't sit there and hear me out, but I wouldn't even give her nothing to hear. I sound like the dumbest nigga on earth, not ready to be in a relationship with a person people wish they had as a girl. I was one lucky dude but I was blowing through the shit, just being dumb. This wasn't even the first time I fucked up like this. In fact, the first time is directly affecting me now.
A long time ago I was in an unhealthy relationship. I considered myself happy and deeply in love. I was the one who fucked her head up. My favorite thing to do with her was to admire her beauty and look at her for as long as she could stand it. Shit was creepy, I know. But her inner beauty was captured through her eyes. Looking at them and being able to know that they are attached to the most beautiful woman in the world, made me feel like I had everything I've ever wanted. I felt that way until I got greedy and wanted more.
I started wanting to stick my dick in anything I could, especially because she wouldn't give it to me. I could tell that she was catching onto my behavior, so I started to have a fuck it attitude. Whatever she saw, she saw. I didn't care anymore, and neither did she. I went out every night and didn't give a fuck about her feelings. I pushed her away and ultimately, she left me.
Now my only fear is hurting someone else. I should have been better to her and made sure she was happy. I refuse to hurt anyone else the way I hurt her. The way we ended made me feel like shit. I messed her head up, that was all my fault.
That's why I'm feeling like fuck a title because once we're official, ain't no telling what I'll do. Last thing I wanna do is fuck with Sai head, but I know she ain't gon wait forever. I'on know how long it's gon take me to fix the shit but I gotta hurry up. I called up Tia to see what she'd say about it.
"Hey cousin," her voice was cheery like she was happy.
"Ay Tee. I need yo help," she smacked, asking me what the hell I wanted. "It's about Sai." She smacked once more, then went on to ask me what was up. "I told her I ain't wanna be together right na' because of what went on last time." She already knew what happened between me and my ex, so there was no need for me to explain.
"Do she know about it?"
"Nawl, and I'on think I can tell her right now. She tryna make us official and I'm all for it but damn. I don't need to ruin what we got." She was silent for a moment, as she usually was before giving advice.
"Eli, you tell that girl what went on, and since she a smart girl she's going to give you time. Work on whatever you hurt about from that past relationship, and put that behind you. Let ha' in, boy." She hung up the call shortly after, getting back to running her tattoo shop.
She was right. People don't get through shit by themselves, they get help. Only way she would understand was if I made her understand, but right now I guess she just needed space, as did I.
Interrupting me from my thoughts, my phone rang. It was Shawn, Neisha's man. He became a guy that I knew I could trust with shit. And we kick it all the time, considering Nene and Sai always together.
"Bro, wassup?" In the back I heard Neisha scolding him about not having too much fun and the closing of a door.
"It's a party at one of the dorms at Clark. You wanna pull up?" I really wasn't gonna do anything for the rest of the night but sit here and be in my feelings.
"Yeah man, how close are you?" I got up and went to my closet, looking for something to wear.
"Fifteen. Imma see you," he clicked the call off and plugged my phone in so it could charge. I decided to put on some black Trues. I kept the shirt I had on and put on a denim jacket. On my feet was some wheat Air Force highs.
In less than what I expected, Shawn was honking his horn outside. I got inside and he dapped me up. Inside he had his phone hooked up on the aux playing some Young Dolph. We rode there, bumping some other trap shit and talking.
"Need me to stick around you? Imma be over there with some niggas I ball with." We entered the moderately sized frathouse swarming with people. Red cups were littered on the front lawn, and music could be heard from down the block. "Nah it's good." We parted ways as I walked over to where the drinks were. A nigga needed something strong. To much shit was running through my head and I wanted to forget it all.
I downed a cup of vodka then filled it back up to the brim, walking to the backyard. There was a slide door and I had to go through to get there, and someone was blocking it. As I neared I saw it was a woman. She looked to be about 5'4 and light skinned. Her hair was a light brown and was in a slicked ponytail on the back of her head. It reached her lower back, where tattoos sat on her ass. The girl was wearing a white bandeau that showcased her pierced nipples. She had the body of a model: curves in all the right places.
I walked up to her, drink in my hand. I ain't know if I was drunk or on some high, being that I only had a cup of liquor. "Whatchu doin' here, looking just right?" I asked. She rolled her eyes and blushed, but acted as if she was uninterested. "Gon' on nigga," she turned to one of her friends she was with and began talking, glancing at me once. I took another swig of the drink, letting it burn my throat.
"What's ya name, beautiful?" She slick turned around, getting the memo, her friend walked away leaving us two to talk. "Carmen. I ain't seen you around Clark. What you doing up here...?" She moved out the way and followed me outside.
"I'm Jah. I could say the same 'bout you, Carmen." I didn't give her my real name cuz I didn't want her to have it. I spun it to where it seemed like I actually went here, though I didn't. "I just came to have a good time, and I was hoping you could help me with that."
I finished the remainder of the drink in one swig then threw it in the grass. The lights were dim other than the ones coming from inside the house. Magnolia by Playboy Carti was blasting through the speakers.
"Uh huh, and if I help you, what Imma get in return?" She stepped closer to me, so close that I could feel her piercings. I bent down to whisper in her ear. "You can catch all this tongue." I bit it as the last word left my mouth.
What the hell was wrong with me?
"Where you wanna go?" I grabbed her hand and led her back through the door and out to the front. I used my phone to call an Uber, and waited ten minutes for it to get here. The whole time we waited she roughly kissed me, and for the first time I didn't have dominance. A red Kia pulled up to the curb.
Carmen opened the door and got in first. During the whole ride Carmen couldn't keep her hands off me. When we were ten minutes away she began straddling me and kissing my neck. I'm sure the driver was pissed off, but neither of us gave a fuck. I was completely numb and all I wanted was the girl in front of me.
Pulling up to where I stayed, she opened the car and I carried her to the door. I unlocked it in lightning speed and carried her inside. Kicking off my shoes, Carmen flopped on the bed. She pulled my shirt over my head and kissed me some more. "Let me help you have a good time," she slipped her bandeau off along with her shorts, leaving her full ass in just a thong.
She got up from the bed and switched places with me. Getting on her knees she removed everything I had on, exposing my hardness. Her eyes widened at its length, as if she wasn't expecting it to be that size. She looked up at me as she put only the tip in her mouth, licking circles on it with her tongue.
Carmen began taking more and more of it in her mouth as my eyes rolled to the back of my head. "Oh fuck." I held her hair out the way and she started using her hands. Her head bobbed up and down.
Keeping up on my side of the bargain I picked her up and laid her on the bed, finally being in control. I left kisses on her neck, trailing down to her navel. I kissed her thighs and all around her cat, just to tease her. I slipped off the thong and kissed her pussy as she let out a small moan. I started licking and sucking, eventually adding my fingers. My tongue worked circles on her, and after a little bit she tried pulling away from my grasp. Her moans got louder and louder as she was on the verge of climaxing.
I lifted my head and stood up right before she did and put my tip at her entrance. I slid it in slowly and started with slow strokes.
"Mhmm," her moans were intensifying. She was already wet before I started going faster. Carmen felt so good, and within minutes I was already going at max speed. "Shit, girl." My dick was covered in her cum. "Oh, fuck.... Jah." She was yelling at this point, signifying that I put it down good. I kept going, and even though she was running from it, I kept my grip on her legs tight. Feeling myself about to release, I pulled out and she brought her face to where I was, letting me cum all over her face.
I fell back on the bed. Shit.