I had a sister.
She's older than me. Smarter than me. More good-looking than me. Braver than me.
And I looked up to her.
She had these amazing collections of books and CDs in her room. I'm not actually allowed to be in her room since mom didn't want it to be "disturbed." But sometimes, when she's at the hospital, I sneak in. Like today.
I stayed there for a while, listening to her copy of an album of The Smiths and laying on the dusted hardwood floor. One of her band posters was about to fall, its left corners were no longer taped to the wall. I stared at her made bed and took her copy of The Raven Boys before leaving and locking her room.
I used to look up to her. Now I just stare longingly at everything she left behind.