if it doesn't
burn a little
what's the point
of playing
with fire
-Bridgett Devoue
***
important a/n at the end
It's been a little over six hours since Calum bled out on the storage building floor, and Luke hasn't said a single word.
He's completely silent as we pack up, his face shut like a screen door and every single movement tense. Now that I think about it, everyone is silent. Nobody wants to speak, because nobody has anything to say.
Ivy is the fiercest I have ever seen her, her long blonde hair yanked back into a ridiculously tight bun, the flame tattoo on her neck shining with sweat. Her green eyes are hard and emotionless, a butterfly knife in one hand and a bag in the other as she begins to lead everyone out.
My arms still hurt from the night before, even with the makeshift bandages Ashton created a few hours ago. I really am an idiot. I've got to stop wallowing in my own self pity and try to focus on what's happening on hand.
Still, I can't get rid of this emptiness. Like a part of me has been viscously ripped away, and it isn't coming back.
Zay's still looking at me sideways, as he has been all morning. At this point I'm so numb I don't even have the strength to lie anymore. I'm just waiting for him to ask the question.
"So, Miss Nye." He says quietly, and I inwardly sigh. We're all on the move now, continuing to head north east. "What the hell happened last night?"
I shrug. "I let some stuff out. Might have broke a finger or two. But I feel better now."
"Good, I guess." Zay replies, reaching down to gently give my hand a squeeze. "Just please try not to hurt yourself deliberately. I know you're in a lot of pain, but it only makes things worse."
"I know, Zay, I know." I almost roll my eyes, but refrain. "I got the same talk from Luke last night. I won't do it again, I promise."
"Good." He slips his arm around my shoulders. "Makes me like the guy a little more."
Not being able to help myself, my eyes scan the group until they land on the black haired boy himself. He's walking ahead of everybody again, side by side with Ivy, armed with two daggers and an expression that, even though I can't see it, I'm sure says back the hell up.
His whole physique has changed. He's even more tense than before, his arms taught with muscle and his movements careful and robotic. It's scary. Like if you even were to irritate him, he'd rip your head off. I suppose that's his way of dealing with the pain, and I am in no position to judge. I want to talk to him, but at the moment there is no place and no time.
The atmosphere is different. Shifted. Gone is the easy trust, the team dynamic. Now there is only fight or flight mode.
"How are you doing, anyway?" I ask, changing the subject. Zay's still as pale as ever, his green eyes flecked with red veins, but he seems calm and collected.
"Good, actually." He replies. "I mean, I literally feel like a walking rock, but other than that, I'm splendid."
"Is it weird only having one arm?" I can't help it, the question has been bugging me for days.
Zay snorts. "Weird? I can't even pick my nose without trying to do it with my right hand, only to realize it's not there. It's wank."
Despite the events of the night before, I find myself smiling a little. Xavier can do that to a person. "Hm. If we survive this, you should pick up surfing."
"So you do get my old movie references!"
"Guys, please be quiet." Ashton rolls his eyes, walking a little ahead of us. "I can't hear myself think."
We oblige, Zay giggling a little under his breath.
We're approaching a big city, the skeletons of the once beautiful skyscrapers towering a few hundred yards off. I can smell the sour air already, the breath of the mutants. I reach for the dagger in my boot, but grasp air.
Luke must have it. I think. Well, at least I have a proper excuse to talk to him later.
A low growl suddenly emanates from a pile of tin in front of us, and Ivy immediately kicks it over and shoves one of her swords through the neck of the small mutated dog beneath it. It looks to have once been a Chihuahua, before the bubbling skin and red eyes took over.
Blood splatters up the side of Ivy's face when she pulls the sword out, and she wipes lazily at it with the back of her hand before continuing to move forward. I can hear more growls now, in the distance, right in the direction we're walking. Wonderful, just wonderful. Like we need even more life threatening creatures throwing themselves at us.
Michael is a few feet to my right, bringing up the rear of the group. His expression is sullen, his grip on his gun hard and deliberate. I can see the red around his eyes even from here. Calum's death wasn't easy on any of the soldiers, especially the ones close to him.
We walk for another twenty minutes it seems, and by the time I've emptied my water jug we're making our way into the main part of the city. I have counted seventeen mutants that we've killed this morning alone, just on the way here. I don't want to know what's actually lurking in these streets. I just want to get through them and move on.
"Everyone stay back." Luke orders, his weapons poised to attack. He's still moving forward. "I can hear them already."
Ivy unsheathes her second sword, whipping them forward, and her bun tumbles down into a ponytail at the force. The flame tattoo on her neck seems to flicker with every movement.
"Wait for it." Luke says, and the look in his eyes is one that I have never seen before. "Three, two, one-"
As if a switch was flipped, ten, twenty, thirty mutants flood out of the building's around us, all foaming at the mouth and growling. They're not just humans this time, there's dogs in the mix, cats too. We must be in a housing area, or near an apartment complex. A convenient location had to have been needed to produce this many mutants in so little time. L
"Shit." Ivy breathes, and Luke is already moving.
"The warehouse, go!" He shouts, taking off running in the direction of the large metal building a good thirty yards away. There's holes in the roof and the sides are warped, but it should be strong enough to hold them off.
Ivy follows him, and everybody else suit. My lungs feel as if they're shriveling up, and I'm panting heavily by the time I launch myself through the rusty door of the place and into safety.
Luke stays at the door with Ivy, watching as everyone crowds in. I can see the mutants making their advance towards us, they're beady eyes scoring our normal flesh, the mouths of the dogs dripping with saliva. Ivy jumps in once we're all packed together, preparing to shut the door, but Luke doesn't move.
"Sorry, guys." He says, that strange look in his eyes, before slamming the door shut in front of him, sealing us all in.
***
Everyone is so shocked, a solid five seconds pass by before Ivy realizes what's going on.
I can hear the snarls of the monsters outside, the clanging of metal with flesh. Grunting. Howls of pain. Ivy runs forward and slams her body into the door, but it doesn't budge.
"Dammit." She grits out, shoving at it again. "The bastard blocked it. Michael, look for a back door!"
Michael obliges, but comes running back with nothing. "It's blocked by wreckage."
"LUKE HEMMINGS, GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!" Ivy yells, pulling back to roundhouse kick the door as hard as possible. The entire building rocks, but the thing still doesn't open.
"What the hell is he doing?!" I ask, desperately trying to listen in on what's going on outside. There's still snaring, still clanging. Is he fighting them?
"I don't know." She pants, shoving at the door again. "He gets in these moods sometimes, but he's never suicidal. He's never been this stupid."
"LUKE!" Michael yells, joining Ivy in trying to get the damn door to open.
They try and try and try, to no avail. I don't know what the hell Luke did to block the thing, but it's definitely working. I don't know how it hasn't broken by now. It's dented in the middle, the metal caving outward, but it still won't swing.
Suddenly, everything outside goes still. It's completely silent. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife.
Ivy stops, sweat shining on her forehead. "Oh no."
Michaels squinting at the hinges of the door, not paying attention as Ivy quietly has a mental panic attack. Then, he says: "Hey."
The girl turns her gaze to him with wide eyes. "What?"
Michael slides his index finger under the edge of the middle hedge and pushes, and a popping sound is heard. The door rattles, and Ivy closes her eyes.
"Belt." She whispers, before kicking the door so hard, it nearly breaks in half.
This time the thing flies entirely off it's hinges, revealing Luke's tough leather belt, wrapped in a little contraption I've never seen before in my life. I don't have time to dwell on it though, because the scene in front of me takes my breath away.
Every single one of the mutants, all thirty-or-more of them, are scattered corpses in one massive circle in front of us. Piled on top of one another, almost all headless and bleeding out black and green. The smell is overwhelming and makes my eyes water immediately, and my hand comes up to cover my mouth before I can gag.
Luke is sitting on the wreckage of an old car in the middle of all the carnage, a dagger dripping in his hand. His shirt is torn to shreds, his torso covered in lashes and blood underneath it. There is a long, deep cut running from his left temple down to his collarbone, oozing crimson and soaking the ruined fabric beneath it. His face is covered in dirt, his hair a mess of black and grey. Those blue eyes are completely and utterly calm.
"Well." Luke says, and when he smiles, there's blood in his teeth. "Glad to see you finally decided to join me."
***
"You're a fucking idiot."
"What the hell, Luke?"
"Hemmings, I swear on Warner, you better have a good reason for this."
These are just a few of the things that are said when Luke climbs down over the body's to face us, wobbly on his feet. He's still smirking, but I can tell he's in pain. Whatever gave him that cut went in deep. I don't know how he hasn't passed out from blood loss yet.
"Calm down, people. I just saved all your asses, a thank you would be nice."
"Luke, they could have killed you!" Ivy nearly yells, shoving him backwards a bit. "What the hell were you thinking?"
"I was thinking that there's no way in hell any of you are getting hurt under my watch again." Luke replies, his voice dead serious. "As long as I'm kickin, you're breathing. Understood?"
"Calum's death wasn't your fault."
Ivy's voice is full of pain when she says it, but it still catches me by surprise. Luke flinches at the other boy's name, and his whole face seems to darken.
"It was. I had one job as your leader, and I failed. For that I'm sorry."
Ivy throws her hands into the air. "For fucks sake Luke, if that was your fault then it was mine too, for all you were involved in it. I know you're hurting. I'm not stupid. But feelings aside, I will not stand by and let you throw yourself into suicidal situations just so you can feel better. I won't lose you too. I won't."
Luke just looks at her, his eyes filled with so much guilt. But not for what just happened. For Calum's death. Calum's death, which he had no part in, to my knowledge.
Michael moves to stand beside Ivy, silently backing her up. It occurs to me that it was the four of them leading the group in the beginning, not just Luke. They didn't let him do it alone. Now there's just three.
Luke's eyes flutter for a second, but there's no wetness in them. When he speaks there's too much venom in his voice for it to be genuine. "I won't apologize for doing my damn job. Are you question my authority?"
Ivy raises her hand like she's going to hit him, but recoils, closing her eyes. "You bastard." She whispers, before turning away.
Luke opens his mouth like he's going to respond, but stops himself. His eyelids flutter again, and I'm the only one that seems to realize what's happening before he starts to fall. Michael catches him at the last minute, Luke's blood soaking into his shirt as he looks backward at Ashton.
"He's going to need stitches. You'll have to patch him up, you're better than all of us." Michael says, and Ashton nods stiffly, before coming over to help him get Luke up.
"I'm fuckin fine." Luke grumbles, but the way he goes completely limp in Ashton's grip says otherwise. Ashton hauls him over his shoulder, making such a big person seem like a rag doll, before sauntering off back towards the warehouse.
Ivy is chewing on her thumbnail, her gaze stormy. These people don't show much emotion through gestures, so I do my best to find it in their eyes. Right now, she looks angry. Angry and sad.
"How the hell did he kill them all?" She whispers, running a hand through her hair. She looks grimly among the dozens of corpses around us. "Surely he was bitten. There's no way."
"You know him, Ivy." Michael sighs. "You know what he's capable of."
"I also know he's not stupid." Ivy closes her eyes. "I need to sit down."
She goes over to the nearest piece of wreckage not covered in blood or gore, and Xavier looks after her with a longing expression. I elbow him hard in the side.
"What?" He whisper-shouts, looking at me incredulously.
"Go after her." I stare at him pointedly. Zay sputters, trying to come up with an argument but failing. He turns to walk in the direction she just went, and I sigh.
I can hear more mutants in the distance, a never ending mantra of death and despair. I feel like throwing up and crying all at once. Looks like we're stuck here for a little while.
"We might as well set up camp. It'll be a few hours until Luke is well enough to move again, and it'll be dark by then." Michael speaks my thoughts, an exasperated sigh escaping his lips. "I'll go tell the others."
"Or we could just leave him." A voice says quietly when Michael is out of earshot, and I turn around to see Jess.
She looks horrible, with huge bags under her eyes and her hair a frazzled mess in it's braids. Like she's been through war. She holds a finger up before I can even get a word out. "Don't even ask. Just don't."
I respect her request, but pull her into a hug instead. She freezes up for a moment, obviously surprised, before hugging me back just as tight.
"We'll get through it." I whisper, just loud enough for her to hear. "We'll be ok."
She doesn't respond. Instead, she gives my hand a squeeze before pulling away. The look in her eyes is all of the thanks I need.
***
The bugs are chirping everywhere, mixing with the crackling of the flaming bodies a couple dozen yards away. Ashton's forehead shines with sweat as he finishes wrapping the side of Luke's neck in a makeshift bandage, stopping the rest of the blood flow. It's nearly dark now, the sun setting behind the ashes. Luke is out cold.
We're in a small alcove in the back of the warehouse, one that probably used to be an office. There was no body when we found it, so the mutant it was housing must have died with the others or simply not been there when we locked up. Ashton's stitched Luke up the best he could with a hot needle and the thread from one of the first aid kits. The black haired boy's bare torso is covered in gauze patches and dried blood, his face and neck much the same.
I came here after we all took showers and refilled the water tanks, set up camp and ate dinner. The small bowl of sausage I brought Ashton is sitting untouched on the dusty ground. I just feel like I needed to see Luke to truly believe that what happened, happened. He took out thirty mutants by himself. Slaughtered them all, without a single bite mark. All to protect the people he feels personally responsible for, for reasons unknown to me.
"Ok." Ashton breathes, wiping the sweat from his face and standing up. "He's good now. I don't want to be here when he wakes up. Thanks for the dinner."
He steps over the bowl as he says this, completely ignoring it before ducking out of the opening out into the main warehouse. I sigh, moving to grab it, only for a pair of strong fingers to wrap around my wrist.
"I'll take that, thanks." Luke says, his bright blue eyes blank and unreadable. He must have been awake for the past few minutes. He picks the bowl up and scarfs all of the sausage down in a few short spoonfuls, tossing it off to the side and starting to sit up.
"Woah woah, slow down." I put a hand on his shoulder, only for him to shove it away. My breath catches in my throat.
"I don't need to take orders from you." He says, his tone cold. "You're supposed to be taking orders from me. Now please go and fetch Ivy. We need to discuss plans."
I remain kneeling in front of him, crossing my arms over my chest. "What the hell is up with you?"
"Oh, you know, the usual. Unending self admiration and incredibly attractive confidence." There's no humor in his voice at all. It's almost robotic, and his eyes are dead. He's exhausted. That much is true. He snaps his fingers in front of my face. "Now, please."
I stare at him. "Luke, we need to talk."
"About what, exactly?" He replies, cocking a thick eyebrow. "About how I got my brother killed because I was too busy worrying about you? I don't think so, Alexandra. Now either get Ivy, or leave."
Something about the way he says it, the pure emptiness in the venom, dulls down the hurt blossoming in my chest and replaces it with anger. "Calum's death-"
"Was my fault." Luke bites, his expression reminding me of a closed door. Shut, but with secrets inside. "End of story. I wasn't doing my job, and now he's dead. His blood is on my hands. I don't need a distraction, especially not one like you. So for fucks sake, Alexandra, just leave me alone. It will make things so much easier for the both of us."
That does it. I get up, my legs shaking with the force of all the emotions running through my body. I've only known this boy for a week. His words shouldn't affect me at all. He shouldn't affect me at all. But he does, and after last night, I know he cares. I know he's being destructive on purpose. I know he is. He's hurting those around him so he can ignore his own pain. It's the basics of human psychology and I know this, but it doesn't make his words any less painful.
"Luke." I say, once I'm at the door.
"What?"
"Grow a pair."
Even though there's no door to slam, my words drive it home anyway.
•••
hey guys so im leaving for church camp tomorrow and will be gone all week until saturday, and there is absolutely no electronic devices allowed so I won't be able to write. so, the next update will be sometime in the middle of the week after. i'll try to get it up as fast as possible and then we'll resume normal schedule.
anywho I hoped you enjoyed this chapter i had a lot of fun writing it
love ya lots. stay rad and see you soon
Xoxo
~Camryn