Chase POV continued
"This is the greatest, thank you!” She flung her arms around me. “You can have as many meals as you want, whenever!”
“I’d like that in writing, please.”
Her head fell back again as she laughed and, I kid you not, my heart actually soared.
“So.” I started playing with her hair, which changed color depending on the season, like a tree. Before I left to California, her hair was kinda-Blondish, Brownish. Now that I'm back her hair was a little more blondish, and her hair tips were more darker than usual. “Tell me everything. How was New Year’s?”
The smile quickly vanished from her face. I should’ve known better to keep bringing up something that reminded her of her mom. “It was good,” she said. “Um, when are you seeing Lola?”
I checked the clock. “I told her my flight got in right about now, so I should call her soon.”
“Yeah, you should call her. I know she really wants to see you.”
This was why Zoey was the greatest friend in the world. I hadn’t seen her in ten days, yet she wanted to be sure I saw my girlfriend.
“Do you want to come with me to see her?” I wasn’t ready to say good-bye to Zoey just yet.
She shook her head. “No, you guys should have some alone time.”
“Come here.” I gave her a huge hug. “You’re the best. You know that, right?”
She gave me a meek smile. I didn’t want to leave, because there was clearly something wrong. But maybe what she needed was some time alone. She was trying to get me out of the room fast enough.
“So are you.” Her eyes were so sad.
While I walked the seven blocks to Lola’s house, I couldn’t get Zoey out of my mind.
My best friend needed me and I was going to figure out what to do to help her.
But first I had to see my awesome girlfriend.
“CHASE!” Lola screamed before I even had a chance to get to the door.
She ran out in the cold and kissed me, which helped warm me considerably.
“You didn’t call me when you landed; I was getting worried!” She held my hand and led me inside.
I’d been so preoccupied with Zoey that I’d forgotten to even warn Lola that I was coming. “I had to drop something off at Zoey’s first,” I said. I didn’t want to lie to Lola anymore.
“Oh, you saw Zoey?” She smiled widely. “What did you guys talk about?”
I shrugged. “Just the usual. Plus, I still needed to give her the Christmas present.”
“Oh, right, that DVD thing?” She led me to the couch and asked me all about my time in California. She hardly let me ask her anything about what she’d done over break. It wasn’t like we hadn’t texted while I’d been away, but she kept wanting to know every detail about my trip.
“Hey, how was the New Year’s Eve party at Zoey’s?” I finally managed to ask.
“Why?” she fired back quickly.
“Ah, only curious. Zoey didn’t say much.”
“Oh.” Lola looked relieved. “It was great, a really good time.” She bit her lip. “Um, there’s something I should probably tell you. It’s totally not a big deal. You know Vince was there and whatever. I was giving him the tour of the house and we were in Zoey’s room. I guess the door was closed …”
I felt a tightness start to form in my chest.
“Anyway, we were talking and it was getting late and we were lying on the bed talking and Zoey walked in. It obviously startled us, but Zoey thought we were doing something, but it was all innocent. I swear. I just missed you so much.”
I didn’t know what to say. Mostly because I couldn’t believe Zoey hadn’t tipped me off. Even if it was nothing.
“But it’s a new year, a new start.” Lola leaned in and was only inches away from me. “I shouldn’t have talked to Vince or given him a tour, but, like, I don’t know. I wasn’t even going to tell you, but I didn’t want to keep anything from you.” She started rubbing my leg. “Forgive me?”
She started to kiss me. At first I hesitated. Not because Lola was a bad kisser, but there was so much information to process. But I gave in. If it were a big deal, Zoey would’ve said something. There was no way she would’ve seen Lola cheating and not tell me.
I thought I could trust Lola, but I knew for certain I could trust Zoey
=======================================
Chase: Ahem.
Zoey: You know you don’t need to say a single thing to make me feel bad about that.
Chase: I know.
Zoey: But you’re going to anyway, right?
Chase: Nope.
Zoey: No?
Chase: Oh, Zoey, one of us has to be the bigger person about such things.
Zoey: You’ve got to be kidding. Since when are you the bigger person about anything?
Chase: Since I forgave you for your betrayal.
Zoey: You’re right.
Chase: Wow! Did that actually work? I’m right? About something? It’s a Christmas miracle!
Zoey: You’re pretty proud of yourself, aren’t you?
Chase: Well, it is nice to be right about something for once.
Zoey: Don’t get used to it.
Chase: Oh, I won’t. You know I won’t.
_______________________________________________
Zoey POV
It was torture. Complete and utter torture.
I don’t think I breathed the night Chase left my house to go talk to Lola. I stared at my phone, convinced I was going to get a phone call from a newly heartbroken version of him.
The phone did ring, but it was Lola.
“Please,” she begged. “I know I made a mistake and the only person the truth would hurt is Chase. You don’t want to hurt him, do you?”
No, I didn’t. But I wasn’t the one who’d cheated on him.
“I promise you that I’ll never do anything like that again, and if I do, you’ll never have to speak to me for the rest of your life. I wouldn’t expect you to, either.” I could practically hear her pulse over the phone. “I really like Chase and I don’t want him to break up with me. Please, Zoey.”
I didn’t like having secrets. Secrets only ended up hurting people.
She continued to plead. “You’re my best friend. If I can’t trust my best friend, who can I trust?”
I bet Chase thought the same thing.
“I’ve known you for forever, we’ve been through so much. Can’t you please forgive me so I can forgive myself?”
That hit a nerve. I never thought about what Lola was going through, how hard this was for her. Although it was her fault.
“Please, Zoey, I’m begging. If I was there right now, I’d be on my hands and knees. If that’s what you want, I’ll be there in two minutes to grovel in person.”
I was so torn. Could I take her word that it would never happen again? I knew the truth would likely crush Chase. Maybe, I figured, it would be best to pretend it had never happened.
“Okay,” I said quietly.
There was a pause on the other end. “Really? Oh my goodness, Zoey. Thankyouthankyouthankyou! I’ll make this up to both of you, really.”
“Please treat Chase well. He deserves it.”
“I will! I promise! I love you!”
I should’ve felt relief when I hung up the phone, but all I felt was dread. As much as I wished to erase that night from my mind, I knew that some memories were harder to forget than others.
Especially the painful ones.
I’d told myself many lies over the years. The most frequent was “you’ll be fine.”
Yes, everything was going to be fine.
You’re going to grow up without a mother, but you’ll be fine.
You’ll wake up every morning and realize it wasn’t a nightmare, it was real. But you’ll be fine.
You’ll have to carry around a secret that could destroy your two closest friendships, but you’ll be fine.
And I thought I was a horrible liar.
One thing I had become very good at was avoidance. Avoiding Lola and Chase together. Avoiding talking about their relationship with either of them. Avoiding any topics involving parties, Vince, my bedroom, emotional scars, etc.
I managed to do it for over three months. Three months of not being able to be completely honest and open. Three months of having to watch every word I said, every move I made. Three months of pure, unadulterated torture.
As the snow melted and hints of sun started poking through the clouds, I thought maybe I would be able to put it completely behind me by the time summer arrived. I even saw a flower start to bloom while I was on my way to lunch in early April. I figured that had to be a positive omen.
Quinn waved to me from our regular lunch table. “Guess who I ran into last night.”
“Who?” I pulled out my carrots and homemade hummus.
“Ian.” She wiggled her eyebrows.
“Ian?”
She sighed. “Ian Branigan, from your New Year’s Eve party?”
Oh. I’d almost forgotten there were other things that had happened that night.
“Yeah. He seemed very interested in what you were up to these days.”
“So?”
“She says ‘so?’ ” Quinn said to nobody in particular.
“Oh, I’m sorry. He asked about me? Should I get the wedding registry ready?”
“She mocks.”
“Yes, she does.”
Quinn reached across and helped herself to some of my hummus. “I simply thought you’d be interested to know that a very cute boy was interested in you. And I may have mentioned that we were going to go to his track meet this Friday.”
“We’re going because Chase wants to check it out.”
“Yes, and while Chase checks out the team he wants to be on next year, you can check out Ian.”
“He’s a freshman.”
Quinn tapped her index finger against her lips for a moment. “Good point. What would someone at the bottom of the high school food chain want to do with a gorgeous girl like you?”
“That’s not what I meant.” I didn’t know what I’d meant exactly.
“All I’m saying is that he asked about you and that I said we’d be at the meet on Friday. No big deal.”
“Right.” I was making too big a deal out of it.
“Yes, no big deal at all.” Quinn gave that smirk that let me know another one of her patented zingers was coming my way. “Now do you care to explain why your cheeks are so red?”
ΩΩΩΩΩ
I always went to Chase’s mom when I had a question of the female variety. But I didn’t feel comfortable asking her what to wear to the track meet. I knew she would’ve probably been excited to help me, but I wasn’t sure how excited she would be about my having feelings for somebody. Anytime Chase and I got into one of our little bantering conversations, I’d catch our parents giving one another those looks. Those aren’t-they-so-cute looks. I was sure she’d be happy, but another part of me thought she wanted Chase and me to be together.
As much as I didn’t think Ian was into me that way, I also realized that maybe I wouldn’t be so preoccupied with Lola and Chase’s relationship if I had one of my own. I did love distractions.