Genre: happy cute fluff fantasy world kind of stuff
Word count: 5513
Dan had never really liked the dark. But to see him him again, he would bear it. Bear anything. And anyway, it wouldn't be completely dark outside, there was always the moon. And tonight when it was full and the sky was cloudless, Dan knew he had nothing to worry about.
*
It was about 9pm, and Dan's flatmates were all doing separate things. Now was the perfect time to sneak out. No one would notice until he was gone.
He quietly as possible put on his shoes and pulled on a thin jacket, putting his keys in his pocket and slipping out of the door, making sure it closed with only the least audible thud possible. Time to head out to 'their place'.
Dan honestly knew of no one else who's shared place with someone special was an abandoned rooftop of an old mechanic's garage, but this was Phil. And Phil was special.
He walked along the road quickly, staring up at the sky as he went. He could see the bright white flecks of stars scattered across the dark blue canvas the moon sat on, before he smiled and went a little faster, almost daring to run. But he didn't. They had agreed on a time, and Dan would stick to it.
It was just quarter past when Dan reached the garage. He walked around to the bins at the back and jumped onto one, before climbing his way up and onto the roof, walking over to the edge and sitting there, his legs hanging off the edge, making sure he was in the light. He leant back on his forearms and tipped his head back, staring upwards again. He had always known the moon was magical, but honestly, he wouldn't have guessed it could do this from all the cliches written about it.
Then he finally heard his voice again.
"Hey," he heard a whisper from beside him. Dan turned and smiled.
"Hey Phil,"
"How was your day?" Phil asked him. "It was good, but I always prefer the nights."
Ever since they'd met, they had always started their conversations this way. Except when Dan says met, he doesn't really mean that. What actually happened was mad, unrealistic and deniable. But that was the truth.
Phil had been following him. Following him for days actually. Dan had noticed of course, and decided he wanted to know why. So he called out to him, even though he had never properly seen him.
"Excuse me? Is anyone there?" He called into the dark street, but of course, there was no answer.
The next day Dan swore he knew someone was behind him yet again, but instead of calling out, he took a different route home, passing by an old closed down garage, a few broken cars littered outside. He climbed onto the roof, and sat. Then he saw someone come up behind him.
"Hello," Dan said, as if this was a normal occurrence.
"Hi," the man replied.
"Who are you?" Dan asked.
"Phil,"
"Phil what?"
"Just Phil, I don't have a last name,"
"How come,"
"I'm not human,"
"Oh."
Phil wasn't human. He was a shadow, created from the moon. Not Dan's at all, but for some reason Phil had latched onto him. He had never said why. That was why Dan couldn't see him in the dark streets. Phil needed moonlight to exist, and Dan deciding to sit on a roof had made it possible for him to appear. Only when the moon shone could Dan actually hear Phil, touch him. He was only alive when the moon was.
Dan hated cloudy days because of this. Because if there was no moonlight able to beam down to earth, it meant either no Phil, or interrupted conversations. And neither was the time he wanted to spend with this shadow.
Up close, if you got the chance, you would be able to tell Phil wasn't quite normal, despite his general human characteristics. His skin was as pale as the moon's glowing surface, shining lightly in the dark. His hair black as the sky when all it's stars are swallowed up by a veil. And his eyes were like swirling grey clouds, shimmering with blue when the light really caught them. He was dark and mysterious, but after all, he was made from moonlight.
Dan hadn't believed him at first, but when Phil had stepped back into the shadows and literally disappeared, Dan had no choice but to.
"So you're a..."
"A shadow. I am made from moonlight, and therefor only appear within it," Phil explained, then smiled. "I'm sorry I have been following you, I'm sorry if I scared you, I just felt sort of, tethered to you, but I'm not sure why yet. I kind of need to find out. So if it's okay with you, I would like to get to know you," Phil asked.
"Okay." Dan said simply, and that was that.
Every night possible since then they have met up, and gotten closer as friends.
Of course it wasn't a normal friendship, they couldn't exactly go out or play video games together, but it was comfortable for both of them. Just as Phil felt he had been tethered to Dan, Dan was beginning to feel the same about Phil.
Dan always felt this odd sensation whenever he touched Phil, like he was buzzing, attaching to his touch, and it was almost addictive. It made Dan's senses light up and shivers run through his body. It felt delicious.
So tonight, Dan felt even more curious about why Phil's form reacted to him as it did.
"Phil?"
"Yes?"
"Why does your body, sort of, vibrate?" Dan wondered awkwardly.
"How do you mean?"
Phil asked back, tilting his head slightly in confusion.
"Like, when I touch you it feels like you are buzzing and like you mould to my hand or body slightly, it's almost hard to move away," Dan explained and Phil furrowed his brow.
"I don't know. I didn't know I did that actually, I have never been told that before," Phil said, biting his lip.
"What do you mean 'before'?"
"Rebecca never told me that,"
"Who's Rebecca?"
"She was a friend. Like you,"
"Oh." Dan should have known he hadn't been the first. He felt stupid, insolent, and automatically second best. Maybe he was just a rebound or something.
"Rebecca was sweet, but I didn't feel drawn to her like I am to you," Phil told him, and Dan perked up slightly and looked around at him. "Maybe that's why it only happens around you," Phil suggested and Dan gave him a small smile.
"Maybe." He said, before nudging Phil's arm with his shoulder, feeling the vibrations link to him and making him shiver happily.
"Am I cold? I'm sorry," Phil apologised and Dan shook his head.
"No you're fine, I like the feeling," Dan told him. "And stop apologising, you're a shadow, why bother?"
"Because it's polite of course,"
"Trust you to say something like that,"
"Trust you to find manners stupid," Phil said, raising his eyebrows.
"Ugh." Dan sighed and Phil giggled quietly, his cheeks shining brighter where a blush should have been.
"Dan, erm... I was wondering if I could, you know, hug you?" Phil asked nervously and Dan smiled at him.
"Of course you can," Dan told him and Phil smiled. Dan opened his arms and Phil gently pressed into them, holding Dan close to him and burying his head slightly on his shoulder. His body moulded into Dan's and Dan felt a surge of electricity flow through him, making him almost shiver with pleasure once more.
It was that feeling you sometimes get when someone apparently walks over your grave, but different. A good feeling. You shiver, but your body fills up with feelings and you feel so happy. You giggle and laugh, like a friendly ghost is tickling you. It was like that to Dan holding Phil.
"Oh this is nice," Phil whispered and Dan chuckled.
"Have you not had a hug before?" Dan wondered.
"I have, but it was never like this," Phil told him. Oh.
"Well I am glad I am an excellent hugger." Dan replied as Phil finally pulled away, Dan holding onto his touch as he moved away. His body just felt so alive when he felt Phil against his fingertips.
"Dan?" Phil asked nervously.
"Yes Phil?"
"Can I hug you more often?" Phil asked shyly, ducking his head so his fringe hid his face.
"Only if I can hug you back."
~
The next night Dan set out for the same time. Unfortunately, it had clouded over slightly, so every so often the moon disappeared from sight, meaning Phil would be too.
He reached the roof, but stood up, waiting so they could move around if they had to.
Shuffling from foot to foot, Dan looked around for Phil. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and he shivered, looking around and smiling, but no one was there. Dan looked up at the moon, which had just gone behind a cloud. He sighed and stared at it, waiting for it to reappear, but as the clouds were getting thicker, it looked like it would be a patchy night.
A few minutes after the moon appeared, and suddenly Dan's arms were lifted invisibly and Phil had sneaked into them, hugging him tightly, his image suddenly clear.
"Hey,"
"Hey Phil,"
"How was your day?" Phil asked him. "It was good, but I always prefer the nights,"
"I can't stay long, because of the clouds," Phil told him. "But I really wanted to give you a hug," he added quietly, shyly hiding his face in Dan's neck again. "Dan the next time I disappear just go home, I don't want you waiting around for nothing," Phil told him.
"I would stay here all night waiting so I could talk to you," Dan told him, not wanting to let go of him.
"Exactly why you should go home. Okay promise me?"
"Fine," Dan pouted. He only agreed so Phil wouldn't get mad.
"While I remember," Phil said, half pulling away so they were both holding each others arms. "There is an important thing happening soon, I need to explain it-"
Dan's arms fell down through the air and he blinked, the impression of Phil's eyes burning blue lingering in the dark, before he sighed. Stupid clouds. He looked back up at the moon, and seeing that it wasn't going to come out for quite a while, decided to listen to Phil and go, even if what he had needed to say had been important. Hopefully he could tell him tomorrow. If they were meeting tomorrow? Their times changed quite often, what if he picked the wrong one?
He jumped down onto the bins and off the roof, walking out the drive and back onto the pavement, looking up at the sky every so often. He got halfway down the pavement before he looked up and the moon was back. He almost wanted to run back and see if Phil was still there, ask him about tomorrow, but the moon was almost gone already.
As if on cue, Phil was suddenly in front of him, a piece of paper shoved in his hands before he was gone again. Dan looked around to see if he was there at all before he looked down at the scrawled note.
Tomorrow 9:30
I'll explain the thing tomorrow, it's complicated.
Phil
X
Dan couldn't help but smile. Phil was just too lovely, and really sweet. He wondered what Phil had to tell him though. Maybe it was something about his people, his existence. Something that would intrigue Dan or some good news.
But then, what if it was bad? What if Phil was going to leave him? What if he was going to announce to Dan that he knew too much and erase his memory.
Dan knew Phil would never do that, but, what if he would? What if he could? Oh god, he was getting nervous now. He really hoped it was something good, something great, and not the endless possibilities of bad. He really didn't want to lose Phil, not know that he knew so much about him, cared so much about him.
He really did care. He just hoped Phil did too.
~
It was 9:25 and Dan was on the roof. His mind wouldn't let him wait any longer.
He really needed to know what Phil had to explain, if it was good news or bad news, if it would change anything or everything. He just needed Phil to tell him now.
"You're early," he heard Phil say from beside him, and he looked around. This was different, Phil usually just said 'hey' to begin with and their greeting always carried on the same, did this mean something bad had happened?
"I wanted to see you," Dan told him honestly, and Phil smiled slightly. Dan fidgeted around him for a few seconds before he gasped out the question. "Good news or bad news?" He gabbled.
"What?" Phil half chuckled in surprise.
"Is the thing you have to explain good, or bad?" Dan asked again and Phil laughed, staring into Dan's eyes, who blushed lightly.
"Is that really all you have been thinking about?" Nod. "You're so silly of course it's a good thing, hopefully, but it is complicated," Phil said and Dan breathed out.
"Oh thank god," he smiled. "I got worried you we're just gonna leave me," he added more quietly and Dan felt a nervous hand take his own, making him look down at it, then back at Phil.
"I'd never leave you," Phil said truthfully, and Dan smiled. "You're so special Dan, how could I ever?"
"I'm not though, I'm ordinary and plain," Dan sighed and Phil squeezed his hand.
"No you a definitely not, you are really amazing," Phil said. "And this actually ties into what I need to tell you," he said.
"In a weeks time, there is going to be a lunar eclipse at 10:13 on a clear night," he stated. "It is known that on a lunar eclipse, a shadow can become human, but only if they are with the right person, but it hardly ever works. I know it doesn't," Phil said, biting his lip and frowning.
"Have you tried it before?" Dan asked.
"I haven't been around as long as most shadows have, but yes, I have quite a few times. There are roughly two or three a year, and most of the time I have tried it. But it's never worked, and after it hurts,"
"How do you mean it hurts?" Dan asked, gently running his thumb across Phil's pale skin.
"I always have a person I feel close to when this happens, and I always get my hopes up, and theirs too. And then it doesn't work, and after if it doesn't work, they forget about me. I can never have contact with them again," Phil explained.
"Oh," Dan said. "And you are thinking about this with me?" Dan asked cautiously and Phil nodded, then shook his head, then shrugged, not looking at Dan.
"I don't know. I feel so much stronger about you than I have about anyone else," he said quietly.
"But I could lose you," Dan said sadly, and Phil nodded.
"That's another part of it, you have to want to do this too. We would have to define the moment with something important, something special, but there isn't anything specific. So I don't know at all if it would work." Phil told him, picking at his jumper.
"Phil, tell me this: what's the chance this will actually work?" Dan asked him firmly and Phil swallowed.
"For the others it was about an 18 percent chance it would work. But with you, it's more likely to be 25% because of how strong I feel. But that's still barely anything," Phil said sadly, knowing it didn't sound good at all.
"Phil, I can't lose you. I don't think you understand how much I can't," Dan told him gently and Phil nodded.
"I understand, that's fine, we just won't meet up, or else you'll forget," Phil said sadly and Dan squeezed his hand.
"I'm really sorry you know, I want you to become human, but I don't know if I can lose you," Dan said.
"I know, and I don't know if I could go through losing someone like you." Phil said, looking down at his feet. Dan looked at him and frowned.
"You really want to try this, don't you?" Dan asked, and Phil nodded. "Even with the odds?" He nodded again.
"But you don't have to, don't worry about it," Phil told him and Dan bit his lip.
"Phil, I'll think it over. You've been wanting this for so long, I don't think it's fair to not, but until I know if I can really risk losing you, I can't decide. So I promise I will tell you at least the night before," Dan said, and Phil smiled slightly.
"Thanks Dan." He said, resting his head on Dan's shoulder, and his heartbeat increased.
Phil to be human and his forever, or to forget and lose him for eternity, with only a 25% of success. This was slowly turning into a battle between head or heart, and Dan didn't know which one to listen to, as neither really knew what he wanted.
~
"Dan, not as pressure, but I will still be here next week if you want to come,"
"Really? I thought you'd want to be away from it all,"
"No. I like watching it, it sort of gives me hope. I always watch it, even when I have no one to share it with. It's so amazing, it's almost for a second that I don't exist at all. Not in shadows, not in light. But I can still see it,"
"That sounds amazing,"
"It really is. So if you need me-"
"You will be here."
~
"Have you come to a decision yet?"
"I'm sorry, I haven't,"
"That's fine, keep thinking."
~
"Have you thought it over fully yet?"
"I still can't decide, I'm sorry,"
"It's fine, we still have time."
~
"Not to be pushy, but-"
"No, I haven't."
"Okay."
~
"How about today?"
"Still unsure,"
"Okay, but I need to know by tomorrow."
~
"Hey," Phil whispered as he appeared beside him.
"Hey Phil," Dan replied, biting his lip and picking at a hangnail subconsciously.
"What's wrong?" Phil asked, taking Dan's hand away from him and covering it with his own. Dan looked up, as if he had only just become aware of what he was doing.
"What do you mean?" Dan furrowed his brow, but Phil raised his eyebrows at him.
"There's something on your mind. I can see it, kind of feel it," Phil told him.
"How do you mean feel it?"
"I sort of identify with your emotions sometimes. Right now you're feeling confused, worried, and guilty," Phil explained, and Dan sighed.
"I don't think I can go through with the thing tomorrow," he told him, and he felt Phil's shoulders droop.
"Oh," he said quietly, then tried to cover up with a smile. "That's fine Dan," he added, squeezing his hand, but Dan pushed it away.
"It's not though. I am pushing your dream away because I am being selfish," Dan said, standing up and walking away irritably. "And even though I know this I don't want to change my mind." He turned, but Phil wasn't sitting anymore. He was suddenly in front of him, and he gently reached up, cupping Dan's face gently.
"Dan, look into my eyes."
Dan stared, and all he could see was the moon reflected in them. But then it was swirling, greys and pale blues, washing around it and covering over all of Phil's iris, colouring the pupil bright white with silver crevices carve into it. It was beautiful. But maybe that was just Phil.
"What do you see?" Phil whispered.
"I see the moon," Dan said softly, not able to look away.
"Keep looking. Is there anything else?" Phil asked. Dan stared, and again, the moon shone back.
"No, just the moon."
Phil blinked, and his eyes seemed back to normal, and Dan saw Phil move away, looking bitter.
"I'm made of moonbeams, of course that's all my eyes are," he muttered to himself, before he turned back to Dan. "I'm so used to feeling human around you, I sometimes forget I'm not. I'm really just made of light and reflections, I just thought..." He trailed off and swallowed. He caught eyes with Dan and Dan's heart sank. He cared for Phil so much, it hurt to see him sad from Dan's decisions.
"Dan, you don't have to come tomorrow, don't worry," Phil said more casually, trying to smile. "We can continue being friends and seeing each other after, I'll love you either way-"
Phil's eyes widened as he realised what he had said, and Dan could only register shock. Phil's eyes watered, searching to say something, silent words trying to fall from his mouth before he let out a small sob, clutched his face and turned, running away towards the darkness.
"No, wait!" Dan croaked out after him, starting to move but Phil had already jumped off the building into the dark. "Phil!" Dan called out, looking around wildly, running a hand through his hair. "Phil!" He shouted again. He didn't realise Phil... Or why he felt... How did he not see it?
He looked around one last time, half desperately searching for Phil, half unsure of what to do. He finally decided Phil was gone and got off the roof, quickly walking home while his mind was reeling.
He got into his flat unnoticed before lying down on his bed, his room completely dark, the only thing giving some light being his glow in the dark stars. He stared at them, as if they would tell him what to do.
Phil loved him. He actually loved him. Did Dan love him back? He definitely felt a spark between them, but, he couldn't tell if it was just friendship, or more. He hadn't been in love before, he didn't know what it was like. Did it feel how it felt now or was it different? How the hell was he meant to know, Phil wasn't even human for god's sake, he was a shadow, a creature made of moonlight! How was he meant to know if he felt the same way?
He sighed, staring back up at the ceiling.
"This is stupid, you stars are only around when it's dark. Phil is only around when it's light. Unless he creates that light. He once told me that he was still in the world when it dark, he just couldn't show himself. Maybe he just needs the light to let himself shine," Dan mumbled to himself. "And now I'm talking to stars, great." He said sarcastically, before flipping over and closing his eyes, falling into and uneasy sleep.
~
He hadn't eaten breakfast. Lunch neither. He hadn't eaten anything all day, and now it was getting late. It was only a small amount of minutes until the eclipse. Phil would be there. And he probably felt terrible. What had Dan done? He had hurt someone as amazing as Phil. That was just disgusting. He was disgusting.
Someone knocked on his door and Dan grunted and his flatmate came in, looking a little worried, but mostly embarrassed and awkward.
"Dan, can I ask you something?"
"Yeah sure," Dan replied monotonously.
"What's it like to be in love?" His friend asked.
"What?"
"What's it like to be in love?"
"Why are you asking me?"
"Oh, I thought you knew. I mean, I thought you were," he said awkwardly, and Dan sat up quickly, looking at him.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you're not eating, you seem far away, and sometimes you look so sad, but there's a sort of happiness about it. I thought you were in love, heavens know who with. I thought that's who you sneak out to see every night. Sorry, I must be wrong."
Dan jumped up and quickly checked his watch. He could make it if he ran.
"I have to go, but thank you so fucking much." Dan said to his flatmate before he ran past him, not bothering with anything, not even shoes, before he ran out the door.
He flew down the roads, zooming until he reached the car park, jumping on the bins quickly and scrabbling up to see Phil standing alone, staring up at the almost eclipsed moon. Dan checked his watch, 2 minutes.
"Phil," he said quickly, and Phil span around, looking at him, his face sad.
"What are you doing here?" He asked. "Go back, before it's too late and you forget me," Phil said hurriedly, but Dan walked up to him and gently cupped his face in his hands.
"Do you want to know what I see when I look into your eyes? I see you, Phil, with the bright blue eyes and the quirky smile. The gangly boy who makes me happy and who I find perfect. I see a human trapped in moonlight, waiting to be free. And I love him," Dan told him, catching Phil's eyes in his own, seeing them flicker. "I see you, and I love you, and human or not, I'm never losing you." Dan said, and pressed his lips against Phil's.
His lips buzzed, his body shivered, but he held onto Phil, feeling his arms clutch him back in the desperate hope they would stay together, that Phil wouldn't disappear and Dan wouldn't forget.
The moon slowly passed above them, but they didn't let their lips part, the kiss filling Phil with the most human emotion possible. Love.
Suddenly Phil jerked, and stumbled backwards, losing hold on Dan and looking scared as he fell back into the light, as if he would never see Dan again.
But he didn't disappear. He stayed exactly where he was.
He looked down at his body, and then up at the moon. It had moved away, and the world looked normal again. Finally, he looked up at Dan, who's face was flooded with happiness and Phil lunged at him, pulling into a tight hug and laughing loudly.
"I'm human!" He beamed, pulling away and staring at Dan. "I'm alive," he whispered, and Dan brushed a piece of hair from his face. "And you love me," Phil said, and Dan blushed and smiled, ducking his head slightly.
"Yeah, I do," he smiled.
"I love you too." Phil told him, and kissed his lips sweetly.
"Hey, let's go home. We have all the time in the world now to talk, but why don't we do it in the dark?" Dan asked, and Phil slid his fingers through Dan's and they started walking, Dan's almost bare feet leading the way.
"In the dark. I like the sound of that."
*
They were living together in a new place. It was small and cosy, but it was special, and just theirs. To Phil, being able to sleep beside Dan in the dark was still such a novelty even after months, and he loved waking up in the morning knowing he wasn't going to disappear at any point ever.
But one day Dan brought up something Phil hadn't noticed before.
"Phil, do you know what's weird?When you were all moony, you're eyes were more grey, like the colour of moonbeams. And sometimes little flecks of blue shone through them. But now your eyes are the colour of the sky. They are so bright, it's almost kind of ironic," Dan smiled, and Phil grinned and pecked his lips.
"Maybe I was human all along," he joked, and Dan reached up to steal another kiss.
"Maybe you've just always been perfect,"
"Maybe?"
"Aren't you the cheeky little moonbeam?"
"Not moonbeam, human,"
"And human you will stay." Dan chuckled and pulled on his shoes, shoving on his jacket and grabbing his bag.
"Hey, did you know there's another eclipse tonight?" Phil asked.
"Really, should we go and see it, for old times sake? I know you don't like missing them,"
"Yeah, but at least this time I can really enjoy it,"
"Oh and why is that mister?"
"Because I can have you with me, and worry about nothing,"
"That I can promise,"
"So tonight?"
"Of course, see you when I get home from work. Love you,"
"Love you too." Phil smiled as Dan opened the door, before he turned back.
"Hey Phil, I'm so glad you weren't a figment of my imagination, imagine that, if you weren't actually real," Dan laughed.
"Haha how funny," Phil joked sarcastically sticking his tongue out at him.
"I know. And I know you're definitely real. My perfect little human," Dan said, kissing him one more time.
"Human. I do love that word."
Fun fact: I came up with this in the shower, I had to jump out before conditioning my hair because I ran out of room to write notes in the condensation