Marshall and I had went straight home; he didn't even give me time to say 'bye' to Royce, but I knew my friend would understand it. He had been my hold during the past days and I can't tell how thankful I was for that. It was partially his merit that Marshall and I had gotten back together that fast.
After 2 days of crying and sulking I had already realized that sooner or later I would forgive him again; I loved him way too much to be without him and that everything I'd said to him was in the heat of the moment. When Royce had seen that I'd stopped my 'eyes-out-bawling' he sat down with me and told me what had happened and what he'd heard at my home. He also told me that he'd advised Marshall to give me time and that I should use it until I would be 1000% sure what I wanted to do.
And that was exactly what I did....
I spent my days in Royce's backyard, mostly thinking about Marshall and our future and when Royce came back from work and brought the first note and I felt my heart aching terribly for him, I had started to put my mind on forgiving him.......and also Kim.
I had to forgive both of them, simply for the fact that we are a family. They were both guilty and it would've put a dent in our family relations if I'd forgive one and not the other, so for the sake of our future I started my process.
During the whole drive home Marshall hadn't said one word, only held my hand tightly in his. I was so shocked when I'd seen him after only 9 days, stepping into his office and once again I was thankful for my ability to forgive someone I love. He looked indescribable broken and hearing his voice and his words made me unspeakably sad. I never thought he would suffer so horribly from losing me and after I'd seen it with my own eyes, I swore myself; that no matter what he would do, as long as I knew that he loves me I would never leave him again.
"It maybe looks a lil chaotic..." he warned me when we walked up the few steps to our home and he unlocked the front door. He wasn't exaggerating. The first I saw was the small shoe rack in the foyer; where normally our 'often worn' shoes were standing on, which was shattered in pieces. I glanced shortly at Marshall who watched me intensely while chewing on his bottom lip.
"Wanna tell me what happened?" I asked him with a soft voice and he shrugged. "Maybe later?" I asked on and he nodded.
Oh Marshall those things are all replaceable....
I took his hand in mine and squeezed it once to let him know that I'm here and went into with him into our living room.
Okay, that I didn't expect.....
To be honest I had to keep myself from clutching my hand over my mouth, widen my eyes and gasp loud. The splitters of the vase I'd thrown at the wall were still laying on the ground, he only had pushed them somehow aside.
Why was I so dumb?!?! He could've hurt himself.....
Everywhere were standing empty; at least I thought they are, cans of Red Bull and Diet Coke bottles and then and that was the most painful part, the picture of us that he had given me to my birthday was laying on his pillow on the couch.
"You slept here?" I asked him when I'd turned around to face him and he nodded.
"I couldn't sleep in the bed without you by my side." He admitted quietly and to prevent him and me from crying, I pulled him in my arms and held him tightly.
"You'll never sleep alone anymore, I promise." I told him sincerely and pressed a long kiss on his cheek for reassurance. I honestly hated myself for leaving him like this. I know what he had done was terrible and he probably had deserved that I would never come back again, but I loved this man and I'd left him suffering.
"I'm really sorry Tina..." he started again to apologize and I removed my hands off his back, cupped his face and pulled my head back to look into his eyes.
"Stop it, right there. I forgave you and I'm here, I'm back and I'll never leave you again." I assured him again seriously and he nodded slowly before I kissed him. His arms were already curled around me, but now he was tightening them and was heavily breathing through his nose while my lips didn't leave his. He was so desperate and it hurted physically to see him like this. "Babe, why don't you sit down a bit and I'll clean up?!" I suggested after I'd reluctantly ended the kiss and he shrugged. He was tired and worn out, I could clearly see it, but I also knew; from the way he was holding me, that he didn't want to let me go and so I added on. "And when I'm finished I'll change and then we can maybe watch a movie and order something to eat?!" I smiled a little at him but he still didn't want to give in and so I said the one thing that I hadn't told him since 9 days. "I love you Marshall." His eyes started to tear up immediately and I kissed him again to keep these damn tears in his blue eyes.
"I love you too." He told me and finally I managed to get a small smile.
"C'mon babe, sit down and I'll take care of everything." I tried again and this time he nodded, released me and plopped down on the couch.
I had started with cleaning up the living room and when I'd walked into the kitchen to throw the cans, bottles and shards into the trash, I got the next shock. Empty take out boxes, water bottles and cups and glasses were scattered in the room and so I cleaned that also up.
At least he had eaten....
From there I walked into our bedroom to get changed and there I started crying. My bedside was completely empty; I hadn't realized that it was my pillow and blanket he had slept with on the couch and on his side layed my favorite t-shirt which I was always wearing when I was at home. I took a few deep breaths to calm down, took the shirt and walked into our closet to change.
Over all it had taken me 35 minutes to get our home back to how it was before I'd left and when I walked into our living room and stepped in front of the couch I smiled to myself. Marshall was completely passed out and layed halfway on the couch. I debated shortly with myself if I should wake him up so he could pull off his shoes to lay down completely but then I got an idea, so I turned around and silently left the room again to walk back up into our bedroom.
It took me a little to find what I was looking for but when I'd found it I went back down and after admiring him shortly, I pulled his shoes off carefully and then lifted his legs up to lay them down on the couch.
Damn, I never realized how heavy he is....
"Tina??" He asked me sleepily when I'd covered him with the blanket and I squatted down beside him and pressed a light kiss on his forehead which plastered a smile on his face.
"You gonna stay with me now?" He asked and opened his eyes slowly, turned on his side and looked at me.
"Should I order something to eat first?" I asked back and he nodded. "Italian?" Again he nodded and when I stood up and wanted to get the phone he grabbed my left hand, pulled me quickly down on the couch and in the blink of an eye he had placed me on my back and had crawled on top of me.
"You're wearing it...." he breathed out in disbelief but with a huge smile and I couldn't even answer because he gave me a kiss that almost made me faint. "You're really wearin' it..." he repeated when he finally let me come up for air again and I smiled at him. "I love you so fuckin' much, I've no words..." again he leaned down and kissed me and afterwards wrapped his arms around me and layed his complete bodyweight on me.
"Babe......uhm....." I breathed out and he lifted his head off my shoulder and smirked.
"Hm?"
"You're....." I honestly found it hard to breath now. "A lil heavy..." I got out and his smirk turned in a wide smile, but thankfully he lifted himself up and propped himself up on his elbows.
"Puuuuhhhhh....." I breathed out and he looked down at me, his blue eyes sparkling and he kissed the tip of my nose. "You gonna let me get up now?" I asked and he didn't answer, only looked at me and breathed heavily. "Marshall?" I questioned and he got off me, kneeled between my legs and still didn't answer. "Tell me what you thinking..." I demanded with a soft and quiet voice and without a word he jumped up and walked out of the room.
Uhm..........Hello????????
20 minutes later he walked back in and sat down beside me.
"I took the week off...." he told me and I looked at him surprised.
"But what's with the album?" I asked and he shook his head, pulled me in his arms and kissed me.
"I need to spend time with you. You're more important now." He stated and I smiled at him. Surely it was wonderful that he wanted to spend time with me, but he also had his responsibility's and I didn't want him to leave them aside for me.
"But...." he cutted me off with a kiss and then shook his head.
"No but, I need to spend time with you. I wanna show you what you mean to me. That's what matters now." I nodded to let him know that I understood him and he smiled.
He wasn't lying when he'd said that he wanted to show me what I mean to him. The whole week he'd done everything that came to his mind to show me that he loves me. From making breakfast every morning, buying flowers, inviting me out for dinner; to a wonderful little restaurant he'd rented out and lastly not letting me out of his sight. It felt good to see how much effort he put in our relationship, but what he didn't do was having sex with me. Honestly I didn't know why, normally Marshall couldn't keep his hands off me, but I thought he maybe was afraid that I didn't want him.
How wrong can one man's thoughts be.....
And when it was Friday he surprised me again. At 6 pm he had demanded that I'd get ready because we would go out tonight with the guys from D12 and their wifes/ girlfriends. I was really surprised by that, normally Marshall is a very veeeeeery private person, but maybe he just thought it'd be fun and so I went into my/our closet and searched for what I could wear. In the end I decided for black overknee high heel boots, a black short asymmetric skirt and a simple tight, black, longsleeved shirt.
Time to show him what he's missing out on....
I went into the bathroom, showered, washed, dried and put waves in my hair, applied make-up, eyeliner, mascara and a red mat lipstick and afterwards pulled on jewelry and walked down the staircase to my fiancée.
Hooooly fuck.........
He was standing in the living room and talked on the phone looking hot as fucking hell. Black jeans, for sure a pair of Nike air max, a grey fitted shirt, grey-blue leather jacket and a grey beanie wearing and I was ready to drop to my knees and beg him to have sex with me. From the second I'd entered the room his eyes scanned me up and down repeatedly until he finally ended his phonecall, shoved his cellphone in his jeans pocket and walked slowly towards me.
"You wanna kill me?" He asked and I smirked and shook my head before he placed his hands on my hips and pulled me to his body.
"You look so damn hot, gorgeous...." he said and pressed a kiss on my neck, before he pulled lightly off me, eyed me up and down again and let his hands glide from my hips down to my legs. "Maybe I should cancel!" He stated and started to kiss me passionately while his hands glided under my skirt and pushed it upwards.
Mission accomplished!!!!!!
"I think you shouldn't!" I said with a smile, grabbed his hands to remove them off me and pushed my skirt back down. "You waited so long, now you can hold back a little longer."
"Fuckin' tease..." he muttered and pulled me back to his body. "I don't wanted to rush things, gorgeous. You've no fuckin' idea how hard it was to not touch you." He finally admitted his reason why we hadn't had sex the whole week and I cupped his face with my hands and kissed him tenderly.
"You're such a genius, but sometimes you're so stupid. I love to have sex with you, it's one more way that you show me how much you love and want and need me. You think I wanna miss out on that?" I asked and he smiled and kissed me.
"Later I'm gonna give you what you want, gorgeous....." he assured me and I nodded and bit my bottom lip while he removed his hands off my body and took my hand in his, "but now we'll go out and have some fun." With that we walked side by side out of our home to meet with his/ our friends.