...is what a lot of grumpy old men like to say as they whine and complain as if the Masjid is only meant for them. They use the excuse of little kids being a distraction or playing as if little kids didn't exist in the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) or as if everyone was always so needlessly strict on them. Like okay, if the kid is misbehaving or causing trouble, definitely take him/her outside and such. Teach them proper behavior then bring em back.
But as for just banishing all children 10 and under like some people want, that's stupid and unfair. Those same people who call for that are the angry men who later wonder where the youth is, why teens are out with friends at the movies and not praying at the Masjid. They wonder why the younger generation isn't attached to the Masjid. It's because they weren't given a chance. It's because people misunderstood innocent play and curiosity of young children as the utmost disrespect and shame to the House of Allah.
Again, I'm not calling for people to let their kids run wild at the Masjid or misbehave. But also don't verbally abuse someone else's kid just because he ran inside the Masjid or played around a little. Sheesh.
Now, onto three small incidents that I witnessed going for taraweeh this year.
So, I arrived for Isha at my nearest Masjid and realized I'd forgotten to do wudhu before leaving the house. There were a few little kids playing near the Masjid entrance and once I got past their noise I realized that the imam had already started praying Isha. As I went into the restroom, however, I found another kid, about 12-15 years old, and he was just standing there. Seeing me though, he decided suddenly to go into one of the stalls. So I did wudhu and did a hasty rewrapping of my turban, and just before I finished, the kid flushes the toilet and leaves the restroom. No hands washed, no wudhu. Just gone.
So I finish my turban and find my way out of the restroom without touching that same handle spot he did, and I find that everyone is in ruku' so I just go right into the line and join immediately. Well, guess who the heck I ended up standing next to...
Some old guy. Who else?
Nah just kidding. Idr who was on my left, but to my right was that same kid from the restroom. And it was a little distracting to me that he didn't make wudhu or anything after using the restroom (if he even did, part of me thinks he just went in there to hide tbh), but whatever. Wasn't my prayer potentially being invalid so I didn't care.
Anyways, in the end it turns out we both missed a rak'ah so after the imam does tasleem, we both stand up. But I was immediately distracted by Mr Speedy Gonzalez and his record speed prayer. If he recited Al-Fatiha he must've done it all in half of a breath, and his ruku' was just... Oh man I immediately recalled the hadith about the one who steals from his own prayer. This kid (and remember, he's between ages 12 and 15), literally bent just low enough for his fingers to touch his knees partially and then stood right back up. No lie. No exaggeration. That is what he did. His back was hardly bent at all. And then he had the nerve to literally turn his head and look around to make sure no one saw that. Then he went into sujood and pecked at the ground like a chicken before saying a 5 second tashahhud and making tasleem so he could run away.
Whoever that boy's parents are, they should probably teach him to pray before it's too late. Part of the problem with kids and upholding the commandments of Islam is that often times they aren't fully taught the proper manner of doing them, and another thing is, they aren't taught the importance and value of these deeds. Salah is just an obligation, so they see it as a chore to get over with as fast as possible and in any kind of manner. It's important not to just tell them to pray but to teach them how and why we pray. Make them love it, and they will never leave it.
Anyways, that's kid #1. So, at that same Masjid though, another thing happened. After praying and everything, I got up to go properly rewrap my turban because I knew my hasty job before wasn't going to hold up.
Back into the restroom I went, using the mirror to wrap my turban to perfection. Just as I was finishing up, a little kid, about 4 or 5, comes out of a stall and is about to leave when for whatever he looks at me. So I smiled and whispered to him, "Wash your hands."
And you know what he did?
He washed his hands. Thoroughly too. No argument, no attitude, no "You're not my dad" or whatever. He just respectfully obeyed and went on his way. I was glad and I figured I'd probably see him outside playing with the other kids getting dirty again.
Nope.
Instead, as we started taraweeh and I found my place in line, I ended up standing next to this little kid. Yes, the 4-5 year old. Beside him was his father, of course, but the kid was well behaved. He didn't play around, he didn't move unnecessarily or look about, the only times he was looking around was when he checked his dad's movements to make sure he was doing it right. And after we did one set, the boy looks to his father and raises six fingers telling him how much more to pray.
Then after we finished four, the boy asked if they could go but the dad told him just four more and he said okay and quietly prayed the rest. Didn't huff, whine, throw a fit, or get impatient. He prayed and obeyed.
I don't know this kid or his parents, but I must say I was impressed with him, especially in comparion to kid #1 and even some kids I do happen to know personally. His parents are doing something right it seems. May Allah bless them and him and make him the coolness of their eyes and bring him up to be a pious servant to his Lord and an obedient child to his parents. Ameen.
This last incident occured at a different Masjid on a later night. It actually occured the night I initially began writing this very post, before saving it to drafts where it remained until now as I write to complete it while sitting in the kitchen as the sun rises.
This one is shorter by the way, but anyways, so we're praying taraweeh and everyone is in sujood. There's total silence, until suddenly a little baby (idk how old, I couldn't see obviously) comes in and just says:
"Ow wan pway."
And then there's a little noise as, I imagine, he drops down to join us in sujood lol. So that's that. Then on the second rak'ah though, we're heading back into sujood. Total silence again.
Until he decides, "I talka daddy."
And Idk how but he got ahold of someone's phone and dials a number with the phone on speaker. So a man answers and the kid shuts up. We're in sujood so we're silent too. And the man is just on the other end like, "Hello? Hello? Hellooo? Hello? Hello?......Hello?"
Then I guess he hung up. So after we finished praying, I turned around and could just see a man rushing out of the room carrying a baby with a head of loose, light-brown curls.
And okay, for whatever reason, my mind won't let me rest without including a fourth incident which I didn't plan to mention, but at this same Masjid a couple of nights ago, I was leaving out from taraweeh and there was a little girl telling her dad about someone holding a snake. Blah. Then I was walking and talking to a friend when we came upon the basketball court where the youth director was yelling at a group of kids (various ages, and even one adult) as they tried to circle him and some of them were speaking back in threatening tones as if they were going to jump him.
Now, I'm not the biggest fan of this guy, let's call him Waleed, but we don't really have any personal disputes either. However, I do know some of the kids, especially the main ones threatening him; our parents are friends and I'm friends with one of their older brothers (oh btw the one adult was another of their brothers but idk him). Anyways, I stopped talking and began listening in because if they tried to do anything I was going to intervene, but I wanted to hear both sides of the story.
Unfortunately one quick accusation some people at that Masjid have whenever they need to defend themselves or make someone else look bad is to claim racism. (Even more unfortunate is the fact that there actually is a lot of racism and nationalism that goes on there, but that's beside the point). Plus, it's easy for a story to get distorted when there are tons of kids on one side and a single adult on the other, people have faced charges here because of some baaaaaaaaad kid making a big mess and then crying abuse abuse when someone reprimands them. So again, I wanted to be a witness to whatever happened so that if either side lied or transgressed against the other, I could speak up.
From what I gathered, Waleed was yelling at the kids because one of them, "Jr," had kicked a basketball at the school building and wasn't really respecting Masjid property. This was after Waleed came to investigate which kid was holding a snake and chasing little girls with it to scare them.
But rather than the guilty kid (and idk who it was) fessing up about chasing the girl, all of the kids started acting foolish and disrespectful (hence Jr kicking the basketball away). So Waleed is talking to them (I know I said yelling but really it was just raising his voice because they were arguing and talking over him) and they're just being defiant for no reason. So he demands they hand over all remaining basketballs and leave the court. He says they're done playing for the night and can either go inside the Masjid and pray some more or go home. At first they refuse, and Jr's brother replies that one of the balls is their personal property from home. Waleed still insists and says, "I will give it to your father then."
Jr walks away and climbs the fence into the preschool playground area. Then shortly after he throws the basketball (that he'd kicked at the school) back over and yells, "are you happy now?!"
Then Waleed still orders everyone off. The one adult doesn't argue and he leaves with like 2 of his brothers. Waleed then goes and shuts off the lights over the court. So the rest of the kids decide to stand around in defiance and rebellion just out of spite. Not playing, just to show, "You're not the boss of me."
So then my companion, "Salim," and I begin to have a discussion about the matter. He believed Waleed was to strict. I disagreed, because I know how these children are. He argues that kids will be kids and they're just having fun.
Keep in mind, I began writing the beginning of this very post nights before this incident. So I was feeling like I'm now arguing counter to my first point. But in truth, I'm all for bringing kids to the Masjid and even letting them have fun and come to love the place. However, they need to be taught to respect the Masjid and the associated property and members. They need to be taught how to behave and treat others, children or adults. And they need to know that there boundaries. There's a difference between childish innocence which led to kid #3 calling his dad while we prayed or the little kids in scenario 2 playing tag at the Masjid door, and kid #1 hiding in the bathroom when it's time to pray, or Jr and his group almost trying to fight an adult because he's questioning them about harassing a little kid. And then to defiantly disobey just out of spite, just for the sake of disobeying. Smh.
So we argued for literally 47 minutes, and it went all over the place. From me giving analogies and citing the Quran, the American legal system, and just common sense logic, we debated up until it was time to head out. I argued for the sake of justice. He argued for the sake of pranks and kids being kids. I argued in defense of the little girl. He argued in defense of the kids against Waleed because he felt Waleed was hypocritical due to his past (which I will not mention).
In the end, we didn't resolve it that night but there was no actual anger or ARGUMENT. Just debate I should say. And I confused so many bystanders with my analogies and comparisons lol. For example, one thing went as severe as rape and rape victims, to another one which included rabbit poop and cocoa-puffs cereal lol.
Anyways, the next day Salim texted me and said he sees my point and agrees with what I said. So that was that.
And those are the four experiences I've had with children at the Masjid so far. Would it make me say not to allow children anymore? No. Does it make me wish more parents knew how to do their jobs? Absolutely. But the Masjid is the House of Allah, it is open for all His guests, AND IT NEEDS TO BE RESPECTED.
As always, thank you all for reading, don't forget to vote and comment your thoughts down below. If you've had any experiences this year (or others) that you'd like to share, feel free to do so, I'm always curious. Anyways (someone should count how many times I've said "Anyways" and "So" in this chapter)
As-Salaamu 'Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh
-El Hijo Del Desierto