"We have to get him to a hospital so they can pump his stomach!" I ordered through a tone weighed by tears. But even I heard the hopelessness in my words. We weren't close enough. By the time we reached the hospital Ace would be ... he'll be ...
Creston pushed around me, reaching for Ace. He wrapped one arm around Ace's back and another under his knees, then lifted Ace into the air. Ace groaned, his face twisting in pain. He was still black and blue with bruises, and he never went to the hospital after his fight with Vic and Roman. I didn't doubt the pastor's abilities but Ace needed a licensed practitioner. Someone to look at the gunshot wound in his shoulder.
"Careful." I reminded, racing after Creston as he bolted through the house and out towards the car. His movements were slow due to carrying Ace but I've never seen anyone move so fast.
Working through the growing pain in my stomach, I passed Creston to jerk the door open just as he began loading Ace into the passenger side. I climbed in after him and braced Ace's body against my own to keep him still. His skin was slick, his eyes fluttered rapidly, and his jaw hung slack. He looked dead ... could he be ...
No. No! I couldn't think like that right now. We have to get him to a hospital and my morbid thoughts wouldn't help. I waited impatiently as Creston ran around his truck to the driver's side before he gunned the engine and peeled out of Ace's driveway.
"Hold him tightly." Creston warned as the speedometer breached eighty miles an hour, then ninety. Still it climbed, brushing past numbers as though there weren't a barrier. Creston's truck whined loudly under the weight of this speed, it wasn't meant to go so fast. But Creston had faith in it, so must I. He glanced towards Ace every few seconds, each time becoming more distraught at the sight of his friend.
My attention turned to Ace as well. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, gripping his face in my hands as I whispered, "Hold on, okay? I stayed for you, now you have to stay for me."
My pleads got no answer, only a moan of pain as we hit a bump and my elbow jabbed at his shoulder. The blood was so dark against the stark white of that gauze, so thick and unrelenting. Had the pastor treated Ace entirely or simply just wrapped him up and gave him some pain medication? Was it ludicrous to fear that maybe it wasn't only the amount of medication in his system that was killing him, but the bullet wound as well?
He was so pale, so weak. I've never seen him like this, even when I lay there dying. Even when Vic and Roman were torturing him, he never gave up. But now, laying in my arms like his, he looked as though he'd already lost.
I can't lose him now, not after everything. Not after we just won. I came back for him. I left my mother and the possibility of eternal bliss to face a mortal lifetime of heart complications, for him. It was all for him. We were suppose to live together, start a family, someday tell our children how awesome their parents were and how we kicked ass on a day neither of us would soon forget.
How could I do that if Ace was dead? More tears entered my eyes and slipped down my cheeks. What could I do? How could I help?
"Gen."
The breath of a word slipped from Ace's mouth, no louder than a summer breeze. Still his eyes remained closed, still his pulse weakened, but through it all he was thinking of me. I placed my head against his, willing him to feel me beside him, to hold on until we reached the hospital. The chances were slim, but so were the chances of Ace and I finding one another after ten years.
But we did.
So were the chances of me coming back from the dead not once, but twice.
But I did.
Barren Valley was making freaking miracles happen all over the place, and this would be no different. This miracle would be the last.
"You're going to make it. Do you hear me? You're going to be fine." I whispered back to him, holding him so tightly that I may have suffocated him. My eyes stung and I ran my fingers over his bruises, over his cuts. His figure was blurred by tears as they dripped onto his cheek and into his hair, but through it all I smiled, "Have I ever lied to you before?"
No witty comeback, no smirk. No eye contact. All the things I loved most about Ace were hidden away. His bright smile, that heart melting dimple, those gorgeous stormy eyes. All that remained was a vacant body on the brink of oblivion.
I sniffled loudly, "Creston, drive faster."
He obeyed without further incentive. The truck lurched forward, breaking all speed limits. We flew through Barren Valley, ignoring the red lights meant for us. Other cars skidded but no one was hurt. However, our reckless driving caught the eye of a police officer stalling nearby.
Red and blue lights flashed behind us as the siren wailed, a warning to pull over. I looked to Creston, "Maybe he can help."
Creston's hands tightened on the steering wheel until his knuckles were white, "I'm not stopping this truck until we're sitting in front of the hospital."
There was no point in arguing, and I secretly wished the same thing. So the truck sped on, chased by a lonely police officer the entire way to the hospital. Though only a few minutes must have passed, it felt like hours. Ace continued to deteriorate before my very eyes. His breaths turned shallow, his body falling relatively slack in my grasp.
Was this what it felt like for him to hold me while I died in his arms?
"Creston ..." I started though my voice gave out.
Creston was breathing harder too, focusing on the road so intently that his face was strained. He looked down at Ace, back to the road, down at Ace, back to the road, "I can't go much faster but we're almost there."
Still, he pressed down on the accelerator. It didn't do much, as he said the truck was near it's top speed, but it made us both feel better. The hospital peaked the horizon, then neared as we flew down the road. Creston wasted no time with parking. He pulled up to the emergency entrance, honking his horn wildly as we skidded to a stop.
Creston jumped from the truck but I smiled down at Ace's barely breathing figure, "We're here. You're going to be fine." That phrase was losing significance but it was the only thing I could think of to say, "You're going to be fine, I promise."
Nurses ran from the hospital entrance at the commotion. They tore the door open, demanding answers as they ripped Ace from my arms and placed him on a gurney.
"Overdose." I managed to squeak, my hand now holding my stomach tightly as I too was ushered from the truck, "He overdosed."
The nurses rolled Ace inside, then he vanished from my sight. Through the growing crowd around me, I searched for Creston and found him at the back of his truck. Laying facedown on the asphalt, his arms cuffed behind him. I started towards him, already spewing an explanation towards the officer who was radioing his partners but Creston met my gaze.
With a winded but relieved smile, he shook his head and mouthed, go inside.
I tried to help but the nurses were far too worried to let me leave. Apparently, news of my escape had reached all ears of the hospital. Somewhere inside, Jason and grandma were losing their minds, rightfully so.
I was forced inside and soon taken right back to my room where the series of tubes and needles were reinserted into my arms. Doctors came in to check on me, others could be seen running down the halls. I could only hope they were running towards Ace, to help him.
Once the doctors had me tucked into my bed, pumped full of pain medication, and chided me for such reckless behavior, they allowed my family in. Jason and grandma needed no further encouragement. They entered the room at a sprint and didn't stop until they were holding me.
Grandma was crying, Jason was close.
"That's it, I'm moving you to a maximum security mental institution!" Jason told me, squeezing me tightly, "My hair is going gray over worrying about you. Seriously, pipsqueak, I'm at my wits end here."
I answered him with a smile and snuggled deeper into his hug, "I think ... it's over."
"Knock on wood." Grandma prayed. She tucked my hair behind my ears as a fond smile played over her weathered face, "I'm so glad you're alright, darlin'. These past few weeks 'ave been rough but when they brought you in ... I've never been so worried in my entire life."
Guilt ate at me, "I'm sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen."
Grandma nodded, "I know, baby. What's important is that you're still with us, and we'll only be plannin' one funeral instead of more."
That brought me back to the dire topic at hand. I gulped down my anxieties, "Can I ask you two for a favor?" When they nodded, it took me a minute to continue, "The reason I left earlier was to find Ace ..." Just say it, even though saying it makes it real, "We found him at his house. He overdosed."
Grandma's hand shot to her mouth and Jason straightened, "Is he okay?"
"I don't know." I confessed, no longer trying to hide my concerns, "They brought him in but no one has said anything. Could you guys ... could you find out if he's okay? I need to know."
Jason nodded, "Of course, sis. I'll go hassle some nurses about his whereabouts." He cracked a grin meant to provide relief but I wouldn't feel at peace until I knew for sure that Ace was alright.
I graced him with my attempts at a smile before he dashed for the door, concern written plainly across his face. My brother may talk a good game but he'd never be able to hate Ace. Even after all the blame Jason placed on Ace for my injuries, the three of us were too close to harbor true hatred.
Grandma patted my non-casted arm, "I'll get you some water, maybe some toast. I hate to admit it but this place ain't got food like ma' kitchen does. As soon as we get back, I'm makin' a feast and everyone is gonna sit their fannies down in ma' chairs and we gonna send a prayer to that man up above who is lookin' out for my grandbabies."
I nodded, "And looking out for Ace."
She smiled, "Ace is my grandbaby too, dear." She started for the door but stopped just before reaching them, "He's going to be okay, honey. That boy is tougher than rock and as stubborn as a mule. He'll pull through, I'm sure of it."
Again, I nodded to her words though I couldn't say I believed them. Too much has gone wrong for me to have blind faith, maybe once upon a time her reassurance would have been enough but not now. Not after everything we've been through. She was gone a moment later and I relished in finally being alone. I sat there in silence and darkness, watching the sun set over Nevada.
Who would have thought I'd be in this position. Ten years after the most traumatic moment of my life, I find myself half dead. The boy I never thought I'd see again, who I now love more deeply that I ever could have imagined, was laying somewhere in this hospital, possibly dead. A girl who previously hated my guts now healed just next door because she broke her leg saving me. The most loyal friend one could ever ask for was most likely handcuffed somewhere after racing to the hospital to save a man we both loved. And an innocent man had been killed.
Just thinking of it all brought on a headache. How had everything gone so wrong, so quickly?
With only my thoughts plaguing me, I waited. I waited for news of Ace's condition, for hours, but Jason didn't return, grandma didn't either. At first, I managed to convince myself it was because they were caught up somewhere but with each passing moment, I began to realize why they weren't coming back.
Ace was dead.
That must be the void I felt in my heart. It was the only explanation. Why else would grandma and Jason not return right away? They knew how important he was to me, how vital it was that I know whether he lived or not. So why make me wait?
Because he was dead. We didn't get to him in time.
To make matters worse, it was my fault. I suppose one could blame Vic because it was he who shot me, killed me, which caused Ace's decision. But I should have held on longer. I was so ready to let go of this life, so ready to let go of all the pain and the lies and the fear, that I didn't second guess the matter of my death.
When that shadow appeared, I was more than ready to accept what I thought was inevitable. I took the easy way out. A cowardly move. Ace would have held on, he would have fought through bullet wounds and broken bones to stay by my side. But I gave up.
If I had held on, just a few moments more, maybe everything would be different. Maybe Ace would be sitting beside me while I recovered instead of being admitted here as well.
A growing habit of mine, asking what if.
What if I hadn't given up? What if I had gotten to Bobby sooner? What if I never came back to Barren Valley?
It was a habit I needed to break. Dwelling in the past wouldn't solve anything. Bobby's death was wrong and tragic, as was mine. But I came back, I was given that second chance to save Ace as I promised Bobby I would. I couldn't rewrite history, Bobby was gone. But I could build a better future by moving forward.
No matter how painful it might be.
Between getting shot, dying, coming back to life, racing across town and then right back again, I must have grown quite tired. Laying in that hospital room, buried under blankets and pillows, I found it surprisingly easy to sleep. No dreams, no nightmares as I feared there might be. Instead, there was only sweet darkness. Not the same absolute darkness I floated through while dead, this darkness was cold and heavy. Normally, the cold and heavy darkness was the kind to fear.
But for now, it reminded me that I was alive.
When I woke up next the sun had long since set, and grandma and Jason were both back in the room, eating watery eggs from the cafeteria. I sat up straighter to signal my family, and they both turned to look at me.
"Is he dead?" I asked before either of them could speak. I rubbed at my eyes to see them clearly, was that sadness I saw or relief? I couldn't tell. What if it was sadness, what would I do if Ace was indeed dead? It was a topic I hadn't let myself consider. I licked my lips nervously, reaching for my brother as he moved to sit beside me, "Jason, Is he dead?"
I waited impatiently for him to set his food down and take place near my hip. He sat in silence for almost a full minute, I counted the seconds as they ticked by. Eventually a long sigh passed through his lips and I prepared myself for the worst.
But when his eyes met mine, I saw that they weren't sad. They were calm, "He's alive, Gen." My mouth fell open but my heart soared with joy at hearing those words. Jason finally smiled and gave a little laugh, "Sorry to make you worry, they were still treating him when I found him. I didn't want to give you any news before I knew for sure. The last thing you need right now is false hope."
Speaking of falsities-
"Will you take me to him?" I questioned, already flipping the blankets off my legs before either of them could answer.
Grandma was at my side in seconds, "He's still recoverin', honey. Why don't you just get some more rest and we'll take you to see him later?"
"I can rest when I'm dead." I blurted before I could catch myself. I saw Jason flinch and grandma's face dropped, "I'm sorry. Poor choice of words. But I'm fine, I promise. I just want to see him, to be sure."
Grandma gave a hearty chuckle before she shook her head in disbelief, her greying braid slapping the sides of her neck with the sharp movement, "Well I guess there ain't no sense in arguin'. As long as you're up for the visit."
"Of course I am."
"And you promise you'll tell us if you start feeling weak?" Jason stated his terms rather bluntly, "The doctor said your stitches were almost completely torn when they brought you back in. If you let it get that far again ..."
"I promise." I answered when his voice trailed off. He was worried, as any older brother would be.
With that said, grandma and Jason helped me to my feet and led me out of the room and down the hall. Jason held one arm while grandma braced the other. I found it harder to walk than before, my feet were clumsy and cold. Nonetheless, grandma and Jason walked me down the hall to the elevator. We went down two floors to emergency care.
Seeing those words, bolded in red, made me queasy.
Glass doors slid open, allowing the three of us to pass. I was pulled past a long line of beds, each one separated from the other only by a thin curtain.
As we started towards the back, I felt my heart flipping in my chest. My stomach throbbed uncomfortably but only because I couldn't be more eager to see Ace. Though grandma and Jason were most likely telling the truth, I couldn't accept it until I saw him. With my own two eyes.
Only one bed was left, blocked from my view by a sheet of all things. My body buzzed with an anxious giddiness I've felt only few times before. Like the first time Ace kissed me, and the second, and the third.
Jason reached forward, grabbing the sheet, then threw it sideways.
A deep breath rocked through my body, then came out in one long, slow exhale.
He lay there, on the bed. Ace. His shirt was still missing, giving harsh insight to the ever darkening bruises, especially around his shoulder. But the bandage over his bullet wound had been changed and wasn't nearly as dark with blood. His skin was a sickly pale, and extremely dark purple bags hung under his eyes. His hair was slick from sweat but was brushed away from his face.
His chest rose and fell with deep, slow movements.
He was alive.
My legs almost gave out again, nearly buckling under the realization that he would live. That we both would live. Grandma smiled at me, patting my arm in comfort, "Last time we saw him, he had tubes comin' out his mouth. He looks so much better, must mean he's healin'."
"Yeah, he's doing much better." Another voice sounded. My eyes diverted from Ace's body toward the female sitting in the corner.
It was Melinda.
Her wild hair had been tamed into a tight bun and her robe had been discarded for a mere t-shirt and cotton pants. She looked much better than the last time I saw her, much healthier. I glanced towards Ace, then back at her, confused.
Melinda noticed and rose from her seat, her hands up as if to show she had no ulterior motives, "I'm not here to cause trouble. I've become really good friends with one of the nurses in ER and she told me Ace was here. I convinced her to bring me down here to see him." She looked back to him and I saw her eyes brighten, "He's so different than the last time I saw him."
"He's recovering." I told her as if she weren't standing in the room, witnessing the same broken man that I was.
Melinda nodded towards my hospital gown, "It appears you are too. You left so quickly last time that I didn't get to ask what you were so upset about. Then a nurse informed me that apparently I have a daughter I was unaware of."
My cheeks went red with blush, "It was the only way they'd let me in to see you."
"It's quite alright, I would have done the same thing." Melinda informed with a sheepish grin, "Are you okay?"
I nodded.
"Do I want to know what happened?" Melinda continued.
Grandma stepped forward before I could answer, "It's a long story but I can fill you in over a cup of coffee if you'd like."
Melinda looked towards grandma and I saw her eyes widen, "Maggie? Is that you?"
Grandma nodded, "In the flesh, sweetpea."
Melinda stood still as stone for a long time, eyeing my grandmother as if she could pass judgment over her actions, "I haven't seen you in ages. How have you been?"
Grandma looked her over and I could practically see the horror in her eyes, "Better than you darlin'. Have you been eatin' properly?"
"You were always so kind, even after everything I did." Melinda smiled but it was sad, "It's good to know some things never change." She paused for a moment, "I suppose an explanation would be nice." Just before she left, Melinda stopped to look at me, "Do you think he'll want to see me when he wakes up?"
Ace was pretty upset when he found out I spoke with his mother, and we never had a chance to talk about it afterwards. For all I knew, Ace still hated his mother for what happened during his childhood. But I couldn't be sure. Either way, it wasn't my decision to make so I only gave her a shrug in hopes that was enough for now.
Melinda nodded, she must have guessed as much. Nonetheless she gave me a small smile as she followed after grandma, "I'm glad he has you. I know I really screwed things up all those years ago but I'm glad it wasn't enough to come between," She gestured to her son and I, "this."
With Melinda now gone, there was no one standing between me and Ace. I stumbled forward, reaching for Ace's bed to hold myself up. But I couldn't stop there, not when I was so close. I pulled myself onto the bed, to sit beside him and curl up against his body. To finally feel him, to touch him and know that he was alive.
That we were both alright.
Jason backed away then ushered the curtain closed once more to give us some privacy.
Shaking fingers fell on his cheek, tracing the parameters of his face, starting at his temple and tickling down to his jaw. God, he was gorgeous, even now. Covered in bruises, kissed by death, but still so unbelievably beautiful.
I flattened my palm against his cheek, "Wake up." I whispered, rubbing my thumb over his cheek to coax him out of sleep.
He didn't react.
"Open your eyes." I breathed again, sending out a prayer to my mother to bring him back to me.
His mouth parted, taking in raspy breaths. I let him come out of it in his own time but when his eyes rolled opened, excruciatingly slow, and I saw those beautiful irises that I loved so much, I almost couldn't contain myself. He looked towards the ceiling, his eyes open but not seeing. His head swayed on the pillow, he must be dizzy. But nothing broke my heart more than the murky look to his eyes, as if even though he was living, he was dead inside.
I took both his cheeks in mine now, steadying him as I drew his gaze back towards me. Our eyes met and held but his face remained blank, lost in a daze. Lost in whatever world he traveled to while unconscious. I bit my tongue to keep myself from crying and tried again, "Ace, look at me. Really look at me."
He blinked several times, as if my words made his confusion worse. Still he hadn't recognized me, still he didn't realize the enormity of this situation. He didn't realize how close we'd come to losing one another. My hands tightened on his face further and I willed my love into him through my touch, "Please, Ace. Remember."
No sooner had my words stopped, Ace's eyes widened, "Gen?" His voice was rough, deep and rumbling just as I remembered. I nodded, almost too quickly, pulling myself even closer if that were possible. His hands lifted, they were weak and shaking, but he let his grip fall on my arms as he curled those calloused hands around my biceps. His eyes raked down my body in several quick motions, checking to see if I was still in one piece before his gaze flicked back towards mine, now baffled beyond explanation. Hot air rushed from his lungs in a fast release, "You're ... alive?"
Ignoring his question, I jumped into his arms, holding him tighter than I ever have before. Right now, words couldn't explain this, but my touch would be enough to convince him that I was real and not some well portrayed illusion. Still he was confused but that didn't stop his arms from coming around me in a bone crushing embrace. I buried my face into his neck, desperately trying to keep the tears from my eyes. His face was in my hair, breathing me in with each rapid breath he took. Though he almost died only hours ago, his grip on me was unimaginably strong.
He shivered, or maybe it was me. It didn't matter. He pulled back only far enough to see my face. He cupped my cheeks, his fingers fanning across the surface of my skin as though they sought to touch every inch. His gaze combed over me again, concerned that maybe his eyes were lying to him. His thumbs pressed against the skin just under my lips and his eyebrows dipped low, "I don't understand ... how?"
A smile captured my face, "I'll tell you later."
Then I pushed him down, and we were kissing. Our brief affections have always been amazing but this one was breathtaking. Literally. The way his mouth moved ravenously over mine stole the very air from my lungs. His hands slipped over my hips, nails biting into my skin. But just as quick his hands were in my hair, tangling and pulling just enough to cause pleasurable pain to sprout across the surface of my scalp.
Our bodies moved together, his hips pressing into my own in a way I've never felt before. But a way I needed more of. His touch left sparks along my skin and his lips skillfully moved against mine in a way I'd never master, just enough to allow his tongue entrance. And my hands were on his bare chest, clawing at his skin with a passion that started in my core and burned through the rest of my body. A desperate need to get closer to him washed over me. I needed more. So much more.
However, it was him who pulled away. He was gasping for air though he didn't let me go far. Still his grip tightened further in my hair and when I looked up at him with flushed cheeks and a pounding heart, I saw that he was in awe. Shocked to silence.
"What's wrong?" I asked in a panic, looking over his body to be sure I hadn't harmed him more than he already was.
His eyes danced brightly as his mouth gaped open, that gaze skimming every inch of my face with a look so fond that it made my heart sore, "I thought ... I thought I'd never see you again."
"And killing yourself seemed like the only rational solution?" I practically shrieked at him. I whacked his arm, harder than I intended, "How could you do that? Are you insane?!"
A profound chuckle sounded from him as he let his head fall back on the pillows, "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
I grabbed his jaw and forced his eyes back to meet mine, "This isn't a joke."
His eyes sobered at the terror in mine and he brought me in for another tight, protective embrace, "I know."
"Then why?"
"Can you blame me?" The look of wonder strewn across his face had my heart racing, "I thought you were dead. And Bobby was dead, and Ginger was dead." He paused, his voice going hoarse again but whether that was from sadness or from illness, I'd never know. With my head resting on his chest, I rose and fell as he took in a large breath meant to calm even though I still felt the rapid beating of his heart below my cheek, "I was alone. And every time I thought of you ... it hurt. Everything hurt."
I pressed into him, "I wouldn't have left you."
Ace gave a wavering sigh, "You died in my arms, Gen. I watched it happen and I couldn't do a thing to stop it." He took a moment to breath, "I swear, I didn't mean to take so many pills. I only took a few at first but they weren't helping. So I took a few more. I didn't even realized I had taken them all until I was sitting on the floor. But at that point ..." He couldn't finish that thought, "I know I should have called someone but it was so easy to just sit there."
How could I be mad at him when I was guilty of the same thing? It was far too easy for me to go with the shadow, just as it was easy for Ace to let the pills take him. I pulled away to stare at him, "Don't you ever do something like that again, do you understand me mister?"
His signature smirk returned, although it was weakened and frail, "Only if you promise me the same thing."
My eyes narrowed, "You took those pills, you decided that. I didn't shoot myself."
Pain washed over him, not from overdosing or the bullet wound or the bruises. This pain came from somewhere much deeper, "I shouldn't have told you to go."
"What?"
His fingers played with the hem of my hospital gown, gently tugging on it as if to pull me closer. But even when I came to rest right beside him, practically on top of him, still it wasn't close enough. We both wanted more, I could feel it and I know he did too.
"When I was holding you and you were ... when you were ..." But he couldn't finish that thought either, "I shouldn't have told you to close your eyes, I should have forced you to stay. But you were in so much pain and there was so much blood. It broke me to see you like that." He shook his head, more angry with himself than with me. But when his eyes drifted back up to meet mine, I saw how truly broken he had indeed become, "I'm sorry, Genevieve."
I brushed my fingers over his jaw, my eyes darting between his, "I'm only going to say this once, Ace Hunt. And you're going to listen to me because I'm giving you no other option. This wasn't your fault. Everything that happened, with Bobby, with Ginger, and with me, was because of those two vile human beings and your devil of a father."
"But-"
"Nope. I don't want to hear it."
His hands tightened around me, pulling me even closer as he graced my forehead with a lingering kiss, "You're too good for me."
I melted into him, "I know."
We fell asleep like that, clinging to each other as if our existence depended on it. For a while, it had. Ace would have died if I hadn't come back. So my decision went on without regret. But that led to another long line of problems still waiting to be faced.
I haven't told him about everything yet, about my mother and the sickness she told of. It will be a long conversation with a lot of questions that I probably won't be able to answer but that would be for another time. A time when we didn't have funerals to plan and loved ones to bury and healing to do. A time when I could look Ace in the eye and know for sure that I wasn't going to lose him.
For right now, I just wanted to lay beside him, hold him in my arms, and never let him go.
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Another chapter for all my darlings! I hope everyone likes it because I could have made it end a lot worse but I chose not to because I think I've put you all through enough :)
But we're in the home stretch so hold onto your socks!
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Thanks again lovelies!
xoxo