The problem with their early morning practices was that they ended a half an hour before the school actually opened, so they had nothing to do for that time. Most of the time the entire team would walk to the school and sit on the picnic tables that made up the outdoor launching space. Today when they went, Ezra didn't follow.
Francis turned, eyeing Ezra who was absently playing with his soccer ball, holding it on his foot and kicking it into the air before catching it with his other, not allowing it to hit the ground. "Ezra," Francis began, his voice hard, and Ezra didn't look up unti Spencer began talking.
"I'm going to stay back with him," Spence said, stepping between Ezra and Francis as if the latter was planning on lunging it him. Ezra kicked the soccer ball up again.
"He's not staying," Francis said through gritted teeth, glaring at Spencer and Ezra was disinterested in what was happening in front of him. Normally he would have a say in the argument, since it was him they were debating, but these days he just didn't seem to care about his outcome.
"We are,' Spencer claimed, and Ezra dropped his eyes just as he felt Francis's on his face.Eventually he heard a huff and the sound of angry footsteps as one of them walked away. When he looked up only Spencer remained and he smiled at him.
The weekend had been hard for Ezra. Normally he would have spent the weekend with Adrian, but he had dumped him, and before Adrian, he would spend his weekends with Spencer, who was angry at him for dumping Adrian. It was a complex situation and it annoyed Ezra greatly, especially since Spencer wasn't immediately siding with him in this situation. This is why it was particularly surprising that Spencer wanted to speak to him.
"I thought you didn't like me anymore," Ezra mumbled to his best friend, who snorted at this.
"Didn't like you?" He asked. "Ezra, you're my best friend". Ezra shrugged, letting the soccer ball fall to the ground and trapping it under his foot.
"Lose the love of my life and my best friend in the same week? I don't see why it couldn't happen," Ezra commented, and then he groaned loudly.
"You call him the love of your life," Spencer said softly and Ezra nodded.
"I've been trying not to do that. I've been trying to convince myself that I hate him but when I'm not really thinking about it the truth comes out". It was the most honest he had been with himself since him and Adrian had broken up, and it actually made him feel a bit better. Spencer sighed, looking him up and down for a moment.
"I'm worried about him," The blonde said quietly and Ezra blinked. "I talked to him the other day-" Spencer cut off as Ezra looked at him eagerly, "he wasn't... himself". Ezra closed his eyes.
"I'm worried too, Spence," he said, his voice cracking and he turned his head away from his best friend for a moment before he regained his composure.
"You're a great guy to be in love with, Ezra," Spencer said, and he was looking at him so intensely that it almost felt like he was trying to confess something to him. "Far better than me".
Ezra recalled their conversation in the hallway the passed friday. "But what about you doing anything for... him". Spencer grinned and tilted his head back towards the morning sky.
"Caught that, did you," he said and Ezra nodded slowly, even though the boy wasn't looking at him. "I'm trying to do anything for him but the one thing he actually wants is extremely difficult for me to do". Spencer looked back down at him and he seemed both nervous and sad, "but it was easy for you".
"What?" Ezra asked, sounding a bit defensive since nothing with this whole situation with Adrian seemed easy so far. "Breaking his heart?"
Spencer shook his head. "Telling people".
"It wasn't easy," Ezra admitted, glancing over to the school where there team was sitting. "And look where it's gotten me".
"The difference between you and me is that I would have made a different decision. Maybe that says one thing about how I feel, or maybe it tells you about my poor soccer skills," they both chuckled. "Or at least I'd like to think I'd make a different choice. Liam told me that wasn't fair since I haven't actually done the first part, which is actually coming out, yet". Ezra hummed.
"You told Liam that you were gay before me?" He asked and Spencer furrowed his eyebrows. "How come he gets to know? Has he met your boyfriend yet- why are you laughing?" Spencer had thrown his head back to laugh and Ezra narrowed his eyes. "Dude, we've been friends since we were in preschool and you tell him before you tell me- ohmygod you're dating Liam". It all made sense and Spencer's face slit into a huge smile.
"Of course, you idiot," he said, and Ezra's eyebrows shot up..
"So all those nights you told me you were hanging out with Liam instead of me-"
"We were going on dates," Spencer said as Ezra continued with:
"You were betraying the bros before hoes rule?" It was quiet for a split second and then Spencer laughed once more
"I guess you could say that". He looked so happy that it made Ezra miss Adrian so much he felt sick. "But he's just about as much as a bro as you are". Ezra snorted at this.
"So your unwavering virginity?" Ezra asked and Spencer grinned at him with very white teeth.
"Wavered a long time ago, man".
"Have you two just always been dating?" He asked. They had met Liam in seventh grade and Spencer and him had been friends since then. Spencer shook his head.
"It's only been the last three years".
"Only three years," Ezra repeated, and he was a little hurt that his best friend had been in a relationship with someone, a boy, for the past three years and was just now telling him about it. "But what about the time at the beginning of this year when you two stopped being friends?" Ezra suspected he already knew the answer.
Spencer inhaled a sharp breath. "We broke up for a bit". Ezra wanted to know why, but it seemed like a sensitive topic so he didn't ask. Luckily, Spencer knew him enough that he knew he would want to know, and trusted him enough to tell him. "You were actually part of the reason why we broke up". Ezra felt his eyes widen.
"Why would I be..." It drew on him, "don't tell me he thought-" Spencer nodded and Ezra grimaced. "Why would he think-" Spencer shrugged, "but we don't even-"
"I know, man".
"That's sick," Ezra said and Spencer nodded. The idea of being anything more than best friends with Spencer was about as unappealing as... as.... He couldn't even think of anything that bad. That's how horrible of an idea it was.
"That's not the only reason, of course. Liam came out the week we started dating- though a lot of people had already heard the rumors about him losing his virginity to what's his fucking name about a week into being freshman. He was already so comfortable with his sexuality and didn't care who knew about it or not". Ezra remembered that day. He had been surprised by the news, but mostly because it confirmed the rumor about how Liam had lost his virginity and that seemed uncharacteristic for the boy.
Spencer, he recalled, had been nervous the entire day. It all made sense. "I was so nervous to come out, and felt like I had to since he did, but he said it was okay and he understood. One point late in sophomore year I was about to and the Kyle Hendrick and Jacob Lamay stuff started and I was afraid that people would treat me like they treated Liam".
"Is that why you got into that fight?" Ezra asked. Sophomore year, Spencer had randomly walked up and punched Kyle Hendrick in the face, and then ran away like a bitch until the other eventually caught up to him. Surprisingly, Spencer had quite easily won that fight, and it was then that it was revealed that Kyle Hendrick was big, but didn't move very fast. He could also be taken down with a simple kick to the shin, and was stupid enough to believe stupid lies like, quick, look over there. The only injury that was inflicted upon Spencer in that fight was a punch to the gut that was delivered as Spencer broke down in a fit of laughter after Hendrick freaked out because Spencer told him there was a spider on him to distract him.
"Yeah!" Spencer said, smiling fondly at the memory of the boy who had graduated the year before. "He was always calling Liam names, which he could handle on his own, but one day I saw a bruise around his wrist that looked suspiciously like a handprint and that wasn't really cool with me". Spencer was still smiling, but his eyes flashed with anger suddenly. "Anyways, Liam wanted someone who he could act like a couple with in public, and I just wasn't ready to do that with him".
"But you are now?" Ezra asked, and not it was Spencer who looked back at the team.
"I thought I was. I'm going to, eventually, but after you did I think I need to take a little more time". Spencer's shoulders dropped sadly. "I want to give him what he wants, you know?"
And Ezra did know. "Yeah". His voice was small and Spencer blinked.
"You and Adrian are supposed to be together. You get that, right?" Once again, Ezra did know, but this time he didn't admit it.
Instead, he bent forward and picked up the soccer ball and glanced back to the school. The entire team was rising from the picnic tables and were pushing into the lunchroom doors. "Let's go, Spencer".
***
They were still talking about Spencer's relationship when they got to their language arts class, and Ezra's mind had been taken off of Adrian for long enough that he forgot he would have to see the boy in this class. When the nerves finally hit him, Spencer gently bumped his shoulder. "We're going to figure something out, Ez," he said, and his voice was reassuring.
They took seats in the back today, next to where Francis and Landon were already seated. Francis didn't even acknowledge the fact that they had taken their seats, while Landon grinned at them. "Practice went really well today. If I was on the Valley team I'd be nervous to play us tomorrow," he said, and Ezra felt his spirits lifting. Tomorrow, he would be able to make up for last year.
Over the next ten minutes people began filtering into the classroom until there was one person left missing. When the door opened, Ezra immediately knew who it was, not only because he wasn't there already, but because Spencer's face changed immediately.
Ezra watched his best friend's mouth part in shock for a second, and he wanted to turn around and look at the boy that he loved but couldn't bare to. That changed the second Spencer's eyes focused on his, holding an expression that could only be one of worry and he said then, "Ezra".
Ezra caught Francis's eye and the other's eyes were telling him not to turn.
He turned.
Adrian was looking ahead as he slowly walked to his seat in the front, trying to hide a limp and failing miserably. His face was covered in bruises so dark that they looked black, and his left eye was swollen shut. There was a cut across his lower lip and Ezra wanted nothing more than to kiss it. His hands curled into fists and he turned to Spencer. "Spence," he pleaded, but he didn't know for what. "I can't..." he felt helpless and Spencer nodded.
"I know," he said softly, and they both watched Adrian slowly lower himself into his seat. Ezra winced, almost feeling the boy's pain.
Since Adrian had come along, Ezra had actually begun to pay attention in language arts. He found he enjoyed the subject and had lots to say about it.
He didn't pay attention today.
For the entire lesson his eyes stayed on Adrian's beaten face, and the longer he looked at it, the angrier he got. When the bell rang, Ezra was so lost in staring at the boy that he wasn't packed to leave. Determined to find out who did it, he knew he would have to talk Adrian, and wanted to as soon as possible. Adrian hurried out of the classroom and Ezra rushed to shove everything into his bag.
Spencer called his name as he left, and after a moment he felt his best friend at his side, keeping pace with him as he followed Adrian through the halls.
Oz, along with Helen, but Ezra really only focused on the black haired boy who was hugging his boyfriend. Osmond was waiting at Adrian's locker and immediately wrapped his arms around him. Helen, who was not distracted by something that wasn't hers scowled when she saw Ezra and Spencer approaching. Adrian turned out of Oz's grip when Helen leaned over and whispered something in his ear, and he looked at the two of them blankly.
From this close, Adrian's face looked even worse, still beautiful, but discolored and unnatural, and Ezra's blood boiled. His voice came out harsh. "Who did this to you?"
Adrian looked at Helen, and then the freshman, and then back at Ezra's face. The words that left his lips hurt more that they should have. "Fuck you".
Adrian turned away, grabbing Oz's arm and pulling him away through the hall. Helen turned to go with them, but Ezra was fast, reaching out and wrapping a hand around he wrist.
"Tell me who did it," Ezra demanded and Helen glared him down, unafraid as most people would be.
"Why do you fucking care!" SHe snapped. "You've done enough". She tried to pull away but Ezra pulled her closer, growling.
"Helen, I'm not asking".
"I'd just tell him if I were you," Spencer advised and Ezra's hand tightened on her. Now she looked relatively afraid.
"It was some kid name Caleb... Caleb umm... Higgins or something like that," she said, and Ezra dropped her waist. She pulled it back quickly and rubbed it.
Caleb fucking Higgins. A name that Ezra knew too well.
"Ez," Spencer said.
"Why's he making that face?" Helen asked and Ezra scowled.
"Does he go to Valley Falls?" He growled and Helen looked alarmed at the tone of his voice.
"I don't kn-" She cut off, "Well he did live in that area".
Ezra growled loudly once more and turned around, walking away. He could still hear them talking behind him.
"What was that about?" Helen's voice asked.
"Caleb Higgens is on the soccer team," Spence said, "and Ezra already wants to kill him".