Scorpius stabbed at his potatoes in frustration. He was more than a bit concerned as to why Professor Granger wasn't in the Great Hall for dinner. He always found her presence rather calming, watching her dab at her mouth delicately with her napkin. She had the table manners of a baby deer. And also she was just so great to look at.
He prayed to the gods above that her absence had nothing to do with his father's sudden appearance in the castle while he forcefully prodded at the roast beef on his plate.
"Alright there, mate?" Albus Potter inquired.
"Hm?"
"You're a bit broody. You look like your dad when he's forced to interact with my dad."
Scorpius scoffed. "Do not bring up my dad."
Monica Flint, a Slytherin girl in the same year as Scorpius and Albus spoke up. "What about your dad, Scorpius?"
"Nothing."
Monica smirked. "I'd so do him."
Scorpius groaned. "So you've said, Mon. Multiple times. As has just about every other girl in our year."
Monica shrugged her shoulders. "He's fit."
Scorpius and Albus rolled their eyes. Scorpius spoke. "I'm in no mood to hear about how fit my dad is."
Another Slytherin boy, Simon Jenkins raised an eyebrow and inquired, "Are you ever, mate?"
"No I'm not ever in the bloody mood to hear how fit my bloody father is. That's disgusting. He's my dad!"
Simon and Monica raised their eyebrows and returned their gaze to their food.
Albus, who seldom felt awkwardness in social situations, spoke candidly. "You know, Scorp, perhaps I'm absolutely fucking stupid for imagining it, but it seems like you're rather upset about something...I don't know...maybe to do with your dad. What happened? Did you guys have a fight or something?"
Scorpius sighed. "No we didn't fight. We never fight. It's just that...you've never seen my dad be...I don't know...awkward around a woman before have you?"
Albus answered. "No, that's you. You're the awkward one."
Scorpius rolled his eyes.
Albus continued. "Your dad on the other hand is a master at chatting up birds. Has them eating out of his hand. And he never even seems to care." Albus shook his head in awe. "Bloody inspiring."
"Exactly. Women like my dad. He just never seems to like them back."
Albus squinted his eyes. "And this bothers youuu....why? In the market for a new mummy? Or maybe he's just bent. Another daddy perhaps?" This earned a snigger from Simon.
Scorpius rolled his eyes. "Don't be a prat, Al. My dad's not bent. In fact, I just saw...I don't know. He showed up here today to talk to McGonagall about some total bollocks thing to do with the armchairs in our Common Room and...I don't know. I saw him with Professor Granger, and—"
"FIT," Simon interjected.
Scorpius scoffed. "Yeah. I know. She's bloody fit. Just like my dad apparently." He shoved his food away from him. "Seeing him around her...I don't know. I got the feeling he thinks she's fit too."
Albus snorted. "Doubt that. They hated each other in school."
"Then why did I see him today outside her office with his hands on her tits?"
Albus and Simon dropped their forks, their mouths opening into wide "O's".
Simon spoke, "You think your dad's shagging Professor Granger?"
Scorpius looked horrified at the thought. "Ugh! Simon that is bloody disturbing! No fucking way is my dad shagging Professor Granger! Don't ever say that again." He shook himself. "He said that he had spilled her tea and was just trying to clean it up or something."
"Total bollocks, that is." Albus insisted.
Scorpius seethed. "Thank you, Al."
"I'm just saying, if you saw him grabbing her tits, he was probably just...grabbing her tits."
"Didn't you just say that they hated each other?"
"Rose hates you. You think she'd let you grab her tits?"
"No."
"Well then I've made my point."
Scorpius sighed. "My dad did tell me that Professor Granger was absolutely off limits."
Simon shrugged. "Probably because he's shagging her."
Monica rolled her eyes. "You think everybody's shagging everybody. And Professor Granger is off limits because she's a teacher. Don't know why you all think the sun rises and sets out her arse anyway."
Simon gazed off into the distance, a goofy grin on his face. "She does have a spectacular arse."
Albus contributed, "And a smashing rack."
All three boys nodded.
Monica rolled her eyes and grimaced. "Isn't she like...your godmother or something, Al?"
Albus shrugged. "Yeah, but she never really seemed to like me much."
Monica narrowed her eyes. "Probably because you're always perving on her."
Albus put his hand on his chest in a gesture of false offense. "I beg your pardon. Scorpius is the one writing her dirty letters." The three Slytherins sniggered.
Scorpius rolled his eyes. "She's nice to me. It's not my fault I misread the signs."
Simon shook his head and grinned. "Mate, she's a professor. She's nice to everyone. You just misinterpreted it because you're a wanker whose dad's shagging the bird you fancy." More sniggers.
Scorpius grimaced and stood up from the table. "You lot are the actual worst."
As Scorpius made his way to the dungeons he wondered if his friends were right. Was his father shagging the woman he, Scorpius, loved?
Surely not. He would know if his dad were involved with someone. They never kept things from each other. No. His father was just embarrassed around Professor Granger because his son fancied her.
But then where had Professor Granger been that evening?
_________________________________________
"You're lying." Hermione narrowed her eyes and took a sip of her wine.
Draco laughed. "Why would I do something like that? I promised to be a gentleman tonight, did I not?"
"You cannot sit there and tell me that Severus Snape put on a puppet show with your stuffed animals for your fifth birthday party."
Draco raised a hand to his heart. "With voices and everything."
Hermione raised her eyebrows. "I wish I had known this in school. It would have made him seem less...murdery."
Draco laughed. "He was not 'murdery'. He was actually an excellent godfather."
"Better than I am a godmother I'm certain. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have favorites."
Draco smirked. "I'd bet Scorpius's inheritance that Albus Potter isn't one of them."
Hermione bit her lip. Draco shifted in his seat. Merlin I won't be able to keep up this gentleman rouse very long if she keeps doing that.
"Albus has his moments. But overall, he's a tad..."
"Creepy? Surly? Smart-alecky?"
Hermione grinned. "I forgot you're well acquainted with him."
Draco nodded, smirking. "He and Scorpius are quite close. And Albus is really not so bad once you spend some time with him. He's quite funny actually...in an odd...almost unbearably awkward sort of way."
Hermione giggled. "He fits in quite well in Slytherin, that's for sure."
Draco scoffed in a mockery of offense. "Certainly that's meant to be a compliment."
Hermione smirked. "Merely an observation. His...particular brand of social skills works quite well in the snake pit."
"Indeed. Although considering your recent treatment by the Malfoy boys, I'm not certain that's saying much for Slytherin social skills."
Hermione laughed. "Scorpius has been a perfect gentleman since the incident. His father, on the other hand..." she tsked and took a sip of her wine.
Draco grimaced in embarrassment. "Yes, I'm aware it's customary for most people to at least wait until after the first date before making it to second base."
Hermione bit her lip. "So...that's what this is then? A date?"
Draco almost didn't hear the question. His attention was rather fixed upon her bottom lip caught in her teeth. Stop staring at her like one of your son's snot-nosed little chums.
Draco collected himself. "Was that not obvious? Perhaps I'm more out of practice in asking a woman out than I thought."
Hermione grinned and dabbed her mouth with her napkin. Draco amusedly watched her. She's quite cute when she eats.
"Just checking. A part of me isn't entirely convinced that this is a good idea."
Draco scrunched his eyebrows. "Because my son is one of your students or because it's...you and me?"
"The former. Also considering the recent...incident."
Draco chuckled softly. "I'm certain my son will forgive me for trying to 'steal his woman' so to speak. And as for this," he motioned between them, "there's no rule against it."
Hermione quirked an eyebrow. "How did you kn—"
"I've checked. That's how much of an idiot I am."
Hermione smiled bashfully.
Draco grinned at her. "There's nothing wrong in it. And if you somehow suffer a bout of insanity and agree to go out with me again after tonight...we can be discreet."
Hermione grinned. "I can do discreet."