And so time lurched on. I was grounded for a while, as a punishment of leaving the house. I kept up my studies, I emailed my brother once in awhile. But it was different. It was funny how much a few months could change you.
I was different from the overly cocky boy who compensated the lack of love in his life with a superior attitude. When I used to look in the mirror, I saw the boy who could snap his fingers and get every girl pleading for more. Now I saw the flaws in my face; the way my eyes were slightly different shades. I saw how my nostrils flared when I got mad, I saw the signs of weight loss from the loose sleeves.
I wasn't happy. But then, maybe I had never been... Happy. I had been acting that way, keeping up a facade and for who? An absent mother? A father who I barely saw? A brother who didn't care?
But it didn't need to destroy me, like it had done with Adri. I saw the similarities between us two, I saw how she had lost everything from family to friends. I couldn't let the same thing happen to me.
Fixing someone did not mean you had to destroy yourself.
I had gone straight into the shards of glass that was Adri Walker and I had cut myself wide open. Funnily enough Adri seemed to have pulled herself together, and now I was the person sitting alone at lunch.
She was still living with her father and still hadn't spoken to me. She visited the hospital but made sure she was ten minutes gone before I arrived. It was hard, and my heart seemed to be beating off rhythm.
But I was still standing. I figured this was my rock bottom, and funnily enough it cheered me up. I had screwed up so often and so much, I couldn't really do any worse to myself. Although the ground I was sitting on was jagged and gray, there was a sky of smooth blue staring up at me.
Christmas was nearing and it meant I would be visiting my mother and Gus. I wasn't looking forward to the prospect, but because I knew Ms Walkers health was declining rapidly, I was staying cheery.
I wanted to do something for Ms Walker. She had done so much for me, and I felt like I owed her something. The trouble was, I couldn't figure what to give her. I didn't want to be in England and Christmas without having left a spectacular goodbye.
I wanted to give her something so if she passed whilst I left... She would have a good death (if there even was such a thing).
***
It was a ridiculous idea. I knew it was. The very thing was borderline offensive, and Adri would despise me. But if it worked... Then I would make Ms Walker incredibly happy.
I pushed in the USB stick and opened the file.
"I really shouldn't be here." Adri said tauntly, her eyes narrowed at me.
I ignored her and so did Ms Walker. She was propped up against some pillows, her face the same color as the ghastly white. I tried to focus on her smile instead, tried to see past the disease.
The projector I had borrowed (stolen) from school shone a bright picture on the wall. It was Ms. Walker, of course. But it was a photograph of her as a younger woman, with a big pregnant belly. She had a huge smile on her face, her light brown hair waving to her shoulders.
Below the photo stood: The Life of Ms Anne Justine Walker
Everyone frowned at me, but it refused to acknowledge them. Instead I looked at Ms Walkers deep blue eyes, and I allowed myself to find comfort in then. Her eyes were strikingly similar to Adri's, but her eyes were not wild raging oceans. They were closer to a calm smooth water which sparkled in sunlight.
"Ms Walker was born in 1972," I said and then moved the projector on.
Now there was a smiling baby cuddling with an older sibling. You could recognize that is was her by the shape and shade of her eyes- it seemed to be a Walker family trait.
"Her father was a security officer and her mother stayed home with the kids. Ms Walker grew up in Chicago and she was a bright student. All her reports were filled with a's and b's. The only criticism was that she could be boyish."
The next photo of Ms Walker came up. She was tipping a bucket of sand all over her play date. Everyone laughed, especially Ms Walker as she babbled excitedly about their small apartment. I paused for a moment, letting her add in her own details. Adri listened intently to the story of how the sandbox was right on the corner of their block and how she'd walked by to get to school. She got up extra early just to play in it.
"Now onto the rebellious years... I'm talking about the four years that is high school."
Here was a photo of Ms Walker as a teenager. Her light brown hair was puffed up considerably, her lips brightly outlined in lip liner. She was wearing a tartan skirt which came up to her knee and one of those pink jackets. I would never understand fashion in the eighties.
"Oh my god, mom," Adri cringed.
"That's your mother, alright," Vincent smirked and Ms Walker blushed and giggled.
I quickly moved on, sensing Adri would not like the flirtation going on.
"Ms Walker- or as her high-school peers called her- Anne the Radical-" I had to break off, because even I was laughing. Radical was definitely the worst eighties slang, aside from bitchin'. I mean c'mon... Rad I could understand, but radical?
I supposed I just wasn't gnarly.
"God mom," Adri snorted.
"Shush, you just don't understand tubular I was."
We all laughed again and I moved on to the next slide.
There was Ms Walker again, this time clutching onto a real puffed up muscle guy. He was pink skinned, with hazel eyes and short blonde hair.
"Oh goodness, it's Buster!"
"Buster? Isn't that what they name dogs?" Vincent remarked drily.
Ms Walker rolled her eyes and turned to me and Adri, "Vince has always been jealous of good old Buster."
Adri just wrinkled her nose at the sight of the muscled Buster. I smiled before I could stop myself: I was happy to know she preferred my lean muscle to the giant muscle bag her mother has swooned for.
"Buster was Ms Walkers on and off relationship throughout the four years. He was a football player and she was a cheerleader. Sadly they ended it when Buster had to repeat senior year whereas Ms Walker got into college."
"He wasn't the brightest bulb," Ms Walker remarked.
Adri shook her head, feeling second hand embarrassment. I clicked onto the next slide, happy they all seemed to be enjoying the PowerPoint.
"Here she met Vincent," I pointed at the photo of Adri's dad and Ms Walker.
They looked super in love. Vincent was clutching her to his chest, his brown hair shining in the sunlight. Her blue eyes were filled with affection, her lips parted as if she was angling for a kiss. It was funny to know that even those couples who seemed unbreakable did not withstand time.
There were no more laughs so I quickly went on.
"After leaving college and completing a degree in biology, Ms Walker got a job as a research scientist. Vincent settled in at his job and three months after graduation, they got married."
It was a zoomed in photo of Ms Walker. Her dress had shoulder padding, and it wasn't exactly the most beautiful outfit but she still looked stunning. Adri and her had a striking resemblance in that photo. Both of them had those curly lashes, and beautiful blue eyes. Ms Walker looked radiant and so happy. I wondered what Adri would look like with a genuine smile like that.
"You look so pretty," Adri cooed, grinning at her mom.
"She was definitely the belle. All those men were jealous of me," Vincent boasted.
Ms Walker blushed, and told me to move to the next slide. I gave her a thumbs up and moved on.
"Ms Walker worked for several years and they travelled to all kinds of exotic places; their favorite being Iceland. However after a few years of difficulty, Vincent and Ms Walker found out they were expecting."
A photograph was beamed up of Vincent kneeling down, his head pressed against Ms Walkers round pregnant stomach. They had been painting a nursery, wearing overalls and having paint splatters all over their faces.
"You'd just kicked me and your daddy was trying to feel it," smiled Ms Walker.
"Feisty even then," Vincent remarked and reached over to squeeze her hand.
To my utmost surprise, she let him and even smirked back at her dad. I cleared my throat, irked by their interaction and moved on.
"Ms Walker then dedicated her time to raising Adrienne Walker, and she did a damn good job."
A photo of Ms Walker playing with Adri came up. It was a bunch of Barbie dolls, dressed in pink and yellow dresses. Adri had a few teeth missing and she was smiling wider than I'd ever seen before. She had been adorable little kid.
"Here, here," Vincent said, agreeing with me.
"Thanks, mom," Adri said suddenly, her eyes bright.
"For what, hun?"
"Everything."
And then Adri began to cry, pressing her face into her mothers bony shoulder. Vincent's lip quivered, beggining to get emotional as he saw how distressed his daughter was. Ms Walker began to cry as well, but she was smiling through the tears.
"You're the best thing in my life, Adrienne. I love you so much, everyone does. If you could only love yourself half as much as we did, you'd be a hell of a lot happier," Ms Walker kissed her soft hair, letting her daughter hang on to her ravaged body.
Ms Walker was weak in all the forms of the word. She was alive because of a few machines, and nothing more. But as Adri cried, she became strong once more. She was a proud lioness, taking care of her cub.
"I can't live without you, mommy," she mumbled, her voice coming out as a pathetic little whisper.
I knew Adri hated her very public breakdown, but I thought it was only good. All these things which she had held on so tightly were finally loosening. Nothing would make Ms Walkers passing bearable, but clinging onto her problems had made it so much harder. She deserved to be happy.
***
I left. But I knew I had done the Walker family some good for a change, so I left with a smile. I didn't have to let Adri break my ego into pieces to save her. I had to bring her closer to her parents.
As I was walking down the corridor, I heard rapid footsteps behind me. I turned round and Adri crashed straight into me. We both fell onto our butts and I started to snort with laughter. Adri looked like a cat with wounded pride. It was equally sad as hilarious.
"Jerk,," she muttered.
"You crashed into me," I smirked, standing up.
I tried to help her up, but she was swatted my hand away and did it herself. So stubborn, I thought.
"I just... Thank you," she told me.
"Don't mention it," I said and turned round again.
This time, she took my arm and swung me round so I was looking at her. Our faces were really close, our noses almost touching.
Very gently, she kissed me. Taken by surprise, I pulled back for a moment. She raised her eyebrows and pulled be back down to her level. The kiss deepened and I got the soaring feeling I always got when she kissed me. I let my hands roam through her long hair, feeling the silky strands.
Then she pushed me away.
"That was my thank you. Now we're even," she smirked.
****
Sorry for the long wait!!!!