"You're so cute," Helen said, pinching his cheeks and he giggled. "I love seeing you happy like this, babe".
"I love being happy like this," Adrian admitted, stretching his legs out across his bed, though they didn't reach the end. "We've only been together for what... three weeks? Four? I don't know, not long, but I'm so... so..."
"Yes?" Helen encouraged, dropping down onto the bed next to him and staring at his ceiling.
"I'm so in love, Helen". His best friend gasped dramatically and he chuckled at her reaction. "It's true, Helen. I love him. He makes me so happy that my face hurts from smiling, even when he's not around. I just love him, and I want to tell him".
"My baby is all grown up," she said, and when he looked at her she was wiping away fake tears and he rolled onto his side to look at her. "Adrian, I'm so happy that you found someone. What David did to you was unfair, and you deserved so much better than that".
Adrian grimaced at the reminded of David. Though everything with Ezra was going, well, perfectly, what had happened with the older man was still extremely upsetting to him and he tried not to think about it as much as possible.
At the moment, it was easy to push the thought back by simply reminding himself that Ezra would be coming over soon.
Once again, happiness filled him and he was able to focus back on his conversation with his best friend.
"Helen," he said, his voice cautious as he slowly grinned, "you're sounding a little too nice for the bitch you are. Quick, say something mean!"
"Umm...," she said, her eyes widening as she held the note. "Adrian, your happiness has ruined my bitchiness!" She snapped and Adrian burst out laughing.
"Good," he said, "you were too harsh anyways".
"I was not," she laughed, and Adrian rolled his eyes.
"You told me yesterday that I was automatically less attractive because I'm asian and asian boys don't do it for you," Adrian said and Helen grinned at his words.
"I was joking. You're a cutie". He rolled his eyes but leaned his head against her shoulder. "I'd like to get to know Ezra better, if that's okay?" she asked softly and Adrian smiled.
"I'd love for you two to get along". They were the two most important people in his life, the fact that Helen wasn't a fan of Ezra's was troublesome, and he'd like for it to be different. "He's going to the college in town". Helen pushed herself up onto her elbows and looked down at him. He thought she would say something about how he was thinking far ahead for a three week relationship, or something out that could possibly make him doubt himself, but then he could defend this with I love him. Instead, she was once again a bitch.
"He got into college?" She asked, sounding shocked and Adrian hit her shoulder.
He knew that Ezra wasn't the smartest person in the world but he wasn't stupid. Not at all. He understood things much better than most people Adrian knew. And, he had learned, he was very good at language arts.
"He did," Adrian said, and Helen turned to him, raising her perfect eyebrows.
"Soccer?" She asked, and Adrian hummed thoughtfully, thinking about how the soccer field was directly outside of the band room and how after school, when he was practicing, he would look out of the window there and swoon at his boyfriend's amazing talent in the sport that he adored. The game against Valley Falls was next week already, and Adrian couldn't wait to watch Ezra play.
"Yeah," he said, smiling and Helen gagged.
"Ew, Adrian. Stop looking so in love," she accused, "it's disgusting".
"You're just jealous," he pointed out, and it was probably true. Helen was always dating boy after boy, looking for the one who would make her feel special and loved, but that has yet to come for Helen. "Don't worry El, we'll find him".
"I don't need your help," she said softly, "I'm really not too worried about it". Adrian raised his eyebrows and she grinned. "I mean, look at me. I'm hot".
He laughed at her. "I'd agree, but I know you wouldn't believe me since I'm gay and all".
This had been a constant argument between the two of them. Helen didn't understand that even though he was gay, he could still acknowledge attractive girls. It was like one girl thinking another was pretty, and not being lesbians. It wasn't that hard.
But Helen's argument was always, ,"what do you know, you like dick," and it was annoying to him.
"Correct," she aggreee. She was still awkwardly sitting at the end of his bed, and it looked like she couldn't make up her mind if she wanted to stand, or lay back. She dropped back. "Lets not talk about boys, yeah?"
What else was there to talk about in the world? "Um, okay, yeah," Adrian said, flipping himself around in bed so he could kick his legs up onto the wall. "What are we going to talk about then?"
There was a long moment of silence as Helen thought. "Saxophone. Let's talk about saxophone". Frankly, Adrian was sick of talking about the saxophone, but he didn't say this to her.
"Saxophone is fine". It was. Helen's eyebrows raised.
"That's all you have to say?" Adrian nodded. "You usually go on for hours and hours about it, and all you have to say is that it's fine?"
"Well," he began, "it used to be the best thing in my life, so yeah, I had lots to say about it. But it's not really anymore. Ezra is". A look came onto Helen's face and he spoke before she could comment. "No, Ezra has not made me hate the saxophone or anything, it's not like that. I'm still just as passionate about it, I just have something else that I'd rather be thinking about".
"Well, sound like you're passionate then. You're boring me".
Adrian sighed. "It's going really well. I've wanted to play this piece my entire life, and I've been practicing it for the last year. It was obviously good enough for me to go to state, but I just want to impress people, to show them how hard I've worked". Helen nodded as if she understood completely, which she didn't.
Helen wasn't exactly what you would call a hard worker. Either she didn't try, or things just came easy to her. Work wasn't in her vocabulary.
"When is state, by the way?" She asked, "you never told me".
"You're coming?" he asked. He didn't think anyone was going to be there.
She scoffed. "Of course".
"Well it's next week," he paused, "I think, maybe the week after. Thanks for coming and supporting me. You'll probably be the only one there". His parents were not attending.
"Speaking of supporting people, are we going to the game this year?"
"I thought we aren't supposed to be talking about boys".
"We're not," Helen claimed, "We are talking about a game that boys, including your boy just happens to be in".
"Ahh. I see. Well I am going, this year". They hadn't the year previous since Adrian at the time was uncomfortable with a certain tall boy on their soccer team who liked to glare at him a lot. This year was clearly different since that same boy happened to be the one he was fucking on an almost daily basis.
"Going where?" This was his mother standing in his door way. Helen and Adrian exchanged a quick look, and then Adrian kicked off the wall, flipped around and sat up so he was facing the woman.
"Nowhere, mom". She didn't look at all interested, so he figured she'd let it go. "Why are you in my room?"
"Your father and I are going out, and I want her to go home. She's not even supposed to be there in the first place". Adrian looked down at Helen and she rolled her eyes.
"Lady, I can-" She began but Adrian interrupted.
"Can Ezra come over?" He asked quickly. Helen looked rather insulted while his mother's eyebrows shot up and she smiled.
"Of course!" She exclaimed. "I really like that boy. Tell him hello for us". She turned to leave the room and then glanced back over her shoulder. "We're leaving in two minutes. I expect her to be gone by then".
His mother slammed the door behind her. "I think you're the only person they hate more than me," Adrian claimed and Helen stood from his bed and walked across the room to slide into her shoes.
"She has no idea you're fucking him, does she?"
"Correct". Helen sighed, looking around his room once before walking over to him and pressing a soft kiss on his forehead. "I'm really sorry, El".
"It's not your fault your mom's a bitch". She grinned somewhat evilly, "you're literally a son of a bitch". He laughed but pointed at his door.
"Get out".
Adrian was alone for less than an hour before there was a knock at his front door. He went to answer it, pushing his calculus book off of his lap and throwing a random piece of paper in it to hold his place.
The second he answered the door, he could tell there was something off. Ezra seemed distant, his eyes unfocused as he stared into the house behind Adrian. "Are you going to come in, or just stand there?" Adrian asked quietly, and Ezra's green eyes flickered down to his face. The older studied him for a long second and cleared his throat, stepping into the living room. Adrian slowly shut the door. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Ezra said, his voice lacking any emotion and Adrian looked up at the expressionless face for a moment longer before dropping onto his couch. He wanted to touch Ezra, to tell him he loved him. To kiss his face and his hands, but Ezra was so guarded that Adrian feared rejection.
"Well," he began, "how'd it go?"
Ezra had gone to talk to his soccer team after school to finally tell them about their relationship. Adrian didn't care if they knew or not, but he could tell it was important to Ezra that they did.
"Adrian, I want to break up". The words just hung in the air between them, and Adrian didn't know what to say, so he said nothing. It took Ezra a while to realize this, but he eventually began speaking, addressing the young boy who was just staring up at him. "I told them, and we talked about it, and they helped me to realise that... that this isn't me. It's not who I am. I'm not gay, Ad-" Ezra's voice broke off, as if saying his name inflicted pain upon him. He recovered quickly, clearing his throat as if the moment never happened. "I was just in it for the sex. There's no emotions here. I'm sorry that I'm realizing this now, but I don't want to be with you anymore".
Ezra was just looking down at him, his face completely blank, and Adrian looked right back. He wasn't sure what his face looked like, but it must not have been satisfying to Ezra since he suddenly looked completely decomposed and broken as he whispered, "say something," with a weak voice. Adrian was afraid that his voice would betray him, so he once again remained silent.
That action seemed to be louder than words for Ezra, since he turned around and practically ran out of the house, slamming the door behind him and leaving Adrian with his thoughts.
He could only think one thing, and said it to the space where the boy had been standing a second ago. "But I love you". And he was right. His voice had betrayed him, cracking and shaking, and the reality of it all forced hot tears out of his eyes.
He felt so foolish, thinking that it could actually work; thinking that Ezra was actually gay and actually interested.
His phone was in his pocket and he took it out, his fingers hovering over his key pad.
It would be embarrassing to call Helen, especially since he had practically spent the last three hours gushing to the girl about how in love he was with this perfect boy who had just broken his heart.
He called Osmond and the boy picked up on the third ring. "Hello?" the sound of the younger's voice had more tears leaving his eyes, picking up pace until he was full out sobbing. "Adrian?" the other boy sounded alarmed.
"I need you".