The journey to the Citadel was uneventful - he had bid adieu to his mother, saluting her in the airlock, embracing her one last time with promises to cook her dinner once he'd got the Citadel apartment sorted, that'd he'd be back without a fleet of mind-flaying spaceships next time he came to visit.
He spent the voyage going over reports of rebuilds, Spectre requisitions and numbers (via Kaidan) and looking through the various newsfeeds. He had yet to receive a reply, but after the revelations of that unpleasant evening he wasn't surprised. He hid his pain well, but he knew all too well that feeling of grief, how it was an abyss you walked along carefully. He had considered an explanation in detail - how the Alliance had hidden his survival whilst he was in a coma, how he had tried contacting the fleet, but that the comm buoys were so saturated. But logic wasn't really a factor in this.
They were two days into the journey, waiting for a relay to spin into activation, whilst Shepard was training. Down in the hangar bay, he railed against a punch-bag, trying to favour his injured leg, to build up strength. Miranda watched nearby, checking readings on a data-pad. Vega was leaning against the weapon bench, watching carefully. Miranda had sighed and approached the Admiral, who continued railing against the sandbag.
"Shepard."
Thud. Thud thud. Thud thud thud.
"Shepard… hello?"
Thudthudthud. Thud. Thudthudthudthud.
"Shepard!"
THUD - the sandbag snapped from its restraint and split, spilling the contents across the hangar bay. At the back Steve Cortez, shuttle pilot in residence groaned as yet another chore for the day reared its head. Shepard, breathing heavily, turned a wincing gaze on Miranda.
"Yes, Lawson?"
"You need to ease up. I know we said constant physical therapy is a must, but you're pushing your knee too hard, not to mention your scapula. Tear that again and it'll strain your right arm too much," she sighed and shook her head, "I hope Chakwas is right about those supplies at the Citadel - we may need to replace the whole leg."
Shepard blinked in surprise, "What?"
Miranda had the good grace to appear awkward, but she was soon businesslike again, "It's the joint - the cybernetics there haven't just fused, they've fragmented. It's wearing at the bone. And the meshing is too deep - we can't replace it. Looks like you'll either have to slow down or we're looking at a replacement sooner rather than later. We can clone you a limb, Admiral, but it may take months. We need to cool down on the therapy."
Shepard limped over to a crate at the edge of the ad hoc gym and sank onto it. He nodded his thanks as Vega tossed him a towel, which he draped across his shoulders. Easing his left leg out slowly, he grimaced.
"I want to argue with you Miranda. But yeah, it's not brilliant. News keeps getting better - no active duty for me. Desks and paperwork. Universe loves throwing me curveballs.
A cloned leg though…?"
"We wouldn't be cloning a whole body of spares, Shepard, just the limb. We definitely do not want a repeat of the last cloning debacle."
"Yeah, the Citadel sounds damaged enough. Plus don't need you and Jack getting into another near catfight. Traynor'd rip her a new one," Vega barked a laugh and Shepard allowed himself a smug smirk as Miranda blushed, "How is that going anyway?"
"None of your business, Admiral. If you had forgotten, I'm not Alliance, so it isn't fraternisation."
"So, pretty serious then."
Lawson sighed, shifting her weight onto one hip and tilting her head with pursed lips. Shepard grinned again.
"Doesn't work on me - not British. Glad to see the Commonwealth nations forming a good partnership though."
Grunting he got to his feet, just as the tannoy sounded. Joker's voice came across with an update:
"Admiral, we're passing through the Relay, eta in Widow System 10 minutes."
Shepard sighed, "Great, slow down so I get a chance to drag my crippled form to the cockpit."
"Welcome to my world Admiral!" crowed the pilot before shutting the comm. Shepard mumbled a few unsavoury comments and retrieved his cane, managing a steady pace to the lift, Miranda following like a fussing mother hen. Vega watched them go and sighed, turning back to weapon cleaning. He heard Steve approach and turned back again. The man was watching the elevator doors.
"What's up with the Admiral?"
"What, you didn't know his leg was busted? Damn amigo I don't want you flying me again if your eyesight is that bad."
Cortez shot him a withering look.
"Not that, Vega. He looks… broken. His eyes. Like he's going through the motions. I mean, it's great having him back, but last time I saw him like this was just after Tuchanka."
"A chica, amigo. Bad times. My fault, kinda dropped it on him. Just gotten from bad to worse. But he'll keep going. Hell if I know how he does it. I'd have emptied Afterlife by now."
"What, Vega - you getting all misty eyed and heartbroken?"
"Can it Esteban. I got a romantic soul!"
"Really? What, hoping to get some resale value out of an unused product?"
Vega snorted and turned back to the bench.
Shepard whistled under his breath as he watched the once grand Citadel drift into view through the nebula. It was humbling and horrifying at the same time. The five Ward arms were a shattered remnant of their former immense size: several fragmented pieces held together by vast scaffolding arms and interlaced structures.
The Presidium ring was three unfinished curves, similarly held together. The Council tower was half the size, a broken reminder of that day. The last day of the war.
"Where're we docking Joker?"
"Presidium hasn't got much working yet, I hear. We're heading to our old Ward bay. Still intact."
Shepard saw the fleets as they drew closer, gathered around like a swarm. His military senses tingled as he observed the formations. He drew a slow breath.
"They're formed against each other…"
Miranda, standing next to him, arched an eyebrow. Joker exhaled slowly, looking up at the Admiral.
"Yeah - but look at the formations - Geth and Quarian lined up with Alliance ships, Krogan and Turian vessels in a defensive sphere… the Asari and Salarians have got their own fleets above a ward each."
"Marking territories already. Great. Who's pointing what at who?"
EDI chimed in at that point, "The Alliance and Quarian fleets are watching the Asari. The Turians and Krogan are more focused on the Salarians. The Geth are evenly spaced between the Presidium and ward arms. Civilian traffic is flowing as normal."
"So the synthetics are doing a better job of peacekeeping than the Council races. Brilliant. What about remnants?"
"No other races have fleets present in enough numbers to validate a threat to any party."
"OK, so it'll just be the biggest, nastiest idiots fighting it out," Shepard pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, "Fantastic."
The dock hissed open revealing a relatively clear concourse - the Citadel still hadn't fully repopulated: too many bad memories about the place. According to extranet reports, Keeper activity was reduced or simply non-existent in places. Slowly he made his way off the vessel, Kaidan, Liara and Miranda a respectful, but nervous distance behind him. Part of him was grateful, yet another part of him railed at his fragility. He noticed a certain hush and glanced up at the higher tiers of the neighbouring concourses and groaned slightly. Whilst the population wasn't as high, there were still plenty of people and refugees. And it seemed like they were all crowding the balconies to stare down at him. He took a step forwards and was nearly buffeted by the wall of sound that hit him as every damn person began cheering.
"Oh hell."
Kaidan stepped up next to him, flashing a grin.
"Got time for several hundred thousand autographs?"
"I'll just claim I'm a decoy and that you're me with a newer face. They'll buy that."
"Ouch, nasty. No need to worry Admiral. We've got your back. Called ahead for a car."
The man was right - a sky car zoomed into view and settled on a pad nearby. The group made their way over, trying to ignore the constant chants of "Shepard, Shepard!" The slamming door dampened the noise somewhat as they took off. The Admiral glanced out the window, watching the Normandy, settled in the docking cradle amidst the Ward port concourses, as they flew away, deeper into the slowly growing ward.
So, celebrity life. That was interesting. Not something he'd really had to deal with before. And he wasn't sure he wanted to start.
His thoughts drifted to the station itself - it wasn't the test he'd expected; the political realities had somewhat lessened the dread of flashbacks with more pressing concerns. And yet it was more sadness than fear he felt looking at the place. Whilst it was a testament to survival, a weapon turned against its former masters. The mass relay to dark space made their Achilles heel. But also a grave and a memorial. Anderson had died here. He had nearly died here. That was a thought he brushed away, turning to look over at Kaidan Alenko as he piloted the car.
"Alenko, quick question. Captain or Major?"
Liara peered from the backseat and looked at her lover, "Yes, that is a question I've been meaning to ask. What dictates the terminology?"
Kaidan looked nonplussed, "Er, it's both. I mean, I'm both. I mean, you were a Commander, Shepard, but ranked as Lieutenant Commander. And then you came back and…"
"Yeah, you outranked me, apparently. But I wasn't Alliance then and now I'm an Admiral. So, point moot. But which do you prefer."
Kaidan sighed and gave Shepard a sidelong glance, "I am not going to start giving my rank as a first name, unlike some people, Commander." Shepard chuckled but gestured for Alenko to continue. The man shook his head and grinned, "Fine. One the ground it's Major, as per Alliance Marine Corps ranking. On board ship, as the ranking naval officer, it's still Major. Personally, Major sounds tougher, but makes me old. I'd still prefer Captain, much more enigmatic."
"I'd forgotten you were a romantic."
"Thank you sir."
Miranda smirked and interjected, "Shouldn't you be asking Liara? She's got to put up with you posturing the most."
The Asari inclined her head at Lawson and nodded.
"Miranda makes an excellent point. Captain it is then. Makes you sound… dashing."
"Please, let me out of the car first before you two start embracing eternity, ok? Reckon we could survive from this height Miranda?"
"As Jacob used to say - the risk, but the prize!"
Shepard stared at the grinning former Cerberus operative, "Ok, what the hell did you do with my cold eyed merciless revenge machine of a former XO? And please, never do that accent again. I am never getting that image out of my head."
They were still laughing as the car settled outside of a still near-pristine apartment block. Shepard looked up as he levered himself out of the car, eyebrows arching in surprise.
"Wow, I was expecting it to be a little more… bullet ridden."
"First thing they fixed, apparently, in this sector of the ward at least. All the way up to Shin Akiba. Look over there."
Shepard groaned as he spotted a small mountain of flowers, synthetic and genuine, piled around a makeshift shrine. It had been set up in the communal garden in front of the building.
"Seriously?"
"You touched a lot of people Shepard."
"Not the ones that mattered, though," the Admiral murmured, as if to himself. He shook himself and reached for his grip bag.
"Ah, we've got these, Shepard."
He grunted, but gave no further protest, limping his way towards the front of the building. Miranda watched him go and turned to the other two.
"You are sure it's wise to give him the box now?"
"He'll need his stuff back sooner or later. We were going to on the ship but… never a good time. At least here we can do damage limitation. Maybe. Lots more to distract him with."
"Good point. Come on then, before he starts yelling."
Shepard was waiting by the lift as they manhandled his few possessions into the building. He frowned as Kaidan walked past with a large grey box, but decided to say nothing as they ascended to his apartment. Formerly Anderson's apartment.
"Y'know, maybe I should've gone to Intai'sai…"
"Because hiding on a sun blasted planet with no views is going to really help your disposition, Shepard?" Kaidan adjusted the box in his arms, "No offence Admiral."
"You know, I do have a first name."
"Yes. Commander. Don't know why you changed it to Admiral. Doesn't have the same impact boss."
"Har har."
The door dinged open and revealed the corridor to the apartment. Stepping into the hall, Shepard froze and stared incredulously at his front door. A Turian was stood there, apparently muttering to himself, standing at an odd angle. Shepard advanced and his face broke into a grin.
"Garrus! I didn't recognise you without a set of half-blasted armour!"
The Turian grinned back at him, mandibles flaring in genuine pleasure. The man seemed to have a new scar on his chin, a rather uniform purple. Strange, he hadn't noticed it over the vid comm. He hobbled forwards, eliciting a tsk from his old friend.
"I hope you're not going to be using that as an excuse when I kick your ass next time, Shepard?"
Garrus was still stood oddly, in a kind of stood. Now closer, he could see the scar more clearly. Not a scar: another tattoo? Face paint.
"Yeah, yeah, legitimate handicap. Not that it isn't good to see you, but I thought you were on Palaven. And what happened to your chin?"
There was also a strangely familiar scent in the air. Garrus shifted and he looked… embarrassed? Shy? Proud?"
"Hey Shep!"
There was a shimmer in the air, followed by the crackle of a disintegrating cloak. A familiar hooded figure appeared, arms wrapped around Garrus' neck, hanging from his back like an overenthusiastic child. Familiar eyes glinted above a chin adorned with a purple stripe.
"Kasumi! Don't tell me, Grunt's hiding in a pot plant."
And then he noticed something about her. Blue markings on her face, covering what was visible of her cheekbones. Shepard paused, and then looked from the thief to the detective.
"Seriously?"
Kasumi grinned.
"Seriously?!"
Shepard ran a hand through his hair, turning to look back at his other friends, who were all trying to avoid his gaze, grinning like idiots.
"Seriously?!"
"So, ahem, yeah. Citadel. Honeymoon. Surprise?"
Five minutes later they were all gathered around the kitchen unit, drinks in hand. Shepard slapped Garrus on the shoulder.
"You thought I was going to be pissed? Garrus, only think I'm annoyed at is that I missed it. C'mon, fill me in."
"Well these guys knew. Half expected them to spill like a bunch of Volus with the threat of foreclosure. But it was… on Earth. Met Kasumi after we got back. I was assigned to help in the refugee camps whilst the relay was repaired. Kept finding things going missing. Tracked it down to an abandoned warehouse district - nothing there… but some signs of amateur distribution."
Kasumi, her hood down by her shoulders now, tsked and swatted at Garrus' arm. He rumbled in his throat, a low-level chuckle, and she sighed, fixing her gaze on Shepard.
"It's what you get for working with children - they don't know to clean up after themselves. Anyway, I saw that it was this guy following me so I decided to have some fun."
And what had followed was two week chase which ended silhouetted against the river Thames, by a broken Tower bridge.
Shepard supped his beer and looked between the two.
"Rather fast for a wedding?"
Garrus ran a hand over his crest and scratched the back of his neck.
"We may have been seeing each other on and off since, well… the Collectors?"
Shepard blinked.
"Really?"
Kasumi shrugged, "You were rather preoccupied - kidnapped humans, suicide run, return from the dead and a certain engineer," Shepard winced, but Kasumi just nodded sadly, "Not the best of times. Sorry Shepard."
"No, no, it's fine. Can't have eggshells every time she comes up. She was rather a large part of the last three, four years. But I can't believe I didn't spot it. I mean, I barely saw you guys in the same room! And the party here!"
"Cloak, Shepard. Plus Garebear here is rather light on his toes when he wants to be."
"If anyone makes a comment about reach, I'm going to bottle them," muttered Shepard, fixing Garrus with a glare. The Turian pointedly ignored him, and leaned down, gently touching his forehead against Kasumi's. Shepard had to admit, it was a rather sweet sight. And this from a man who could choose which freckle to drop a mass accelerator round through at 1000 metres.
Kasumi turned her head again, maintaining contact with Garrus.
"Anyway, Garrus found me some books during shore-leave before we hit Omega that second time. It kinda started there."
"And finished in London when I pulled her out of Terra Firma riot."
"Both hopeless romantics. How'd the day go."
"Well, my family only, really. Sol really took to Kasumi."
The thief smiled and rested her head against Garrus' shoulder, "So many Turian babies. So. Sweet. They made me feel welcome."
Shepard smiled at his friends, glancing over at Liara, who was leaning back against Kaidan, the man's arms around her waist. Miranda had a rather smug smirk on her face.
"Well this is ridiculous sappy. Something has got to explode soon, surely? No? Right, let's crack open another few beers and you can tell me what's in that crate Alenko."
The Captain chuckled and gently moved Liara to one side. The small party made their way to the main seating area and draped themselves across the sofas. Garrus sprawled on one, Kasumi folding herself neatly in his lap. The way she never seemed to be more than an arms width away from him was heart-wrenchingly sweet. Miranda perched on an arm-rest, whilst Liara seated herself demurely on the adjacent sofa. Kaidan retrieved the box from the entry hall and placed it in front of Shepard, before sitting down next to Liara, spreading his arms on the sofa backrest.
Shepard looked down at the box and frowned, "So the one guy who's got the busted leg has to sit on the floor to open his present. You're a cruel commanding officer Alenko."
"Learned from the best." Garrus nodded from the other sofa.
"It's what I was on mission for. Glad you were listening Captain. Or is it Major?" That got a groan from the others, followed by a "We've been over this!"
Shepard sighed and gently levered himself down to the floor, with much use of the cane. With a grunt he finally came to a rest, and then flipped the sealed lid. His breath caught as he began to pull items out.
"You guys saved my shirts. And my ships," he smiled gently taking the multitude of individual boxes out, placing them to one side. "Dog tags too, good good. Would hate to forget my name. Hoodies, clothes. Surprised you didn't put my fish in here!"
"They come with the Ship. And Joker isn't giving that up any time soon."
"Fair point. Right, weird Leviathan sphere… and my helmet." Shepard regarded the item carefully, as if handling a bad memory then placed it away from the rest of the items. Kasumi chuckled.
"It's like a kid at Christmas."
"I'm glad you're amused, Goto."
"Vakarian."
Shepard glanced up and grinned as the couple realised they had answered in unison. The thief just smiled and somehow curled up closer to her new husband.
"Sweet. Now, what el… ah."
He fished out a picture frame. His gaze rested on it for a while, before he licked dry lips and placed it gently down on the floor. Face up. He looked over at Alenko and leaned back on his hands.
"Thank you Kaidan. All of you. Why didn't you just, I don't know… get rid of it?"
"Wasn't ours to get rid of boss. And we knew you'd have been pissed."
He managed a half smile and looked at them all.
"You never gave up hope did you?"
There was silence for a moment, everyone lost in thought. Liara spoke first.
"We always hoped, Shepard. But the Alliance said nothing. But until we saw a body, we had to pray."
"And I wasn't feeling any supernatural over watch," Garrus's mandibles flexed slightly, "I wasn't about to think you'd buy me a drink first. No Shepard without Vakarian. And I was still kicking."
Miranda shifted and gave a haughty smile.
"I had faith my modifications would carry you through. I did design them after all." Her smile softened, "And if they didn't, well, you'd come out swinging, I believe is the term."
Kaidan nodded slowly, "You're damn hard to kill. I'd… doubted you before, John. Wasn't going to bet against you again."
Kasumi propped herself up on Garrus' chest, her head tilted.
"And I still needed to be a bridesmaid. You aren't getting off that easily."
Shepard laughed, but there was a slightly hollow edge to it. He stopped at her expression.
"You're serious aren't you?"
She gave a semi-shrug, "As you are fond of saying - there's always hope. And Tali hasn't invited me to this wedding, so you're my best shot." Her eyes twinkled mischievously. For some reason, Shepard felt reassured.
"You are an odd one, Kasumi...Vakarian."
Kasumi turned her head to gaze at Garrus. She hummed to herself and made a few strange noises, almost a cross between a growl and a purr. Garrus chuckled. The Admiral blinked.
"You learned Turian? Wow. Garrus, she is a keeper. The good kind."
They chuckled, the conversation flowing easily, along with the beer. After a few hours, Garrus and a thoroughly comfortable Kasumi were passed out, wrapped in a blanket on the sofa; Miranda was in a deep sleep on the second, out for the count. Upstairs Shepard leaned against the spare room's door and bid his friends good night.
"Have you two set a date yet? Seems to be the done thing."
Kaidan shrugged as he pulled off his shirt. The shower from the en suite was just audible. "Nope. But… I want to. Soon. Once we've worked out where we all stand. Spectres, Alliance…"
"Grab it while it's good, Alenko. Keep her close, I told you that already. Anyway, sleep well. Tomorrow is going to be an education to say the least."
"Heard loud and clear boss. You ok, John?"
"Been better, Kaidan. But been a hell of a lot worse. Today did me good. Thank you."
He nodded to his old friend and turned, hearing the door click shut behind him. Slowly he limped towards his room, mind clear for perhaps the first time in days. His omni-tool beeped.
ETA 4 days. Meet then.
Tali