It was a bit easier to talk in an environment where there wasn't always somebody or the other passing by. The hours flew by as the three of us just talked about nothing in particular, but everything at the same time. We'd actually finished dinner quite early because Wafi had picked me up for it almost as soon as I'd returned home. It was almost midnight by the time they left. I watched the two get into their cars before they zoomed off.
Exhaustion helped me drop off fast. Christopher's face was the last thing in my mind as I headed into the darkness. The slightly wistful look in his eye made me wonder if he was thinking the same thing I was when he left. What if it had just been the two of us?
Last night almost felt surreal. Being able to go out with my brother and the guy I like. Sure, Wafi third-wheeled but since he'd called Christopher first, it was technically I who'd third-wheeled. The pile of waiting homework was, in a way, confirming that last night had really happened. Why does the homework load increase right before holidays? Or right before exams? It's like they don't want to let us actually study.
Eric and Flo were none the wiser when they came to pick me up. I pretended not to notice the renewed stares as I made my way through the parking lot in a hurry. It took a lame excuse to separate myself from my friends but the anger from them was palpable once lunch rolled around.
"Why didn't you tell us?!" Eric hissed. I'd been cornered by my locker. They'd been waiting for me.
My eyes flickered around the crowded hallway. A few eyes turned towards us but Eric was careful to keep his voice low. Flo stood there quietly, her books hugged to her chest and looking hurt.
My heart twisted. "I'll tell you everything outside. Please, not here."
The two exchanged glances and backed away from me as I slammed my locker shut. We walked outside with the two flanking me like I was going to try to escape. They sat down by our tree, looking expectantly at me to begin.
And begin, I did.
Omitting the fact that Wafi had driven up to my home, I just said that I got a call from an unknown number which turned out to be him and he asked me if I could meet him at the restaurant. I also lied about not knowing Christopher was going to be there, and the fact that the three of us headed to my house after for cake and ice cream. Wafi did drop me home in a way but that was where I ended the retelling of last night. They still seemed pissed.
"What I didn't understand..." Eric began slowly once I stopped "... is that why did we have to find this out from other people, and not you?"
I ducked my head, unable to meet his searching eyes. "I... I didn't want to you guys to think any different of me."
"And you thought it would be better to hear it from strangers talking about how you're being 'fought over' by not one, but two Prince Regents?!" Flo burst out, surprising me in more ways than one. "I know you say your feud with Elizabeth is done and over with, but this is worse!"
I cocked an eyebrow. "How is this worse? I'm a Fire Elemental with a possible future position in the security team guarding the Fire Royals, meeting with the Water and Fire Prince Regents. Who, by the way, are actually like, really good friends." I shrugged. "I'm not getting hurt, you're not getting hurt. It's just rumours on what might have gone down. No one but I, and those two, know what we talked about."
Eric frowned suspiciously, his green eyes narrowed. "What did you all talk about?"
I shrugged vaguely to give it an air of nonchalance as I spoke. My easy tone belied my racing heart. "Normal stuff. It was pretty awkward in the beginning because it was only the two of them talking at first. Felt like I was third-wheeling, but then the conversation turned a bit more normal as the food arrived."
"What part of the entire situation is normal?" Flo hissed.
I opened my mouth and shut it once or twice as I thought a bit before I answered. "I... In the end, it was just a normal conversation. Wafi asked me a bit about my time in the human dimension and about how I've been doing since I came here."
Eric's frown hadn't left yet, it just got deeper as I kept talking. After a while, he sighed heavily and leaned back against the tree. "I... I'm confused."
"Why? I explained everything."
"Calling you out like this all of a sudden... It's just not normal." He was worried. "He called you on your number, your personal number. Doesn't that creep you out just a bit?"
Flo rolled her eyes. "You really think the Prince Regent would have any trouble getting the number of a Fire Elementalist?" She paused. "Let me correct myself, a registered Fire Elementalist who also won second place in the Trials."
I grimaced at the reference to my casual, yet low, celebrity status. "Shut up. It was a bit creepy but I was a bit more worried about what I'd done to warrant a face-to-face."
Eric still didn't seem convinced enough. He shook his head. "I... I still find this hard to take in. This is... This is too much for me."
I bit my lip and glanced at Flo for help. But Flo who'd just defended me less than ten seconds ago, looked confused herself. She just gave me a weak smile that did nothing to curb my anxiety.
Worry built in me and with it came the desperation of trying to drive another lie home.. Was I going to lose my friends? I leaned forward. "Guys, please. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I was scared of how you would react." No change in their expressions. "Please, say something! I'm sorry, okay? I'll tell you everything from now on."
Yet another lie that twisted my heart. I was in too deep now anyway and according to what Wafi had told me, this is from where our timeline begins. From where I start being publicly associated with him. This is a point of time from where I wouldn't have to lie as much anymore because from here on out, it's all a show for the public.
My gut seemed to cave in on itself as they glanced at each other once more. A gesture that was so small yet spoke volumes about how much I had drifted away from them. I had grown up with Eric. I met Flo in the human realm through Mich's friends, yet this is how I lose them both. A simple goddamn dinner with the two people who are making me lie. It was clear, they were done with me.
I didn't stick around after that. I couldn’t stick around after that. The distrust in their eyes made my gut curl. I wanted to throw up. That horrible feeling didn't leave me for the next few days. I didn't go with them in the morning, I stopped meeting them during the recess. It was a two-way street. When they didn't show up like clockwork the next day, it became a bit more certain that this sham of a friendship was now done. They seemed to be taking full advantage of the space as well. I got no texts or calls. As much as I expected it, it really hurt.
Weekend rolled around, the last week of school before winter break. I was looking forward to seeing Christopher. This constant dump I was in was taking a toll on everything. I wasn't eating much, I wasn't sleeping well. Rhaeya was angry at me again. Mich was worried, but he was only ever there for a few days of the week so an excuse about the flu was enough to keep him satisfied. Maybe a few hours of practice with Christopher will help me erase some of this gloom.
I gave him a weak smile as I stepped into the private room, a bit out of breath after climbing the stairs. My heart skipped a beat right before he turned around and snatched away the view of his well-defined back muscles bunched up under a sweaty shirt. The second smile came a bit more easily as he grinned at me. I felt lighter for a short moment. In a way, I felt lighter just being in his presence.
A short moment I tried to hang onto for the rest of our session. Just so I wouldn't relapse into the moody silence that had been my constant companion for the past few days. It wasn't a good enough effort. Christopher did notice. If not for my current mood or how I was faking it, he would probably have noticed how I'd been at school for the past few days.
We both usually maintained a careful distance from each other when we sat down. We'd never even talked about what had happened that night and I'd still rather not. I couldn't help but eye him warily as he sat down right next to me for once, a curious look in his eye.
"Are you okay?" He began, eyes on my tense form.
I rolled my eyes. "I'm fine. You don't need to ask me that anymore after the five-hundredth time you've thr-"
"No, not about the fighting." He quickly cut me off, blue eyes searched my face. "There's something else."
I cocked an eyebrow. That lightness starting to disappear. "Did I gain weight?" Surefire way to get a guy to back off.
Christopher rolled his eyes in turn. "Please, you know that is not what I'm talking about. " Dammit, he's smart. "You're in a fight with your friends, aren't you? That Eric guy and the girl who's... Air?"
"Air." I confirmed.
"Right." He paused before continuing. "You've been showing up to school on Mich's bike nowadays. Now, as hot as that is-" Wait, what. "-I'm worried for you." He called me hot.
He called me hot? "You... You were watching me?" He called me hot.
He looked away, turning a bit red. "No. People... just talk about you a lot since the dinner d-thing."
"Date?" I smirked, then degraded to snickering as he turned a shade redder. "God, you're so immature."
"It was not a date, okay?" Christopher looked up, a smirk on his own face. "Though I have a feeling you wished it was."
It was my turn to go red. It suits me anyway. I refused to back down from his challenging stare. "You were saying?" I gritted out.
Christopher laughed. "Now who's immature?"
"Hey! I never said I wanted to date you!"
"You didn't need to."
"Well, you don't need to say you want to get your ass kicked but what if I assume it!"
Christopher shrugged, blue eyes held a mischievous spark as he leaned in a bit. "You can try... But I'd really rather you not right now."
I smirked back at him. "Scared you'll lose?"
"No." His eyes flickered across my face. "Scared I'll lose this chance to kiss you."
I was a bit taken aback to be honest. Literally too. I jerked away from him in surprise. Annoyance passed through his face as the entire processing capability of my brain went into processing that phrase. Especially the last two words.
"What is it?" Christopher asked after a few moments of silence. The expression on my face hadn't changed.
"I..." I threw my eyes up to the ceiling. "I don't really know what to say..."
"That Christmas came early?" Christopher helpfully provided. I rolled my eyes as I looked at him again. He gave me a sheepish smirk.
I couldn't help but burst into giggles at that. "Really? You're my Christmas present?"
He shifted forward again. I didn't move away. "Why? Want a refund?"
"No. I'd really rather have you chucked down the chimney bound and gagged wearing just gift wrap."
Surprisingly enough, Christopher turned red but made a valiant effort at a comeback. "Y-you don't have a chimney."
"I'm sure Santa can improvise." I chuckled.
"Can we not talk about him?" He raised a hand to push a loose strand of my hair aside. "He's stealing my spotlight."
I chuckled once more as he leaned in. "Jealous?" My voice unintentionally lowered to a whisper.
"What do I have to lose against a possibly diabetic, fat, bearded old guy?" His blue eyes shone in amusement.
"Maybe it's the personality." My eyes dropped to his lips, a few inches from mine.
"Sure. Maybe." He laughed once more before he finally brushed his lips against mine.
I let my eyes drift shut and leaned in so we were doing more than just that. His lips were warm and dry, soft against mine as we shared a slow, uncertain kiss.
He pulled back for a short moment, his hand sliding down my cheek. My eyes met his hooded blue ones as he smiled. "I've been dreaming about his for a while now."
I smirked. "I've been dreaming about more than this for a while now."
"I'd be lying if I say I haven't." Christopher laughed, the movement made him brush teasingly against my lips.
"Oh, really?" I pressed my forehead to his. The light contact made him inhale sharply as his blue eyes dipped down to our almost-touching lips. My hand rose to run up his cheek, intertwining in his hair. "I don't like liars."
"Then you'll like me." Christopher growled, as he gave in and pressing his lips harshly against mine.
My hand tightened in his hair as he pulled me closer by the waist, making me gasp in surprise and taking the kiss deeper at the same time. Christopher twisted his body completely to face me, the sudden movement knocking me off balance on the narrow bench. I yelped softly as the two of us tumbled sideways but my fall was broken by Christopher. The breath was forced out of him as my entire weight slammed into him. He coughed as I rolled off and burst into laughter. Uncontrollable, side-splitting laughter.
It took a while for him to catch his breath. Then, he finally spoke while I continued rolling around. "You're heavy."
"Aren't you... a romantic?" I managed to force out amidst laughter.
I rolled onto my stomach, my chin balanced in the palm of my hand as I watched Christopher just lie there. His eyes shifted from the ceiling to me, and a smile tugged on his lips. "Not the ideal first kiss."
I still shook with laughter. I wiped an eye. "No, not... not really."
"Hey, you fell on me. Could you stop laughing?"
"I'm... trying." I looked down and bit my lip to do a few breathing exercises and get myself under control. It barely worked.
Christopher twisted to the side, up onto an elbow. His head raised so we were once again inches apart. "Stop. Laughing." He said, his blue eyes sparkled with mirth.
I had managed to relax into giggles. Leaning in, I brushed my lips against his. "Make me."
He was smart enough to take that as the invitation it was. We spent a while on the ground, talking, making out, maybe a bit more. Eventually, we got off the floor.
"I have to leave." I protested as Christopher nuzzled my neck.
His chest was pressed against my back with an additional arm around my waist to stop me from getting away. "Let's go out for lunch." He asked again, lips brushed against my ear
I rolled my eyes. "Sweet. But I'm not ready to face the backlash for dating you yet."
"Why do you care? We will still be dating no matter what others think." The tone of his voice...
"For you, it's no big deal, but it'll be a giant pain for me. I'll have to deal with my friends, possibly Elizabeth too." I paused. "I haven't even thought of how Wafi will react."
"He'll be fine." Christopher replied. He pulled away to walk beside me instead of continuing to hold me back. "As for Elizabeth, she doesn't matter."
"Not to you maybe." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "I've been receiving daily glares ever since I went out for dinner with you guys."
A worried frown crossed Christopher's forehead. He moved in closer, and took my hand in his. "Has she hurt you?"
I glanced down at my hands. I liked the feel of it... but I had to wonder if this was right. "Not yet. But there has been a threat." The following silence was for me to continue. "I... found an icicle in my locker. She was standing by the corner watching me so I..." I paused uncertainly. "I looked her in the eye and snapped it."
There was a long pause, punctuated only by the sound of our feet as we descended the steps. I was in a way glad to be leaving. I needed to be away from Christopher to think. But at the same time, I didn't want this moment to end. I wanted it to be just the two of us with nothing else, no one else. No other goddamn worries. I've had too many of them these past few months— I deserved something good in my life for once.
"I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear..." Christopher began slowly. "But that just sounds super hot." I laughed, lightly punching Christopher in the shoulder as we reached the ground floor. He grinned at me, leaning in to peck my cheek. "You probably shouldn't have done that, but that is just really hot."
"Goddamnit, Christopher! I'm trying to be serious here." I laughed as I pushed him away.
"You can be serious once you leave." He pushed the door to the Common Gym open as I rejected the kiss I wanted. "Besides, Elizabeth cares about her image too much. She won't go this nuts over an ex, it doesn't suit her."
"I hope so." I replied absently. "I don't think I can go through another fight like that and come out alive."
Christopher stopped walking. He turned me with a serious expression on his face. "Hey, it'll be okay. It's over between you two. She's not a part of either of our lives anymore and let's keep it that way."
I rolled my eyes. "If it was that easy, Christopher, a lot of wars wouldn't even have started. I'll deal with her if it comes to it."
Christopher pulled me closer and pressed his forehead against mine. "I wish you didn't have to. You're overreacting. We can date publicly. No one will care."
"I've told you this before, Christopher." I reached up to stroke his cheek. "We both live in different worlds. What doesn't affect you might affect me. Even the people around us react differently. My friends already don't trust me. They'd hate me even more if this—" I gestured in the space between us "—comes out."
The thought of revealing my true roots to them still terrified me. I couldn't even imagine their reaction at what we were doing. There was a slow chill crawling over me. One I knew would completely take over once I reached home and was alone with my thoughts. I couldn't push it away forever.
Christopher and I shared one last kiss before we left, with the usual fifteen minute gap between our departures. He wanted to meet again, but I said I would call him. I couldn't risk my already disintegrating friendship over gossip that I was dating Christopher. I had only those two in this dimension. I had to make it up to them, somehow.
At home, Mich was on the couch watching TV as usual. I hesitated to head upstairs, instead chose to flop onto the couch beside him. "Hey." I greeted with a soft peck.
He smiled at me, shifting a bit so I could get comfortable on the couch. "How was training?" He asked.
"Good. The usual." I placed my head on his shoulder. "I'm a bit tired."
"I bet." He reached up to absently pat my head. "You stink."
"Thanks. You know how to make a girl feel special."
He chuckled. Turning his head, he planted a kiss on my forehead before he got up. "I'll fix you something to eat. Go and freshen up."
I turned my head to look at him leave. "Can we go watch a movie or something? It's been a while since we went out."
"Anything good on?" He asked from the dining room.
"Let me check!" I yelled back as I rolled off the couch and headed upstairs.
I couldn't find anything worth heading out for. Conveying my findings to a disinterested Mich, I jumped into the shower.
Being alone is a double-edged sword. As much as one can appreciate the silence and the chance to think without any distractions, any answers you come up with may not be the ones that you wanted.
I absently poked a floating globule of water. It rippled lightly, separating near the edges and drifting away. I sighed, letting go of my concentration as I stepped out amidst the sound of water falling back into the tub.
I hadn't come to a conclusion. The only thing I could think of was worse. It would hurt all of us in the process. But it had to be done.