Thank you so much for your kind comments on Chapter One; I hope you like Chapter Two as much!!
***
I stood to open our overhead compartment, taking Bella's backpack down for her so that we could deplane as soon as she returned. Alice was also prepared by the time Bella came up the aisle toward us, and the three of us smiled faintly at the too-cheerful flight attendants as we walked into the Atlanta airport. Fortunately, our connecting flight was on time. I offered to purchase Bella something to eat at the row of eateries lining the west side of our wing of the airport. She started to refuse until Alice intervened and told her to eat something if she wanted to stay awake.
Nice reverse psychology, Alice.
Alice remained with our carry-on bags, calling Jasper on her cell as Bella walked beside me down the causeway. She did not reach out her hand to hold mine as she used to when we walked somewhere together, but her eyes kept sliding sideways several times a minute, apparently making certain that I was still beside her.
I had to admit that I couldn't stop glancing at her, either.
Bella finally decided on a turkey sub, and I ordered her a large one over her protests.
“If you can't eat it all now, you can take the other half on the plane in case you get hungry later,” I suggested, and she finally nodded. I frowned, though, when she ordered an extra-large Coke to go with her sandwich. She noticed my displeasure and simply shrugged, making no apologies.
Once her sandwich was made and bagged up for her, I carried it while she held the huge drink, sipping at it as we walked back to the boarding area for our connecting flight. We made our way back to Alice, and Bella managed to consume almost half of the sandwich while we waited for our plane to arrive. Seeing her eat something made me feel so much better; now that I was back, I would be able to encourage her to eat regularly so that she could gain back the weight she lost while I was away.
I watched her as she folded away the remainder of her sandwich to eat later: her eyes still looked glassy with exhaustion and some other emotion I didn't recognize...it was as if she was suppressing her emotions so deeply that she appeared wooden and unfeeling.
I knew that she had been through a great deal in the last twenty-four hours, but she seemed to be on autopilot, responding with correct responses when directly asked a direct question, but allowing her mind to wander when we weren't talking...which was almost all of the time.
We boarded our connecting flight soon afterward, quietly settling again into the first-class cabin. This time, however, we were not alone; several business people in suits and ties joined us, spreading out files and booting up laptops as soon as they were allowed to do so.
Once the seat belt sign disappeared, Bella was moving toward the bathroom once again, the large Coke keeping her awake but obviously causing unwelcome side effects.
When she wasn't running off to the bathroom, I held Bella close beside me, unable to resist kissing her hands, wrists, hair, forehead, and cheeks, but avoiding kissing her on her lips the way I wanted to so badly. I refrained for several reasons: Bella's uncommunicative state, the fear and desperation still hiding behind her eyes, my desire for her to fall asleep and get the rest she so clearly needed, and the concern that if I kissed her properly on the lips, I would never be able to stop kissing her...ever.
She remained within my arms, but we did not talk. Bella seemed so fragile—not just physically as I had noted the moment I had embraced her in that alley in Volterra, but emotionally as well, as if one word from me could completely shatter her. Occasionally she would turn to me as if she had a question to ask or a comment to make, but then she would fold her lips stubbornly and turn away to stare out the window instead.
As I held this most precious person to my silent chest, my mind returned to how close I had come to losing her...and not just in Italy. Bella had bravely and recklessly joined my equally brave and reckless sister in this rescue mission to save me. My own foolhardy behavior had placed the two women I loved most in the gravest danger...and they cheerfully risked their lives on my behalf.
Yet the glimpse Alice had provided me as we followed Jane down the shadowed alley had chilled me. If I hadn't had Felix and Demetri behind me, I would have frozen stock-still to process the frightening visions engendered by Alice's deceptively casual words, “In summary, she did jump off a cliff, but she wasn't trying to kill herself. Bella's all about the extreme sports these days.”
My sister's words were accompanied by her memory of Bella sitting on a sofa, so pale and weary, her thin face empty of emotion as she explained to Alice about her near-drowning that day—which Alice believed was indeed a suicide attempt—along with her friendship with Jacob Black and the wolf pack, plus her near-death at Laurent's hands and Victoria's attempts to kill her to injure me, “a mate for a mate.”
In Alice's memories, Bella was so...un-Bella-ish. Her expression was unemotional except when my family came up in conversation. She hugged my sister warmly, and her eyes lit up a little when Alice mentioned Carlisle and Esme. She nearly smiled once at the mention of Emmett's name, and a look of sadness and regret passed quickly over her features when Jasper's name came up. Rosalie's name was the only one that didn't produce any reaction from Bella.
And when she asked after me, unable to even say my name, Bella's face lost all color, and she bent over, her arms wrapped around her middle, as if she were trying to hold herself together so that she wouldn't fall to pieces.
How well I knew that feeling, for it was the same emotion that had followed me wherever I went during my absence.
I shook my head sadly, my eyes far away as Alice's memories came to an end. I had left for no reason whatsoever. My absence had only brought more danger into Bella's life rather than protecting her; she had entered my world too deeply to be kept safe, no matter what. Laurent and Victoria returning for her...a pack of volatile wolves as her closest friends...a careless, destructive attitude toward her life that resulted in cliff diving and who knows what else—Alice's mind had quickly passed over the image of a motorcycle, and I feared that Bella had been reckless in any way possible in my absence.
She had broken her promise to me to remain safe...”for Charlie's sake” as I had requested.
But then, how many promises had I broken in the woods behind her house? I had gone back on my word far too many times that day. Thus I couldn't be angry at her for trying to level the field a bit...even though her recklessness had endangered the one thing I held most dear on the face of the planet—her.
I sighed in resignation, and I sighed many times that night as I noted every way in which my absence had affected my girl negatively. She seemed...almost shell-shocked...as if she were waking from a very long dream but still could not quite believe what her eyes were telling her: I was here with her, holding her, gently caressing and kissing her each time I thought of another way in which I could have lost the reason for my existence while I was away.
I watch over her jealousy now, not wanting to miss a single sweet breath or flutter of her eyelashes or a strangely shy and disbelieving glance or a shudder of either cold or fear—perhaps both. Isabella Swan was now safely in my arms, and I was not planning to let her go again...ever.
If she would have me, that is....
But I refused to let that agonizing thought take root in my mind. I reminded myself that Bella was not a person to hold a grudge. Surely she would forgive me? But I knew all too well that I didn't deserve her forgiveness for slicing open her tender, loving heart with my lies in September.
And she had believed me...so quickly and absolutely that it had stunned me.
Almost as if she knew that I was going to leave her.
Almost as if she had been waiting for it...evenexpecting it.
I shook my head slightly, my eyes glued on the object of my devotion as I hungrily devoured her familiar scent that burned my throat, her soft warmth, her gentle breaths and beating heart, her dark eyes...too dark in her pale, thin face. I could only hold her to me and exult in being in her presence once more...even if she decided that what I had done to her and to my family was unforgivable.
All night long Bella fought valiantly against her sagging eyelids, drinking Coke the whole flight and making nearly a dozen bathroom trips as a result. I had hoped that she would sleep, but she kept fighting the exhaustion with such determination that I further doubted her reasons from the previous flight about being afraid of having nightmares after our confrontation with the Volturi.
Why was she forcing herself to remain awake?
It was almost as if she expected me to leave her as soon as we landed in Washington. But couldn't she see the love shining from my eyes every time my eyes, black with thirst, met her exhausted brown ones? Didn't my constant caresses reassure her at all?
Frantically I sought Alice's mind, hoping for a glimpse of everything being back to normal between Bella and myself; after all, Alice had reassured me that our relationship would be restored. But I could see nothing in my sister's mind at the moment—her focus was entirely filled with Jasper and their coming reunion. I skipped out of her mind as soon as their “reunion” continued privately behind the closed door of their room....
I tried to stem the growing worry flooding me, but I could not. My eyes were glued to Bella's continued battle against sleep, wishing and hoping and somehow trusting that she would come back to me....
***
Thank you for reading and commenting!!!
I'll post Chapter Three in about 24 hours.
Love to you all,
Cassandra :)