Juliet's
I sighed and stared at the ring on my finger. I wiped my tears away as I remember those moments with her. I traced the ring's exterior. It feels nostalgic. This ring symbolizes our love but...but I ruined everything.
It's my fault. That's why she broke up with me.
Ipinadausdos ko ang sarili mula sa headboard ng kama pahiga. Tumingin ako sa kisame at pumikit. Another tear fell from my eyes. I hate myself. At hindi ko rin masisisi sina Ate Steff at si Yanyan if they're mad at me, too. I took her for granted and now...
I love her. That's for real.
Sure, I got confused about what I feel. The aftermath of what I did is now consuming me. I'm so stupid for doubting my love for her and realizing it too late. Hinintay ko pang makipag-break siya sa akin. Hinintay ko pang paalisin niya ako.
Ano pang mukhang ihaharap ko kay Cindy? I'm too ashamed of what I've done. It's killing me. I want her back...but how?
"Juliet!" Napalingon ako sa pinto nang makarinig ng sunud-sunod na pagkatok.
Even if I don't want to move, I hastily stood up and fix myself. I slowly walked towards the door and opened it. "Dianne?"
Tahimik na pumasok siya sa kwarto and naupo sa bed. I reluctantly closed the door and sat with her. "Why are you..."
"Best friend duty." She simply said before patting my head.
I sighed. "You already knew?"
"No." She answered quickly. "But I know there is something wrong."
"W-wala na kami ni Cindy."
"Dahil kay Romeo."
I nodded. What she said was not a question. It's like she knew everything just by observing.
"Juliet?"
Tumingin ako sa kanya. Only to get slapped by her─hard.
"Okay ka na?"
I glared at her and touched my cheeks. Ang init nito. I'm sure her hand marked my face. Ang bigat din talaga ng kamay, eh. "How can I? It hurts."
"Exactly." She smiled sweetly. I find her really annoying and creepy at the same time. But I know what she wants me understand. "So, cheer up. I'm just here."
Napangiti na lang ako sa sinabi niya. This is what I like about her. Maloko siya and parang walang pakialam sa nakikita sa kanya ng ibang but when she cares, she really is. "Best friend nga talaga kita."
"Naman!" Palatak niya before laughing like a three year old kid. "Kaya nga patay na patay sa akin si Trisha."
Yeah. Right.
"So, anong nangyari ba talaga?"
I started telling her what really happened on my side. The moment she told us na magt-transfer si Romeo sa Parker U, I felt something twitched in my heart. I don't understand it, and at that time, I felt like I was delivered somewhere.
Then, I met him. And gave me a smile. "Alam pala ng parents ko that he's here. They called me to meet someone." I said, "I thought it's business related but they set me up on a date. With him."
I was confused that time when I heard na sa Parker U na siya mag-aaral and it only worsened when my parents set me up with him.
"Mas nadagdagan pa yung confusion ko when Romeo said that he likes me." I stared at Dianne. "I swear, I can feel the butterflies on my stomach when he said that."
Nakakaintinding tumango naman siya.
I felt happy when he said those words. I don't know why. May girlfriend ako, and yet, why I felt happy? Why did I hope that there's a chance for us to be together? Then I thought about Cindy. Bigla akong kinabahan. Naguluhan ako lalo. Natakot ako. I'm afraid because I started to doubt what I'm feeling for her.
"Hindi ko 'yon nasabi kay Cindy because I kind of forgot her that time and when I saw Cindy, I got scared of what she will think of me." I bowed my head and closed my eyes, I feel so guilty and stupid. "I called my parents and asked them what they are planning to do..."
"Why did you set me up?" I quickly asked Mom on the other line. Hindi kasi nasagot sa tawag si Dad, baka siya ang nasa work.
"Why, Juliet?" Mom asked, "It's just a friendly date. Does it affect you?"
"B-but," I stuttered. Because it really did. "Why didn't you tell me immediately?"
"I just thought that maybe what you're feelings towards your girlfriend is just a phase." She answered truthfully. I can sense in her voice that she just cares about me. "You see, I'm still wondering why you suddenly became in love with a girl. Hindi ka nagkukuwento, anak. Tingin ko, naaliw ka lang kay Cindy, that's why. I mean, you're too young and it's not possible."
"Mom, I'm already twenty!" I defensed, "I know what I'm doing."
"But I can sense your confusion." She stated which made my mouth shut. "I am not asking you to be committed with him because it is not fair for Cindy. I care about that girl, too." Naging mas gentle pa ang boses niya. "Pero hindi masamang itimbang at pag-isipan ang mga bagay-bagay. I like Romeo for you, because he's a man. I like Cindy for you, too, because she makes you happy. But I want you to settle things with no regrets. It is not me or you father who'll decide kung sinong dapat mong makasama. We're just guiding you. And thinking about things which should be think ingabout is also a process of growing up and learning to love at the same time." Pangaral niya, "I'm right, am I not?" Wala sa sariling napatango ako. "You are confused of what we did. If we are to prolong the process, it'll just confused you more. Marami ka pang dadaanan. Life is all about starting things by ending the last chapter with a proper conclusion. No skipping. And you didn't end your last chapter well. That's what I feel."
"Then," Napatingin ako kay Dianne, I gave her a small smile while she held my hand in return. "I realized that they just want what's best for me."
"And all your actions is merely no one's fault but yours."
I nodded. All of my actions, all of what I did, I wasn't influenced by anyone and now it's bouncing back at me. And I'm hating myself for hurting Cindy so much.
Kitang-kita ko 'yon. I can feel her pain when she saw me being kissed by no other than Romeo. And I can't deny to her that I did not like it.
"Totoo pala iyon, ano?" She chuckled mockingly and shook her head. "Malalaman mo lang kung gaano kahalaga ang isang tao kapag wala na."
I felt a pang of pain stabbing me. "B-but...but she said I can be with her again once I realized that I love her and no one else."
"Do you think that's easy?" Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. "Pare, you're taking her for granted again kung hindi mo pa alam."
"I don't know what am I going to do." I clenched my fist and closed my eyes. I feel like crying again. I want her back. I love her. No doubt. "I love Cindy. I will never, ever, doubt my love for her again."
It's my fault. I was too late to realized that what I feel for her is not a phase. Ang tanga ko para malito sa kanilang dalawa. Ngayon, alam ko nang hindi siya diversion ng feelings ko kay Romeo. Iba siya. All is genuine. And I was stupid because I let myself to entertain someone's feelings. Natuwa ako sa bagay na hindi ko dapat ikasiya, I was flattered by the truth that he likes me. I feel like a douche. I'm committed and in love. And yet, I cheated. And now, I'm regretting it. I hurt her. Even though I promised myself to make her happy.
"Kung gusto mo siyang balikan, ayusin mo muna yung gusot na ginawa mo." She advised, "May lalaking umaasa na sa'yo." Napakamot siya sa ulo niya. "Hirap maging maganda, ano?"
I pouted my lips. "Maganda ka rin naman but you don't have any problem in your relationship."
"Marunong kasi akong mag-balance ng mga bagay-bagay, I know what's my priority and I know what I want." She smiled sweetly. "Si Trisha lang." She grinned. "Anyways, maganda rin si Cindy, baka nakakalimutan mo. I'm sure na may ibang gustong maghangad sa kanya."
"She's mine." I answered dangerously. Just by the thought of Cindy being committed to someone hurts me so much.
"News flash!" She retorted sarcastically. "Break na kayo."
"Makikipagbalikan ako sa kanya."
"Paano, aber?"
"Liligawan ko siya."
I will not take her for granted this time. I'll prove to her that I love her. I'll prove to her that I'll choose her over and over again to anyone. This time, hindi na ako magkakamali.
Because this time, I'm sure as hell that I─Juliet Shin Parker─is deeply and madly in love with Cindy alone and no one else.
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