It had felt like Sabrina and Max had been engaged forever and it was finally the actual day they were to be married. They'd been engaged for less than a year but I could still remember the shock that washed over me to quickly give way for excitement when I had originally been told.
Marriage seemed so serious and learning that my boyfriend's sister was to marry had my head spinning a bit. It felt scarier than Jim and Tanya, who'd just gotten married, because this was Nate's family and he would sneak in those little comments about wanting to marry me one day.
We'd talked about it before and I still wasn't entirely convinced that I wanted to be married but my resolve had slowly been fading away with every nice gesture and gently nudges from Nate.
This would only be the third wedding I had ever attended. The first had been for Nate's cousin and the second had been Jim and Tanya's. I had learnt that weddings made me emotional and I was suddenly thankful that I didn't have an extremely big extended family that would mean weddings all the time.
I had met Nate's late grandfather Bob at the cousin's wedding and the way the old man had spoken to me still stayed with me. I had been a mess of happy tears at Jim and Tanya's because I could just see the love radiating off their faces and knowing that two people I cared so deeply for had found each other just made my heart soar.
On the morning of the wedding day, I was already a mess of nerves walking up and down the halls outside of the dressing room. It would only be a small wedding with friends and close family, much to Sabrina and Nate's parents' dismay. Especially, their mother had practically freaked out when she learnt that none of all her friends, or the 'family friends' would be invited. We'd only gotten this information from Sabrina but frankly; I could almost see the fight break out in front of my eyes. Their mother was a handful and she made mine look like a dance on roses.
Nate had gone to check up on his sister before the ceremony and I found myself drifting towards Max's dressing room. He undoubtedly had his best man and lots of his friends around him but I couldn't help feeling this need to go check up on him.
Max and I had never did speak much because in the company of two Hayden siblings it could be difficult to get a word in, but I had always really liked him. He seemed chill and completely comfortable with himself in a way that I had always envied.
I let my knuckles fall against the door gently and I heard him call out to come in. I opened the door slowly and called out to let him know that it was me.
"Ah, Abbey!" he greeted me and the smile plastered on his face was so wide that I wondered if his cheeks would hurt tomorrow. To my surprise, he was alone in his dressing room but looked fully done if you didn't count fidgeting with his shirt collar.
"All alone?" I asked and peaked around the room, half expecting someone to jump scare me after having been living with a daily vlogger for so long.
"I sent my best man on one final duty before the wedding, which was retrieving my watch that I stupidly forgot at home. This whole morning feels like my head has been put on backwards," he said and let out a huff of air.
"Are you nervous?" I asked sympathetically.
"Yes and no. I'm marrying my best friend, so in that sense I'm not but the whole thing is a bit nerve-wracking. It's a lot of eyes on us, even if we're keeping the wedding really small."
"I get that," I hummed in agreement.
I couldn't imagine me in Max's place, fidgeting with my clothes and feeling spikes of anxiety. I had talked to Nate earlier and he'd told me that Sabrina was completely cool but she seemed to remain cool in all and every situation.
"Is there any reason in particular that you're stopping by?" Max asked and I almost turned on my heels and sprinted out the room because I thought I was overstepping my welcome. "No, Abbey, I don't mind! Please do stay. You just make me curious with that far-off look in your eye."
"Feel free to cut me off if I'm rambling or you don't want to answer... but why do you want to get married? Christ, that sounds horrible and to ask someone that right before they're about to get married. Never mind. Ignore me," my voice sped up gradually as I realised how stupid and inappropriate my question had been.
But Max was a kind soul and he just laughed and didn't seem nervous or mad at my question.
"It's okay, Abbey. I think I get what you're asking. Why get married when we're almost as good as married already?" he asked for confirmation and I nodded. "Well, I agree that not much will outwardly change by getting married. We already live together, we already sleep together, we already have joint finances and we already love each other deeply. But this is just a nice thing to do and it makes things easier legally, even if that's far from the romantic answer. Mostly it's just because I want to publically tell her that I can't imagine ever moving on from her. I've had girlfriends before and she's had boyfriends before. Obviously never as serious as each other but she'll not just be my long-term girlfriend. She'll be my wife. I've immensely enjoyed calling her my fiancé for this past year and I can only imagine wife is going to be even better. She made me become a better me and it wouldn't matter if we got married or not. I know I'd always have her but it's a nice thing to say that she's my girl to everyone we know."
I paused and considered Max's words. He delivered them with such ease and I could see the way he held himself that he was sure of what he was telling me. It had taken a long time for us to get to know each other as both naturally shy and held-back people but it wasn't until that moment it dawned on me just how similar we was.
"We're kindred spirits, aren't we, Max?" I asked with a crocked smile. "It's easy to forget sometimes. I'm not even sure I realised until now."
"You realised, Abbey. Don't forget about all our across-the-room eye contact when either of our Haydens open their mouth as says something ridiculous or get into trouble."
"You're right. I should leave you to it. See you in the church, Max and you look great."
"Abbey?"
"Huh?"
"If you're worried about Nate and what he might ask you in the future, don't be. He's a great guy and I doubt he'd try to pressure you into something if you don't want it."
"Even if he just wants to marry me because he wants to show his love like you do for Sabrina? He's already brought it up several times but I think we're too young," I confessed to Max in a hushed voice.
"If you just keep being honest and talking to each other, then everything will be fine, Abbey. It's how Sabrina and I worked out and now this is our wedding date."
I nodded and went to open the door to almost stumble into the arms of the best man, who was panting heavily. I left quickly to give Max and his best friend a chance to talk things through and I headed back to the church where my eyes instantly found Nate.
He looked so damn handsome in his tuxedo and I felt like the wind got knocked out of me. I had never been blind to his physical attractiveness but what really felt like a punch in the gut was the way his eyes scanned the room for me too and the brilliant smile that adorned his face when he spotted me. Before meeting him, I had only dreamt that someone would ever look at me like that.
I made my way to him and I didn't say a word as I stood on my toes and pressed my lips gently to his. His expression softened as we broke apart and he didn't seem surprised at the public display of affection that I usually shied away from. His hand found the small of my back and he pressed another kiss into my hair.
Wedding made me emotional, and Nate knew this better than anyone because he'd always been right there next to me. The ceremony was absolutely beautiful and Sabrina looked so stunning walking down the aisle, even if my favourite part was watching both Sabrina and Max's faces. Their eyes were locked the whole way and it seemed like neither of them blinked the whole time as that split second of separation would be too much to bear in the situation.
I had to blink away silent tears more than once and I just watched the whole thing captivated. I wasn't extremely religious, which was another reason why getting married in a church felt a bit weird, but I couldn't deny that it was a beautiful thing to watch.
It took the first few hours of the reception before my heart finally calmed down and begun to beat regularly. The food was divine but I could hardly stomach anything out of sheer anticipation. Just as I had found my footing, Nate looked over and squeezed my hand before standing up to give his speech.
He beat his knife against the glass with a little too much force and I reached out to stop his movements before he actually shattered the no doubt expensive glass. Nate shot me a smile and cleared his throat as he put the glass back down. He didn't have any notes with him but I knew he'd thought long and hard about his speech, even if he wanted to speak more freely rather than sticking to a script.
"Sabrina, I never thought I'd see the day," Nate started off and his voice was teasing and he had a glint in his eye. His sister glared at him in that pissed-off but still fond way only a sibling could. "Between all the boys you had chasing you, I never really thought what would happen when this day would come."
"Nate," she practically growled.
"Sorry," he said with a smirk that completely contradicted his apology. "But do let me get to my point, dear sister. You have always been a very beautiful woman and as your poor little brother I can't even tell you how many boys came up to me and tried to get to you through me. All of my friends had a crush on you, even with the age difference. I told all of them to bugger off. But you still found a lot of different boys infatuated with you in your teens and early twenties."
Max was smiling fondly, even as Nate chose to bring up past boyfriends. I knew Max loved Nate dearly and he was probably willing to put up with this in the hopes that Nate reached a sensible point at the end.
"A lot of people tell me that my sister and I are very alike. We both like to meet new people and make friends. We love getting to know someone and establish a connection. What many don't realise is that despite our willingness to talk rather freely with almost strangers, we don't often let a lot of people all the way in. We are the types of that have so many friends, even good friends but to actually get to into our centre where every vulnerability is laid bare... there's only very few people that make it in there. I remember when I first heard about this new boy Sabrina started dating and I have to admit, Max, I made fun of your name for about ten minutes straight. I always loved to tease Sabrina about her boyfriends."
I felt like I was melting while listening to Nate's speech and my eyes were already starting to tear up. I knew what Nate meant about that guardedness. When we first started dating, I thought he could make best friend with everybody and talk about everything, especially because he was always vlogging very honestly. Then I learnt that he hid away the most difficult things from most people, even his good friends. He hardly ever let anyone see him cry or breakdown or worry but he'd let me that close, as I had done with him.
"You're forgiven, Nate," Max said.
"Thanks, mate, but what was more extraordinary about you was the fact that we actually got to meet you eventually. You see, Sabrina liked to keep her boyfriends separate from our family for various reasons but one Christmas, there was that Max character she'd been dating for like a year. When I met you, I desperately wanted to make fun of you in person too, Max, but I just didn't have it in me. It wasn't like I hadn't noticed the fondness in Sabrina's eyes when she was talking about you or the fact that you'd lasted past the first few months. But actually seeing the way the two of you looked at each other felt like a sucker punch to the gut. I was so happy for my sister because I realised that you'd managed to melt away all her amour and I knew how many fights with my fiery sister that must have taken to accomplish. So I don't find myself surprised that three and a half years later, we're sitting here at your wedding. Let's raise a glass to the bride and groom!"
Everybody followed his instructions, even if I did so while biting back the tears. Sabrina got out of her chair and went over to pull Nate into a tight hug, while speaking to him in hushed tones. She's told me that she was slightly worried Nate would go for the humorous approach and say something stupid. I'd told her not to worry.
Nate might be a silly guy and he loved making people laugh but he had his sensitive moments and certain people with whom the need to be funny melted away. Nate and Sabrina hadn't always gotten along with their parents, even if the Haydens had been on perfect behaviour today. My guess would be that Sabrina threatened to kick them out if they kicked up a fuss. Still, they'd formed a bond where they could always count on each other as children and it was wonderful to watch it carry on into their adulthood.
When Nate sat down next to me, I intertwined out fingers and rested my head briefly on his shoulder.
"It was a very good speech," I whispered to him.
"Thank you," he whispered right back and reached up to wipe away the tears threatening to spill from my eyes.
It was much later and we'd been through more speeches and festivities, when I finally snuck away to get some air. I'd ugly cried at Sabrina's speech, which had mentioned her grandfather Bob and Max's speech where he'd talked about how wonderful it had been to work with her to keep their relationship working, even past the first infatuation phase. I'd lasted exceptionally long compared to at other parties before needed that little breathing room before it all became too much.
Everybody was so lovely, both the two families and all the friends that I hadn't met before. I knew a remarkably small amount of people properly but somehow I had managed just fine. I was getting better at handling this without needing to hide behind a camera and see the world through my lens for it to make sense. Nate had also chosen to leave his camera at home for this one and just be in the moment with his family.
"You've been out here for fifteen minutes," Nate suddenly said and came up behind me and I felt his suit jacket being placed around my shoulders. I shuddered and pulled it closer. I hadn't realise time had passed that fast nor had I noticed that I had gotten cold.
"Still need more breathing time?" Nate asked, his voice soft and gently as always. There was no judgement in there at all, even if it might be considered rude to disappear from a wedding for a quarter of an hour.
"No," I said and shook my head quietly. "But watch the stars with me for a moment before we head inside?"
Nate stepped up behind me and pulled my back to rest against his chest as he placed his head on my shoulder. I turned sideways to press a chaste kiss to his jawline.
"Your sister got married," I said in a quiet voice.
"That was kind of the point of this whole thing, Abbs," Nate said teasingly and then grunted when my elbow made contact with his side.
"Don't be snide," I said but instantly regretted my jab as Nate started tickling my sides. "Unfair! Stop! Stop it, Nate!"
He was laughing and it was contagious so I kept laughing even after he stopped the tickle attack.
"You were stating the obvious."
"Yes, but I just needed to say it out loud. Isn't it an odd thing? Your sister is married, Nate. How grown-up does that sound?"
Nate pulled me back against his chest and got into the same position from before the unfair tickle attack.
"I don't know. They're still just Sabrina and Max – nothing has really changed for them. Do you think about Jim and Tanya being married?"
"No," I admitted. "Not after the first few weeks. But this is your sister. Your family, Nate. Someone just a few years older than you."
Nate seemed to shift behind me and I knew he knew what I was implying. I had stated my fear often enough. If you didn't know better, you'd probably assume that I was suffering from fear of commitment but I was utterly committed to Nate in every way possible.
"Abbs, you know I won't ask you to marry me unti... if you're ready. Marriage isn't that important."
There I went almost tearing up again. But the thing was... maybe; I did want this with Nate. Max and Nate were both right, nothing had to change between us. We practically acted like an old married couple already and it wasn't like I could see myself spending my life with someone other than Nate.
"I'd like to marry you some day," I said and leaned back into his embrace. My voice was barely louder than a whisper, almost as if speaking the words out loud was daunting.
Three years probably wasn't that long in considering our whole life span but we'd been through enough for me actually to feel comfortable with my decision. I wanted to have babies with him at some point in the future. Marriage was less of a commitment but it could be a nice thing.
To have Nate not be my boyfriend but be my husband.
"Do you mean that or did you hope that the wind would carry away your soft spoken words before I could hear?" Nate asked with a new edge in his voice.
I turned around in his arms and reached up to place my hands on his cheeks.
"Don't ask me tomorrow or something foolish like that but I trust you with my whole being, Nate. If you ask, then I'll say yes. I trust you to know both of us well enough to consider the timing but... I'd love to marry you some day. It's important to you and what's important to me is that we have the life of people, who married each other."
Nate pulled me in close and my face was buried against his chest as I inhaled deeply and let his scent and the feeling of his arms around me absolutely comfort me.
"You're not just doing it for me, right?" Nate asked and there was a vulnerable tremble in his words.
"Even if I did, then that would be okay because I'm allowed to go things for you, silly. But no, I want to spend my life with you, Nate. We're nearly at our three-year anniversary and my life with you in it has been more wonderful that I could ever imagine. I'm not planning on letting you go, mister."
"Good because I feel the same way, milady," Nate said and I couldn't help but smile at the silly old nickname that he used so rarely now but had used to say all the time in the beginning. It was a reminder that even as we'd changed and our love had strengthened, we were still just two kids trying to figure out this crazy world.
We would just have the privilege of doing it alongside each other.
********
Look at me missing an update day again and being a week late. :( Sorry, but to make up for it, I've decided to write an extra little piece of bonus content from Nate's POV to go up on next Saturday. It'll be what he thinks and feels during the outdoor scene where Abbey promises to marry him some day. I'll really try my best for no more delays but you know, exams and life and such. I hope you enjoyed this sappy wedding chapter anyway. It wouldn't make sense to have Nate and Abbey's wedding in the book (they are not ready yet), but I still wanted all the wedding emotions. Thank you for reading and sticking with the story.
Schedule for the last of this book:
27th of May: Bonus content with Nate's POV of this chapter
3rd of June: Last official chapter of Becoming a YouTuber?!
10th fo June: Epilogue and exactly 3 years after I uploaded the beginning of this story.
Man, it's going to be difficult to say goodbye to these characters.