-a few years later-
I remembered the day I escaped the unusual life I was living for many months. Many had asked me where I've gone off to. I moved to Colorado to get away from my old life and start a new one. I'm not alone anymore and I have put all of my attention on Ella. My four year old daughter. Remembering that day so vividly. She was born on December 21st. And was my early Christmas gift. Although I tried running from my past I've been reminded about it everyday because of Ella. Don't get me wrong I love her to death. but she carries characteristics of her father...
Those bright blue eyes I fell in love with all those years ago.
The nose is his. The eyes are mine. The hair is mine. Some days those flashbacks come back as it fills me with the same emotion I felt all those years ago. The feeling of tiredness, exhaustion, pain, love...
I've finished collage early just so I could take care of Ella. So I could go to all of the school events with her. Be able to pick her up everyday from school. I'll work at home so I can spend my free time with her. My whole life revolves around her, and I love it.
Sure I've been trying to find someone who could fill that void Ella would need. A father figure. Nothing ever works out when you already have a kid. You can't put them before your own child. Which makes i difficult. I actually thought about giving Ella up for adoption when she was born. But once she opened up her eyes for the first time I knew that I couldn't just let her go.
It was another day of waiting behind many cars that are waiting to pick up their kids. When I get at the front of the like I'm greeted by the workers who handle the kids.
"She was great today," the lady says helping Ella into the back seat.
"Great! See you tomorrow," I say waving and driving out of the busy school.
"How was school?" I ask looking at the rear view mirror looking at Ella who is staring out the window.
"It was fun. Tomorrow it's a class party!" She says excitedly.
Class party. Shit. I still need to buy something for her class. I ask all of those questions you would ask your child everyday after school until we reach the grocery store. I carry Ella in my arms until I'm able to place her into the cart that has a seat in it. While she looks down at my phone plays games I push the cart around the large store. Looking at all of the different things I could possibly need. I walk alway from the cart for a few moments while I walk down the aisle. Scanning through every drop.
"I'm Ella," I hear Ella laugh behind me. I turn around to see a man handing Ella my phone that had dropped on the ground. I quickly rush over to the cart terrified about her getting hurt.
"Sorry about that," I say putting my hands on the handles of the cart. I look up at the man to see a very familiar face. Like nothing has changed face still the same. Same blue eyes.
It was Dennis. Or at least one of the personalities. I gasp as I realize who it is. I quickly pick Ella out of the cart and into my arms.
"I'm sorry. I have to go," I say before quickly walking off with a clueless Ella in my arms.
"Why are we leaving?" She asks holding onto me. Adrenaline ran through my body. I didn't know how to react. I couldn't say anything nor think in that moment. Until I got to the safety of my car. I sat in the seat for a few minutes before I started the car up. I look back at Ella who has put her attention back on the phone. Gathering my thoughts I drive away from the store.
Memories flash back into my mind as I've tried keeping them at bay all this time. I felt so paranoid that I just had to go straight home and make sure no one was following me. Now in the safety of my home I was able to take my attention off of Ella and go back to my thoughts.
How did he find me? How is this even possible? I've been running from my problems my whole life that I don't know what to do when one of my insecurities resurface.
What do I say to him if I encounter him again. I mean he doesn't know about Ella being his child.
"Can you help me?" Ella asks behind me. I turn around clearing the thoughts from my head and putting a smile on my face. She holds out a homework paper.
"Sure," I say reading the paper.
After finishing homework with Ella I look for my phone. Possibly I could do something that could calm my nerves.
"Hey Ella? Where's my phone?" I ask looking around the room.
She runs up to me with my phone then quickly runs off after handing it over to me. I unlock my phone. Since I don't have a passcode on it so it's easier for me.
It immediately opens up to notes. I read what is written there. Thinking that it was Ella who had written it.
Call me please. 215-272-2920
I create a new message with this number. I already knew who this was. But doing this made my palms sweat as I slowly typed my message.
Grant Park tomorrow at 5pm. Don't be late.
Right after I send the text I block the number just so I'm not distracted by anything. After that I'm able to relax and let everything play out. Don't get me wrong I'm terrified. But I've gotta get over my fears. Right?
I start cooking dinner and doing what I usually do not thinking about anything.
The next day I've arranged my close friend to pick up Ella from school so I don't have to worry about picking her up. As the time grew closer and closer to the time I'm suppose to meet him. I start to get anxious. I just want to get this over with.
I decide to start going a bit early. I wait in my car that overlooks the entire park. The sun well below the horizon but still lighting up the sky. As time goes by faster I slowly make my way out of my car. Being cautious about anyone following me. Still my paranoia high. I walk on the gravel path to a flattened our area of the park. My heart is racing as five o'clock rolls around.
I straighten out my jacket and shirt. I look around to see no one coming up. Possibly he just never got my text. Or just didn't know who I was. I promised myself not to wait here for a long time. Only ten minutes and that's all. I decide not to be looking around and just keep to myself. Just so I don't draw attention to myself. I twiddle with my thumbs as I nervously takes a deep breath. I close my eyes as I can't stand the silence anymore. Somehow I just wished someone would show up. So I could fix things. Possibly answer some questions. I ran through every scenario that could happen. All the questions that could be asked of me. And I had every answer ready.
Just as I announce to myself that no one is going to show up I start to slowly prepare myself for disappointment. Staring off into the tree line. I was daydreaming but I had no idea on what I was thinking about. I felt my mind go numb as I was unaware on what was going on around me. Soft footsteps behind me were heard but I didn't have a reaction. Finally I snap out of the trance I was in and got back to reality.
I look around me. Behind me, there he was. For what I thought I was prepared for this very moment, I had forgotten everything I was practicing for.
It was just me and him. I couldn't stand thinking of Dennis or anyone. It hurt me too much.
"Sorry, I'm uh. Late. Couldn't really find this place," he says looking at me.
I didn't know what to say. All I could do was just stay silent. I was frozen.
"Look I understand if you don't want me here. You left for a reason. To get away," he says taking a few more steps closer to me.
"I didn't mean to hurt any of you. I-I just didn't want to be on a constant lookout for a threat," I say defending myself. There was uneasiness between us. We haven't spoken in years and I've wondered what has happened.
"That wasn't a place for you. But I only have one question," he asks.
I nod my head ready for his question. Hoping it is one that I've already answered to myself.
There was a bit of hesitation before he spoke.
"Is, the child that you were with. Is it the baby you had before you left?" He asks nervously. I sigh as I don't want to disappoint anyone. I meet his eyes again as I feel the buildup of tears from in my eyes due to stress.
I nod as I feel a tear slide down my face. Dennis' expression softens for a brief moment before putting his guard up again.
"I'm sorry," I mutter feeling more warm tears slide down my face. I knew that I had let everyone down. I should've taken the advice of other people and just gave her up for adoption. It was my fault and I was ready to take the blame.
Omg I'm so sorry for not updating 😂 I have a busy week and yeah. I honestly don't know where I want to go with this story but if you have any suggestions message me! And I'm so sorry AHAHHA this massive time skip oh lord. I know it hurt me too. But thanks for sticking around! Also I have my special day coming up this friday so I'll share some pictures of all of us in dresses and whatnot.
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-llvevo
(My apologies if anything doesn't make sense or any spelling errors. Didn't review it)