Devin smiled as she stretched her arms out and breathed in the fresh air, enjoying the woody smell of growing things and earth. The pale, gentle sunlight filtering down through the treetops from the grey English sky above felt good on her face. Being from the South, she still wasn't quite used to the much cooler autumn weather in the UK, but it was a nice change from the usual warm and humid climate they had to deal with back in Louisiana. And the colors were fantastic! The red, gold, and brown foliage in the magical Forest of Dean was absolutely gorgeous. They hardly ever got to see the leaves change like this back home. She pulled out her cell phone and started taking pictures. She wished her dad could see it too. He was a huge Tolkien fan, and this forest was also supposedly where the famed author of the Lord of the Rings trilogy (soon to be a movie) had come for inspiration... or something like that. She could have sworn he had said something to that effect before.
"I can't believe you're taking pictures of trees," her friend Kitty commented while she tried to scrape some of the mud clinging to her black pleather boots off onto an exposed root. "We can see those anywhere. Let's go check out that Hay-town place or the Caldicot Castle thing."
"But we just got here," said Devin, frowning slightly in disappointment. "Besides, wasn't taking a hike through the forest your idea?"
"That was before I remembered that my chief outdoor activity is going back inside," Kitty deadpanned, slightly chagrined at herself. She had thought it would be fun to see the forest where Harry and the gang hid while on the run from Voldemort, but she wasn't as a much of a 'flower-child' as Devin, so staring at colorful leaves and dirt and getting sore feet weren't exactly her idea of a good time. "I wanna see the castle now. I hear they're supposed to have ghosts and everything."
"We can see those anywhere, too," Devin replied with a wry smile. You couldn't throw a stone without hitting something that was reputedly haunted in southeastern Louisiana.
"But these have an accent," answered Kitty with a bright grin.
"Oh, all right, but I want to finish this trail first. We're almost at the river," Devin agreed while she continued to walk, deciding to humor her impatient friend. To be honest, she found the idea of British-accented ghosts somewhat amusing, even though it was only natural since they were in England. Still, accents were fun.
"What's it called again?" Kitty asked curiously, easily skipping ahead of her shorter-legged friend, walking backwards so she could face her. Devin smiled at her friend's antics and reached into her pocket to pull out the trail guide.
"I think it's supposed to be the Wye—Kitty, look out!" she shouted in surprise when she looked up again to see that her friend was about to walk backwards into the river. Instinctively, Devin reached out to grab the taller girl as Kitty's eyes widened when she felt herself begin to fall.
With a loud splash, the two girls found themselves submerged in the rushing cold water. Devin kept her eyes squeezed shut tightly while she held her breath and fought to keep hold of Kitty against the frightful way the unexpectedly strong current tossed them about. Devin gasped for air the moment she felt her head break through to the surface again.
"Devin!" shouted Kitty, spitting out some of the water that had gotten into her mouth. "I think—I think I can stand!" she said and tried to get her footing when they floated down to a less turbulent spot.
"Good, because it's definitely over my head!" said Devin. At four feet and eleven and a half inches she was practically hobbit-sized, whereas Kitty was more like an elf at her much more substantial height of five feet and seven inches. Together the two girls managed to scramble back onto dry land, shivering and soaking wet.
"What I wouldn't give for some warm clothes and a fire..." Devin muttered through chattering teeth.
"You mean like that?" asked Kitty, pointing to a campfire someone had set up just inside the treeline a few yards away from the river bank.
"Yeah, that'll do," Devin said, smiling wryly.
The two girls stood up, and tried to brush off as much mud as possible while they made their way towards the inviting warmth of the fire. "This reminds me of a story my parents used to read to me called 'Fortunately, Unfortunately'," Devin remarked as they sat down and tried to warm themselves. "Fortunately, it was a beautiful day for a hike in the woods. Unfortunately, we fell into a cold river. Fortunately, we found a fire as soon as we climbed out..."
"Unfortunately, that fire already belonged to someone else," a deep voice finished for her from behind.
"Wha—!?" the two girls exclaimed in surprise and alarm, jumping and whirling around to face its owner, who had caught them completely off guard. They found themselves staring up at an extremely tall man dressed from head to toe in dark clothes that made it appear as though he were cosplaying as some kind of rogue for a renaissance festival. His face remained hidden in the shadow of his hood. Where did this guy come from? He hadn't made a sound!
"Who are you? Are you some kind of ninja?" Kitty demanded suspiciously while clinging to Devin.
"Ninja? What is that?" asked the man, who they could see had a puzzled look when he removed his hood, revealing a somewhat worn but ruggedly handsome face. He had keen grey eyes, and his dark hair was peppered slightly with a couple grey strands here and there. It was clear he was sizing them up, assessing whether they might be a threat or not. Devin did not think he needed to be so wary of two sopping wet college girls, though she did have a taser in her backpack, if the fall in the river hadn't screwed it up.
Kitty stared at the man with an incredulous expression on her face. At first she had thought he might be joking but the genuine look of confusion on his own face while he took in their appearance proved him to be perfectly serious. Did this guy live under a rock?
"Um, hi... I'm Devin, and this is Kitty. I hope you don't mind if we share your fire for a few minutes, Mister...?" Devin ventured a little awkwardly when she remembered her manners, subtly hinting for him to fill in his own name.
"They call me 'Strider' around these parts," he answered somewhat cryptically, setting down the firewood he had just returned from collecting. The two girls appeared to be unarmed and seemed harmless enough, but their clothing and manner of speech were highly unusual and felt foreign to him; and one could never be too careful these days.
"Oh! I get it!" said Devin, lighting up when all of it seemed to click into place for her. "'Strider', as in Aragorn. You're dressed as a ranger. Are y'all doing some kind of LARP nearby or something? What are you doing, looking for hobbits?" Her smile faltered slightly when she saw the somewhat disturbed expression on his face before he fixed her with a steely glare.
"Who sent you?" he demanded evenly and placed a hand on the handle of his sword. How did they know his real name? How did they know he was looking Frodo Baggins? Did they know Gandalf or were they enemy spies? He knew Sauron's agents came in many forms.
"What?" asked Kitty, furrowing her brow a little while she stared up at him dubiously, wondering what Strider's problem was. Did this dude sustain a head injury recently or something?
"Whoa, wait. Just calm down. Nobody sent us," said Devin warily holding up her empty hands to show they meant no harm. "We don't want any trouble. I'm a Tolkien fan, too," she added with a hope to find some common ground to keep him from attacking. She really hoped this guy wasn't a—
"What is this 'Tolkien' of which you speak?" Strider asked in all seriousness, furrowing his brow further.
—nut job. He was a nut job. Of course he would be.
"Are you kidding me?" asked an unimpressed Kitty. Even she knew who that was, although she preferred Harry Potter. "Tolkien's the guy who wrote—mph!" She grunted in annoyance when Devin suddenly clapped a hand over her mouth and pulled her aside.
"Shh!" Devin hushed her friend urgently, pulling Kitty closer to pull her aside and whisper into her ear behind her hand. "We can't just tell him it's all a work of fiction. He obviously thinks he's the real Aragorn! Who knows how he'd react?"
"Well, what else are we supposed to do? Just play along?" whispered Kitty in response, raising an eyebrow as she glanced over her shoulder at the clearly delusional man, who was still eyeing them with suspicion.
"Yeah, at least until we can get out of this forest," Devin whispered with a nod for confirmation. "I'm not sure I even know where we are anymore. I thought we were only in the water for a minute or two, but this doesn't look familiar at all. We must have drifted pretty far. That guy might be crazy, but if he spends all his time playing ranger in here, then he might be able to lead us back to the trail," she reasoned.
"Ohh. Good thinking," Kitty whispered. "I was just gonna suggest we hit him over the head and run."
"We'd probably just end up even more lost," whispered Devin with a wry smile. "Just let me handle this, okay?" Kitty straightened up as they both turned back to face 'Strider' again. "Since you said they call you Strider 'around these parts' am I correct in thinking that we're somewhere near the village of Bree?"
Strider blinked at that. They did not know where they were? But they were right outside the Shire. They could only have just come from the River Baranduin (Brandywine). In fact, he had almost taken the smaller one for a hobbit until he noticed her feet were smaller than was usual for one and were shod in strange, bright blue shoes, the likes of which he had never seen before; and he had seen much over his long life as a ranger.
"Because, if we are near Bree, and you are looking for a certain hobbit in possession of a certain item as a favor to a certain grey wizard... we just might be able to help each other out," Devin said cryptically. "We're not your enemy. As you can probably tell from our foreign clothing, we are both strangers to this land. We're just two cold, wet, and lost girls looking for the nearest trace of civilization. We have no interest in the ring or its current owner or a lost king, but we do have a clue as to where you can find what you seek. If you help us get to the nearest village safely, then we'll tell you where to find them, deal?"
"How do I know I can trust you? This could be a trap for all I know," he said reasonably, holding her gaze.
"We have no proof of innocence beyond our own word," Devin replied calmly, returning his even stare with her own. "I'll leave that judgment up to you. But as I've said, we're strangers to this land. If you leave us alone out here we could very well die from hunger and exposure. I don't think you want our deaths on your conscience. You seem to have enough to worry about already." Kitty glanced between the two of them, watching silently as her petite friend stared down (or up) the possibly dangerous and paranoid delusional man before them.
"Very well," said Strider, allowing himself to relax a little around them. He finally removed his hand from his sword. "I shall escort the two of you to Bree. In return you shall tell me all the information you have on the hobbit I seek as well as how you came to know of my search for him." Although the ranger found it disconcerting that they seemed to already know so much about him and the ring-bearer, these two girls did not appear to be agents of Sauron. For one thing, the eyes of this girl, Devin, were too clear and honest for that. He glanced at Kitty, who was still eyeing him with no small amount of skepticism and staying protectively close to her smaller friend. She obviously did not trust him either. He kicked some dirt on the small fire to put it out. "Follow me." They would have to make haste if they wanted to reach the village by nightfall.
It was dark when they reached the village of Bree. It had also begun to rain, just when the girls were finally starting to get a little dry.
"Um... correct me if I'm wrong, but that wasn't there before, was it?" Kitty asked Devin, lowering her voice, while the two of them huddled together for warmth and stared up at the stone wall surrounding the village 'Strider' had led them to. Even though he ended up leading them back in pretty much the same direction they thought they had come from before falling into the river. But as Kitty had pointed out, none of this looked the slightest bit familiar to the two girls. Devin frowned. She didn't remember seeing anything like this on the map (which was ruined, by the way).
"This way," said Strider, leading them straight to the wall. He planned to use the cover of darkness to sneak the tree of them in unnoticed. He had his own reasons for not wanting his whereabouts recorded by the gatekeeper, and he doubted the two girls, harmless as they may appear, would be allowed in without extensive questioning; and he would rather certain pieces of knowledge in their possession remained secret.
"Um, about how tall would you say this wall is?" asked Devin, not entirely sure she would be able to climb over on her own. She had hopped one or two fences before, but those hadn't been slicked with rain.
"I'd say a little over 7ft. Want a lift?" Kitty responded casually.
"Sure, but I'll probably need someone to catch me on the other side. Can you get over by yourself?" Devin replied, concerned her friend might get stranded out there in the rain.
"Sure. I've done worse," answered Kitty with a shrug. "Hey, Strider, can you catch Devin? I'm gonna toss her over the wall since she's too short to jump this by herself."
"Are you certain? Perhaps I should be the one to 'toss' her over?" he suggested. Both girls deadpanned. He was clearly underestimating them.
"Yeah, we've got this," Devin told the disguised king. "You go on ahead. Be ready on the count of three." He gave the girls one last look before he jumped up and pulled himself over the wall in one swift motion and landed almost silently on the other side with only a very soft splash to indicate his presence.
"Okay, that was kind of cool," said Kitty in appreciation before turning to Devin. "You ready?"
"Am I ever not?" she replied with a smirk. Kitty smirked back. She just wished she could see the look on Strider's face when he saw what was about to happen. Kitty kneeled down and cupped her hands, allowing Devin to step into them.
"1..." Kitty counted. "2... 3...!" In one fluid motion, Kitty stood up and threw her cupped hands into the air while Devin jumped up to perform a midair flip over the wall that landed her securely in the waiting ranger's outstretched arms.
"Safe!" Devin declared and held up a 'V' for victory with her fingers as she flashed him a fish-eating grin. Her many years of cheerleading had paid off.
Strider blinked again and stared at the petite girl in his arms while Kitty jumped up and somehow managed to climb over the wall to join them (albeit not with quite the same amount of grace as the spry ranger). He had certainly not been expecting that. There was more to these girls than meets the eye. Perhaps they were traveling performers of a kind? It would certainly explain their strange clothing and the feat of agility the little one had just demonstrated.
"Now, tell me where I can find the hobbit I seek and how you came to know all that you spoke of to me before," he said firmly and set the girl in his arms down on her own two feet, cutting straight to the chase.
"Are you sure you want to talk out here?" asked Devin casting around a cautious glance. It was dark and the rain poured down, but she could still make out a number of people moving about in the main street several feet away. She thought it odd that not a single one of them appeared to be carrying an umbrella.
Strider followed her gaze and thought better of it. The small girl was right. You could never be too careful. He nodded in approval of her caution. "Come. I know a place where we can talk and get out of the rain," he said, leading them to the main street.
Kitty grimaced when she stepped in a particularly deep mud puddle. She knew some areas of England could be rustic, but these streets weren't even cobbled. She suspected he had led them to some kind of medieval tourist trap, because everyone was dressed like they had just come from RenFest. Kitty seriously had to do a double-take when two midgets with larger than average bare feet dashed in front of her to slip through the gap that had opened up between her and her companions to cross the busy street. There was just no way... Those had to be the most realistic hobbit costumes ever. She shook her head and quickly caught up with the others.
"OMG, Devin, you'll never guess what I just saw!" said Kitty, almost bumping into her short friend when she suddenly stopped short. "What?" she asked wondering what had made her pause. Devin simply raised her arm and pointed up at the sign for the practically medieval inn Strider had led them to. The door was open and light streamed out of it. Above the arch was a lamp, and beneath it swung a large signboard that was carved in the image of a fat white pony reared up on its hind legs. Over the door was painted in white letters: the Prancing Pony by Barliman Butterbur. The two girls exchanged a somewhat bewildered look before following the ranger inside. Their eyes nearly popped out of their heads when they saw the scene that awaited them within. There were even more 'hobbits' mixed in among the crowd of humans, and there were even some dwarves scattered about here and there. Devin blinked and glanced questioningly at Kitty, wondering if she was really seeing what she thought she was seeing. Kitty answered with a slow nod, confirming that this was in fact happening for real.
"Are we being punked or something?" Devin whisper-yelled in an effort to be heard above the noisy din of the packed inn without drawing too much unwanted attention as they weaved their way through the crowd to catch up with Strider, who was already conversing with a burly but rather friendly-faced man with rosy cheeks. The man was looking at their guide with a very open and mixed expression of suspicion and apprehension, but he took the ranger's money and began leading him away from the main common room.
"Come," said Strider, gesturing for them to follow before they were left behind.
"Maybe they're filming a movie?" Kitty suggested lamely as they followed the two men up some stairs, doubting her own suggestion with the lack of noticeable cameras and crew that would be needed for such a thing.
"Kitty, everyone knows they're supposed to be setting up 'Middle Earth' in New Zealand," Devin stated in a very matter-of-fact manner thinking that information should have been common knowledge.
"Well, what else could it be? This is way too elaborate for some cheesy candid camera show!" Kitty hissed, beginning to feel nervous. "Even the smell is authentic."
"What was that?" the man, whom Devin guessed was supposed to be Butterbur, asked sparing a glance back in their direction while he unlocked the door to the private room Strider had rented for them to continue their discussion in.
"Oh, um, we were just saying what a nice place you've got here," said Devin quickly. She didn't want to piss off the locals until they knew more about whatever was going on. Butterbur eyed them a bit skeptically, probably because they looked so out of place compared to the rest of his customers, and also probably because they were with Strider. He hadn't cared much for the ranger in the book either.
"Well, I'll be downstairs if' you'll be needin' anything else. But try hollering for Nob if you do. As you can see, we're more crowded than usual downstairs," he told the ranger before brushing past the girls to leave.
"Ah, excuse me!" Devin called after the man, stopping him. "What's today's date?"
"Why, September the 29th, of course," he replied with certainty.
"And the year?" she pressed, furrowing her brow slightly.
"3018," he answered, furrowing his own brow. It was one thing to loose track of the days, but the years? "Now, begging your pardon miss, but I have to get back downstairs," he excused himself with only a brief nod of his head to her before he continued on his way.
"Let me guess, Mr. Butterbur?" Devin asked Strider while she and Kitty stared after the retreating man, stunned by what they had just heard. There had been no lie in the man's eyes. He genuinely believed they were in the year 3018 of the Third Age of Middle Earth. That meant either the entire town was full of crazies, or something in the universe was seriously out of whack.
"Yes," replied Strider calmly as he reached for the door and held it open for them to step inside, thinking she simply must have read the sign above the door and used common sense to figure out that they had been speaking with the owner. Once they were all inside he shut the door. "Now talk."
"Don't look at me," said Kitty defensively and glanced at Devin. She was the real Lord of the Rings geek.
"Well, I suppose we'll start of with the simplest part, which is where you can find Frodo Baggins. He'll be coming to this very inn sometime tonight with three other hobbits looking for Gandalf, but they won't find him, so they're gonna need your help," Devin explained as calmly as she could before she felt the need to pause and take a breath. Now for the awkward part. "As for how we came to know this information..." She glanced briefly at her friend before turning back to the ranger. He was watching her carefully with a piercing gaze. She thought he would probably be able to tell if she was lying, so she decided it would be better to stick to the truth as much as possible. "We come from a place far, far away from here, where there is a very special book containing legends and portents pertaining to these lands. We know of the Ring and what it will mean if the Enemy gets his hands on it, and we have no intention of letting that happen. We just want to get home, but there are certain... complications," she concluded vaguely.
"Such as being lost?" Strider asked with one eyebrow raised. He could tell there was more to her enigmatic answer than she was letting on, but everything she had been willing to tell him seemed to be the truth.
"Well, that's part of it..." Devin replied with a hint of hesitation. She didn't want to go into too much detail until she learned more about the situation.
"Very well," said the ranger after a moment. It was clear that he would not get any more from her for the moment. "If you ladies will pardon me, I believe I had better go back to the common room to wait for our hobbits to arrive," he said to excuse himself and left the room. The two girls had the room to themselves.
"Okay... So what's going on, and what's with all the secrecy? Why didn't you just tell him we're from the real world?" Kitty asked with crossed arms once they were sure he had really gone. " 'Cause that's where we are, right? The Tolkien-verse? It totally breaks the laws of physics, but it would explain everything we've seen since falling into the river."
"Oh my God, Kitty—we can't just go around telling these people they're fictional characters!" Devin exclaimed in a low voice even though they were alone, shooting her friend a look of exasperation. It was a good thing Kitty had let her do all the talking, or who knows what might have happened.
"Why not?" Kitty inquired innocently. She really didn't see the problem.
"Well, think about it. How would you feel if some stranger came up and said that to you? How would you react?" Devin asked with a reasonable tone.
"I'd call 911 and have their crazy ass thrown into the loony bin," Kitty answered without skipping a beat.
"Exactly," said Devin as she crossed the room to look out the window. "We can't tell him the whole truth, or he'll think we're nuts."
"So you agree with me that we're in some alternate world? I know we're both Doctor Who fans, but I expected a little more resistance on your part to such an illogical idea," Kitty stated honestly.
"It's crazy, but not completely illogical..." Devin replied a bit absently while she stared out the window at the night sky. She frowned at what she saw, or rather, what she didn't see. "Look," she said, stepping back so Kitty could come have a look for herself. "Notice anything odd about the sky?"
"You can totally see a million stars out there?" Kitty asked with her brow furrowed slightly. Was this really the time to be stargazing?
"Yeah. That, and the constellations are completely screwed up," Devin said, shaking her head and pinching the bridge of her nose. She could feel a stress headache coming on. "None of them are where they're supposed to be. We're looking at a totally different sky! Building a town and filling it full of people in elaborate costumes is one thing, but they can't rearrange the stars. We are definitely not in Kansas anymore."