I sat in my room just staring out the window, I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep, my grandma worried about me. Megan would come and sit with me, all I did was cry . They would force food into me, I just wanted to die. God hated me, I didn't know why but for some reason I must have done something wrong. Why else would all of these things be happening to me. I have lost everyone I cared about and loved.
Except Grandma and Luke, at least they were still here, I just want to lay down and die. My heart can't keep getting hurt like this, next time it won't survive another heart ache. I want to believe that Jake is innocent but he married her. Now I spend a life without my Jake.
As the days go by and the first snow fell, I started to venture out of my room. It had been a month since that fateful night, I just kept going. Megan smiled " I am so happy you came down today Lizzie."
I just stared" I am hungry, I feel like I could eat a horse." I went to the Kitchen and went to the food cupboard. I found sliced bread and cheese, I made a sandwich and went to sit in the dining room.
Grandma smiled" you want a glass of milk to go with that?"
I was to busy stuffing my face so I nodded. She came back with a glass of fresh milk," slow down there you don't want to choke."
I swallowed the huge mouth full, and drank the milk down. I was breathing in and then all of a sudden I felt nauseous. I got up and ran out the door to the privy, I tossed my cookies. Megan followed behind me with a towel. She waited just out the door" you must have ate to fast, come back in and we can get you some broth to sip."
I nodded" Thanks, I was just so hungry I couldn't help myself."
Megan wrapped my shawl around my shoulders" well we will get you fixed up, come on in and sit down and rest." We walked to the kitchen arm in arm, I could see the look on my grandma's face. It was the kind of look like "oh no" . I was flabbergasted what does she know that I don't? I don't feel so good hope I haven't got the flu.
Megan pulled a chair out for me to sit down in, I was kind of scared because of Grandma. Annie walked in to the dinningroom and felt Lizzie's head" well you don't have a fever, I think I know what is going on."
I looked worried" What is wrong with me?"
Annie nodded" I am not saying cause I hope and pray I am wrong, we will give it a few days before we call the doctor."
I didn't like to hear that cause if I was sick wouldn't I have a fever? I looked at Megan " do you know what she is talking about?"
She shook her head" no idea what she knows, but it is kind of frightening though."
I nodded in agreement" I am terrified of finding out what it is she knows." We both sat there as I sipped my broth, and think about what Grandma thinks is wrong with me. I sure hope that I wasn't dying cause I didn't want to now.
As days went by I was getting sick every morning, I would even get sick at night. It really depended on what I ate, I looked green so Megan says. Grandma would keep on shaking her head and glare at the distance. Something was wrong with me how can someone not die from being this sick.
I know that I survived Yellow fever, but this was not fun at all. I think I would take yellow fever again over this. One day Grandma called Megan downstairs" Megan could you please come down here please!" Megan jumped up " coming Annie, I hope I am not in trouble."
I smiled" she didn't call your full name so your good." We smiled to each other, Megan went downstairs to find Annie.
Annie was pacing the floor" how could this happen to my granddaughter?"
She paced again" I am going to make a visit to see a Mr. Jake Hugh's, and it ain't gonna be a civil visit either."
As she waited for Megan to come down, she had to act fast. Megan came around the corner and walked in the room" Yes Annie?"
Annie nodded" we need to get a doctor, if my suspicions are correct we need one from the next town over."
Megan nodded" okay but Dr. Hudson is a good doctor why not get him?"
Annie shook her head" because if I am correct, Lizzie is going to have to disappear for a while."
Megan still didn't understand" Okay I can ride over there right now and get the town doctor if you would like?"
Annie nodded" Yes that would be good, and bring the midwife too."
Then it dawned on Megan" you think Lizzie is pregnant?"
Annie nodded" I think she is all the signs are there the morning sickness is the biggest sign."
Megan shook her head " oh poor Lizzie, what is she going to do?"
Annie shook her head" I don't know, but I will do what I can for her."
Megan hugged Annie" she is going to be devastated if she is."
Annie nodded" I know, but we will deal with that when we cross that bridge when we get there."
Megan grabbed her shawl " I will be as quick as I can, I will be back this afternoon with both of them."
Annie nodded" just be careful dear I don't want nothing to happen to you."
Megan smiled' I will be careful, just pray that I have swift wings to guide me there and back." Megan walked out the door as she tied her hat on, Annie watched as she rode down the drive towards New Market.
I didn't know what was going on, but something was. Megan left to go get the doctor, and Grandma was being secretive. I didn't like this feeling that something was going to happen. I don't think it is going to be something I will like, I wanted to just get this over with. I didn't like to be surprised when it came to the doctor.
I sat and ate my broth as I patiently waited for Megan to get back. It was hours later when she should up with two people, I assumed that one was the doctor and his wife. Why would he bring his wife? Maybe they thought that I had something that was contagious and didn't want to have it spread. I watched as they climbed out of the buggy, and followed Megan into the house. Annie nodded" Doctor, I am sure Megan has told you what is going on?"
He nodded" yes she filled us both in on the drive here, I am positive it is what you think it is."
Annie moaned" no it can't be she will be ruined."
Doctor Hastings nodded" I will give her a once over to confirm the diagnosis."
I didn't like what I was hearing, I must have something that is going to disfigure me. Then I heard another voice" I will assist the doctor, and decide the course of action." Annie nodded" she is upstairs in her room, I will take you to her." They followed Annie up the winding staircase to Lizzie's room. Annie nodded" she is right in there, I will open the door for you."
My door came open as I was standing by the window looking out. Annie looked at me" Honey this is Doctor Hastings and Mrs. Richardson, they have come to check on what is ailing you dear." I smiled" I sure hope it isn't to serious." I watched as my grandma closed the door and then the examination began.
Not long after they finished they both walked over to the corner of the room. They were talking in hushed tones, I couldn't make out what they were saying. Then Mrs. Richardson went to the door and motioned for grandma to come in. I sat on my bed and waited for the prognosis of what I had. As Grandma and Megan entered the room, the doctor began.
He shook his head" well we both agre, that your granddaughter is going to have a baby late spring." I couldn't believe my ears" what did you just say? I didn't quite catch that?" My grandma began to cry,
Megan consoled her" it will be okay, Annie we will have to be here for her now more than ever."
I shouted " Excuse me can someone please tell me what is wrong with me!" Mrs. Richardson came over to me and sat down, she begin to pat me on my back. She was very straight forward" dear you are going to have a baby late spring time, early summer."
I turned pale white and fainted dead away, My grandma screamed" LIZZIE!" She ran to my side and cried, Megan thanked the doctor and Mrs,Richardson, and made arrangements for them to take the buggy back to town.
I came to a little later, I saw my grandma sitting in a chair beside my bed. I stretched " I had a nightmare grandma, in this nightmare a doctor came to tell me I was having a baby." I smiled up at her" isn't that the craziest dream you have ever heard?
Annie looked at her granddaughter" Honey, it wasn't a dream you are really having Jake's baby."
I turned pale again" no I can't be, I don't have a husband because he isn't mine to have anymore."
Annie patted me on my shoulder" I know honey, we'll get through this as best as we can."
I moaned" why does God seem to be picking on me?"
Annie shook her head" he isn't dear, you played with fire and got burnt." I
looked at her" I am so sorry grandma and if you don't want me here I will leave."
Annie shook her head" you are staying right here, I love you and won't hear of you leaving."
I shook my head " but I will put shame on you if I stay."
Annie nodded" yes but I am willing to be here for you, besides it isn't your fault entirely."
I nodded" it wouldn't have happened if Jake wasn't so good looking and my soul mate."
Annie smiled" I am sure, but now we have to keep you healthy and the baby healthy."
I nodded" I know, I just don't want you mad at me Grandma."
Annie smiled' well I was at first but I have gotten over it, besides we're gonna give them old gossips something new to talk about."
I smiled" I don't want to be a burden on you, I will take care of my own baby."
Annie smiled' but honey you are going to be surrounded by loved ones who are going to want to help take care of this baby."
I nodded' I know but I want you to be proud of me not disappointed in me."
Annie smiled' you are a strong woman, and you have never disappointed me not once."
I nodded' yes I did when I got pregnant."
Annie nodded" yes for a moment, but I got over it real quick."
I hugged her " I love you Grandma, I am so happy to be here with you."
Annie started to cry" I am so happy you came." We hugged each other for a while before Megan came to find us for dinner
I was pacing the floor wondering if I should tell Jake or not. Half of me knew I should, but the other half didn't because of who he was married too. I wondered if he thought about me at least once since this happened. I hear that Amber is already showing, People say she is having twins. I knew better, it was because she was already pregnant for a bit before she could Set her plan in motion. I made up my mind I was going to tell him, I just needed to go over to his new job and tell him.
Definitely tomorrow I would go to town for some material and go and tell him. I hope this one time things would go well, and not the opposite effect. Megan and David had set a date, December 24, 1878. I was to be her maid of honor, and Jake is to be the best man.
I was asked how I felt about seeing Jake. I nodded" well we live in the same town so I am just gonna have to swallow my pride and just do it."
Megan smiled' Thank you, David wanted to have his brother as his best man."
I nodded " well that is way it is suppose to be, I can be in the same room as he is."
Jake was going to have his annoying wife with him there was not going to be the best part.of the celebration. She just got on everyone's nerves, but that is David's sister-in-law. I didn't have to stay for it all, besides I had the perfect excuse. " I am having a baby."