Carmilla orbs into the living room, frowning when it's empty. She heads towards the bedroom and chuckles when she finds Laura curled up in bed, snoring softly, her hair blowing from her breath in the afternoon sunlight.
She kneels next to Laura's side and presses a kiss against Laura's cheek. "Psst. Cutie."
Laura cracks one eye open and closes it again. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes," she mumbles.
"Right back atcha," Carmilla comments, watching in amusement as Laura stretches with a yawn. Laura rolls over a bit so there's room for Carmilla on the bed, as well.
Carmilla grins and wraps her arms around Laura, pulling her flush against her.
Laura lets out a squeal and giggles, rubbing her face into Carmilla's shoulder. "Someone's feeling snuggly."
Carmilla hums in reply and they stay like this for a while, enjoying the silence.
Which Laura obviously has to break.
"So... what did the Elders say?" Laura asks.
Carmilla sighs. "According to their weird math, and the amount of good beings reported missing from Magic School... Vordenberg should almost have the numbers he needs to match what you'd give Lophiiformes."
Laura swallows hard. "Carm... Look, I spoke to your mother, and she says that after the ritual, souls move on to the happy place. The good place. Not condemned to torture in Hell, or anything." Laura tries to keep her tone light. "So... I-I know you don't want to hear this, but... I think it's time to release your Mother and––"
"No," Carmilla interrupts. She untangles herself from Laura and pulls back, staring her in the eyes. "We still have time. We're not sacrificing you."
Laura sits up, biting her lip. "Carm..."
"No." Carmilla stands and shakes her head. "No." She orbs out, leaving Laura to flop back down on the bed with a groan.
~*~
"I don't know what you want me to tell you," Mattie says after letting Carmilla ramble for a while. "Time is running out. Mother and Laura need to do the sacrifice to save us all. I think we'd all rather have a few thousand demons hanging around being nuisances, than for Hell to break loose for all of eternity."
Carmilla drops her head into her hands. "It's just... It's too soon. I just found Laura and I feel like half of our time was spent with us focused on this sacrifice and not enough time was spent with us being together."
Mattie stares at Carmilla with an unreadable expression for a few moments before she lets out a long exasperated exhale. "Oh, god." She reaches around her neck and removes a locket, holding it out for Carmilla.
"Why are you giving me your heart locket?" Carmilla asks.
Mattie rolls her eyes and puts it on Carmilla. "I wear it as a reminder of what I've lost. But maybe it'll do more than that for you."
Carmilla hesitantly takes it, still looking puzzled.
"It helps you remember the good parts of your relationship easier and more vividly. Shrouds the bad memories and lets you focus on the positive," Mattie explains. "Got it from some old Zen monk centuries ago."
"But why did the monk think you needed it?" Carmilla asks. Mattie had never spoken about her past before and, outside of her dealings with the Dean, Carmilla didn't know much about her other activities.
Mattie chuckles and kisses Carmilla on the cheek. "Not in this story, sis. Not the time." She gives a dismissive wave. "Now, go on. Your little quiche doesn't have forever."
Carmilla hugs Mattie and orbs out, into Laura's bedroom. It's empty, but she can hear voices coming from the living room. She hovers in the doorway, listening.
"Laura Eileen Hollis, stop trying to justify the fact that you are trying to sacrifice yourself! We agreed––"
"No, you agreed," Laura fires back coldly. "What do you expect me to do? In the course of my lifetime, you've protected me from polyester––"
"They have carcinogens, they leech into your skin."
"Swimming holes."
"The amoeba that eats your brains!"
"And my class trip to Clownville?"
"That place is a cultural Chernobyl!"
Carmilla snorts at hearing Laura and her father bicker. If memory serves, he was supposed to be leaving for a flight for his new movie set soon. Clearly he was prioritizing his daughter's impending prophesized death.
"We're not talking about you eating candy corn for dinner. Which you definitely also never do. We are talking about you crawling into a pit with a god in charge of the gates of Hell! With a woman who has been trying to convince you to sacrifice yourself repeatedly even while confined in a crystal cage while you hang out with her henchmen."
Carmilla hears Laura take a deep breath. "Okay, yeah, when you put it that way, it sounds kinda bad. But you know the coven and Carmilla have my back."
There's a pause and Carmilla assumes he's giving Laura a pointed look.
"Yeah, I feel much better about that," he snaps before a long, exasperated sigh. "This is exactly why they kill off parents off in those movies, I swear. Because if those poor slobs had to watch what their children actually do, they'd go mad, alright?"
"Dad..." The floorboards creak as Laura takes a step towards him. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you worry, I just... I don't want you to be so scared for me all the time."
"It's too late. When I think about what can happen to you..." His voice cracks and trails off as Laura sighs.
"Dad. The world needs to be saved. And I-I'm already not sure if I'm the one who can save it. Who can fix all of this," Laura says softly.
He lets out another long exhale and this time he takes a step towards her.
"No one knows how to save the world when they're nineteen years old. Some of us are a lot older than that, and we still haven't figured it out."
Carmilla steps further through the doorway so she can see into the living room.
Laura shrugs. "Guess I'd still like to try. I mean, I know it's not like the movies you're in. But there has to be some way, doesn't there? Even if it's harder than you thought? Even if you don't know if you can get it right?"
His face softens. Laura sits in a chair near him and he takes a deep breath.
"Do you remember when you were six and I crashed the car?"
Laura bunches up her face with a confused chuckle. "Weird segue, dad."
"Bear with me?" he pleads rhetorically. "It was a normal summer day and we were driving home form the grocery store with our popsicles. Some kid took the curve way too fast and came right into our lane. And I woke up with my head on the steering wheel and my broken legs and the car was already filling up with smoke. You had this goose egg on your head. You were in the front seat, just wailing away, and all I could think was that you needed to get away from me. You just needed to get out before you suffocated from all that smoke. But you wouldn't do it. You stayed there, in the passenger seat, just wailing away, rolling down the windows–– screaming, screaming, screaming. The paramedics came and they said you probably saved my life."
He pauses as Laura takes this in.
"And even then, you were willing to risk your life for someone else. Without powers or a whitelighter or spells. And that has terrified me for a long time."
Carmilla steps forward, no longer caring whether they can see her.
"We tried to lock you away from it all, your mother and I. Keep you out of Magic School day care and out of the coven house as much as possible. We thought we were helping you." He shakes his head. "But that day I realized that I can't just lock you away. And after your mother died, it was just not an option. And I still wish I could. Oh, I really, really, really wish I could. But I can't. I can't control everything that happens to you, so..."
Laura's eyes well up, but she remains quiet.
"What I should have been doing is finding other ways to... Just helping you. Supporting your magical abilities to protect yourself and those around you. Hearing you out." He nods slowly. "I-If... If what you need from me is to tell you that you can save the world in the face of a decision that's this hard... That you can make it all right... Then I believe in you, Laura. I'm sorry if I never made you feel like I did, but I love you and I believe in you."
Laura leaps out of her chair and grabs her father in a tight hug.
She pulls away with a sniffle. "Thanks," she says in a whisper.
He gives her one more warm squeeze. Then he turns his attention to Carmilla.
"You keep an eye on her for as long as you can, okay?"
"Yes, sir," Carmilla says, offering her hand. "I will."
"Alright."
He slings his bag over his shoulder and grabs his suitcase. "Keep me posted?"
"Of course," Laura says.
He nods and waves goodbye. "I'm so proud of you," he says, choking up as he leaves for his car.
Laura watches him leave through the front window before she returns to the living room. She sits on the chair with a sniffle. Carmilla quietly walks away, heading to the kitchen.
A few minutes later, she returns with a mug of hot chocolate and hands it to Laura, who takes it with a grateful smile. "I, uhm... Think we should talk," Laura says after taking a sip.
Carmilla nods and sits on the arm. "I know. But before we do that, can you put this on?" She pulls out Mattie's locket.
Laura stares at it, confused. "You bought me jewelry?"
"No," Carmilla says with a chuckle. "It's from Mattie. It's enchanted to help her focus on good memories instead of the bad ones. Not that we have a whole lot of bad ones."
Laura laughs softly and takes it. "Okay, it couldn't hurt." She puts it on and takes Carmilla's hand in hers. "But we need to talk about h––"
Whoosh.
Laura's head spins and she somehow ends up on the floor, the pain of landing only compounded by a befuddled Carmilla landing on top of her.
"What the fuzzy hell is this?" Carmilla groans.
"Ow."
Carmilla's eyes widen and she rolls off Laura, helping her to her feet with an apologetic pout.
"Where are we?" Laura asks as they both squint through the dark haze around them. "It kinda looks familiar."
"Whoa," Carmilla breathes out, pointing to another version of themselves.
A Laura and Carmilla from the past are seen standing in the distance.
Past Laura spins to look at Past Carmilla. "Carm?"
"I leave you alone for a couple weeks and you manage to get yourself killed," Past Carmilla says jokingly.
Past Laura rolls her eyes. "What are you doing here?"
"Well... I was squatting in your dad's house when some angry redheaded string bean burst in, screaming at me to heal you because it's against the rules for the other whitelighters to do it," Past Carmilla explains. "And you know me–– rules meant to be broken and all that. And I gotta do everything in my power to keep you around."
The Angel of Death appears. "I do believe I requested you to let this one live a bit longer," he comments to Past Carmilla.
"Oh! This is when I got sick and almost died and you saved me," Laura whispers.
"Yeah. I got that, cutie," Carmilla drawls. "It was just supposed to help focus our energies. I don't think we were supposed to have a whole-body experience with Mattie's locket."
Laura shrugs. "Must be my powers?"
"Yeah, no, you're not taking her," Past Carmilla replies. "Not as long as I have anything to say about it."
"Thank goodness," the Angel of Death remarks with relief, disappearing again.
Past Laura giggles and Past Carmilla grins.
"So I guess enough with the dramatic stalling for your friends back in the livelier realm," Past Carmilla says. "Time to heal you. Get that tiny annoying heart a-pumpin' again."
Laura beams at Carmilla smugly. "You softie."
"Yeah, what did you do to me?" Carmilla says, imitating Laura's grin.
Past Laura swallows hard. "I... I hope you know this still doesn't change anything. You lying to me... It-It still hurts."
Past Carmilla hesitates before nodding. "I know," she says softly, swallowing hard. "And for what it's worth, I'm sorry. If you let me, I'll try my hardest to make it up to you. Starting with this." Her hand hovers over Laura's heart and a warm glow appears.
Past Laura gives her a grateful smile. "Carm, thank y––"
She disappears from sight, leaving a sighing Past Carmilla. "Can't lose you yet, cutie."
Carmilla gives Laura a pointed look but before Laura can address it, her head spins again.
Whoosh.
Carmilla and Laura both clamp their eyes closed as they feel another whirling sensation. They both open them slowly, realizing they're in Laura's room in the coven house.
"Cupcake, you've got more raw talent in your tiny pinky than they do their entire body," Past Carmilla says, determination in her eyes. "You found that ice cream truck. You found a way for all of them to get out. You got the driver back out. That was all you. Not them. You."
"Your first pep talk. One of many," Laura says at normal volume, realizing their past selves can't see or hear them.
Past Carmilla gives Laura nudges affectionately. "So what if you don't have powers? You've got your brain and your determination. Don't let them take that from you. And don't let them make you feel any less than you are, which is nothing short of amazing."
Past Laura smiles around a sniffle.
Past Carmilla rises with a grin. "Now, stop your crying and your moping. There's a whole world of magic out there, waiting for one annoying Laura Hollis to discover it." She orbs out, leaving Laura staring after her with her mouth open.
"You cared so much about me," Laura points out. "Even back then, when we barely knew each other."
Carmilla shrugs, smiling sheepishly.
"You know, when I was in the other world, I told you that you've always had goodness in you." Laura says. "It all just got a little muddled."
"Good thing I met you so you could help me find my way again," Carmilla says gently, before taking a deep breath. "Which is why I don't get why you're in such a hurry to sacrifice yourself. Think of all the people you could help––"
"––People who would die if I don't go through with the ritual," Laura interrupts, shaking her head. "It'd be a waste––"
Whoosh.
The attic.
Past Laura is arguing with the Dean.
"You really care for Carmilla," the Dean comments to Past Laura, who looks weakened.
"I do."
"Why?" She shakes her head. "I mean, how? How did you get past her false pretenses and original goal of trying to sacrifice you?"
"She was a good girl who lost her way," Past Laura comments simply. "It happens to whitelighters and witches all the time. Everyone deserves a second chance. And even in spite of losing Ell, she kept her compassion and ability to love and care, so who deserves a second chance more than her?"
The Dean stares at her pensively, and Past Laura sighs.
"Forget it. I don't know why I thought you gave a rat's ass about Carm."
She nods for Danny and Perry to help her out of the room.
"You're so... human," the Dean comments. "You believe in people and you just keep trying to see the best in everyone, don't you?" She shakes her head in disbelief. "So human."
"I never knew you argued with my Mother like this," Carmilla says.
Now it's Laura's turn to shrug.
"But-– This! This right here. This is why you can't just sacrifice yourself," Carmilla says desperately. "You're special and good and without you, people wouldn't get the second chance that you offer them. We need to find another way. There has to be another way. I refuse to believe there isn't."
Laura searches Carmilla's eyes and finds resolve.
Whoosh.
Laura and Carmilla turn to find their past selves settled on the couch in front of a paused Netflix screen.
"I just wanted to..." Past Laura looks very nervous and shy. "I wanted to thank you for never pushing me to use my powers."
Past Carmilla looks blasé, but it's an obvious ruse. "Hon, I'll keep telling you this for as long as you need to hear it. You're special. I don't know why, but you are. And I don't just mean because of your powers–– I mean, you've got a drive that I've never seen anyone else have before. You want the world to be better and you have that start with you."
Their past selves smile at each other before Past Carmilla continues.
"But you're also powerful, and if it means you need some time to figure out how to deal with that, then I'll be here every step of the way as your whitelighter to help."
They stare in silence as their past selves go back to their TV episode.
"Things were so much simpler back then, weren't they?" Laura sighs. "When I was just panicking about using my powers and not... being given up to keep the gates of Hell closed."
"When my biggest concern was making sure you didn't go crazy, and not whether my mother was gonna break loose from a cage in your attic or whether some old dude was gonna kidnap you?" Carmilla offers lightly.
Laura laughs softly before regarding Carmilla carefully. "Okay, okay. I think I've got a handle on whatever my powers are doing to this thing from Mattie. How about we do a marathon of Hollstein's Finest Moments?"
Carmilla stares at her in amusement, raising an eyebrow. "'Hollstein?'"
"It's our ship name. All the kids at Magic School––"
"Alright, alright," Carmilla says, chuckling. "Go ahead, cupcake. Bring on the Hollstein."
Laura salutes. "Yes, ma'am."
Whoosh.
Past Carmilla is speaking to a distraught Past Laura. "Listen to me. Your willingness to trust and believe in people is what makes you a good witch. Witches who can't trust? That means they can't look for the good in the world around them. You've singlehandedly taken down demons and helped so many people with your intuition and drive in such a short amount of time."
Past Laura's crying and Past Carmilla wipes a tear away.
"I was trying to make sense in this confusing, arbitrary universe and I think I was lost before I met you, but you inspired me to see that strength and power isn't something the world gives you–– it's something you generate yourself. You're amazing."
"Do you really mean that?" Past Laura asks around a sniffle.
"Use your power on me if you don't trust me," Past Carmilla replies.
Past Laura seems taken aback and Past Carmilla takes a step back, realizing she might have overstepped a boundary. "I-I didn't..."
"I trust you," Past Laura says gently. "And I think I'm on my way to forgiving you."
Past Carmilla seems relieved. "I'll make sure I'm worthy of it."
"The first time I realized I really trusted you, after finding out the whole story," Laura says.
Carmilla nods, tears forming. "And the first time I understood that you really trusted me, even after finding out the whole story."
Laura pulls Carmilla closer into a side-hug. "Thanks for not proving me wrong."
Whoosh.
Past Laura looks unsure. "I know we wanna have a first date, but..."
"Hey." Past Carmilla says lightly. "When I said I wanted to be in a relationship with you, I meant with all of you. The witch side, too. I have feelings for you because of who you are, not in spite of it."
Past Laura slowly meets Past Carmilla's eyes. "Really?"
Past Carmilla nods and Laura squeals.
Laura smiles fondly. "And this is when I realized this could really work."
Carmilla quirks an eyebrow. "'This?'"
"Y'know," Laura smiles. "Us."
Whoosh.
A quick flash of Past Carmilla winning Past Laura a bunch of prizes on their date to the carnival.
Whoosh.
Carmilla stares down as the two of them hover in the air, high above the ground. "Ah, I remember this one."
Laura giggles.
Past Laura is speaking as they approach the top of the Ferris Wheel. "The same goes for me. I'm not with you just because I think you're some epic hero in the making. I'm with you because you've stumbled on the way, but you're still here. Fighting the good fight. Caring. In spite of the Universe and the Powers That Be getting in your way, you're still here. With me. And I wouldn't have it any other way."
Past Laura is ready to make a move and Past Carmilla meets her in the middle. The world fades away as two girls share their first kiss.
"I felt so safe, on this Ferris Wheel," Laura sighs happily, taking Carmilla's hand and squeezing it.
"Me, too, cupcake. Me, too."
Whoosh.
"And this is the first time I felt truly safe with you," Laura says, pointing as they watch their past selves settled in a car outside the house and a harried Past Laura shifts uneasily in the car.
"Carmilla?"
"Hmm?"
Past Laura looks so worried as she unbuckles herself and turns to face Carmilla. "I'm scared."
"Scared of what?"
Past Laura speaks as if bursting with uncertainty and fear. "If I can control people's minds... their free will... Th-That's just so much power."
Past Carmilla isn't having any of it. "I haven't known you for too long, cutie. But something tells me you're too good to use this power and take advantage of people."
"But what if I'm not?" Past Laura says, starting to cry.
"Then that's what your handy-dandy whitelighter is for," Past Carmilla replies. "To guide you. To train you. To protect you. Even if it's from yourself."
Past Laura looks relieved to have someone in her corner.
"You should go get some rest," Carmilla comments carefully. "We can figure out what to do about your powers tomorrow."
Past Laura agrees and starts to leave the car before hesitating. "Hey, Carmilla?"
Past Carmilla stops from orbing out herself. "Yeah?"
Past Laura lunges forward with a knee on the seat and gives Past Carmilla a small peck on the cheek. "Thanks!" she squeaks as she gets out of the car. She darts to the house, leaving an amused Past Carmilla behind.
"Gosh, I was such a dork," Laura comments
Carmilla snorts. "'Was?'"
"Shut up," Laura scoffs.
Whoosh.
"That time the Cupid angel was trying to tell us we're soul mates and we were too stupid to realize it," Laura says with a giggle.
Cupid tells Past Laura he hopes she finds the peace and love she's looking for. He gives a pointed look at Past Carmilla, who doesn't notice because she's too busy staring proudly at Laura.
Whoosh.
Laura grins at Carmilla in a dark warehouse. Carmilla seems confused, so Laura'"And now... Last, but not least..."
Past Laura stands in shock. She'd done it. She'd vanquished her first two demons. She'd survived her first mission.
She hears slow clapping and she obviously thinks it's Danny turning towards the sound with a proud smile, which immediately vanishes when she realizes it's the stranger who orbed out earlier.
The enigmatic girl regards her, entertained. "Wow, cupcake. Colored me impressed."
Past Laura doesn't seem as entertained. "Who are you?"
"I'm Carmilla. I'm your whitelighter, sweetheart."
"Oh. My. God," Carmilla laughs. "I'm so overdramatic."
"You said it, not me," Laura giggles. She gives Carmilla a peck on the cheek. "And the rest is history."
Whoosh.
The memory fades and they find themselves back in Laura's living room.
"You flew to these memories so fast," Carmilla comments. "As if they were just ready for you to go to."
Laura nods, taking a deep breath. "Because they are. Carm, ever since I found out about Vordenberg's plans, this past year has been the only thing on my mind. I know that to you it must seem like I'm diving into this ritual headfirst without a care, and without thinking of you. But that's not true. God, that's not true."
Carmilla watches as tears fall down Laura's face.
"I remember all of it." Laura lets out a long sigh. "And yeah, I remember the pain of finding out that you'd lied to me for months, and all the disagreements we've been having. But even without Mattie's locket, I also remember that it has been absolutely amazing being with you, Carm."
Laura is crying now, settling down on the couch as Carmilla swallows hard.
"Laura, I... I-I didn't know..." Carmilla's voice cracks, but she continues talking. "But this is why I can't just watch you die. For no reason. When there was a chance I could've saved you. If I lose you... I think I'd go mad."
Alternative Carmilla's words and sadness echo through Laura's mind. The broken shell of a girl trapped in "what ifs" and "maybes" and "too lates."
"Carm, that can't be what we are to each other." Laura lets out a small sob but shakes her head. "You look at me like I'm the only thing tethering you to the world and... it cracks me open and all of our stupid, messy fears come tumbling out in 'maybes' and 'somedays,' and how is that fair?"
Carmilla looks at her, at a loss for words, tears flowing down her own cheeks.
Laura realizes she needs to address the bleak potential future she saw, and fight like Hell to keep it from happening. "Look, in the other place, everyone told me how Vordenberg loved someone, and they died, and he couldn't accept it. All of this–– the chaos, the misery–– it's because he'd rather pull the world apart at the seams than let go. We can't be like that." Laura takes a deep breath. "This isn't like the other place where I was too weak and you were too late. We found each other here. Almost a year's worth of memories that I hold near and dear."
Carmilla's eyes soften, her resolve slowly and visibly melting away.
"Carm, I don't want either of us to turn into Vordenberg. Mad and bitter and ruining everything we touch. I don't want that to be our story. Okay?" Laura holds eye contact with Carmilla, taking her hands in hers. "Our story is that we made each other better."
Carmilla gives a small nod.
"I need us to do this together. I can't do this without you. I won't. Carm, I need you to know that this past year was amazing, but it won't be ruined because we couldn't let each other go. I need you to know that you made me stronger and better and that without you, I couldn't do this."
Laura lets all of her words and pleas hang in the air. Finally, Carmilla gives Laura's hands a squeeze.
"There's so much on your little capable shoulders," Carmilla says softly and gently. "I guess I can't expect all of that to evaporate just because I love you."
They both pause and stare at each other, eyes wide.
I love you.
Because I love you.
Carmilla had known it for quite some time, but saying it made it real. Made it so there's something to lose–– but also something to gain. The words were out there, now.
"I love you, too," Laura replies sincerely and strongly, tears welling up. "Why shouldn't that be something good?"
Carmilla pulls Laura into a hug before she pulls back and captures Laura's lips in a kiss, feeling Laura melt into her embrace.
There was one memory Laura hadn't let them relive, and that was Future Laura saying they'd still together, and that everything was going to be okay.
She didn't need that one, not when ever fiber of her being was already telling her that right now.
Because I love you.
Something good.
We're gonna be okay.