I'm so sorry for the late update. I had a small writer's block for this chapter but I hope it came out well. Please let me know!
The next one will be the final chapter for this book. Thank you for reading! You guys are truely amazing and I love you so much <3333
***
Brian’s POV
“She is what?!” I looked at Lindsay in shock. Zacky sat up and placed a hand on his girlfriend’s right knee, with his arm protectively in front of her.
“Nothing is settled yet. Katie called me to ask for advice.” Lindsay looked at me sympathetically.
“She can’t go! Linds … you gotta talk her out of this!” I said urgently, scooting closer to the table that was between us and filled with several bottles and glasses.
Matt, Zacky and I had been sitting in a corner of Johnny’s Saloon, having a few drinks, when Lindsay had joined us with the news. She had told us of Five Finger Death Punch offering Katie the job as their tour manager. It was her dream job and I was happy for her that her career was finally starting again but she would have to leave in two days. Two freaking days! It meant that I had to let her go without setting things right between us. I couldn’t let that happen.
“I can try but I don’t think it’ll work. Jeremy always finds a way to get her to listen to him.” Linds frowned.
“This guy is so annoying.” Zacky rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his beer.
“But he is nice to her. She likes him.” His girlfriend argued.
“Uhm excuse me? Her boyfriend sits right here.” I waved at her. I didn’t like how she talked about Katie liking another guy when we hadn’t called it quits yet. I would never let that happen anyways.
“Yes, I know that. I’m just saying.” She said.
“It’s funny. Val said he always appears when you are not around and Katie is hurt.” Matt nudged my shoulder.
“Yeah, really funny.” I muttered under my breath downing my whiskey.
“I’m just-“ He started but I cut him off.
“You’re just saying. Yes, I know.” I groaned. “But I can’t do shit right now. She doesn’t want to see me.”
“So? Just because she says so doesn’t mean you can’t go and take what’s yours?” Zacky said.
“I can’t go and kick her door in and just … take her …” I looked at him with big eyes.
“Hell yeah you can. Be a fucking man and show her who is boss!” He raised his fist and let his muscles play. That’s when Linds smacked the back of his head. “Ow.”
“That’s just stupid. If he does that Katie will freak and leave without thinking twice about it.” She said.
“But …”
“No buts, Zachary.” She glared at him.
“Yes, ma’am.” He looked down to his hands like a little boy. I couldn’t help but laugh about it.
“Now who is being a boss hu?” I laughed.
“Oh shut up, Gates.” He muttered and drank his beer.
“Hey, focus guys!” Linds snapped with her fingers. “Do you still have that letter?” I nodded. “Good. Keep it. I will go and talk to her. You guys need to talk before she leaves.” With that Lindsay downed her drink and turned to Zacky. “And don’t you put those stupid ideas in his head.”
“Ok, ok. I got it, babe. Be safe.” She chuckled and kissed him softly before leaving us. We sat there in silence, everyone in their own thoughts.
I had a bad feeling about Katie leaving. We had been touring with Five Finger Death Punch and they were great guys but Matt was right. Ever since it started to get rough between her and me Jeremy started to appear and it bothered me a lot that he was going to be with Katie for two months. A tour bus gets smaller with every week that passes. Oh just the thought of them …
“Hey, you ok?” Matt nudged me and pulled my mind away from that image in my head.
“What … err yeah.” I sipped on my beer.
“It’s gonna be alright. Don’t worry.”
“I hope you are right, man. I can’t lose her again.” I sighed and leaned back. We stayed a while longer but I couldn’t really focus on anything my friends said. All I did was hope and pray for Katie to give me a chance to talk to her before she left.
Katie’s POV
I woke up the next morning with a small headache. It wasn’t because of alcohol or something but because Lindsay had come over to talk to me about the job offer of Five Finger Death Punch. She had actually tried to talk me out of it, said that it was bad timing.
That was that I realized she had talked to Brian or the guys about it. Of course I was upset. It wasn’t her story to tell and seemed like she was siding with Brian now although she knew how much I needed her right now. We had fought and had spat some pretty nasty words at each other’s head. I had thrown her out of my room and cried myself to sleep.
With a sigh I turned around to the window side of the room and looked into the bright blue sky. Maybe it was for the best. It seemed like this opportunity was given to me on purpose. I could make up my mind and heart for that matter on the road, when I was with people that had no clue about the stuff that was going on. Okay, Jeremy did but he wouldn’t mention anything if I asked him too. He was a great friend, no matter what a Lindsay or a Valary said.
Still thinking back and forth I stood and grabbed some fresh clothes. I switched on the TV to have someone talk in the background and went to take nice hot shower. The hot water helped me to relax and the soap seemed to wash my worries away. I should go, it’d be best and a lot of fun.
When I stepped out of the shower and was about to dry myself off I heard the morning news. Nothing really excited happened but the news anchor said that homeland security warned for traveling by plane these days. There haven’t been any attacks for a while now but they still warned everyone who planned on flying abroad. Nice. That meant that LAX was going to be packed with security and it would take me hours to get to my plane.
I pulled on my blue skinny jeans and buttoned up my cream colored blouse before I focused on my hair and make-up. Not paying attention to the TV anymore I went to pack my suitcase. I had made up my mind. I would go and work with Five Finger Death Punch. Therefore I needed to get fresh clothes and a bigger suitcase, which meant I had to go to Brian’s house.
Sipping up my suitcase I turned off the TV, pulled on my boots and grabbed my purse and opened the door to leave when I almost ran into Lindsay.
“Oh … what are you doing here?” I asked in surprise.
“Just … I wanted to see how you were doing. A-are you leaving?” She looked down at my suitcase.
“Yeah …” I came out of the room and shut the door behind me but I didn’t feel the need to explain more to her. I was sure I’d only get shit from her again.
“I’m sorry for last night. I shouldn’t have …”
“What? Told Brian or shove those words into my face?” I raised an eyebrow looking down at her.
“Both I guess. I was just trying to help.” Lindsay said gently and we both walked to the elevator. “Brian really loves you. He is scared that he loses you while you are gone. He is desperate.”
“He always gets desperate when I’m about to leave him. That’s the only time he shows some effort. As soon as we go back to a daily routine he starts to get annoyed by me.” I said and stepped into the elevator with my friend hurrying after me.
“But you love him, right?” She looked up at me with a lot of hope in her eyes. The elevator dinged and the doors opened revealing the beautiful lobby.
“Of course I love him. I’m doing this because I want to give us another chance but no one of you understands that.” I sighed and went to check out. Lindsay waited patiently near the entrance. While the lady got my bill ready I made a list of things that I had to arrange for my long absence and texted Jeremy that I was joining them.
When I was done I said goodbye to the lady behind the desk and left with a smile. But then Lindsay hurried to follow me.
“What are you doing now?”
“Probably going insane.” I rolled my eyes. I stopped and turned to look at her. “Look, I have a really busy day ahead of me. I have decided to accept Jeremy’s offer and now I have to book a flight, pack my stuff and organize my things. I need to do this … with or without your consent.” She sighed heavily after my small speech and shoved her hands in the back pockets of her shorts.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m just … we are worried. That’s what friends do, you know?” Now it was my turn to sigh.
“I know and I appreciate it. But this is something I have to do to see if Brian and I have a chance.” My friend nodded. “How about some breakfast? I’ll explain it again ok?” With a smile she agreed and so we drove to our favorite café near the beach and I explained to her my reasons.
It was nearly 11 o’clock when Lindsay and I pulled up in front of Brian’s house. I unbuckled myself and opened the door.
“Just talk to him. Brian supports your dreams but he needs some insurance.” Lindsay got out of her car as well and opened the trunk from where I grabbed my suitcase.
“I know. I try to be relaxed.” She closed the trunk and came to hug me. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” She nodded but squeezed me again. Linds had offered me the guestroom in Zacky’s house for my last night in Huntington Beach.
After a moment I pulled away and walked up the drive way while Lindsay slowly drove off. The sun was shining down on me and I knew that I was going to miss this place more than I ever imagined. With a millionth sigh today I grabbed my keys and unlocked the door. As I closed the door I found myself under attack from my beloved little baby Pinkly.
“Aw my booboo.” I picked her up and kissed her cheek, cuddling her close. She licked my cheek making me giggle. I put my keys in the bowl on the small table near the staircase and walked further inside, coming to the living room where Brian sat, playing his guitar with his eyes closed.
It was a peaceful and gorgeous picture and the quickened beating of my heart just showed me that I had missed the sight of his handsome face in the last few days. I watched him for a while but I couldn’t find myself to approach him. I didn’t know what to say other than a sarcastic comment about Michelle. And there she was again! Exactly that’s why I had to go. I looked at him and she would pop up in my head. It was wrong and painful and not how I wanted my relationship to be.
Quietly I went back to the hallway and grabbed my suitcase. With Pinkly cuddled to my chest I came upstairs to our bedroom and after sitting my fluffy girl on the bed I got my big suitcase and a duffle bag out of the spare cupboard in the upper hallway and started packing.
Mentally it was an easy thing to place the shirts and pants in the suitcase but physically and emotionally it was getting harder and harder with every movement. And a whimpering Pinkly wasn’t helping at all. It broke my heart seeing her sad black eyes following my every move. She knew I was leaving but she didn’t understand why. I kissed the top of her head and patted her for a while. She cuddled to me, forcing me to take a break from packing. A welcome distraction. But then I remembered that I had to book a flight to London, where our first show would be. Jeremy, Ivan and their manager were going to meet me at LAX tomorrow to keep me company and to brief me. Jeremy had texted me the details of their flight and I was lucky, the lady of their travel agency that I was calling while cuddling with Pinkly said that a seat next to Ivan was available. I booked it and she emailed me my boarding pass.
I hung up and put the phone on the bed. That was it. I was leaving for two months, not knowing what would come after. It was scary but necessary.
“So … that’s it.” I jumped a little and saw Brian leaning against the door frame, his hands in his pockets. “You are going.”
“It’s for the best.” I nodded and continued packing my clothes very neatly into the suitcase, taking my time. He didn’t reply but I knew he was still there. His brown eyes were burning into the side of my face.
“You don’t have to do this.” Brian said softly after a while.
“You know that I do.” I said not looking at him. A voice deep inside of me wanted me to go and hug him, kiss him and never let him go. But it wasn’t so easy. It never was.
“Please Katie …” I froze when I felt his strong arms being wrapped around my waist. Through my thin blouse I felt the heat of his body as he pulled me against his chest. This is where I belonged. Right there, in his embrace. That was home for me. A home that got invaded.
Slowly I placed my bras in the suitcase and turned around to face Brian. His scent was just as intoxicating as ever and I couldn’t help but let my hands run over his chest until they came to the back of his neck where my fingers played with his hair. We locked eyes and with a few butterflies in my stomach I leaned in for a soft kiss that soon got hungrier, more desperate. One of his hands came to my butt and squeezed it which led me to step closer. Brian picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Then I felt my back slam into a nearby wall while we were still ravishing each other’s mouths.
It was hot, it was passionate and full of hunger. Pure longing and desperation was driving us crazy. We wanted to feel one another, not only physically. But my phone interrupted us before we could rip our clothes off.
Brian groaned and pulled away from our kiss, a pained expression on his beautiful face. I let my legs come off his waist and I leaned my forehead against his chest. His arms held me tight and close to his body which I enjoyed. I even needed it. But I had to get ready, to tell him something very important.
With one last lingering kiss I pulled away and came to the bed to sip up my suitcase and duffle bag. In silence he helped me carrying them downstairs. I pulled on my shoes and kissed Pinkly one last time. When I stood I just saw him stepping away from my purse wondering what he had done with it but I quickly disregarded the thought.
“Don’t go. I have a bad feeling about this.” Brian said as I put on my leather jacket.
“It’ll be fine. We need this, Brian. The both of us have work to do.” I saw him frown so I explained it further, “I have to figure out my feelings towards you and our relationship and you have to figure out what girl you love more.”
“What? Are you …?” His eyes widened in shock.
“Yes I am.” I said shouldering my purse.
“You are setting me an ultimatum? What kind of goodbye is that?”
“This relationship only works if the both of us put effort in it. And I am sick of sharing you with someone else. It’s hard enough to see you off on tour. At least let me have you for myself when you are home.” I walked to the door.
“That’s ridiculous. You know I love only you.” Brian said frustrated, following me. I opened the door and pulled my luggage outside.
“I only know that I’m not so sure about that. I can’t trust you, not 100%.” I said and put my stuff in my car. “I’m gonna be at Zacky’s tonight. We talk when I’m back.” I kissed his check and opened the driver’s door.
“Katie, please! What do you want me to do? I’d do anything for you to stay.” He pleaded as I got in and shut the door. I started the engine and let the window down.
“Ask yourself one simple question.” I looked at him as I put on my sunglasses.
“What question?”
“Me or her?” And with that I pulled out of the driveway and sped towards my best friend’s house, the sunglasses hiding my tears.