Chapter 46
Mia's POV
Sleepless nights once again. Falling asleep was a constant problem of mine ever since childhood but it stopped temporarily when my life finally stabled during my wedding planning days. I had a good life. I had a loving best friend who knew me in every way. I had a career that consisted with great workers and I never felt burdened or unmotivated to work. I had no complications whatsoever. I lived in an endless routine, my days were predictable and events were anticipated. Until the day Perrie showed up and changed the course of my future forever.
I'd been a wedding planner because I sincerely loved what I did. It will always be one of my greatest passions. There's just something about weddings - the lightness it gives me, the jubilant air - it all appealed to my romantic heart.
I'd been a waitress because, well, I had to. I had no other choice since I was a working college student who lived in a free apartment with the help of Juliana and her soon-to-be husband.
I was even a bodyguard, and to make it sound ten times crazier - I was Zayn Malik's bodyguard. I've had so much instability in my choice of careers that my life spiraled out of control leading to my inconsistent sleep schedule.
And don't even get me started about Zayn.
Zayn Javadd Malik.
He was the most complex, confusing, complicated obstacle placed in my life - probably more difficult than my parentless childhood. He was the most conceited and horrifyingly infuriating human being when we first met. He was the first person who treated me with so much disdain, so much arrogance without even making an effort to get to know me and I was usually a very approachable woman.
Yet in the strangest ways, I found myself falling for him, falling for his irrational thinking, his suave presence, the good heart he bore behind that icy exterior of his. If I hadn't met him, love would still be an unknown issue for me.
How did I learn to confront my own feelings?
How did I allow myself to fall for him?
Actually, how did he end up falling for me?
No matter how dysfunctional our relationship may be, no matter how inappropriate it used to be, my heart was and forever will be inevitably only his. No one else could make me feel the way he does - just one look from those captivating eyes led me into a state of euphoric intoxication that dissipated the force of gravity's pull on me.
Damn that sounded super cheesy.
I only told Zayn that I loved him .. twice. The first time was in London when he left me in heartbreak. I remembered it very clearly.
"I need you to stop. Stop involving yourself with me, Mia. I just came to tell you that - I'm not the one for you. Just leave me alone and don't come back in my life because I do not love you - and I never will."
It was a deadening feeling, rejection was, I never wanted to feel it again. Just thinking back to those cruel words he said to me still sent a minute pain through my system. I know that Zayn regretted his words even though he never verbally admitted it to me - I knew.
The second time was two days ago at the O'Hare airport where we professed our love for each other. It seemed too good to be true. Those things only happened in movies, not real life. I, with Zayn Malik, one of the well-known names on the planet.
It's unbelievable how much time had passed since we first met each other in that month of September. Look where we are now almost three years later. Together in a long-distance relationship. Are we even in a relationship? He never formally asked me to be his girlfriend so was it implied?
I was obviously not good at this stuff.
It was barely morning and my brain refused to shut down, thoughts about the past and what a few hours would bring kept creeping into my head. Facing my mother, and my father together, in one room. It sounded like a horror movie to me.
I'm not regretting my decision though. It was the path I chose to go. Whether it's for the last few months, maybe weeks or worse, even days before the end of her life, I owed it to her. She gave me this life. To experience it, to experience hardships and go through obstacles and meet the man that I loved. When I pushed all my hatred aside, I felt a little weight taken off my chest. Even though I might not be able to forgive them fully, at least I could let her leave in peace.
Rising from the bed, I hauled my body off the large mattress and walked to my suitcase, tugging out my worn down running shoes, a black pair of loose fitting workout pants and a dark blue zip up sweater since the morning air was always brisk here. Maybe a good run will clear my head and distract me for a good hour. Running was one of my favorite physical activities since my recent minor depression. It not only benefited my health, it allowed me to have a moment of solitude, to rid myself of reality for a certain time, and it was just me against the pavement.
***
I watched nothing but vast fields of grasslands pass by from the passenger window as Winnie drove Elliot and I to our parent's country home. The countryside was so much more graceful than the city. It really had been too long since I've returned to our vacation home. The lush green grass, the white picket fences, the sloping valleys and hills Winnie and I used to roll down on.
I loved living in big cities like London and L.A. but there was something about the country air that was extremely comforting and welcoming. We've been on the road for at least a good hour meaning only one more to go which I was happy and stressed about. Happy because I hated long car rides and couldn't wait to plant my feet on stable ground. Stressed because I would have to face my parents in person.
How would my mother react to see me? Did she know I was coming? Would she throw me out? How would I act around her, someone who can barely do anything other than get up to use the toilet? Was she really that weak? How can I do things for her when I can barely take care of myself? Plus I've never been around sick people before. I'm not confident about my hospitality skills, but it shouldn't be that difficult - hopefully.
"You excited to see Granny, Elliot?" Winnie asked while glancing at the rearview mirror to her son in the back seat. He looked even cuter today than yesterday. The little blonde boy dressed himself in a light blue button down, a grey cardigan, and khaki pants. Rich kids dressed better than me. I just wore my white cable knit sweater with some blue skinnies. It looked nothing as matching as Elliot nor his mother, who was wearing another dress similar to yesterday's but in a deep plum tone.
"Yes! I can't wait." He answered his attention on the rearview mirror.
"What kind of present did you get her, Elliot?" I asked, turning around to face him. He was holding a small brown box with a shiny red bow on it.
"Shh...it's a secret only Grandmama and I can know." He said while putting his finger to his small lips. I throw a playful tantrum but he found it amusing - reminding me of how Javadd would also be amused for pouting.
"You little stinker." I teased, making him burst into giggles and I eventually joined him. His laugh was very contagious.
"You are a horrible influence on my son." Winnie scolded me but I knew she wasn't being that serious.
"No one has called him names before?" I asked.
"No. His father doesn't allow it. He's very insistent about keeping him well behaved."
Of course, rich kids and the pride they take in their etiquette. I've only met my sister's husband once, on their wedding day, so I didn't know that much about him. Only how much Winnie adored him.
"Remember when we used to call each other names." I turned around to face Elliot again. "Do you know what your mother used to call me, Elliot?"
"What?" He asked, vaguely intrigued, playing with the box in his little hands.
"She used to call me butthead!"
Elliot's blue eyes opened wide at the unfamiliar word and he followed with another burst of laughter. Winnie mildly slapped the top of my head and continued scolded me but Elliot and I just carry on even more amused at his mother's embarrassment.
I returned my attention to the road before Elliot asked, "Is Grandmama feeling better?" His naive question oddly stabbed my heart because he had something I didn't have - hope. I haven't even considered the possibility of my mother surviving this rare, genetic illness.
"I think you should save that question for Granny. She's the only one who can answer you honestly, okay honey?" Winnie said in her sweet motherly tone and the boy nodded with a bright smile - a faint dimple appeared on his right cheek.
I wished I was him at this very moment - a gullible child with no worries or concerns, with no taint of the word spite. A clean slate, a new beginning. Instead I was a gullible 23 year old woman with a complicated backstory who had a consistent tendency to deal with over thinking and assuming the worst.
***
The house was in our vision and something about it told me to run - to turn back around and escape before it was too late. There was an eerie, uncomfortable air around the massive country home - not exactly how I envisioned it to look like. It looked like one of those abandoned homes in the middle of the highway that looked like nobody ever lived there. The tall grasses were a marigold tone encircling one side of the house. The rich blue color of the house faded ten times a lighter shade since the last time I've been here and the wooden windows looked a tad worn down.
We pulled up on the gravel driveway and there were already two cars parked ahead of us. A black minivan and a silver Fiat. One of them must be the old man's since Winnie said he'd be here to discuss conditions - whatever that meant. I didn't want to over-think it.
"We're here." Winnie stated, turning to face her son who was screaming in excitement. I couldn't help but giggle at his enthusiasm. Winnie turned to me, extending her hand to my shoulder her expression asking me if I was ready. To be frank, I wasn't ready but I beamed her an artificial comforting smile. "Okay, let's go." She said while getting out of the car.
I guess she didn't catch my silent uneasiness which I was kind of glad about. Taking a deep breath, I opened the passenger door and stepped out of the car, absorbing the afternoon sunlight and pastoral fragrance - almost restoring a little strength in me. This moment had to happen some time. I just hope I'm confident enough to pull through my promise. God knows how bad I was at keeping my word. Planning the wedding for Perrie - disaster. Staying away from her ex-fiancé - double disaster.
There was an unexpected gentle grasp on my hand, and I looked down to see Elliot's youthful face - smiling at me. This little human was trying to give me comfort which I strangely needed. Could it be that he knew I was nervous on the inside? Or maybe he just wanted to hold my hand because he finally warmed up to me.
Whatever the reason was, it created bond between him and I. His gesture gave me a sense of competence, a sliver of confidence. Just exactly what I needed to get through this.
Winnie knocked on the door and within a couple moments, it opened. My father was wearing a regular polo with blue jeans - something I never pictured him in. He was always a suit and tie kind of guy.
"Grandpa!" Elliot yelled as he let go of my hand, running into my father's arms as my father lifted him up into the air. I was completely surprised at how close they looked.
"Elliot, my favorite grandson." Well, he was his only grandchild. "What's that you have there, mate?"
"It's Grandmama's present." He answered as my father set him back down.
"Hi, dad." Winnie said as she pecked his cheek. I wasn't stunned at how close Winnie and our father was. She had already got her closure. I hadn't so we are light years away from being that close. He looked at me, and I could tell he didn't anticipate me to do the same thing.
"Come in, come in." He said as he led us into the house.
Goodness. It was way different from the, excuse my use of words, crappy exterior of the house. Inside was like the interior of the Taj Mahal. Not exactly but close enough.
How could I have not seen this one coming? My parents could afford the most expensive, most innovative healthcare and I was stupid enough to believe my mother would rest in a dump through the last of her days.
"I'm glad you decided to do this, Mia." My father said, tapping my shoulder. I almost jumped at his unfamiliar touch but managed a small smile as an answer.
"Let's go see Grandmama!" Elliot shouted as he tugged at my father's pants and my father bent down to the little boy's level.
"You go on first, okay? Grandpa has to talk with the doctor about important matters. Why don't you show your Aunt Mia the way to Grandmama's room?"
Elliot nodded his head and came over to me, looking at me innocently with those ocean blue eyes of his.
I wished I was Elliot at this very moment - not because he had no worries or concerns nor because he had such a great relationship with his grandpa, my dad - but because he had such high spirits. It provided me with strength - not a lot but it was enough. The way his pure kindness radiated off of him - oddly making me look forward to see my mother.
Something I never thought I'd look forward to.
I promise Zayn will be in the next chappie! I have an idea about how this story is going to go so please continue reading. It might be kinda boring since its only Mia and her family but what kind of story would only focus on lovers. Need to be realistic here. Lol. I'm one to talk.
Have a good weekend!
Emma ❤