Blair's P.O.V
3 months later
It was like in slow motion, the punch through my left cheek turning my face to the right harshly and the burning pain quickly taking over that I'm beginning to crave.
I craved it because I felt like I couldn't crave anything but pain. I'm empty and like a cracy lunatic as they kicked me, punched me, I laughed, I smiled through it closing my eyes and just enduring the pain. And after 10 minutes of relentlessly beating, it stopped, "That will fucking teach you, you crazy bitch" the boy said and his gang walked off.
I laid there, on the cold concrete and looked up at the dark sky which has stars scattered everywhere. It's beautiful. I gulp hating myself for how I've become but I knew I couldn't do anything..no..not else I see her. Stop it, don't think about her, stop, stop I say inside my head but I shook my head and winced at the pain but spoke out loud to no one..
"Just once..give me something..just one memory" I sounded desperate but I needed it, right now at this state.. So closing my eyes again and feeling little droplets of rain falling from the dark night sky, a memory broke through my empty cold heart..
"Say you love me" Janey whispered after we finished making love and we were facing each other on the bed, staring lovingly into each other's eyes. Her brunette hair falls right onto her face to make her seem like a million dollar model and her blue eyes staring at me. Only me.
My hand on her naked waist, softly caressing the skin there and her hands on my cheeks just as she said that and I sighed in love with the beauty I'm looking at. "I love you, I love you so much baby. I'm always going to be here ready for your warmth in my arms" I spoke softly and I saw her blush and bit her lip shyly and I chuckled, moving closer and softly eskimo kissed her and she ran her hands through my hair igniting warmth, love, gentleness through me.
"If god gave us a choice to become anything we wanted in the next life and I chose to be a dog..would you be dog? With me?" She then added while looking at me with those doe blue eyes and I internally swooned.."If you're a dog, then I'm a dog" I said lovingly and she let out her beautiful giggles that makes my heart beat a billion times more. "You're so cheesy" she then giggled and softly kissed my cheek and I laughed, bringing her closer and whispering in her ear "Only for you my beautiful girl".
And just like that I opened my eyes. Feeling a bit of warmth enter my cold heart and I swallowed.. I couldn't let out a tear, now matter how much I felt like I wanted to, it just couldn't come out. After a few minutes of me laying spread out on the concrete and bloody, the warmth slowly died in my heart and the memory is locked up again.
I sighed and slowly got up, I couldn't let out a groan of any sort, no because I liked the pain. I stood up and limped back to the dorm, praying Grace wasn't in. It's been 3 months since I've been in London. London is beautiful, But seeing as I'm in this state, I don't have a chance to see the real beauty of it.
I've gotten into a good university that offers all the courses I want to take and such so that's good. I didn't really do anything then go to class and go back to the dorm when it's finished and of course ate.
I didn't go out with my fellow peers to parties or such, no I go back to my dorm and just lay on my bed, staring at the plain white ceiling. A part of me wants to enjoy life here in London and acknowledge to myself that it's okay to think about her and the rest of my family but the bigger part of me forced myself to not care and eventually I became who I am right now, an empty cold hearted person.
I reached my dorm and opened the key with the key and went in. I stood by the door and after five minutes of hearing nothing I knew Grace wasn't home. I walked to the bathroom as while taking off my shirt. Once I got to the bathroom, I undressed till I am in my boxers and sports bra and got a rag, wetting it with warm water and bringing it to my face. Cleaning off all the blood and once I was done, I just stared at the mirror..at the cold green eyes looking right back at me.
Then those haunting thoughts came barging in. What would Janey think if she saw you like this? She'll probably be afraid of you.
"Stop"
She wouldn't recognize the woman that supposedly loves her. She probably wouldn't look at you the same way again.
"Stop!"
I shouted and then it was just like a light switch, those haunting words disappeared and I stared at a girl with fiery green eyes now and a scrunched up face as she just ate a whole lemon.
"Oh Jesus Christ Blair" a voice sounding very familiar to Grace. I wanted to laugh at her accent but not a mockery laugh. No, I've been here 3 months and fell in love with the accents. But I couldn't seem to do that either and she softly turned me around and looked at me, I could see the emotions representing angry, pity and sorrow.
Grace Levington is my roommate and the first I have made here. Don't really know why she wants to be friends with me because normally I would respond with a nod or a shake of the head and one word answers. I couldn't even get mad at the pity and sorrow I saw in her eyes.
"Come on wanker, I've set up some movies to watch" she said and walked out knowing I would follow her silently. When I first met her, I actually let out a laugh when she called me that. It just sounds so vulgar and then she asked if it was alright for her to say that and I shrugged.
"It's a free world, say what you feel like saying" I told her in a emotionless voice and she didn't even comment on my tone so I knew then that Grace would be a good friend to have around. So I walked out and put on a shirt and some sweatpants and sat beside her on the couch and watched the movie rolling but knew I really wasn't there watching it.
Jane's P.O.V
In these 3 months, I couldn't sleep in my bed. I could not. Even thinking of sleeping in that bed will bring continuous of rocking sobs through me and it hurt, it smelt like her. Even though it was my bed, it smelt like her. It hurt so much. So I decided to sleep on the couch but that still didn't stop the tears from falling. After I watched her go through the customs area, I walked right out that airport with Chloe driving me home.
I couldn't see the plane fly away. No that would make me sob out loud and I didn't want to seem like someone died. Although it felt like I lost Blair. I know my Blair and I knew she's not the same Blair right now. The gentle, loving, considerate Blair.
I don't know what she's doing right now but I know she has changed. It scares me because when she comes back I don't know what I would see but I knew I would love her even more.
I pretended I was fine during the day and at work, not fully fully fin though but enough so Aunt Claire, Chloe, my co workers and my boss wouldn't worry too much.
However they didn't know that whenever no one was home, I buried my nose in Blair's t-shirts and cried and my boss and coworkers didn't know that whenever it was my lunch break, I would lock myself in the mall public toilets and made sure no one was inside and silently let the tears fall.
It reminded me of Blair coming to pick me up everyday.
"Hey" I am brought back by a hand on my shoulder shaking me and I looked into that familiar face and smiled a small smile. Blue and I met up often to talk about what's going on and Lexy would join some days.
I knew that if Blue didn't meet up with me or made an effort to ask how I was she would get her head punched in by Blair and I winced at the thought. I smiled internally seeing how Blair would react when Blue announces that her and Lexy are dating. I had a talk with Lexy and apparently Blue is the one and she "broke" through her straight personal. She's my crazy best friend. They actually look cute together.
I wish Blair had Instagram or Snapchat to see. All she has is Facebook and it seems that she hasn't been active in a while. I held back a sob. Instead I asked how Blue was and that's how my lunch went, talking to the love of my life's best friend and just feeling that familiar emotion that Blair might not be here right now but her best friend is and that gave me comfort in a friendly way.
After lunch with Blue, I went back home and sighed when I saw Chloe's and Aunt Claire's vehicle in the driveway and I parked on the sidewalk. I got out and walked in and I'm immediately engulfed into warm motherly arms and I sighed in Aunt Claire. "It gets better sweety" she says softly and I didn't want to speak so I nodded. Some nights, okay no, all nights I felt this big part of emptiness with in me. Like I was missing another half of me. I knew that other half is across the world.
I know it might seem too soon to be this attached and in love with someone but when you just..when you just feel it. You will know and I felt it right when Blair would curse in front of little kids and nuns and cuddle up to me later at night.
I felt it right when she knocked at my door to deliver me her favorite carrot cake that she had to hold herself back from keeping it herself. I then spent the rest of my night wishing Blair is here to hold me and watching different series with my Aunt and cousin and of course pictures and memories of my Blair invading every piece of my mind and my heart.
Blair's P.O.V
"Blair! Wake up!"
I groaned and stirred from being roughly shaken awake. "Wanker!" That did it and I opened my eyes and harshly looked at a bed head crazy Grace.
"What!?"
I coldly questioned and she winced but frowned at me and then I heard a noise, from the kitchen and I furrowed my eyebrows looking at Grace with the same cold expression and I whispered.
"You woke me up because your boy toy is making noise in the kitchen?"
I asked confused and she face palmed herself like literally did it.
And I wanted to ignore her and go to sleep but stopped myself when I saw fear in her eyes and I sighed, sitting up, putting on my shirt and asked her what was up. Hey, I might be a cold bitch but Grace is a friend and I'm willing to help her.
"I think someone broke into our dorm" she whispered with fright in her voice and I got even more confused so with a cold stare and now clenched knuckles I spoke
"Did they see you?"
"How did you even come in here?" I then groaned and laid back down but she stopped me and practically looked at me as if I was crazy and why I wasn't doing something about it.
"It's a prank isn't it?, because you couldn't have come in here without crossing the kitchen to which they will see.."
"We have joint bathrooms you gonk!" And I shot up realizing it and just as I was going to stand up, the knob on my locked door rattled and grace let out a quiet squeak and grabbed onto my arm. I felt uncomfortable being touched by anyone since I got here but I bare with it because Grace was scared and I swallowed but didn't let any emotions come over my face..in fact I didn't feel fear at all.
So I slowly reached my hand into my beside table and brought out the pocket knife I had in there without taking my eyes off the door and hand it to Grace.
"Stay here, I'll go check it out but if I let them get away and they come in here..we'll that's your protection okay?" "Are you bullocks? You can.." I looked at Grace and she saw the coldness in my green orbs and swallowed and nodded. She slowly let go of my arm holding a death grip on the pocket knife and sat on my bed and I made my way to the door and slowly unlocked it and opened it.
Just as I made my way outside the living room and I looked straight at the kitchen through the dark and saw a figure, still not afraid I walked to it but they suddenly dropped one of the pots they were carrying and went for the door but I didn't let that happen.
I wasn't going to let them get away like I let Moose get away the first time. So using my long legs, I sprinted towards the hooded figure and just as they are about to open the door and escape, I grabbed there hood and pulled them down roughly onto the tile floor and straddled them but pressed into there abdomen with my knee hearing them groan out loud at the pain.
"Urgh get off me ya giant" they shouted and I scrunched up my eyebrows. I've heard that voice before so I called Grace in and after a few minutes she comes in and I wanted to laugh by the way she came out with the knife held in front of her and waving it around but me being me I have changed so I scoffed coldly and told her to turn on the lights. Once the light is turned on we both look towards the intruder and I felt myself fuming. It was one of Grace's boy toy! But the crazy ones and I shook my head. "Garret!" Grace yells in shock.
"Are you fucking crazy?" I said coldly and I saw Grace flinch and I shook my head internally thinking she would be used to me but I guess not. "What? I just wanted to see her" Garret yells underneath me still groaning in pain by my knee and I scowled.
"Do you have any weapon on you?" I asked seriously and it surprised me that he snorted out with laughter. "Are you serious? Are you a cop" and I had enough and pulled my fist back to punch him to tell me the truth and he put his hands up in surrender frighteningly shouting out No's that he doesn't.
So I gave him one hard push into the tile floor hearing him groan and I got off him. He got up and rubbed his abdomen and I turned around to walk back into my room when I heard Grace say.
"No, garret I don't want you anymore. It was a one night stand" she says as if he was a child but I continued walking thinking she can handle it but turned right back when I heard her yell to leave her alone but he wouldn't.
I walked over with confidence and coldness and reached over and fisted my hands in his black sweater and roughly pushed him into the door holding a death grip on his throat and he started turning red.
"I fucking love my sleep, and I had to be interrupted through it because your ass won't take a hint. Now she said fucking leave her alone and right now, this very night I think you should listen because I swear to god if Grace comes to me one more time and tell me about your ass. Well you will see something so much worse then this. You got it!"
I yelled angrily and coldly and he couldn't speak, he is Bright red and when I felt Grace pulling on my shirt I released him a bit hearing him taking big gulps of air like his life depended on it and he vigorously nodded.."I"..he coughed as he stuttered "swear..t..hat I will..never bother her again.."he finished with another winded cough and I stared at him intensely while he stared at me with fear.
"Blair stop mate" Grace says softly.."He's telling the truth I assure you" she then added and I let go of Garret and I let go of him and we both watched with I'm guessing with Grace with amusement and me with an emotionless emotion while he scrambled out the door.
Once I shut the door I am taken back when Grace wraps her arms around my waist and puts her face in my chest.
"Thank you Blair!" She said and I stood there with my arms by my side and slowly pushed her away, looked at her and nodded and with a emotionless voice I spoke. "It's whatever Grace. Goodnight" I said and I saw sadness in her eyes and knew she wanted a happy Blair as a friend but this is all she would get.
As I'm walking to the my bedroom, I stopped and pinched between my eyes and spoke again but this time let out a little emotion called amusement.
"Wanker" and I heard her snort and call me other names she calls me and with another laugh goes to her room and I resume taking my shirt off again and going under the covers immediately sleep taking over and I couldn't help but let those piercing blue eyes through staring at me lovingly.
Chapter 19 Guys! That's 3 months fast forward and to see how they are, clearly they're still hurting. Thank you for reading and if you enjoyed this chapter then please vote or comment. Love hearing your thoughts. Thanks again!😊🤘