AN: Sorry if my chapter titles aren't up to par with...creativity. They're usually the names I give an empty page to set up as what the chapter will entail. Normally, I never change it. One of these days you'll see a chapter called "Trash" because it'll be complete garbage and I'll have to apologize in the AN for my poor quality FF chapter. Anyway, enjoy!
Thanks to JDUBZ for being my advisor and editor/critic! Imma be saying this in future chapters to come so get used to it people.
Chapter 6: Left Behind
When Subaru came to he was standing in his living room at his house in Kararagi. His head was filled with questions; what day was it? What happened before he ended up in this his current spot? Why was he-.
"Subaru-kun..." The sound of Rem's voice interrupted Subaru's thoughts. Subaru looked down at Rem's cute face, which gladly wasn't choking on blood. Rem grabbed his hands into hers, one hand had a metal object in it. When was this? Why can't I-, "Rem is the happiest girl in the world."
Once again his thoughts were blown over by Rem's voice and it was welcoming.
Subaru began to remember what was happening here. Valentine's Day, that's the day. Subaru had just given Rem the necklace and now she was happy. Subaru was happy as well, but for a different reason. Subaru was just happy he didn't have to let tell Rem the truth AFTER he made the promise to visit Ram at the mansion. He knew he had to tell Rem the truth, but he still couldn't find the right time. Subaru didn't want to think about it but he had to save Rem.
To save Rem he needed to still have her trust him after he tells her the truth. As soon as Subaru tells Rem she would most likely suspect him to be with the Witch's Cult. Subaru wasn't sure how he was going to pull it off but he started by gripping Rem's hands harder. Closing his eyes, Subaru began to enter the point of no return.
"Rem, I have a...a confession to make," Subaru decided that the best thing for him to do was to look at Rem in the eyes and not have his eyes shut. If he hid his eyes Rem would be unable to read the sincerity in his eyes, "This is something I should've told you 8 months ago."
Subaru opened his eyes again, a single tear forming at the corner of his right eye. Rem's eyes no longer had a beautiful twinkle to them, her mouth was no longer pulled into a smile. Rem didn't know what Subaru was going to say but she knew she wasn't going to like it if it was causing Subaru this much pain. She wanted to comfort him.
"Subaru-kun is sad, is there som-"
"Rem, I'm sorry but I have to say this to you." Subaru interrupted Rem, he didn't want to hear about how she wanted to make him happy. After she hears this she may never want to help him anymore.
"Please just know I did it under the best intentions. I didn't want anyone to get hurt, but I couldn't do anything to prevent it. No one would help me."
Rem spoke up, "I would have helped."
Subaru closed his eyes again, the tear finally dropping. Rem, you have no idea how many times you tried to help. Subaru opened his eyes, looked at Rem, and repeated his thoughts, "You have no idea, Rem."
Subaru collected himself before moving onto his next part. Rem just watched, moving Subaru's hair to behind his ear.
"Rem, 8 months ago we moved here and for 8 months I have been living in guilt. For 8 months I lived everyday wondering when the time would come that you wanted to go to the mansion. For 8 months it hurt me inside every time you mentioned Ram, Emilia, Beatrice, the village. It wasn't because I refused to see them, no it was because I wanted to see them. One more time was what I wanted but I knew I couldn't." Subaru was crying, straining his voice and forcing it to come out.
"It was impossible. I was too late to fix what was wrong, but I had you Rem you kept me alive and sane-"
"What is Subaru-kun talking about?" Rem pointed out her confusion causing Subaru to realizes he was talking too off topic. So instead of talking more of Rem he went right to his point.
Looking into Rem's blue eyes Subaru said in a whisper that seemed to echo throughout the house, "Ram is dead."
Rem let go of Subaru's hands and put hers to her chest. Rem backed away until she hit the kitchen counter behind her, "I-I don't believe you."
Subaru knew this day would come, but maybe this was better than Rem seeing it in person. Subaru went over to a drawer that was next to Rem. He was about to do something he was too cowardly to do in the previous loop. The drawer was large and required a key to open. Subaru pulled out the necessary key and pulled open the drawer.
Inside there was a box. It was the size of a bread box. It had a combination lock: 2241, their birthdays. Inside the box was a bundle of papers, yellowish with age. The words scattered across it in were in a specific order that meant this was a newspaper. Subaru unfolded the papers and read the the title of the front page:
Roswaal Estate Burned to the Ground, Suspected Witch Cultists Escaped!
To accompany the title, a picture of the mansion was shown as burning ashes that were still smoking.
Rem watched Subaru open the box and read the title, "What is it, Subaru-kun?"
Subaru looked at Rem with his bloodshot eyes and said the one word Rem didn't want to hear, "Proof."
Subaru handed Rem the paper, who took it immediately; she read the title, saw the picture, and read the article. The necklace Subaru bought Rem slipped from her hand and hit the ground with a loud THUD. Neither made any attempts to pick it up.
Finally, after 3 agonizing minutes Rem spoke, "Subaru says he wanted to see them again. You said you wanted to help them. Did you know this would happen?" Subaru saw Rem put down the paper, and empty look in her eyes that could either mean she wanted to die or it could also mean she was planning how to torture him. Subaru didn't like those options.
Subaru grinded his his teeth together before answering, "Yes."
"How? How did Subaru know?" Rem was now getting agitated, guess his answer didn't satisfy her not that that he expected it to.
Subaru wanted to tell her. But he physically couldn't. If he mentioned his ability to return by death or the death of people he saw from a previous loop, the witch would tease his heart making sure Subaru knew that if she wanted to pop it like a bubble she could and would.
"I can't tell you." His voice began to break.
"Why?!" Rem was getting louder. Her eyes were getting wet.
"I just....can't."
Rem was mad now tears falling from her eyes, "Why can't you! Why can't you just tell m-!"
Subaru finally had enough. He was going to get nowhere trying to hide that fact that he and Witch Had some sort of connection, "Because...every time I try to tell people I get hurt by the wi-." Once again a searing pain took hold of his heart. This time it was the worst one yet, the witch must be warning him that from now on the pain only gets worse.
Subaru dropped to his knees, clutching his chest. He began to have trouble breathing over the pain. Gasping for air Subaru decided to hit his chest repeatedly, possibly to get the witch to let go of his heart. Whether it was the hitting or not the witch eventually let go, granting Subaru a breath of fresh air.
Getting back up Subaru saw that while he was struggling to survive Rem had not moved a muscle. She never came to his aid when he needed her, Subaru felt like the witch had taken a part of his heart with her.
Rem was expressionless now, thinking. After a minute of silence, interrupted twice by a cough from Subaru, Rem spoke.
"Subaru smell like the witch...all the time. Sometimes you smell stronger than other times. But now I see why you took me out here. To separate me from the mansion so your cult friends could destroy my home without my interference!" Rem was putting together pieces that didn't exist. She was trying to find logic in Subaru's actions and this accusation was what her mind came up with. Subaru had to disagree.
"What?! No, Rem I would never do that to you!" Subaru was trying to gain her trust back, but nothing was working, "Even if I was with the cult, why would I keep you out here for 8 months?! Don't you think I would have killed you by now?!"
These words seemed to reach Rem a bit. It was true, Subaru had no reason to keep Rem alive for 8 months if the cult destroyed the mansion all that time ago. Rem never exactly met any cult members or talked to any so she had no idea what kind of personality people like that had. Subaru was kind, sweet, and funny at times. He bought her gifts and treated her like a queen. A cult member surely wasn't any of those things, but she still had her doubts. Rem turned around showing her back to Subaru, crossing her arms she began to walk toward the bedroom.
"I need time to think." Rem spoke quietly.
Subaru wasn't sure what he should do. Follow her, not follow her, call to her? He just wasn't sure. Subaru decided the safest option would be to call to her, let her say what she wanted him to do.
"Rem, I..I kn-"
"No, Subaru. Please, no more talking. I need time to think and I think it'd be better if you left me alone to my own thoughts." Subaru didn't like the idea, he wanted to be there to comfort her but he knew what Rem spoke was true. Rem needed space. Subaru decided the best thing for him to do was to was to stay at another place for the night and let Rem think.
"Rem, I'm gonna stay at Oki's tonight. Give you space." Rem just nodded with her back still turned. Subaru wanted to say more but thought against it. Instead he turned towards the front door and opened it.
"Subaru? Don't run, if you do Rem will find you." If Subaru ran to escape Rem would just follow the witch's smell and find him.
Subaru's shoulder slacked and agreed to not run. Before exiting the residence Subaru took one last look at Rem and said, "I would never leave you behind, Rem." With that Subaru walked out the door and into the night.
After walking a few streets Subaru pulled out his metia and found Oki's contact name. When he pressed it the metia began to buzz, notifying him that Oki's metia was buzzing as well. Within two buzzes Oki picked up. His face showing on the monitor of the metia.
"Huh? Wha-? Subaru are you still up? Don't you have work tomorrow?" Oki's friendly voice came from the speakers. This brought a smile to Subaru's face.
"Yeah, uh....Oki I need to ask you a question. Do you mind if you stay at your place for tonight?" Subaru asked awkwardly for he's never exactly asked to sleep at someone else's house before.
Oki instantly came up with his own conclusion from Subaru's request, "Ahhhhhh...had a little fight with the Mrs. huh? What was it? Disagreement? Trust?"
Subaru was feeling very awkward still talking about this, "You could say that, yeah." Subaru rubbed the back of his head.
"Don't worry Subaru buddy. My house is your hou-," Oki got distracted by something in his right, "Hey! Quit it with the party trick! You've spilled enough beer on me tonight!"
Subaru got the gist of what Oki was trying to say though, "So can I just head down there now?"
"No no no no. Come on Subaru, I'm at The Portable Pub if there's anything I know about fighting with women it's that you'll always need beer. Lots and lots and lots of beer." Oki then got really close to his metia. "Except you because you don't drink much. Also I wanna talk to you about your fight maybe I can help."
Subaru wasn't sure what help a drunk Oki would provide, but he agreed nonetheless. "Okay, Oki I'll see you there. Thanks for helping me out." Subaru hung up and looked at the city's time tower: 9:00pm. He had time to get a drink. Subaru began to walk to wards the direction of The Portable Pub.
"You see, Subaru. Women are....like flowers; they're delicate and need lots of attention to be happy and healthy. They also need food and water. No wait, plants only need water. Where'd I get food from?" Oki gasped, "Now I'm hungry. Where's the food around here?" Oki began to look around and under the table as if the food was hiding from his view. Dunk Oki was the best Oki.
"For the fifth time, Fatty. I ain't got no food around here." The man that said it was the owner of The Portable Pub. He had light brown hair and brown eyes. His pointed jaw and long cheeks gave him the appearance of a serious person so his accent didn't quite go with his looks. Some would say he was handsome but Subaru was a guy so he just saw an average Joe. Standing only 2 inches taller that Subaru, Subaru was without a doubt the shortest of the group. Surprisingly, Subaru had never really met the man up until then. Whenever Oki and him came to the pub the man was usually handing out beers or talking to other people. This man didn't even look like he would be someone to own a bar. With skinny arm and legs he always wore, as work clothes, a white, button-down long sleeve shirt and black slacks. What he lacked in strength the man made up in ice magic. Subaru has yet to see him in combat, but he has seen him make some pretty amazing snow storms to keep the alcohol cool.
"What?! You don't have food and you call yourself a pub?! Hahaha ahahaha!" This was the fifth tie Oki started slamming the table in laughter. Apparently Oki develops short term memory loss when drunk.
"And for the fifth time; shut up!" The ice wielder conjured a snowball from thin air and threw it at Oki's red face. Oki was then snapped out of his delusional ways.
Oki looked around in confusion he saw Subaru on his right and the man in the left. Oki instantly put his arm around Subaru gave him a smile.
"Hey, Subaru! When did you get here? Oh oh oh I want you to meet Kenshi. But he said I can call him Ken. Don't worry he's a good guy." Oki's red face and booze smelling breath was a bit too close for Subaru.
"Yes, I've met him before. Five times to be exact." Subaru just counted the times Oki introduced him drunkenly.
Ken just face palmed, "I have gots to find a new location." Ken saw that Subaru was a bit uncomfortable. Being the one to make friends with just about anybody Ken decided to talk to Subaru.
"So...ah," Ken scratched his head trying to think of something to talk about, "Oki told me ya' were having lady issues. I may not be much help but as of now I'm all ears and Oki ain't gonna hear crap." Ken flicked Oki's ear who was now sound asleep. Oki reacted with a grunt.
Subaru wasn't sure he wanted to discuss this with a somewhat stranger, but he also wasn't sure what to do about Rem. He decided to take up on his offer, "My girlfriend doesn't trust me. I lied to her about something serious thinking I was protecting her. But in reality I was just making it worse, by the time she found out she wasn't sure who I was anymore." Subaru played with his beer coaster. Flipping it in random directions, a distraction from looking at Ken.
"Might I ask what it is that is causing her sufferin'?" Ken scooted closer to Subaru, or as close as he could get with Oki in the way.
"I'd rather not say." Subaru closed his eyes.
"No worries. I do have a question you do need to answer; do ya' love her?"
Subaru looked up at Ken like that was a stupid question, "Of course, I brought her here to Kararagi to escape the people trying to take her away from me, but she doesn't see that..."
"Ahhh.....I see. Well there's only one solution I would give to ya' in hopes of gettin' her to love ya' again." Ken readjusted in his seat.
Subaru looked up at Ken. "And what would that be?"
"Ya' tell her. You meet with her and you tell her how much she means to ya' and you tell her why ya' refuse to let her go. Shower her with words only a true gentleman would speak of, but take it from the heart. You love her, I can see it in your eyes."
Ken was right, he did love her. He would do anything for Rem; run through a monster infested forest to reach her, walk into a cult's cave to see her again, take her with him to another country, give her anything she wanted, buy her everything she deserved. Rem needed to know. She needed to know how much he cared about her.
Subaru got up and walked away, forgetting his beer.
"Woah woah. Where ya' goin' mate?" Ken turned in his chair to look at Subaru.
Subaru looked at Ken with determination on his eyes, "I'm going to tell Rem that I love her more than she'll ever know. Thanks, Ken. You're a true friend."
"Well at least help me with Oki first! The man's a behemoth! I can't move him on my own!" Ken made his point by shoving Oki who barely moved a muscle.
Subaru already began to walk away, "Just splash some cold water on him that'll wake him up." With that Subaru took off towards his house. He could already imagine it; he would knock on the door, Rem would answer and before she had time to react he would embrace her and kiss her. He wouldn't stop kissing her until he felt he made his point, then he would tell her of his burning passion to be with her forever. Rem's beautiful would smile back at him with tears in her eyes and say, "Subaru-kun..."
Subaru didn't stop running until he was across the street from his house. In one of the windows Subaru saw Rem getting ready for bed, a beautiful sight. Subaru made his way to the front door.
Knocking lightly, Subaru began to feel anxious and nervous. What if she still doesn't want to see him again? No. He had to do it now. Knocking again Subaru closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
Rem heard the knocking a second time and decided it must be a neighbor. It was strange that someone would come at this hour. Rem approached the door and looked through the peephole. Nothing. Rem opened the door and stepped outside, looked around and saw nothing. Rem stepped back inside, looking over her shoulder once more before closing the door behind her.
Subaru exhaled his breath. He could do this. He was the man. Subaru opened his eyes and was greeted to the sight of a familiar street.
Subaru was absolutely confused. A car drove by shining him in light temporarily. Wait! A car?!
Subaru looked over and saw that, yes, the creature was indeed a car. If that was a car and he was on a familiar street then that meant only one thing.
Subaru turned around and was greeted to a brightly lit convenience store. The same one he left right when he was transported to another world.
"Rem?" The only thing came to mind was Rem. "REM!?" Subaru yelled her name multiple times hoping she would magically appear.
He couldn't believe this was happening. He was there, he was going to love and cherish Rem with all his being. But now she was gone. Subaru fell to his hands and knees taking quick, rapid breathes. Every once in awhile he would say Rem's name. Rem. Rem. Rem.
Subaru was in his own thoughts now. He didn't even hear the voice of a man who came for the store to check on him to see if he was OK.
The man looked at him and went silent, "S...Subaru?"
Subaru didn't hear him. All he thought was how the last thing he said to Rem was a lie.
I would never leave you behind, Rem.
But now here he was, in his old world with no known way of going back. In essence, he had truly left Rem behind.
AN: BOOM! There it is people. Finally after 6 chapters we are at the point where my Fan Fiction title actually makes sense. If you enjoyed please leave a comment. See you all in the next chapter. :P