Everything seems to make perfect sense now, Sid thought. Although he got answers for his all questions, The Krishna Love, was still inaccessible for him. He was sitting on marble stairs; it was cold as ice because of the dawn. 4:15 a.m., these numbers displayed on his digital watch. His right hand was inside a bead bag—softly trying to chant Hare Krishna mantra—and left hand was inside his jean's pocket.
You may become the world's greatest scholar in the future, but if you don't have the love for God. You're good for nothing. He remembered these words of Braja that have deeply moved him.
He was waiting for Braja who has invited him in the temple to attend morning chanting.
"Hare Krishna!" Braja broke Sid's reverie.
Sid greeted the same with a muffled voice that even a wax moth couldn't hear. He got up and shook hands with his mentor, who said: "Let's go. I'm glad you came, I thought you wouldn't come this early."
Only a smile was the response from Sid. Both of them headed to the temple hall. It was the time for Mangal Aarti which is a devotional prayer offered to Lord Krishna every morning at 4.00 a.m.
As Sid stepped into the temple hall, his eyes lit up because of chandelier's light. He felt like stepping into the spiritual world. The whole atmosphere was transcendental and ecstatic. The lead singer was singing the prayer in a melodious voice. Devotees were singing and dancing rhythmically—males on the left, females on the right. The fragrance of incense was all pervading. Nothing could've been blissful than this.
It was four past thirty. Now it was the time for the most exciting moment of the day. All the devotees gathered near the altar to caught a glimpse of Krishna's deity. Sid felt his heartbeat raced up because it was the first sighting of Krishna's deity. Curiosity flooded his heart.
At first, an enchanting voice of conch shells reverberated the temple hall; it was a song. For about ten seconds there was pin drop silence. When the song started simultaneously the doors of the altar pulled open, inside were the all-attractive deities of Radha and Krishna. A stream of tears rolled down from Sid's cheeks as his cast eyes on the deities; he could believe how it happened. No idea. A chasm of devotion for the first time struck his heart. Maybe because of the song. Govindam Adi Purusam Tam Aham Bhajami were the lyrics.
Many devotees started dancing in ecstasy, but Sid stood motionless like a statue, from his left and right side expert dancers made their way. But neither he moved, nor anyone pushed him. His eyes saw nothing but the deities. Although he was speechless, his expression spoke a lot. He experienced an uncontrolled flow of tears. Is this what Braja meant The Krishna Love?
When the song ended, he unconsciously prostrated on the floor to set a prayer. It's a long, long, long time. How could I ever have lost you? So many years I was searching. I'm back, Krishna. I surrender myself unto You. Please accept me as Your servant. Make me stay! Please, make me stay! I don't wanna go back. His tears dropped on the marble floor.
Little did he know Lord Krishna wanted to test him.
****
After having delicious lunch, Sid went to Youth Forum to complete Mahabharat book reading which he had borrowed from Braja. He was on the part where the battle between Pandavas and Kauravas was about to begin. It took him three hours to complete the whole war sequence. He tirelessly and uninterruptedly read and finished the whole book.
But one disturbing thing cropped up. The queries about Krishna's conspiracies muddled his mind with skepticism. How can Krishna be so cunning? He should have used fair means to win the battle. After all, He's God; He can do anything. Let's face it; Sid doubted if Krishna is God.
Fortunately, Braja stepped into the room, right when Sid was about break down. His eyes observed a puzzled look on Sid's face. "Are you alright?"
Sid didn't know how to put his queries into a polite manner because it was offensive what he wanted to ask. It was a bewildering situation for him. Just this morning, he was overwhelmed with The Krishna Love, and now he doubted the whole process. He knew this was a critical moment. Coming hour would decide, whether he'd practice devotion to Krishna or not.
His eyelids at first didn't lift to see Braja, who was ready to dispel Sid's confusion, smiling confidently. A moment later, he closed his eyes for awhile and slowly opened them only to fix at Braja and began to narrate his queries:
At the climax of Mahabharat, Pandavas and Kauravas gathered in the battlefield of Kurukshetra, ready to send each other to the abode of death. The leader of Kauravas, Duryodhana, went to his commander in chief and explained his military strength. He also limned Pandavas' military phalanx, but he forgot to mention one person—that was Lord Krishna—who wasn't a participant but the charioteer of Arjuna.
Lord Krishna's face was adorned with a smile as if He has already won the battle. No human intellect could have figure out what was running through His mind. His plan was to defeat Kauravas within eighteen days.
Now cutting to the chase, some critics accuse Him as the real villain of Mahabharat since He used deceit to kill the opponents.
Till tenth day Bhishma wreaked havoc in Pandavas' army. There was a mass destruction that humanity never experienced in the past or will see in the future. Screams were all-pervading in this blood-soaked battlefield. More than sweat, blood that was oozing out from everyone's body.
Bhishma's celestial arrows were like comets falling upon the army of Pandavas. To behold such annihilation of his army, the leader of Pandavas, Yudhishthira, would go to Lord Krishna now and then to disclose his anxiety-ridden mind. "My Lord, I think I should take renunciation. The way Grandsire is slaughtering our army; I don't believe that we'll see the face of victory."
Flashing a mesmerizing smile, Lord Krishna gave him assurance and told him to keep patience. Next day, He made Shikhandi stand in front of the mighty Bhishma, who put down his weapon because he thought he couldn't raise his weapon against a woman (Shikhandi was transgender, though).
And then Krishna told Arjuna to shoot arrows; this was something unimaginable and despicable for Arjuna. Shooting arrows at an unarmed warrior? Not just that but Bhishma was his beloved grandfather. He remembered an incident from his childhood when he used to run after his grandfather to hug him, thinking of him as his father. While fondling his grandson's back, Bhishma used to reply: "I've told you many times, son, I'm not your father. I'm father of your father."
Krishna had to snap His devotee out of this flashback. He forced Arjuna to shoot arrows, which a little later he did. Within minutes, Bhishma collapsed on the ground, lying on the bed of arrows made by Arjuna.
If you look at codes and conduct of war, it's against the rules to attack an unarmed soldier. But Krishna broke this rule and used deceit to kill Bhishma. How can God be deceitful?
Then came the turn of Drona to die. Lord Krishna told Bhima. "Go and tell Drona, 'Ashwathama hatha—Ashwathamah is dead.'"
The intention behind this was, Krishna knew Drona had taken a vow that he would stop fighting only if his son, Ashwatama, dies. Needless to say, a shiver of fear chilled Drona's spine when he heard about his son's death.
He went to Yudhishthira to confirm the death of his son, who has the reputation of never telling lies all his life. He spoke with a gentle voice: "Is it true, my son is dead?" This request landed Yudhishthira on the horns of a dilemma. He would prefer embracing death, instead of saying the truth.
Krishna was aware of this fact, so He manipulated Yudhistir to speak half truth, who famously stated. "Ashwathama hatha narvo kunjarova—Ashwathama is dead, but I don't know if it's elephant named Ashwathama or your son."
Drona was naturally suspicious, so he thought to check it out by himself. He sat on his chariot, and he went into an astral projection to search for the dead body of his son. Now nobody knew Drona was out of his body, except Krishna.
He told Drishtadyum to go and separate Drona's head from the body. Drishtadyum went and slashed the head. As per code and conduct, one shouldn't attack an unarmed soldier, but again Krishna broke the rule. How can God do this?
Then came the time for most awaited duel; Karna and Arjuna. At last, both warriors came face to face after their lifelong rivalry. The battle between them became so intense that everybody stopped fighting and stood to watch this duel.
An important note: Krishna saved Arjuna from a deadly divine arrow named Sarpasastra. If Krishna hasn't intervene that celestial arrow would have killed Arjuna.
At the peak moment of this battle when Karna's chariot got stuck in the ground. He told Arjuna to stop so that he can pull out the wheel of his chariot and continue fighting. And Arjuna did stop. But Krishna ordered him. "Why are you waiting? Just shoot."
"But Lord this is against the rules of war," Arjuna said calmly.
"How many rules this fellow has followed throughout his life. Just kill him."
Arjuna felt his heart skipped a beat; he thought it's completely unjust. Also, he has a grudge towards Karna; he wanted to defeat him in a fair battle.
But then some questions started racking his mind which he wanted to clarify. "I always derided Karna by calling him as the son of chariot driver—sutaputra, sutaputra—all my life." His voice began cracking. "But I'm dead sure, my Lord, he's a Kshritya. Because when he talks about wisdom, he reminds me of Yudhistir. When he is angry, he reminds me of Bhima. In archery, we are equal. In beauty, he's like Nakul. In horse riding and swordsmanship he's like Sahadev. O Krishna, please tell me the real identity of this guy."
Did Krishna say Karna is, actually, the eldest Pandava? No. Instead, His words obliterated this inquisition that sprouted in Arjuna's heart. "So, you really want to know who this guy is? He's the one who suggested to strip naked your wife, Draupadi. Remember that Kuru assembly? He's the one who killed your son, Abhimanyu, by cheating in this same battlefield. Just shoot him right now. He doesn't deserve to live."
These words of Krishna ablaze Arjuna with anger. He shot the arrow and Karna's head chopped off.
Why Krishna flinched from telling the truth? He supposes to be the upholder of truth? In short, again Krishna used deceit.
On the final day of the battle—the eighteenth day. When Duryodhana's mother was about to give him the power of her austerity, just before the last day, Krishna manipulated Duryodhana to cover his lower parts. And he agreed because he knew according to code and conduct of war, one cannot hit below the waist.
On the last day, Yudhistir put a foolish proposal to Duryodhana, which was an uncalculated gamble. "Duryodhana, I know you are alone and helpless. Therefore, you can choose any one of us, if you win, then you win the battle."
Krishna facepalmed Himself; He chastised Yudhistir for putting forward this offer. What if Duryodhana would have chosen Nakula? He could trounce him.
Being Supersoul in everyone's heart, Krishna shot a glance at Duryodhana and prompted him within to choose Bhima; this means Duryodhana could have opted for a weaker opponent, but it was Krishna's mystic power that made him do the opposite. Just see how crooked He had been?
When these two giants began mace fighting, their attacks on each other were like thunderbolts. Duryodhana overpowered his opponent. Never in a million years, Bhima thought his enemy would thrash so badly. If the battle has lasted for next five minutes, Bhima could have been history.
Was Duryodhana able to kill Bhima? No. It's because Krishna intervened and hinted Bhima to hit his opponent on the thighs. Again, against the rules of combat.
As Duryodhana was about to place another blow on his feeble opponent; Bhima dodged and gave a powerful hit on the thighs of Duryodhana. It was so intense that Duryodhana's spinal cord ripped apart and he dropped dead. Thus Pandavas won the battle.
If anyone scrutinizes these events with fair means it was impossible for Pandavas to win the battle, in fact, the results would be the other way around.
It was only because of Krishna they won. But how they won? Krishna used tricks and deceits. How can millions and millions of people revered such person as God? God suppose to set an example, how can He expect His followers to behave morally when He never upheld moral conduct?
Sid ended his narration with a mind ridden with anxiety. He felt someone kept a boulder of confusion on his heart and sucked his intelligence out. He was never as bewildered as this. Only one question haunted his mind: how can Krishna be deceitful?
No wonder why some call Him the real villain of Mahabharat. Unfortunately, Sid did think like this at the present moment.
He looked morosely at Braja, who except smiling did nothing. In fact ripples of joy embraced Braja as he heard one after another deceit of Krishna. Why is he so ecstatic?
"And not only that!" Sid continued, "Even an ethereal voice proclaimed. 'Pandavas! The way you have killed Bhishma, Drona, Karna, and Duryodhana, it's all by unjust means.' Of course, Pandavas' mouths went dry; they looked at Krishna helplessly. But He told them to shrug it off because He is the Supreme Lord, and Celestials are under His jurisdiction.
"So if you see these pastimes. The point that critics makes is not that wrong, Krishna indeed used unjustifiable deceit. If you see it from Krishna's perceptive, the whole Mahabharat war was rigged. This also means we don't have any freedom or freewill because everything is ultimately controlled by God. Why did Krishna do that? I seriously need help, I can't make head or tail out of it with my logical thinking."
Sid felt his devotion was at stake. All his introspections, his yearning to seek the Absolute Truth seemed pointless to him at this moment. Although he found out the Absolute Truth, Lord Krishna, the pastimes of the Lord flabbergasted him.
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A/N: I hope you loved this chapter and I'm able to bring out emotions in you. Also added Govindam song by George Harrison, do listen to that. I have taken Mahabharat war sequence from a book by Kumar Vyas. Please vote, and I want to see your comments :D :p