Cr: art from IG; sasunaru_and_narusasu
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Sasuke's eyes wandered over the green field that sway back and forth as the wind blow over the grass. A smile appeared in that usually sealed lips of his, mind and heart delighted which he hasn't been in a long time.
"But how did I get here?" Sasuke mumbled as his finger scratched the back of his neck. He searched in his memories but still, he got the same answer, this was an unknown place to him. He was sure that he didn't know any place like this one and it was not strange at all considering how he live. He was like an owl, worked only night shifts at the pub to make a living, and stayed at his apartment in the mornings tills his next shift.
"Oh well, I will surely find it back."
While he was trying to enjoy the view, his ears heard a mysterious sound and it become clear as he focused on what the sound was.
"Crying?" Sasuke look around him, hoping to see the owner of the sound but none was there. In this big green field, there was only a cherry tree that was blossoming beautifully. Sasuke's eyes stopped at that and his feet begin to make their way toward that tree.
"Must be there."
The sobbing echoed when he neared the tree. Sasuke get a chill down his spine because it was pretty creepy to hear out here.
"Are you alright? Do you need help?" Sasuke asked because he was sure it was a person and not an animal. He would help the person if he is in need even though it means the person might disturb this peaceful place.
Sasuke saw the owner of the cry but he couldn't see who it was because the person has buried his face between his knees. He extended his hand to tap the person's shoulder in the hope to make the person aware that he wasn't alone.
Realizing someone's touch on his shoulder, the person who was crying stiffened before he slowly raised his head. He craned his head and looked at the person standing beside him.
"Ho-...how did you get here?" Sasuke was beyond surprised, in disbelief that the person in front of him was none other than the one he didn't think he would see.
"Naruto?"
Sasuke gazed at Naruto standing up in his whole height, he wore a white shirt that was unbuttoned in the collar, a bit loosened necktie, black pants, and a black blazer that hung on his shoulders that fall when he stood up. Sasuke feels like he has seen Naruto in this suit before.
'Oh, wasn't he wearing these clothes when they met the first time?"
Lost in the moment, Sasuke's eyes wandered to that loosened necktie and saw the collar bones that is showing. Sasuke thought it was sexy but snapped out from it once he realize what he was thinking.
'I didn't even see it that time. Why am I seeing it now and even think it was sexy?!'
Lifting his eyes to Naruto's face, his heart almost dropped because of the way Naruto was looking at him with such pain in his eyes. No one had ever had that look in their eyes while looking at him before. Sasuke's heart was screaming with agony, he urgently wanted to pull the man in front of him to his embrace but he hesitated.
'Would he let me? Maybe I should just try without fearing to lose my face.'
As he thought he don't need to care anymore if it would hurt his pride if Naruto denied his touch and embrace, he extended his arm. Once he was about to reach Naruto, the man averted his eyes, sealed his lips, turned, and faced the other direction as if he doesn't want him to reach him.
"Naruto." Sasuke called out, his voice was full of pain and disappointment but Naruto didn't turn to look at him. Seeing Naruto's lonely back facing him while he walked to the distance made Sasuke's body weaken. He could have fallen on his knees but now wasn't the right time, he needed to make Naruto talk to him. With that thought in his mind, Sasuke make a run to Naruto, and just when he caught up to him, Naruto turned and looked at him with that same saddened eyes.
"Goodbye!" Naruto said but Sasuke could hardly hear it because his voice was so low.
"Wha-...what?" Sasuke's eyes widened, his heart stopped there and his hand that was about to grab Naruto's arm halted. He wasn't ready for this, not now. He needed Naruto to tell him what he meant but that instant that his hand was about to touch Naruto, Naruto vanished into thin air as if he wasn't there, to begin with.
"Narutooo!" The whole room was filled with Sasuke's scream. Because his heart was racing so much, Sasuke was unable to breathe normally and his eyes wandered all around the room.
Sasuke stepped out of his bed, out from the bedroom, and into the kitchen. Heart still beating like a drum, he poured the water which he took out from the fridge and drink without pausing.
"It was only a dream." Sasuke wiped the cold sweat from his forehead.
"Now you even disturbing my sleep?"
When Sasuke finish with his daily routine, the clock was showing 2 pm. He got 4 hours before his work at the pub begin. He flop down on the sofa while his eyes wandered all around the place as if he was searching for something to do. He sighed when there was nothing that needed to be done anymore. These days he tries to drown himself in every little work he sees to prevent himself from thinking too much of a certain someone. Never in his life has he been this restless because of someone but Naruto proves him wrong. He keeps on appearing in his thoughts and now even in his dreams where none has ever had access to.
"You might just feel guilty for what you did." Sasuke tells himself.
Sasuke remembered that night when he did something he wouldn't do to any man. That night, after what happened in the toilet, Naruto didn't return to the table and the seat where he sat was replaced with another man. He remembered that once Ino saw the couple, she told them the couple were lovers and was friends of her friend, Shikamaru, that their parents were close with. Sasuke remembered how his whole world crashed down on him after what he heard from Ino. It was the very first time that he felt he has done someone wrong and was troubled by it. Never in his life has he the need to worry about him doing something wrong to someone because he never let anyone into his life. He always stayed in the shadow and was always drowning in the darkness. Never has he allowed any light to guide him out of it. Darkness was his comfort zone, his only friend and he was fine with that.
All his life, up until now, he has never trusted anyone and has never had a deep relation. He was alone from the moment he can remember. People would try to approach him, all because of his look and the mysterious aura he give off. They were drawn to that mystery and had every intention to break down the wall that he had built. It seemed like they were enjoying the competition they had with each other but sooner or later they all backed off. They were getting enough of his coldness, only two remained, Sakura and Ino. Ino eventually got herself a boyfriend and become his friend instead. Sakura, on the other hand, remained the same as ever but he only see her as a friend. He thought being a friend was better than a lover, a friend stick out with you in a lifelong relation but a lover could become a stranger when something went wrong. He doesn't want to be a stranger to Sakura.
If Sasuke has to admit, in Naruto's case he didn't categorize him as a friend nor did he categorize him as a lover. For him, Naruto was someone who should be vanished from his life after that introduction but he was wrong. Not only didn't he vanish but instead he keep on appearing in his life. After the confession and what happened at the toilet that night, Naruto occupied his thoughts, dreams, and even his very being. This was something Sasuke would never admit to anyone, not even to himself.
Sasuke starts to question this new feeling that awakened by Naruto, the feeling he has never experienced or didn't even know he has in him. He wasn't sure if it was guilt or something else.
'What am I feeling?'
Sasuke was certain that it wasn't love but then again he hasn't had a love relation before so how can he be sure that it wasn't it.
'Do it make me gay?'
Sasuke frowned at the thought. He knew that he wasn't fond of men even though he hasn't had a girlfriend. People might laugh if they knew he still is a virgin at the age of 25 but it was the truth. If he has to admit, he hasn't even kissed a girl, to begin with, but he didn't dislike the one he had with Naruto.
Sasuke remembered that time when he said disgusting to Naruto and how Naruto reacted to that. To be honest, it pained him badly when he saw such hurt expression on Naruto's face. But the confession was too sudden and he was on the thought of not letting Naruto interfere with him so he decided to tell him off. He didn't need Naruto nor any other people. That was what he thought until he saw Naruto with the beauty Hinata. That time he was so upset and mad that Naruto didn't value him more, that Naruto didn't try harder and didn't go to the pub where he work again. He ignored the fact that he was the one who told Naruto to never show his face again. That was then he decided to do something he wouldn't do to any human beings in this world, he kissed and humiliated Naruto, all because he was so jealous.
'Why would I be jealous? Was I?...No, it couldn't be.. I mean...no.'
Sasuke shook his head, as though he was trying to shake off the thoughts in his mind. He brings his hand between his brows and massages it. He was so tired of thinking, too tired to feel the way he was feeling, and was tired of always looking at that certain spot where a certain someone sat every time he came whenever he go work at the pub.
Sasuke don't know how to deal with the feelings that he was facing. He was wondering if he should just ignore it all along but on second thought he was sure he couldn't do that. Then again he wasn't sure what is the point in thinking about it if he can't return the same feeling to Naruto. He wondered if he could act normally with Naruto now that he know how Naruto felt about him. If he couldn't return the same feeling as Naruto, wouldn't it hurt Naruto more? After constant thoughts, one thing was clear, he wanted to meet Naruto again if he ever get a chance like that.
"When that day come, i will discover what I really feel about you, Naruto."
Sasuke felt like his heart and mind had different commanders, they seen to not work along together. Even though his mind keep on telling him he should stay away from Naruto, his heart and body yearned for him. This was driving him crazy as he don't know how he should handle it. But he knows that he won't want to push Naruto away from him anymore. When the time comes for them to meet again, this time he will make sure he holds onto Naruto even though he might only be able to give him friendship.
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