Blind and ambiguous, all part of the game
I've feigned my ambivalence with a smile
All my hate beneath me forms a cage
~Nevermore "Ambivalence"
The hot afternoon air blew mildly above the horizon. It was a gloomy day and everyone was well aware of that fact. Alicia sluggishly walked out of school as the final bell rang. Who would have thought that after all that she had experienced over the weekend she would still have the guts to come back to school.
Today she wasn't the usually classy and bold Maya Fox, she simply looked like a hobo. Her baggy sweatpants and hoodie said it all. And her messily knotted hair highlighted the fact that she would kill anyone who dared to speak to her. After she was hit with flashes of what happened the night she died, she screamed, bawled, and cried like a child whose toy had been snatched away until Ana Perla barged in to help soothe her.
Alicia was pretty sure Ana Perla wasn't the only one she had woken up in the entire vicinity, but nothing mattered then. Finding out that someone you loved, might or might not have killed you, surpassed all her worries. She didn't sleep a wink, even as Ana Perla held her tightly and whispered soothing words into her ears.
Alicia did not speak that night, she remained stuck in her daze till the next day, when she was hit with the final blow and full out sobbed as she told Ana Perla bits of what happened the night she died. Ana Perla was speechless for a while but easily broke out of her muteness and convinced Alicia to look into the matter before she made any rash decision. Just this once Alicia decided to listen to her because some part of her really wished Zach hadn't done something that terrible to her. Like Ana Perla had said, she was going to look into the matter before she was forced to kill Zach.
Alicia couldn't help feeling frazzled when she noted how this particular walk to the car park was taking so long. She winced as the oblique sun rays hit her, pulling her hoodie over her head, she started a brisk walk in search of Philippe. Her eyes narrowed into angry slits when they saw someone instead. "I told you to stop following me," she glowered.
"I'm not following you. I just need to talk to you." Zach said frustratedly. He combed his hands through his flaxen hair and looked at her intently.
Alicia sneered and continued walking, "And I don't want to talk to you. Why are you bent on talking to me when you don't even know who I am,"
"I know who you are," Alicia's eyes nearly popped out of their holding. She stopped walking causing Zach to almost topple her over.
"You know who I am?" Alicia asked, surprise overtaking her anger.
Zach groped for words, "Yes." he paused, "We met at the ball remember?"
Alicia breathed in relief and resumed walking, "That gives you no right to follow me around. Just stay the hell away from me." she shouted.
Zach took a step back, lifting his hands in exasperation, he said, "I'm not foll—You know what, suit yourself I'm out of here."
"No one invited you here in the first place. Next time you follow me or try to talk to me, you will not like what I'm going to do to you." Alicia threatened. "Take me out of here Philippe." She said when she Philippe hovering around their usual spot.
Philippe didn't need to ask why she was in a bad mood. The look on Zach's face made him think he had probably interrupted a couple fight. He opened the door for the young miss and run to open his. He quickly sped off, but kept stealing glances at the review mirror when he noticed the pretty boy still standing there even as distance stretched them like a long elastic.
Alicia closed her eyes, releasing soft gusts of air from her delicate lips. "Phillipe can you drop me off at cafe d'a luna I need to grab a drink,"
Philippe eyed her warily, "You don't think I believe that, do you?"
"I'm not going to runaway,"
"You always say that and end up doing opposite."
"Okay Philippe you can also come along."
"I was going to come along anyway."
"You are my chauffeur not my bodyguard!" Alicia said angrily and slouched into her seat. Nothing was going her way.
"I'm not letting you out of my sight Miss Maya." He said with finality.
They arrived at the coffee shop some minutes later. Alicia walked wearily as Phillipe followed her, he was very serious about not letting her out of his sight. The hotness of the weather created beads of sweat on her face. She wiped it with her paws and lifted her eyes to the bronze plate which said welcome to Cafe D'luna as Phillipe opened the door for her. A bell dinged as they entered.
The cool air in the shop met her with gladness, massaging her fears and relaxing her senses. The sweet smell of coffee and chocolate wafted in the air and pinched her nostrils in pleasure. The enticing smell brought back memories—good memories. Memories she would gladly relive without any objection.
Her eyes drifted to the coffee bar, that was where Raina worked. And that was the first place she always went anytime she entered the shop. Raina was her confidante, her only friend next to Bill and Mitchie, and her go-to-girl when she was going through things she couldn't fight alone. Raina knew her more than anything and if anyone was going to understand, it was her.
Alicia asked herself why Raina didn't go to the police when she knew who killed her. She felt a little betrayed and a little hurt. Alicia knew Raina was going to help her, and it was going to start with telling her who killed the old Alicia. She already knew it was Zach but she was here to clarify her claims. She was here for answers and she wasn't leaving without them.
She walked to a table for two at the end of the capacious room and made herself comfortable on one of the seats. Sitting quietly, she listened to the whirring sounds of the baroque classical music which was been played at the background. The bright lights on the slanted ceiling, twinkled on the marble stone tiled floors, adding a colorful touch to the modest wooden furnitures which were all sorrel. She glanced at Raina's work station and wondered where she was. Her shift was usually around this time. In her place was a bony sharp mouthed woman who looked not more over twenty six.
Alicia stood up, "Sit here. I'll go place our orders," she said to Phillipe and whisked off not waiting for his reply. She studied the barista and confidently walked towards her.
Ignoring the line of fuming people behind her, she asked, "Where is Raina?"
"Raina who?" The barista asked as she operated on the coffee maker.
"Raina Collins. Big blue eyes, curly black hair."
"Don't know anybody with that name. Now are you going to scuttle off or place your order, I've got work to do."
"You should know who she is. She used to work here about a year ago," Alicia desperately pressed on.
"But you don't see her around, do you?" The woman scowled.
"But—"
"What's going on here Susan?" A beefy man appeared behind the counter. Alicia knew who he was. Alex Griffin was the owner of the shop and she clearly remembered she used to hate how controlling he was, especially were Raina was concerned.
"Nothing boss. Just a stupid girl trying to hold up the line. Said she's looking for a girl called Raina. Don't worry I've got everything under control, she was just leaving."
Alicia grimaced and turned to Mr Griffith, "You know her right?" she asked sounding hopeful.
"Who are you?" Mr Griffith asked suspiciously.
"A friend of hers."
"And you don't know what happened to her?" Mr Griffith asked suspiciously and stared at Alicia.
"What happened to her?" Alicia asked. Was she the only one confused here?
"Come with me." Mr Griffith said pulling her out of the line. Alicia saw Philippe jump out of his seat when he saw her walking with Mr Griffith, but she mouthed that she would be right back and he relaxed a little. Some minutes later she came out of the office she had entered, face streaming with tears. Philippe rushed to her and demanded what was wrong. She didn't say anything but continued to hug him. "Can you please take me to the asylum?" she asked and even though Philippe didn't want to take her, they found themselves there a few hours later.
^^
"Miss Maya, I don't think this is a good idea," Philippe said as a tall brick building came into view.
"I'm here to visit a friend. I'll be out before you know it." Alicia said, getting out of the car. The sun was slowly setting and its orangeness created a beautiful spark in the grey cloudless skies. Alicia entered the institution and approached a nurse sitting behind a large desk which was bolted to the lofty white walls. The nurse looked bored and that was enough for Alicia to put her plan into action. "Hi there Miss Roberts," she read from the name tag on her pale blue up and down nurse uniform. "I'm here to see Raina Collins." She smiled sweetly and widened her eyes with hope.
"Visiting hours are over," Miss Roberts snapped. Holding her nail clipper tightly, she went back to her untrimmed nails which needed some serious filing.
"I won't take long. I'm only here to deliver message from her parents."
"Look here kid, I've had a long day trying to keep some crazy lunatics at bay, so you been here right now isn't really helping." She shouted, and continued. "Like I said visiting hours are over."
Alicia decided to pull her last card, there and then. She closed her eyes, and forcefully remembered all the hurtful things that had happened to her. Her parents who never saw eye to eye, how bad she was treated in crow high, her miserable death, and Raina been locked up in a mental institution. It wasn't too hard getting herself to cry, she was accustomed to tears. They were always knocking on the doors of her heart to be let out.
She wailed, "Miss Roberts, you think your life is hard? I got back from Canada two days ago and was only told today that my best friend was locked in this institution. What is even worse is that I woke up around 5am to catch a bus to this place from Hargrove. I was all smiles because I knew I was finally going to see Raina after three years of been apart even though she is not in the best of states. When out of nowhere I was mugged by thieves. I was beaten so hard. See this scar here," Alicia said showing her a scar on her tummy. It was already there before she took possession of the body.
"It looks like an old wound to me," Miss Roberts squinted her eyes.
Alicia sobbed, "You are missing the point here." she continued the waterworks, "I went through a lot today because I really wanted to see Raina. And you tell me that visiting hours are over?"
"I'm sorry."
"Please let me see her. I'm not going to take long. I must see her otherwise I'm going to die for real," Alicia overdramatised.
Miss Roberts looked around worriedly, "Okay fine. But you can only see her for ten minutes. No one is allowed into the wards around this time." Alicia nodded, wiping her tears. That explained why the place was dejected, left for a couple of nurses who were going about their usual activities.
"Thank you Miss Roberts," she sniffed.
"Whatever. Come with me."
She followed Miss Roberts as she went through the translucent doors. She looked into one of the rooms out of sheer curiosity and nearly jumped back when a patient snarled at her. She started wondering if she had made the right decision coming here in the first place when Miss Roberts stopped in front of one of the rooms. "Raina is a very delicate patient and I will appreciate it if you don't bring up things that will trigger her conscience."
"I don't get you,"
"Since the day she was brought here, she has barely shown any sign of recovery and was strictly restricted to all sorts of visitations. I only allowed you here because your story made me pretty sad. I'll have security throw you out once you do anything fishy."
"Why do you think I'll do something fishy," Alicia resumed sobbing, "Raina has been my friend for—"
"Yeah yeah. Just Hurry up and speak to her, ten minutes, remember? I'll be at the door so make it fast."
"Thank you Miss Roberts." Alicia pulled her into a hug. The surprised woman gaped at Alicia as she opened the door. Raina was lying down on her bed when Alicia entered. She quickly sat up and turned to face the her. "Alicia?"
Alicia widened her eyes in astonishment, "No I'm Maya. Maya Fox." her lips quavered.
"Alicia! Look at you! You look so different. Did you get a nose job? Oh my God and your hair kinda looks different."
Open mouthed Alicia looked at Raina, how was she able to recognize her when she looked totally different. Even she couldn't recognize her new face, it was so absurd that Raina thought she had gotten a nose job instead. "I need to ask you some questions Raina." she said, sitting beside her on the bed.
"Ask away!" Raina squealed. "Can we play in the doll house when you are done?" she asked smiling goofily.
"Yes we can. But first I need to show you some pictures."
"What pictures? Pictures of me?"
"No pictures of a guy." Alicia took her phone out of her pocket and went through her pictures. She paused at Zach's picture. She had gotten hold of that picture by stalking his facebook page. She heaved a sigh, this was the moment of truth. She drew closer to Raina, "Remember this guy?"
Raina laughed, "Which guy?" She narrowed her eyes, "Are you sure you are Alicia?"
"I never said I was Alicia, now look on my phone Raina," Alicia held her breath, she was pretty sure her ten minutes was up.
"You are such a bore. What will you give me if I look on your phone?" Raina asked pulling her hair.
Alicia groaned, the normal Raina wasn't like this, she was down to earth and actually very understanding. It hurt her a lot to know that Raina had become like this because of her. If she hadn't gone to the party that night she would been alive and Raina would have been normal. "Please Raina look on my phone."
"Okay since you said please," Raina huffed, taking the phone from her grips. Her eyes darkened in fear and her hands stilled as she keenly stared at the picture. She threw the phone to the ground and started screaming, "Red eyes! Red eyes!" Alicia tried to hold her but she growled and started jumping about.
"What did you do?" A furious Miss Roberts asked, barging in. "You need to get out of here," She pulled Alicia off the bed and pushed her outside. Alicia didn't take note of what happened next, everything happened in a blur. Before she realized, she was back in the car crying as Philippe drove pass the coniferous woods. She now had the confirmation she needed, Zach killed her. What if it was someone else? She argued with her conscience.
Raina wouldn't have clamped up if it wasn't him, right? She was so confused but one thing she knew for sure was that she was going to kill her assailant before she was killed again