My Boyfriend Is a Psychopathi...

By sassybatmanrivera

233K 5.1K 435

Dating the Joker (especially the hot, Heath Ledger-type Joker) is a dream of many Batman fangirls (me! ME... More

My Boyfriend Is a Psychopathic Clown: Harley Quinn's Story
Chapter 1: Puddin's in Trouble
Chapter 2: A Visit To Arkham
I Accidentally Get Myself Locked Up. (Oops. Epic fail!)
Chapter 4: It Feels Like Years Ago....
Chapter 5: Everything Goes to Pieces
"Haaaaaaaaaaaaarley...!"
Highway Robbery and "The Artist"
Our Big Gig...and that Green Monster
The Best Laid-Plans....(Aka What Went Down at Wayne Manor)
Silver Thorns and Bloody Roses
Puddin's Worst Enemy
Dude...Where's My Joker?
Do the Creep (Not).
"Leaves of Three, Let Them Be"... Unless They're Saving You
I Get An Alternative (contest inside!!!!)
I Start Dating Bandage Boy
I Suddenly Learn Everything
The Point of No Return (And No Regrets)
Mr. J!
In Which Puddin' is Being a Grumpypuss :(
Heroism?...Not.
An X-tra Special Encounter
Gangster's Moll
Queenie Hartz
Psycho...Bang Bang!
Lawyers and General Lunacy.
"Off With Her Head!"
Pidgeon, or I Do My Man Wrong
Roomies
Baby, It's Cold Outside (and Inside)
Recap\ Then There Is An Imposter on the Loose!
And, of Course, I Screw Up...And During Mr. J's GREATEST Plan....
The Things Our Friends Do For Us!
Gemerally (this is not a spelling error, but a pun) Speaking....
Exes Beware: A Precautionary Tale
Guest Star
P. I
Riding off into the Sunset....

Ouch, That Hurts!

2.7K 75 6
By sassybatmanrivera

I sat by Mr. J's hospital bed all the time that I could, nursing him back to health until his shoulder healed. After all, I was responsible. I even sold my fur coats and designer purses to pay for the hospital bills. My Puddin' was worth more than some stupid clothes and handbags (even if I'd gotten very attached to them).

"Harley!" Ivy scolded me, after she'd heard what I'd done. "That scumbag isn't worth it, giving away your beautiful things! Do you still have any? I always liked that green one...." She sauntered out of Mr. J's place, my green velvet clutch embroidered with roses swinging under her arm, not knowing I'd planned on giving it to her for her birthday, but, oh, well.... She came back with some of our supervillianess friends, buying up the rest of my things I was selling. At least I knew they were in good hands now....

Three months later (it was a bad wound, and the cops questioned him before they would take him to the hospital. I really wanted to sue for that), he returned home from the hospital, promptly to have both of us hauled off to Arkham. It was a deal I'd made with the GCPD, that we'd both go willingly once he was better, and Mr. J was not  happy about it.

"You don't have any right to make big decisions around here, princess!" he hollered in my face. "

"Sorry, Mr. J - I just -"

"No! No, no no! You're not the boss! You're just a bumbling bimbo! I should have gotten rid of you long ago! Useless broad!" He actually kicked me in the shin, and we were full-on wrestling by the time the guards broke us up and dragged us off for check-in and medication. I knew that fighting my Puddin' was wrong, and cried the rest of the night for my foolishness.

The next morning, he was out in the common room - "forced socialization", something that never went well, as someone might come out of it with a fork in their jugular, or just badly bruised if the boss wasn't feeling up to much.

"Puddin'!" I squealed, launching myself into his arms...and he slapped me across the face, grabbing my wrist with his other hand.

"I don't ever want you near me again! You screwed up royally this time, kid, and I'm having no more of my genius plans being ruined by stupid, amateur, mistakes." He was walking me across the room, backing me up against the wall, and with one giant shove, I fell through glass, screaming all the way, shocked at my Puddin's unreasonable violence.

My ankle was totally  broken.

Continue Reading

You'll Also Like

9K 362 21
This story is a sequel to "Unrequited Love [Jason Todd x Reader]," so you have to read that book first in order to understand the story. You can clic...
67.7K 2.7K 45
You've gotta watch out for the quiet ones and they hardly come quieter than shy but pretty Harleen Quinzel. New to Gotham City, the fledgling psychi...
2.4K 137 41
This is my own personal version of how our lovable Dr. Harleen Quinzel fell in love with the psychopathic clown known as The Joker. This will be a da...
20.5K 448 22
When Ianthe Thatcher, a 21 year old Gotham City native reluctantly accepts a seemingly promising position at Arkham Asylum, her path takes an unexpec...