"Well, for starters," Spencer began, thoughtfully chewing on a rather soggy looking french fry as his eyes stared to some distant place behind Ezra that he didn't care enough about to turn and check to see what it was. "I think you should really stop having sex with him until you figure this whole thing out". Ezra closed his eyes, pressing his face into his hands. Never one has he been so happy that the team forgot to tell them about lunch, fore it meant being left alone with his best friend, who he desperately needed to talk to.
"I tried that the first time," Ezra grumbled, "and look how that turned out".
"Yeah," Spencer agreed, his eyes dropping to his tray and he gazed at his food with disgust on his face. "Twice you say? For forty five minutes each?" Ezra nodded, rather proud of the statistics. "And he came how many times?"
Spencer was still staining at his tray now and Ezra wanted to know what the fuck was going on with him. He had been on edge all afternoon, his eyes darting around the cafeteria until he found what he was looking for and then he had just blatantly stared, not even trying to be discreet. Then every couple of minutes, as if he had been caught, he would suddenly be burning a hole in his lunch tray with his eyes. It was making Ezra extremely nervous but when he had asked Spencer denied that anything was wrong.
"Three".
"Damn," Spencer said, sounding impressed but grimacing. "You should fuck me". Ezra rolled his eyes.
"That's the gayest thing you've ever said".
"What is?" Only Ezra turned at the voice, but he saw Spencer's face change to one of sheer panic for a moment.
Liam Olsen stood at the end of the table, holding a textbook against his chest and looking between the two boys. He was really an unimportant boy in the school. Didn't play sports, wasn't particularly good at anything besides math, but for some reason he happened to be Spencer's second best friend, and was commonly the reason he was ditching Ezra. "Spencer's becoming gay for me," Ezra said simply, and both of the boy's faces changed.
"Liam," Spencer said on an exhale and he was looking up at the boy with an apologetic expression that Ezra couldn't quite understand.
The other boy ignored him, looking at Ezra. "Hi Ezra," he said, and then sent one last look at Spencer and walked away.
"What the fuck was that about?" Ezra asked, wondering why the boy even came over in the first place and Spence grimaced.
"Why'd you have to say that man?" Spencer demanded, but he looked more defeated than upset. "Now he's going to be even more angry with me".
"Why would he be angry about that?"
Spencer was quiet for a very long time. "Um... Liam's totally homophobic. If he thinks I'm gay he won't be friends with me anymore".
Ezra was surprised by this. "Isn't he gay though? Didn't he have sex with some senior boy when we were freshman?" Ezra clearly remembered this but Spencer was glaring at him.
"We don't talk about that". He stood then, pushing his lunch tray over to Ezra. "Take care of that, would you? I need to go set some things right".
"I don't think-" but he was already gone, walking across the cafeteria after Liam, and Ezra dropped his head again, his problems all completely unsolved.
Spence had told him to just not have sex with Adrian, but that had proven to be difficult. There was just something about the boy that made Ezra constantly want to touch him. Even today, when he saw him in language arts that morning, wearing dark green jeans and a pink shirt (he looked a lot like a watermelon but an incredibly cute one that Ezra wanted to fuck for hours on end) all he could concentrate on was touching him and running his fingers over every inch of smooth exposed skin.
Ezra just recently realized that he had always wanted to touch the boy, even when he 'hated' him. The difference was that then, he just wanted to strangle the boy, not grope him.
But disputes all of these confused feelings and the absolute need to touch him, Ezra didn't know if he wanted to be in a real relationship. With a boy. With Adrian. It was just such a different situation than he had experienced before.
Ezra had never really considered his sexuality before. He exclusively had sex with women, but he'd be lying if he said that he had never caught himself looking at some of his teammates when they were shirtless. But this wasn't really a big deal, and he had never questioned that he was anything but straight.
But god, that boy, that small boy with that smile and that body did things to Ezra that he had never felt before and didn't want to forget.
He had to talk to him about all of this. It wouldn't be fair to him if he kept this to himself. Even though it was really really tempting, Ezra refused to use the smaller for sex. That's not the kind of person he wanted to be.
As usual during lunch, he found Adrian in a practice room, though this time he's with a boy with dark hair whose sitting at the piano pressing down keys rapidly.
Adrian looked up as Ezra placed a hand on the door knob, and a sharp sound came out of his instrument and his cheeks blushed red. The boy at the piano looked rather annoyed by this, and as Ezra pushed the door open he heard "Jesus fuck, Adri".
There was a knot in Ezra's stomach that formed at the nickname, and he studied the boy at the piano, jealous of the fact that he seemed close to Adrian.
"Ezra?"
"Can I talk to you?" He asked and Adrian raised his eyebrows, "alone?" He eyed the other boy in the room, who had turned on the bench to look at him blankly. The other scowled at him and Ezra raised his eyebrows.
"I wasn't aware you were a dick," the kid said, and Ezra blinked in surprise.
"What do you-"
"Osmond, not now," Adrian said simply and the boy just looked at him for a second before turning back to the piano. "Yeah we can talk". Ezra followed him into the next practice room. "Yes?" Adrian was looking at him with an unsure expression, and Ezra swallowed, opening his mouth to speak."I get it," Adrian interrupted. "You're straight and you don't want to have sex and-"
"No," Ezra said quickly and Adrian cut off. "I still want to have sex with you. All the time". He got distracted by Adrian's lips but no. No. "I just don't know how to go about this. I'm confused and I just want to figure it out and it wouldn't be fair to you if we kept..."
"Having really amazing sex?" Adrian suggested, his fingers absently moving over the keys of his silver Saxophone.
"Yeah like, really really amazing," Ezra said, lazily smiling at Adrian who just shook his head, fighting off his own grin. "If I had know that gay sex would feel that good-"
"It rarely feels that good," Adrian said. "I mean, it always feels really good, but I've never felt that before". Ezra took this as a compliment and showed his white teeth. Adrian sighed. "But I understand completely. I actually feel like I should thank you for considering me".
"Don't thank me for anything," Ezra said, actually feeling guilty for doing this again. "Can we study after school? I want to start on some of those projects". Adrian nodded his head, his mouth opening to respond, but Ezra suddenly remembered something. "Oh, could we do it at your house?" Adrian's mouth snapped shut quickly. Ezra's parents would be home that afternoon, and he didn't want today to be the day that Adrian met his parents.
"Um, my parents will be home," he said softly, and Ezra nodded, understanding this.
"I figured. I've already met them, and then we don't need to worry about having sex". Adrian blushed scarlet.
"I wasn't worried about it," He said softly. "Are we really that far gone that we can't control it?"
"I don't know about you," Ezra said, "but if that kid wasn't in here I'd be fucking you right now". He watched as Adrian swallowed and his cheeks blushed.
"Do you do that on purpose?" Adrian asked in a very small voice and Ezra raised his eyebrows in question. "Say things like that to embarrass me?"
"You're embarrassed?" Ezra asked, raising his eyebrows and Adrian sighed, shaking his head.
"Yeah. You can come over. I'm sure my parents will love that," He said, looking upset, but before Ezra could ask what that was about, he looked away. "I should go back to practice. Oz is a little bitch so he's probably mad. I'll be out by the field by the time you finish practice". Adrian left the room then, and a second later Ezra heard the sound of a door closing and the piano starting up.
He sighed. Adrian seemed fine with the whole thing, but that for some reason made it more difficult for Ezra. If he had been upset and told him to fuck off, it would have been a much easier decision to make.
***
Adrian was laughing at him, and Ezra felt incredibly stupid. "I'm sorry," the smaller boy said, but he continued to giggle and slapped a hand over his mouth, his brown eyes wide and alive. "I've just never heard anyone interpret that poem that way before".
Ezra had just finished telling Adrian what he thought a famous poem ment, and it included words such as hoe, fuck, and slut shaming, and the other had absolutely lost it. This had happened approximately ten minutes ago, and Adrian had yet to stop laughing. "Was it really that funny?"
"I-" Adrian took a very deep breath to calm himself, "I'm good now. I'm good now". He still smiled. "Could you please explain to me why you think she cheated on her husband?"
Ezra looked down at the page. "I lust after him as if he was my own. As if he were my own implies that he's not her husband".
"But how do you know she's married?"
"Well," Ezra began, squinting at the page and trying to read between the lines, "the entire thing is about her feeling guilty and lusting after some guy, so I think it's safe to assume that she's guilty because she wants him. But why would she feel guilty about that if she didn't have someone else?" Adrian nodded as if he saw his point. "I don't know. What do you think?"
"Well, I've always imagined that the man she wants is the boyfriend or husband of someone she cares about, and she feels guilty because she seduced him once and wants to do it again". Adrian wasn't looking at the page as he spoke, but out of his bedroom window, and Ezra hummed. "You should start writing your paragraph about it. Please try not to use the word jizz as you did when explaining it to me. I don't think Mr. Smith would appreciate it".
"Right," Ezra said, writing the words face cream on the top of the paper, and Adrian looked down at it and rolled his eyes.
"Don't call it that either. How about you just skip over the whole cum thing and just assume the poet was literally talking about milk". Ezra crossed a line through the words at the top of the paper and then began writing his summary. Adrian watched him for a second longer before standing from the bed and going over to his window, opening it and leaning out of it.
"What are you doing?"
"I thought I saw- umph". A somewhat familiar blond girl launched herself through the window, knocking Adrian backwards and Ezra didn't really know what to do. "What the fuck, Helen?" he asked from the floor, glaring up at the girl who had somehow landed on her feet. She didn't' bother to offer him and hand to help him up, stepping over him when her eyes landed on Ezra.
"We've been over this so many times, Adri. You open the window, and then you move". Her eyes were roaming over Ezra's body, which was stretched out across the bed and he raised his eyebrows at her.
"Hi?" he offered, and she scowled.
"This would stop happening if you texted me first," Adrian grumbled, sitting up on the ground and pressing a small hand against the top of his head and Ezra looked at him with utter adoration
"I didn't mean to interrupt," she said, and Ezra looked back to her. "Were you fucking?"
Ezra's mouth dropped in surprise and his eyes widened. He pushed himself up into a seated position and looked at Adrian. They spoke at the same time.
Ezra: "You told her?"
Adrian: "No, Helen".
The room was utterly silent, and this time it was Adrian and Helen who spoke in unison.
Helen: "What?!"
Adrian: "No, Ezra".
Adrian pressed his face into his hands helplessly, and his best friend glared at him. Ezra didn't really know what to do about this, so he merely looked between the two of them, surprisingly not upset that this random girl knew his secret.
"You go and fuck, possibly the sexiest human on earth," Ezra smiled, "and you don't bother to tell me about it!" she yelled, and Adrian kicked her shin from where he was on the floor.
"My parents are home, ass hole". He looked extremely nervous as he glanced at the door and Ezra was curious as to why.
"How could you not tell me?" Helen sounded hurt and Ezra felt rather uncomfortable for witnessing this conversation without being a part of it, so he spoke.
"I asked him not to tell anyone". They both looked at him, and he could literally see as Helen's anger shifted from one of them to the other.
"What the fuck would you do that?" She clearly liked to swear, and Ezra respected this.
"Because I don't know what I want". It was a simple answer, but it seemed to annoy her further.
"You just fuck him with no intention of actually being with him?" she snapped, and Ezra ducked his head in shame. "You're just as bad as the last one".
"The last one?" Ezra asked, looking at Adrian who was glaring at his best friend.
Helen ignored Ezra. "Adri, I'm sick of you letting guys use you as their fuck toy. David and now this idiot?" Ezra cringed.
"Helen, shut up or go home". It was a simple statement, but it seemed to affect the both of them, because they made eye contact for a very long time, neither of them backing down or even daring to blink.
"I sure as fuck hope you know what you're doing Adri," she said, her voice a bit softer but not much. She then crossed the room again, stepping over the small boy and slipping out of the window. Adrian groaned loudly and dropped down against his floor.
"I'm sorry," Ezra said softly, taking full blame for the events that had just occurred. Adrian stood slowly, looking at him blankly. "Do you want me to go?" The boys shoulders visibly relaxed as he sighed.
"I don't". He dropped down onto the bed next to Ezra's seated form, and without thinking, Ezra moved closer, lifting Adrian's head and setting it onto his lap. The other seemed too distracted to notice this, but he did blink up at him at Ezra as the barrette was pulled from his hair and the seniors raked his hand through the soft locks. "Make me feel better".Ezra thought Adrian was asking him to fuck him again, which he would gladly do, but the boy surprised him by demanding something different. "Tell me all of the names for cum that you have".
Ezra laughed loudly, his fingers still moving through Adrian's hair. "Alright then".
He started with Albino lipstick and went from there.