It had been a little over a week since we had been searching for Saeran. Tomorrow was the day we were going to fin him, we were sure of this. I knew what was going to happen, but Saeyoung didn't. He couldn't help but voice his worries as he held me in bed.
"I know you're really scared," he started, I wasn't really. I was only scared of losing him. "I'm sorry I promise everything will be over by tomorrow." He pulled me in closer. "I honestly still can't believe it. That I'm chasing after my brother. With out you, I would never have known the pain that my brother went through. I hated god for making me this way. But
... I was able to meet you because of all the troubles I've gone through.
For the first time in my life... I want to do things with another person. And once I started thinking about it I couldn't stop. There are so many things I want to do with you. From small things, to grand plans, they're all inside my head. But I don't want to tell you right now," I could feel all the emotion in his voice, " I'm afraid you'll run off if I tell you... I'm afraide something bad will happen again." I hugged him tighter, I wanted to reasure him, but I knew he had more to say."If I say it, and something happens to me... It will be so sad of they don't come true. So for now, the dreams I have about our life will stay inside me.
Tonight might be our last night. Or... we might be able to spend the rest of our lives together. I don't know the results... bit if tonight is our last... I just want to do one thing. Can I... be a bit selfish to you? I want to leave on you evidence... that I existed. I want to hold you tight and hold you all night so that you remember me forever. Will you let me?"
"Saeyoung," I pulled away from him, so I could look him in the eyes. Our nodes were basically touching, so that I could actually see his eyes for what they were, not just blur. "I love you with all my heart. I would never forget you no matter what, even so I never plan on leaving your side. If your smiling I'll be smiling with you. I'm yours and yours alone. So yes, do what you want." He pulled me into a fevered kiss. We stayed up late that night, but eventually we both fell asleep.
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"Wake up!" a voice screamed into my room. The light from the hall streamed into the room, and piercing my eyes. I looked around to find the mess that was my room, and the emptyness of it. Saeyoung wasn't by my side. I felt so alone. I couldn't help but let the tears fall from my eyes. My happiness was right there, yet I was taken away.
"Come on," my mother whined, "You're not staying home from school." I didn't care, she would leave in ten minuets, and dad would be passed out from the night before, and wouldn't care of I missed school. I wasn't hungry, but I went to the kitchen to appear like I was getting ready for school.
When I heard the garage door fully close, I went up to the bathroom. The tears hadn't stopped flowing, making my vision even worse. I knee what I was looking for was. I was on so much pain, I needed to get my kind off it. The shiny metal was cold and still stained with blood. I pressed it against my skin, but his voice entered my mind. I will always be here for you.
I dropped the knife into the sink and curled up onto the ground and cried. "Why dose everything bad happen to me," I cried.
"Shut up!" my dad yelled from his room. I didnt care about him, he didn't care about me, so why should I care about him. The only people o felt like truly cared for me, the RFA, was taken away from me. It felt like eternity was spent on crying. Somehow I ended up back in my bed.
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"Kira," his worried voice startled me awake. I could feel the tears on my face, and the worry in his eyes.I laughed, with a smile on my face. I reached over and pulled him into a hug, burying my face in the crook of his neck.
"It was just a bad dream," I reassured both of us. It didnt work for me. I knee my time with him was limited, and I need the cherish it while I could. I couldn't go back to sleep, instead I stayed up and watched him sleep. Tears continued to drip from my eyes. "If it was up to me, you would never need to experience any more pain," I started talking to him, when I knee for sure he was sleeping. "I don't even want to part from you, but I know the day will come when we do. Until then I want to see you and everyone else smile. I want to give back the happiness you guys gave me." I pushed the red hair out of his face, getting a better look at his slumbering face. He looked so calm, I knee he was going to be so stressed in the time to come. I memorized that face, never wanting to forget it. "You're my savior Saeyoung."