When I was shoved into the train,I was close to a window, the best part of the train.
My mother was nowhere to be found, I can't believe this is happening to me! Why me!
"Mother! Mother! Its me! Maria!" ... nothing, my lungs felt on fire, the heat, the closeness, I've never been away from my mother for long.
The SS put two buckets in the train car, one for the lavatory and the other for water. The most time I spent in that train, I was standing. No one sat we were too close to even squat. You could imagine how hard it was to use the lavatory, which meant, you had to use the lavatory on yourself. The stench, was unbearable. Today is the worst day of my life and these days were only going to get worse.
"Why me?" I asked out loud, the tears running down my face showed these strangers my weakness. I didn't care at the moment who was listening.
"Why is it anyone." my head snapped to the side, a young girl was who replied.
"We didn't do anything wrong." She replied again.
"Who knows maybe the Americans will come and liberate us." I say smiling at the memory of my father, he wanted nothing more, then to go to America.
She smiles warmly at me. "This is true. The Americans are free." Her accent was something I have never heard, it sounded like when my father used to act like vampire Dracula from a film they had once seen. In 1937.
"Your accent," I reply to her wolfish smile, "are you a vampire? Like Dracula?" I ask stupidly out of the blue. She laughs for once a real laugh of solace.
"No my friend, I am from Transylvania, I'm a gypsy." I nod and realize that Hitler was effecting everybody. Not just me and the Jews.
"A gypsy? Going to a work camp?" I am shocked and horrified.
"Hitler wants everyone who's different out of Germany, the only way we are to leave is through work camp." She tells me further.
It turned nighttime and I begin to feel my throat gasp with thirst. My stomach filled with hunger, and my legs become weak. Most people not strong enough, die, or become a thin nothing that had no name, no family.
The gypsy that I had become friends with had told me her name, it was Elizabeth, she had shocking green eyes, as green as the grass growing in Poland. Her hair was a raven black, beautiful curls reached the tip of her collarbone, her clothes were tattered. She was no taller then me, maybe my age, her face was slender and her body was the same. I wouldn't be surprised if the SS did not feed her as well.
"Will someone get me the water bucket?" I ask into the darkness as I feel eyes on myself.
"It has no more water." A woman in the back called with a sharp voice. No more water? Did they only put a small amount in? The train was freezing, and I suddenly thought of my father, how he used to get icicles, small ones, and told me that they would melt in the heat. My father was always so smart. He taught me many things.
"I can make some." I call out, it's not that hard. My father taught me when I was little, icicles melt with heat, my idea could work and I would get water for everyone. It was below freezing but I could still do it.
"Bring me the bucket!" I call and feel a little bit of space so that I may make water.
I reach to the window not being able to grab one of the icicles, dang it, I feel as I should be lifted but no one would have the strength. I feel the tip of an icicle and softly pull, feeling my hand shoot with pain, I had been stabbed in the hand, the blood would freeze instantly so why even bother to try to wrap it or try to help myself. All I feel is a numb sensation as I bleed, the blood was a river that never stopped flowing.
"Do you need help?" I hear Elizabeth call out.
"Yes if someone would be kind enough to grab icicles and pass them to me!" I yell over the horrific train whistle. This is when people were so desperate for water they would bring me snow from they're clothes for water, which helped all of us.
"Now we have to put them in the bucket and breath hot air." The people stayed silent, clearly if we breathed on it enough it'll get warm. They looked at me with surprise. "My father taught me." I say softly. "Move it to the middle of the train and everybody If you're able breath on it! " I yell and pass it forward.
My cut had grown to where it would just feel frozen, and the blood froze over. The worst part was I didn't know what would happen if it became infected. It hurt so much, but I couldn't tend it, even if I wanted to. In an hour or so we had been able to take icicles and make water for about everyone in the car. But I didn't get any of it. The thirst made me want to make more, but there were no more icicles. The cut on my hand has defrosted and feels like someone was cutting my hand off. I hope they have soap in Auschwitz, and bandages.
"Maria, I managed to save some water in my hand so you may have a drink." Elizabeth calls over a body. "You have saved these people from thirst!"
I felt proud, but my family was not around to see me do this. "Thank you but you keep it!"
I yell back seeing her look at the water with hungry eyes, she needs it more than me. I argue with myself until I feel right to go on with the day.
The train ride lasted about five days, five long days. I slept standing up, even the dead, were still standing, slouching maybe. The sick pale blue of their skin, made me think of the sky, there was nothing good about this train other then that I made a friend. Most people have died in this train car, my dear friend Elizabeth that I have gotten to know. Has become sick, and weak, this is my fault, the train is about to stop.
What do I do? If the SS see her she will be gassed I'll never see her again. I must help her.
The train opened when it become night time, the smell of rotting meat and smoke filled the air, the stench and odor, would make you gag. You can imagine what type of animal was being burned here. I begged Elizabeth to try to jump off the train car.
"raus jetzt Jude!" the Nazi commanded to me. I didn't know what he was saying. I only spoke polish!
He grabbed me fiercely by the hair and yanked me off the train and pushed me onto the gravel where the selection was being made. my hand was still cut now my body ached. I feel as if i'm worthless, this worthlessness is not able to describe. I need to find Elizabeth, quickly looked at the train, empty... no.
When I push myself to my feet all my body tells me is that I think my leg is probably hurt worse than I thought. The train was empty, no, soon it started to take off and left all of us at the selection. I rush my way to the tracks and see millions of people. Just people, they're not better or worse than me they're just people. Some carrying children, some that need to be carried or needed help walking. All in all through the moonlight it looked like they had no hope that they wouldn't care if they lived or died. It has been twenty minutes here and already I have thought once about dying I better get used to it. because seeing the people that already live here it looks as if they have been ripped of all hope and of all spirit.
While looking for Elizabeth I had met mothers, daughters and other people looking for friends family and more relatives. I felt so bad but I said nothing.
"Line up for selection!" I heard a SS commandant yell and walk my way. "Move it jew!" such hatred in his voice showed how Hitler brainwashed him. with this command I moved fast to the line the people were making behind the tables which decided whether you'd live or die.
"Make the line straighter!" I hear shouting, in polish?
I look down the line to see who was commanding us to do anything, a young man, his hair was almost to his forehead and he was so skinny he could fall through the cracks of the concrete, he looked at each of us then stopped at me.
"How old are you?" his voice was dark and rusty, he hasn't had water in the past day or two you can tell. "Well?" he asks as I drop out of my gaze.
"Fifteen" I answer truthfully.
"Tell them you're eighteen, and pinch your cheeks you're a little pale." with that he walked off. I didn't even know his name.
"Pinch my cheeks?" I murmur and look around seeing other people do it, after I saw their cheeks get rosy again, they made it look as if they're healthy again. I saw the commandant fall for it, he would believe this. So I raise my hands up to my face and pinch as hard as I can. The wound on my right hand tying to heal is met with more blood and a smell that I cant explain. I knew it would get infected. eventually It would go to gangrene and kill me. It's better infection than the gas.
Soon I am next in line, I quickly stash my hand behind my back and walk forward. "wie ist dein name?" he asks me.
"Excuse me?" I ask back in polish. "name? you really need to learn German dumm jew." he snaps at me. I still have no idea what this man is saying to me, "name?"
"Maria Greene age 18 sir." I tell him and look around for the man who told me to say this. Would I get in trouble, was this a trick? "Alright, step to the right." at this I nod and walk to the line where we had to strip our clothing and walk to the barrack right in front of us. At the entrance I pulled off my dress, slowly, looking around, like other people I was confused as to why I had to do this.
This place we were smothered with a green fluid that smelled of poison, as soon as we walked in. I let my hand touch it some, this stinging sensation caused me to yelp in pain, it seemed like it was burning the germs but at the same time ripping my hand off. After this a German lady grabbed me and sat me down while a man grabbed my left arm. The poison like fluid dripped down, reaching my privates, then my legs.
This lady with blonde hair and brown eyes, grabbed my arm with a sturdy grip and sat me down in front of her, there were many woman who were sat down like me, she started cutting my hair off! with shears, sheep shears. Her face was that of a German but I cannot make out how her hair is styled. I can't believe this, my hair, what's next? At the moment I thought that there was a hand on my forearm, and a stinging above it, he was writing on me, with a needle. when they were both done torturing me, the woman points to the right and yells to me. "Hol dir eine uniform. go grab some clothes" this is it, i'm a prisoner, well I had been a prisoner for a year. It was just official now. I am now no one but 100989.