Can You Hear Me Now
"I never want to see another police car in front of this house do you understand me?"
"Yes sir." I look at the floor as my dad has just spoken to the cops and they've just driven away.
"Mr. Adams, if this was my choice the police wouldn't be involved, it was my fault in the first place." Brett tries to explain.
"Very noble of you Brett, but you weren't driving the car, my daughter was." Dad replies and then enters the house angrily.
"I am so sorry, I didn't mean t--"
"It can be fixed." He shrugs, but I can tell he's annoyed about it. He loves his car.
"Don't be like that, babe, I did ask you to drive me, and you said no." I remind him.
"I said it was fine didn't I?" He shouts at me and I recoil slightly at his reaction.
"This isn't about the car is it?" I catch on to his problem. It's the fact that I'm not ready and he is.
"Look, maybe right now we should take a break or something." He suggests.
"Is, is that what you want?" I choke slightly.
"Not forever." He shakes his head but I just walk inside slamming the door behind me, and then I head straight back out again through the back door to meet with the girls.
"How bad did your mom and dad bust you over wrecking Brett's car?" Em asks when I meet with them.
"Okay, I did not wreck it, I damaged it. And, actually, everyone's being really mature about it." I lie through my teeth.
"Oh." Em nods as we reach the bench, where the sun is shining and the trees are a bright green with a long stretch of field grass reaching to the road.
"There's no 'oh' about it we're just being grown-ups, that's all."
"Okay, so the town is gonna put in a new bench, and we'll plant the flowerbeds, and there's gonna be a pathway of art tiles." Aria points at the area around us.
"Art tiles?" Spencer asks.
"Messages, pictures, memories of Alison." I explain.
"Oh, like little headstones." Hanna jokes.
"Hanna!"
"What?" She asks.
"We should each do a tile." Emily suggests.
"I've had Alison's bracelet since the day we found it in the woods, and I don't want the responsibility anymore." Hanna changes the subject again, pulling the bracelet out of her bag.
"I don't want it." Aria turns it down.
"Seriously, somebody take this." Hanna whines.
"Look at us, a bunch of babies." I take it out of her hand and put it into my bag to take home.
"There's nothing that 'A' can say or do to get us into trouble without making trouble for herself." Spencer agrees with me, trying to help calm everyone else down even though we're freaking out inside too.
"Are you sure it's a her?" Hanna asks.
"Him, her, doesn't make any difference." Spence pulls out her laptop and opens it on her lap.
"What are you doing?" I sit down next to her.
"I'm gonna block all messages from people that I don't know! IM's, texts, e-mails, everything. Screw A. There. Who's next?" She looks up at us and Emily takes the laptop next.
"I spy with my little eye something that begins with F." I point towards Mr. Fitz riding on his bike past us.
"Hey, Mr. Fitz." Hanna waves and he waves back.
"Looking good, Mr. Fitz." Spencer calls after.
"My turn." Aria takes the laptop next.
"There are teachers that you don't want to see on a bike, and there are teachers that you do want to see on a bike." Spencer continues to look at him.
"I would not want to see Mr. Gilardi on a bike." I laugh.
"I don't want to think of Mr. Gilardi in motion of any kind." Em laughs with me.
"Ah. Mr. Fitz." Hanna thinks about him still even though he's gone.
"Hanna." Aria looks up at her, "your turn."
"You talk to Ben?" Spence asks Emily about her broken relationship.
"Nothing to talk about." She shakes her head.
"So you're really done?" Aria asks her.
"It's okay. I'm fine." Emily assures us.
"Okay, if you say so." Aria nods supportively.
"Your turn." Hanna shoves the laptop to me and I enter the details I need to put in. "I wish we had a drum roll for this."
"All right, here it goes." I click the 'submit' button, "We are officially A-proofed."
"Listen. All those little messages zipping through the air all around us." Spencer relaxes.
"Yep, and none of them from A."
"This feels like a good thing." Emily smiles.
"Of course it's a good thing. Out of mind, out of sight." Hanna leans back against the bench and then a piece of paper comes flying towards us.
Aria picks it up and it's one of the missing posters for Ali, apart from there's red writing on it.
Our moment of piece is gone when we realise the poster was sent by 'A' and we start looking around for clues as to who it could be but all there is, is town members walking the streets like they usually do.
Aria screws up the sheet in her hands and we get up still looking over our shoulders to leave the area.
*
"Spence, why didn't your folks take you to New York with your sister? I mean, you deserve some retail therapy too." Hanna asks in the cafeteria at school the next day.
"Not as much as Melissa." Spencer sighs.
She managed to cause her sister Melissa and her fiancé to split up and it's all being blamed on her.
"Ooh, hot scarf, Em." Spence says as she walks over to us a cup of coffee in her hand.
"Thanks."
"Is it new?"
"No." She shakes her head.
Hanna's phone starts to ring and she gets it out to look at the caller ID.
"Go ahead, answer it." I gesture for her to continue when she stares at the screen blankly.
"We know who it can't be from." Aria agrees with me.
"Hanna." I smile at her as she stands doing nothing.
"It's my dad!" Her smile becomes bright and she hits the answer button, walking away to speak in private. "Hey, dad."
"Has she even, like, talked to her dad since he walked out on them?" Emily asks.
"I don't know. Hanna and her father, it's one of those don't ask, don't tell situations." I reply.
"We shouldn't stare at her." Aria shakes her head, "Come on." We start to walk in the other direction. "My brother's post just showed up on my loop." Aria looks down at her phone.
"You added him as a favorite?" Spencer asks with a smile.
"Yeah, moment of weakness." She replies.
"Sorry." Toby apologises as we bump into each other.
"My fault." I shake my head and continue walking.
"I wonder if we just bumped into 'A'." Aria mentions.
"It doesn't matter. We're done with 'A', right?" Spencer reminds us.
"Right. Yeah. But I'm still staying out of Toby's way." Aria says.
"Yeah, and Jenna's." Spencer agrees.
"I guess that's the safest thing to do." I shrug.
"Hey, what did your dad say?" I ask as she meets us in the hall.
"He has to be in New England for a couple of weeks, but he's making a special trip out to see me." She smiles brightly, like I haven't seen her do in a long time.
"That's that's great, Hanna." Aria says unconvinced.
"What?" Han frowns confused as to why we aren't jumping for joy with her.
"It's just do you think he's out here because of the thing with the police that you won't talk about, you know, the day Ali's body was found?" I ask, sensitively, trying not to piss her off.
"No, he's not. Look, I asked, absolutely not." She tells our unconvinced faces. "And besides, even if he was, at least he's still coming out to see me."
"Spencer!" The Russian Lit teachers voice booms.
"Mr. Sheldrake." Spencer smiles at him.
"I was gonna tell you in class, but here you are. Remarkable job on the Russian history essay." He smiles fondly at her.
"Oh, thanks." Her smile falters slightly.
"Very lucid presentation." He nods.
"It's not really a new idea." Spencer tries to be modest.
"I've submitted it for the Golden Orchid." Mr. Sheldrake tells her, excitedly.
"You what?!"
"There's an honorarium. But you know the real upside to winning an essay competition like that is how it looks on your applications." He explains.
"Wait, can we--"
"We'll discuss the details after class." He waves her off and then disappears into a classroom.
"What's a golden orchid?" Hanna asks.
"It's a national competition for historical writing." I tell them, "more academic bling for Spencer."
The bell rings and we separate to go to our own classes.
I have chemistry first so I head to the lab and when I get there no one else is in yet apart from Toby.
"Hi." He greets me standing at the back, awkwardly.
"Hi." I reply a little shocked, "are you gonna be in this lab?"
"Starting today." He confirms, holding up his sheet of paper.
"Cool."
"You were wearing a necklace with your name on it this morning." He infers.
"Uh, I still am?" I put my hand to my neck and feel the empty space. "Oh no." My eyes widen, "it must have fallen off, or the clasp broke."
"It'll turn up don't worry." He says, "it looked good on you."
He looks so creepy when he says that.
How did he notice something so tiny on my neck anyway?
The class starts to fill and Toby hands his sheet of paper to the teacher assigned to the class. The teacher says something to him and then points in my general direction.
Oh, please, no.
Not here.
Oh, please, oh, please, oh, please.
"So, I guess we're lab partners." He sits down next to me. "You okay with that?"
"Sure." I shrug and open my chemistry book to the page I need. I immediately slam it shut again when I see what's hidden inside.
A picture of that night and a note.
People stare at me from the noise the heavy textbook made when it slammed.
The picture doesn't show the face of the person it was, it shows his bare back and that's it.
My mind flashes back to when it happened.
"Stop it, let go of me." I whined, barely strong enough to stand up on my own two feet.
I'd had a lot to drink and my mind was not in a good place to make any rash decisions or move very far.
The party had been in full swing and I was enjoying myself, dancing in the crowd when someone grabbed my arm and pulled me away and up the stairs.
Whoever it was, was starting to pull our clothes off and was leaving sloppy kisses down my neck and across my chest.
I didn't want this.
"Let me go." I mumbled, "no, stop." I was laying on the bed and I blacked out, losing consciousness, although not for long. I woke up in the middle and I could feel it.
The person was strong and was so heavy that my weak arms couldn't pull him off.
Someone came in.
They tried to rip the guy off me but this made him angry.
"Don't you dare!" Someone shouted. "That's enough, get off of her."
"Get out! Leave us alone." His weight had lifted off me and thrown the person trying to protect me out of the room. I heard a thud so he must have pushed him pretty hard.
I don't remember much else.
I remember when he finished he left the room and presumably rejoined the party like nothing had ever happened.
Ali came running in after seeing whoever it was leave. "What the hell?" She looked down at me. "Wake up, T, wake up." She was shaking me and I could feel her but I couldn't move, my sight was blurred.
The next day I had made her swear not to tell a living soul. "Please Ali." I had begged manically.
"I really think you should tell someone, Tori." She told me but I was embarrassed and ashamed.
"Ali, please, promise me?"
"I promise." She had tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and pulled me into a hug, "I'm here for you."
In that moment she was so sweet and loving and I couldn't think of anyone I wanted to have by my side more than her right then.
End of flashback.
I can't concentrate for the rest of the day.
I keep wondering who it was.
I want to know, I deserve to know.
But is that really what I want? To know who raped me while I was practically unconscious?
I don't even know what I want.
"Woah," I bump into Wes in the corridor because I wasn't looking where I was going, "are you alright?"
"I'm fine." I mumble, "I'll see you later." Then I walk to my car to drive home.
"Honey, you're going to love dinner tonight, it's your favorite, mushroom and chicken tagliatelle." Mom calls from the kitchen.
"Mm, yum, can't wait." I exclaim, pretending like everything is okay.
"Want to help make it?" She smiles fondly at me and I nod, moving over to the counter to start chopping onions, mushrooms and then the chicken while my mom makes her homemade creamy sauce.
"How was work?" I ask while I chop.
"Busy." She sighs. "Your dad and I have decided that after school and some weekends it would be a good idea for you to come and work with me at the hospital. A bit like a resident, small pay."
Mom works as the head psychiatrist at the hospital nearest us, working with all sorts of people. She focuses her time into trauma patients that have gone through a terrible accident at the E.D. but she also goes to Radley Sanitarium as a consultant sometimes.
Dad works with the Hastings as a defence lawyer, so between the two of them we get a very decent salary enter the household.
"Okay." I nod, "I can use the money to pay off Brett's car."
"Good idea."
"It smells lush!" Wes' voice rings from the front of the house as he comes home from practice. "It's just us three tonight, dad text and said he had to stay late." He comes in a kisses moms cheek before biting into an apple and leaning against the kitchen counter.
"Oh, okay." Mom shrugs and looks down into the pan where she's stirring sauce together.
I dish the pasta into bowls and help carry it to the table before we sit down and begin to eat.
*
"It was great, incredible, really." Hanna looks really happy the next day before class.
"Where'd your dad take you?" Emily asks.
"Jolly Roger's."
We all let out a laugh, "What, the lame amusement park?"
"Okay, it is not lame." She laughs with us, "we didn't go on the tilt-a-whirl, we walked around and talked. And I told him about what's going on." We look at her slightly concerned, "some of what was going on, and he listened. He wants to take me to a real dinner tonight. He said he has something to tell me. I don't know, I think he wants to spend more time with me.
I mean, maybe summers in Maryland."
"Seriously?" Emily asks.
"Would you go?" I frown.
"Well, I wouldn't move away, not forever. I don't want to leave my mom alone, but I would like to see my dad more." She tells us.
"Wow." Spencer gives her a warm smile.
"Good for you." I nudge her supportively before we sit down because the bell rings.
Mr. Fitz comes in and lays his satchel on the desk before coming round the front and beginning the lesson immediately.
"I'm wondering, is anybody else bothered by Atticus' hypocrisy at the end of the novel? No? Well he's Mr. Due-Process when it comes to Tom Robinson, then as soon as Bob Ewell gets stabbed, he's willing to buy into the sheriff's cover-up."
"He was protecting Boo Radley." I counter his point.
"Protecting him? From what, the justice system? Atticus is an officer of the court, and he's conspiring to cover up a crime. And he's willing to let his own son take the fall for something that Boo Radley did?"
"It was a trade." Aria points out.
"What was a trade?"
"Mr. Ewell would have killed those kids. Boo saved them and Atticus was still feeling guilty over Tom Robinson, so he offered Jem to take Boo's place, almost like a sacrifice."
"Oh. Very noble. Too bad Jem was unconscious. You think he might have had a different opinion?" Mr. Fitz asks for development in the point.
"No, Jem would have said yes."
"You're sure about that?"
"He was brought up right."
We all look around awkwardly at their heated discussion point.
Something is up with those two.
A boy on the back row clears his throat loudly, "I'm sorry, Mr. Sperling, do you have something to add to the discussion, aside from phlegm?" Mr. Fitz asks a little rudely.
"Just, well, his dad was a lawyer. He could get the kid off. Um, being brought up right had nothing to do with it." He explains his point.
"Really? The whole book is about what shapes us into adults, or haven't you been paying attention?" Mr. Fitz calls him out.
"I'm just saying that she--"
"You're just saying that Aria made an attempt to understand this book and you haven't."
"No, I wasn't saying that, Mr. Fitz."
"Sorry. What are you trying to say?" Fitz frowns not understanding the kids point while the rest of the class sit looking between the two like we're watching a tennis match.
"Well, it'd probably be easier for Atticus to get the kid off than to get Boo off, that's all." The boy finishes.
After class I go to get my things from my locker and behind me Brett, Ben and Harvey (another irrelevant boy in this town) start to laugh as Toby puts his locker code in.
He opens it and a huge pile of cream falls in a lump to the floor from inside his locker.
He bends down and picks up one of his books that is completely smothered in the cream, "real mature Brett." I call down the corridor and he stops to look at me for a moment before disappearing round the corner with his mates.
Thank the lord that it's the end of the day.
I shut my locker and head out to my car so that I can drive home for another boring evening by myself.
I miss Brett, I'm not going to lie.
I pull my Chem book out of my bag and open it again, looking at the note and the picture before deciding that I can't look or think about it for another second so I go out the front of my house.
I walk straight to the wheelie bin and rip both of them up before shoving it under a bag of rubbish already in the bin.
"You okay?" Toby's voice interrupts my thoughts.
"Uh, yeah," I nod, "yeah, I'm fine." I start to walk back to my front door but his voice makes me turn back again.
"I know that you're not crazy about having me for a lab partner." He says.
"No, it's okay I'm cool with that." I try to convince him, I can't trust him but I still don't want to be rude when he seems to be making an effort.
"Really? You wouldn't switch if you could?" He asks and I look awkwardly at the floor. "I understand, you have to be careful with who you get close to. I know people think I'm some kind of freak, I can't do anything about that."
"But it's got to bother you, idiots running around, putting shaving cream in your locker, laughing at you, making stuff up about who you are." I ask him. I mean I know what horrible things I would be called if my secret got out.
"I didn't say that it doesn't get to me, it's just that there's nothing I can do about it. Like you said, they're idiots." He explains.
"Sorry." I say, actually genuine about it.
"You notice how much you and I keep saying we're sorry to each other?" He smiles softly.
"Sorry, I--"
"Do you see what I mean?" He smiles again and then starts to walk away.
"That other day in chemistry there was something in my book, a picture. Did you see it?" I walk closer to him so that I can talk quieter. I'm slightly worried about what he might be thinking when he pauses and doesn't reply. "Before I closed my book, did you see what it was?"
"I don't think you wanted anybody to see them, I'm cool with that." He shrugs and from his small movement I can smell his musky cologne.
It smells good. Wait, what? No!
"That doesn't answer my question." I cock my head.
"Do you still dance?" He asks and I look at him slightly shocked. How does he still remember that?
"Uh, yeah, most weeks." I frown, not sure what the relevance is to this conversation.
"Do you do it because people are watching you, or because you like to dance?" He continues.
"Because I love to dance."
"Then forget about the idiots. They're going to see what they want to see. Even if you completely changed everything, they wouldn't be happy. They don't want you to change, they want you to go away, I tried that and I didn't like it." He says to me.
Shit, he definitely saw the photo.
"And now you're back." I raise my eyebrows.
"Yeah, I am." He smiles, "see you tomorrow?"
"Mm." I nod and then head back inside my house while he walks back to his.
I stop as my phone beeps;
I run to my car and drive over to her house straight away and Aria arrives at the same time as I do with Emily.
Spencer meets us at the door and leads us up to her room where Hanna is stood staring into the corner looking scared.
We enter and follow her eyes to see Spencer's mirror with a message from 'A' on it.
"Is that jungle red?" Hanna looks at the color of the lipstick that the message is written in.
"Alison's color."