Setting: 1930s/40s
You never had any intentions of hurting Steve Rogers. He was a good man and an even better friend.
You'd met him in high school and the two of you instantly clicked. There were so many things you had in common, drawing being one of them. He'd even drawn a picture and gifted it to you the day of graduation.
On this particular day, you'd also gotten into an argument with your other best friend, James Barnes, better known as Bucky. Bucky was always more popular than Steve, often shadowing over the man of smaller stature.
Bucky also shot Steve down here and there. Everyone knew how badly Steve wanted to join the army in a few years, but instead of encouraging him like a good friend should've done, Bucky always tried to convince Steve not to.
Deep down, you knew a guy like Steve wouldn't cut it on the battlefield. He'd probably be the first to go. However, you respected Steve's wishes and you always wanted the best for him. This was where you and Bucky disagreed.
"If this is what he wants, let him do it. You have no business bossin' him around, Bucky."
Bucky arched a brow and pulled one of his infamous smirks, "I'm not bossin' him around. I'm trying to save his life, doll."
Offended, you poked a finger at his chest, "Don't call me doll and don't act like I'm supporting a death wish. Steve's a smart guy. I believe in him and so should you!"
Just then, Steve strolled up, placing one hand between the two of you. In his other hand, the picture he'd planned to give you.
"Save your breath and stop fighting over me. I'm a grown-up and I can make my own decisions," Steve pointed out.
"Damn right, you can!" Bucky yelped sarcastically. "The two of you are perfect for each other—thick skulls and all."
With that, Bucky turned on his heel and stormed off.
Turning to you, Steve offered a small smile, "Here."
You took the drawing from his hands and tucked a curl behind your ear. Staring down at it, you let out a chuckle.
Steve had drawn himself quite a bit taller in the picture than he was in real life. Under his arm, he'd drawn you, smiling up at him. Everything in the picture was in black and white, except for your rosy red lips.
"It's beautiful." You told Steve, pulling him in for a hug.
In reality, you were an inch or two taller than him, but you never paid any attention to little things like that.
You glanced over at Bucky where he stood amongst a group of your classmates, tugging his graduation cap on his head. Your eyes met for a second.
"When it's time for me to enlist. . ." Steve hesitated and you turned your attention back to him.
"Yes, Steve?"
"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I really like you, (Y/N). I'd like it a lot if you waited for me while I'm gone."
Your eyes widened a little, shocked as to what Steve was asking you.
"Steve," You started, only to be interrupted by one of your teachers up on the stage where you'd soon walk across and receive your diploma.
"Seniors, please make your way to the side of the stage. Line up in alphabetical order. Prepare to enter the next step of your lives."
"We'll talk after," Steve smiled, dismissing himself towards the stage.
You let out a sigh; you cared for Steve, you really did. It was just. . .all this time you'd thought of him as a friend—a close friend. That was all.
After setting the picture down with the rest of your belongings, you made your way to the line. You took your place, which just so happened to be in front of Mr. Barnes himself.
"Look, I'm sorry for raising my voice earlier." Bucky apologized behind you.
Glancing over your shoulder, you shrugged.
"I don't hate you, you know. I don't argue with you just for the sake of arguing. Steve is my best pal, always has been. How can I let him join knowing he might get himself killed?"
You turned around completely for this, "Anyone who joins is taking a risk. A unit's strongest man could die just as easily in battle as Steve. He deserves a chance just like anyone else."
"Well, I see your point, sweetheart, but think of it this way—"
Your name was called and you stepped forward, not hearing anymore of what Bucky had to say. You were a little nervous as you walked across the stage, received your diploma, and reached the other stairs.
You were officially done with high school, and reality began to set in. Steve's next step was to enlist while yours was hopefully more education. Bucky's argument didn't seem so crazy, after all. You felt like you were losing Steve the second he was walking across the stage.
Behind you came Bucky, proud and waving his diploma in the air.
"I didn't get to finish my thought," he caught up to you as you walked behind the stage.
"Doesn't mean I want to hear it, Buck."
"Wait, seriously," he gently caught your hand in his. "We're all Steve has. Think about it. I'm enlisting as soon as I get the chance, but I have family to come back to. Who does Steve have? Just us. If he comes back—"
"When he comes back—"
"If." Bucky repeated, "If he comes back he's coming straight back to you. How does that make you feel? Sitting back here wondering whether or not he's even alive out there?"
You swallowed, "What are you implying?"
"Don't act like you don't know. Steve loves you."
You were slightly taken aback. It didn't surprise you as much as it would have the day before, but Steve's words from earlier were stuck in your head.
"He never told me." You sighed, "I mean I think he tried to earlier, but. . ."
Bucky gave your hand a squeeze, "I wish I was more like Steve. He's a good man. He deserves someone like you."
You parted your lips to speak but Bucky caught you by surprise with a soft kiss.
"I'm sorry if that was selfish of me to do. Honestly, my being scared of losing Steve isn't the only reason why I don't want him to enlist. I know that if he does, you'll wait for him. And I don't blame you, Steve is about as good as it gets."
You were utterly confused. You'd never even thought that Bucky would ever try to kiss you, and before today, you didn't think Steve would ever admit to loving you.
"I don't understand—"
Bucky shook his head, "I knew the both of us were going to fall for you the day we met you. But you and Steve have everything in common. You and Steve have always clicked more. I never said anything until now because I didn't want to interfere. I'm sorry to confuse you."
And with that, the dark-hair, blue-eyed man was walking away, his cap low on his head.
The day had gone completely unexpected, even more so as you walked over to your belongings. The drawing of you and Steve was ripped down the middle and this nearly brought tears to your eyes. Bucky wouldn't have done something like this so it had to be done by someone else, just out of cruelty.
Glancing around, your eyes quickly found Steve's. The smile he'd worn earlier was long gone.
"You did this?" You asked, holding the halves of the drawing up.
"It was a mistake. I should've known that Bucky was your first choice. He's everyone's first choice," Steve pursed his lips, his hands shoved deep in his pockets.
Shaking your head, you took a step towards him, "He kissed me by surprised. I didn't even know how either of you felt until—"
Steve began to turn away, "It doesn't matter anymore. I shouldn't have fooled myself into thinking you'd actually see me as anything more than your scrawny friend."
"Steve, wait," your voice threatened to crack.
You never had any intentions of hurting Steve Rogers. He was a good man and an even better friend. And now? He had turned his back to you and disappeared as if your friendship was some sort of mistake, leaving you behind wondering how it all went wrong so quickly.
___
Hey, it's been a while. Wow. I watched Civil War last night and woke up this morning wanting to write. I've missed this! Hopefully not everyone has removed this book from their library. 😂
How are you guys?