"So how did she fall unconscious again?" The doctor asked with furrowed brows with a frown as he looked up from his clipboard.
We all glanced over at Alan.
Alan sighed.
"Once again," He breathed out in irritation, his elbows propped on his knees in his seat.
"My penis toppled over and fell on top of Polly, knocking her unconscious."
"All 96 inches." Ethan added with a slow nod of his pale, concerned face.
"And this was after Alan's penis jizzed on the crowd." Harry casually piped up from the side.
The doctor blinked at us with a bewildered expression.
"We are talking about a cake, right?" The doctor made sure with a cautious look.
"No, we're talking about my actual penis which is a 96 inch blessing and curse- yes, of course we're talking about the cake! No penis is ever that big even if I am black!" Alan sarcastically snapped in exasperation, throwing his hands in the air before rubbing his face.
The doctor looked at us in a tense silence for a moment as Ethan awkwardly coughed into his fist, his other hand still holding Polly's hand on the bed she lay on, her eyes closed and body strapped to a heart monitor.
This wouldn't have been a big deal if there wasn't a metal interior inside of Alan's layered cake to keep it upright.
Ethan said one of the metal bars hit her on the back of the head when the cake fell over.
"Her vital signs seem stable, we'll just have to wait it out and hope for no internal bleeding in the brain. She should be up in a few hours." The doctor reported, flipping through the diagnostics before shifting his gaze back to Alan who sulked in his chair at the side with a guilt ridden expression.
"As for you, keep the penis in the pants." He retorted in a clipped tone, earning a glare from Alan before the old man left us.
"How did the cake even fall?" I asked, looking over at Alan.
"I was trying to shake it and see if more cream would come out." He groaned into his palms.
"Dude, that's never a good idea, for both a real penis and a cake one." Harry said with a raise of his brow.
"Why the fuck would you do some stupid shit like that, you knew there were people near it." Ethan grit his teeth, abruptly rising from his chair and glaring at Alan across the room who stood to his feet in annoyance.
"What, you think I wanted to hurt Polly? I didn't even know you guys were there since you two arrived so fucking late." Alan defended himself, pointing at his chest.
"Yeah, Ron and I left before you guys even got there. Where were you two?" Harry wondered, looking over Ethan.
Ethan's muscular body relaxed considerably under our gazes, his eyes drifting to mine.
I somehow knew something was up without any exchange of words between us, the both of us staring at one another briefly before I got the silent message, stuffing my hands in my pockets and walking out as Ethan followed behind me, leaving Alan and Harry with Polly in the room.
"Alright, thanks for the response. Really cleared things up." Harry passive aggressively retorted, peeking his head out at the door to watch us walk down the hall before shaking his head and going back inside.
"I told her." Ethan broke the silence as we leaned against the walls of the empty hospital corridor across from each other.
"So that's why you guys were so late. How'd she take it?" I asked with interest, preparing myself for the worst when he simply raised his brows, blowing out a breath and rubbing the back of his neck in response.
"It was... wild." He began, grimacing at the memory.
"At first she thought I was joking but then when she realized I wasn't, she got mad. And I mean super mad since I told her from the start that there was nothing between you and I when she asked in the beginning of our relationship. She called me a liar, worst thing she's ever called me aside from jerk." He sighed in remorse.
"Well.... you could have told her sooner like I advised..." I trailed off, closing my mouth shut and mouthing a timid "sorry" when I saw the vexed look he was sending my way.
"We talked it out though, I let her calm down and made sure to linger around her. Not too much to piss her off but enough to still be close to her. Polly's amazing Ron, once she calmed she understood. She even apologized for her temper which was completely unnecessary but she did. She wants to meet Gus." Ethan finally smiled for the first time since we got to the hospital, a hopeful look in his bright blue eyes that I'd never seen before as I grinned, feeling like a weight had been lifted off of my chest.
"I'm glad to hear that." I told him in a sincere tone, my body relaxing at his words.
"Yeah," He said with a proud look on his face as he darted his tongue out to wet his lips, staring at the ground in thought.
"You think Gus will like her?" Ethan hesitantly asked after a few moments, his voice laced with uncertainty.
"Polly's sweet, rich, and pretty. I'm one hundred percent sure the kid will love her and want her as a second mom." I reassured him with a snort, the both of us knowing our son as he simply chuckled, nodding.
"Hey, don't be like that. Gus's mom is pretty amazing." Ethan defended with a small smile, looking at me.
"Carmen is pretty good." I agreed, referring to my sister.
"I'm talking about you Ron." Ethan said, making me turn my head to meet his gaze, slightly caught off guard before I simply pursed my lips, letting out a "hm."
"His dad's not so bad either." I shrugged.
"His dad's fucking amazing." Ethan smirked as I widened my eyes like I had just heard he biggest lie causing him to laugh.
"I don't know if I've told you this lately but..." He suddenly trailed off, pushing himself off the wall and nearing me as I gave him a confused look.
"I really appreciate you being here and always supporting me." His arms wrapped around my much smaller friend as I smiled, closing my eyes and hugging him back, patting his shoulder.
"Anytime you big lug." I comforted him, our chests pressed against each other before a new person cleared their throat in front of us.
We broke apart, looking at the familiar, stubby, chubby woman in front of us with brown eyes and tan skin similar to mine.
Ethan and I froze.
"What the hell's your sister doing here?" Ethan whispered to me in fear as we stared at Carmen who stood in front of us, plump arms crossed over her big chest as she sent us a sharp look.
"I have no idea, just don't move and maybe she won't attack." I whispered back just as lowly.
We stayed completely still, unblinking even.
Contrary to my belief, she attacked.
"What the fuck are you two doing here hugging in the middle of the damn hallway like it's some Dr. Phil show, I swear to God if you're here getting tested for any STD's I'll make both of you sorry!" Carmen promised in a quick voice, reaching out and pinching both Ethan and my ears before we could run, just like old times as she brought our heads down to her as we screamed and flailed helplessly.
"We're clean! We're clean!" Ethan and I panicked as my tiny big sister dragged us down the hall by our ears, her thunder thighs fast walking in a blur that made her big rump move in the air naturally with each step.
"Then what are you two doing here hm?" She pressed with a stern expression.
"What are you even doing here? You work at Kaiser." I pointed out in a pained voice, rubbing my ear as did Ethan when she finally released us from her chubby handed death grip.
"I'm taking extra shifts, now, take off your pants, the both of you. I don't trust your nasty asses, if I find one sexually transmitted bacteria on both of your genitals you say goodbye to one ballsack," She began, slipping on a glove from her white coat pocket before turning to me.
"And you can say goodbye to one side of your vagina lips, now, who's first." She continued as I groaned and Ethan gulped, shielding his crotch protectively as her eyes zeroed in on the large man.
"You're first." Carmen snapped her fingers and pointed at a pale Ethan, crying for my help before I heard rushed footsteps near me from behind.
"Where the fuck did you two go, we've been looking for you every-" Alan began, almost passing the hallway were in before retracting his steps as he paused at the harsh sound of my sister's cold stern voice.
"Pants off now!" Carmen snapped at Ethan, his much larger frame cowering in fear of her five foot one pudgy body.
"Who in the hell is that?" Alan questioned with a look.
"My older sister." I responded.
"Ms. Parrish, this is Mr. Kreg's urine sample." A nurse passed by, handing my sister a small plastic cup of yellow liquid.
"Thank you Christy." Carmen smiled, displaying a picture of wariness across her round face before she turned back to Ethan with a glare.
"You see this, I've got Mr. Kreg's piss right here in my hand and don't think I won't hesitate to shove it down your throat if I find out you're abusing that stupid howdy-ho penis of yours." She chillingly threatened in a low voice.
I shuddered in fear while Alan looked like he had shot by cupid's love arrow as he stared at my sister.
"She's the most beautiful angel..." He said in a soft exhale, looking at her like how Harry looked at his Ferrari as I gave him a second glance, practically seeing the hearts and sparkles emanating around Alan as he goofily grinned while Carmen was practically beating Ethan to death with a urine sample.
"Hey, idiots." Another voice joined in with a sharp whistle, causing all heads to turn to look at Harry- well, aside from Alan who was still staring at Carmen in a dreamy state as Harry stood there.
"Polly's awake." His urgent green eyes flickered to each and everyone of us as Ethan leapt into action, the first to out of all of us to react as he darted out of the hallway towards Polly's room before we followed after him.
Polly was blinking up at the ceiling slowly, her senses gradually coming back to her as Ethan and Harry approached her bed, both on either side of her while Alan, Carmen, and I lingered at the door, not wanting to crowd and overwhelm the girl.
"Polly," Ethan breathed out a sigh of relief, smiling down at his girlfriend as she slowly turned her head to look up at him, his hand over her small one.
"Hi Ethan." She greeted in a soft voice, a warm smile spreading across her face before she turned her attention to Harry who held her other hand.
Her hazel eyes widened.
"Oh Harry," She sighed in comfort at the sight of him before she sat herself up, slipping her hand out from underneath Ethan's as she wrapped her arms around a stunned Harry.
"Uh- hey Polly, glad you're feeling better-" Harry never finished his sentence when Polly pressed her lips against his, holding him by the collar and keeping him to her.
Harry's green eyes widened with alarm, his tense arms out on his sides before he quickly grabbed her wrists, trying to pry her away.
The second he got her off him Harry looked over at me with a worried expression, as if to say "it wasn't me" while my jaw was completely slack, as was Alan and Ethan's.
"I don't get it." My sister said, still not knowing who Polly and Harry were as Polly smiled, closing her eyes and pressing her content face against Harry's chest, cuddling him.
"I was so so worried, I'm so glad you're here. With me." She beamed, trying to pull Harry in for another kiss as he quickly stopped her, shaking his head and pushing away as Ethan's silence caught my attention, his back muscles stiff and his stance rigid before he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, gaze lowered to the ground and tattooed hands balled into tight fists.
I blinked in surprise when I notice the hint of guilt on his face as he passed me.
Guilt wasn't an emotion a boyfriend would have seeing his girlfriend kiss another guy.
Knowing he had an explanation I hesitantly left the room, my gaze lingering over at Polly who playfully whined and giggled, trying to drag Harry down to lay with her as he repeatedly yanked her prying hands away from his shirt while Alan tried to inch closer to my sister who gave him a look.
I rushed after Ethan in determination, grabbing his bulging bicep and turning him to me his angered eyes met my own.
"Why did Polly kiss Harry just now." I demanded, keeping him oblivious to the fact that my reasons for knowing was purely selfish, only thinking about Harry at the moment as Ethan's jaw clenched.
He didn't respond.
"Why is she acting so differently." I took a step forward as Ethan's breathing became ragged.
"She's not acting differently, she's acting normally now." He ground out through gritted teeth.
"What do you mean normally? She's your girlfriend, you're her boyfriend you're not supposed to just stand there and watch her kiss another guy. She likes you-"
"No she liked Harry! She liked him from the very start and I fucked her up and had to pay the price. Now she's back to normal." He snapped, his loud voice overpowering mine, bouncing off the walls of the corridor as I released his arm, staring up at him in confusion.
Polly... liked Harry?
"You know how I always kept my response vague when you asked how Polly and I met? How I told you we saw each other at some fancy ass bar on her side of town right." He breathed, his chest slowly rising and falling as he attempted to calm down while I only nodded lightly, trying to understand.
"That's because it wasn't what you would think." Ethan said, a distraught and frustrated look etched across his hard features before his eyes pierced mine.
"When I first met Polly she was originally into Harry. They were at the bar I was working at for part time and I got in a fight, somehow Polly tried to get in to stop it only to get hit and fall unconscious. This isn't the first time she's been knocked out." He began, pressing his back against the wall as if to catch his breath with a faraway look in his eyes as he recalled the memory.
"Feeling guilty I went with Harry who took her to the hospital. When she woke up, all emotions of attraction to Harry had somehow shifted to me and I don't- I don't know what I was thinking. She just woke up and treated me the way she just acted towards Harry back there. Harry didn't even like her in that way anyways and I felt like I owed the girl." Ethan continued, bringing his hands up to his hair to tug at his roots in frustration as I blinked at him.
"We made a deal. Harry told me she was sensitive and that I couldn't break her heart- which was why he always struggled to let her know that he didn't feel anything back for her. He said this was perfect, him and her could still stay friends since she was into me and I just went along- I didn't-"
"Wait, wait, wait. So what you're telling me here is... that you've been pretending to be Polly's boyfriend all this time because of an accident? An accident that made her stop liking Harry and start liking you?" I slowly reiterated, trying to piece everything together as Ethan began to pace back and forth with wide, worried eyes.
"That's the thing Ron," His voice broke, sounding more distressed than he looked as his panicked gaze met mine.
"I'm not pretending anymore. I love Polly, I really love her, I've fallen in love with her you have to understand that." He desperately said, the pain in his eyes evident.
"But now she's back to normal..." Ethan trailed off, his shoulders sagging in realization before he opened his mouth to speak again.
"She's back to liking Harry again."
AN: I love the smell of plot twists in the morning. Don't you?
How I make my banners and pictures I post every chapter:
1.) Go to photoshop (aka the app superimpose) and pick two photos.
2.) photoshop pictures together and change filter of one photo to match the other as best as possible
3.) crop and go to the app PicsArt and press the art section before putting "oil paint" filter on it to give it the artsy painting look
4.) Go on Phonto and put the fonts along with any filter wanted (yes she has no hands because I was lazy but that's why Harry's there to feed her)
I make one for every chapter and it takes around fifteen minutes to forty.