"There they are. That's your little jelly bean. Can you see it's little heart beat?"
Chris and I had been back in Boston all of three days. Our honeymoon in Australia had ended. We were husband and wife. Expecting our first child even. And here we were. Staying with Chris' mum because we didn't have any furniture in our new place yet. Still completely jet lagged. Both of us between jobs. Having the very first ultrasound to see our baby.
It had been a pretty interesting ride to get to this very point. Chris and I had first met just over three years ago. We were in a book shop and he bought me a book. He had also lied to me about who he was.
Well, not exactly. He had said he was an actor and he'd told me his name. I had just not recognised him and thought by actor he'd meant barista who did community theatre. Also porn. For some reason I really thought that he might be porn.
He was not. Unless you call running around in a blue unitard porn. I kind of do. That shit is hot. Chris was an honest to god actor, who starred in movies. After we'd started going out he got offered the role of Captain America in the new Disney/Marvel film franchise. We have been navigating our relationship in the public eye ever since.
It hasn't always been easy. I'm not a celebrity. I'm a scientist from Australia that studies predators. I don't really get celebrity culture at all, except that I quite like nerdy things and I fangirl hard when I meet someone from the world of my nerdy interests.
Chris squeezed my hand. His legs bounced restlessly as he looked at the monitor at the weird little shape that moved on the screen. "That's our baby, Emily." He said, the nervous energy coming out in word form. "We made that."
The ultrasound technician did some measurements while Chris leaned over and kissed my forehead.
"It looks like you're about 10 weeks. You should have come in for your first appointment a couple of weeks ago." She said.
I groaned. "I know. I'm an idiot that doesn't know their own body well enough."
"Not to worry. Jelly bean looks healthy enough." She pushed a button on the machine and this squish squish noise filled the room. "That's their heartbeat."
Chris squealed his hand squeezing mine.
The technician laughed. "I'm guessing daddy is going to want a photo of this." She hit another button and there was a whirring sound from the machine.
"I think daddy might want to take the ultrasound machine home with him." I laughed.
The technician tore of the little strip of photos and handed them to Chris. He stared at them with a smile on his face. I nudged him. "Hey nerd, live streaming from my uterus right now."
He looked up and poked his tongue out at me.
The technician did some more measurements moving the wand around to different sides to get all the possible angles. I started to squirm uncomfortably.
"Okay. I think we're all done. You can go pee now if you need to." She said.
"Oh thank Christ." I yelped scrambling to my feet. I think she may have had more to say, but I didn't stop to listen. I just dashed to the bathroom desperate to empty my extremely full bladder that had just been pushed down on by the ultrasound wand for far too long.
When I came back Chris was alone. He burst out laughing.
"She gave me these so you can clean up and said she'd send the results to the OBGyn." He said, handing me a wad of tissue.
I wiped my stomach just for something to do, as I'd already cleaned most of the gel off in the bathroom. Chris pulled me over to him as I held my skirt up wiping myself down. He kissed me just below the belly button.
"Hello, Jelly Bean." He whispered. "I can't wait to meet you."
I ruffled his hair and he pressed his face up against my stomach. I hugged his head for a moment and then pushed him away.
"Is that their name now?" I asked, taking Chris' hand and pulling him to his feet.
"I like it." He said.
Our next stop was blood tests. I was waning by the time the phlebotomist was able to see me but the tests went by quickly. Then it was back up to the OBGyn.
Chris was buzzing. He wanted to know anything and everything. I actually had to leave the room halfway through to throw up. So that's how well it went in my eyes. She told me to take pregnancy vitamins and ginger pills for the nausea. Other than that everything was normal. I'd have appointments once a month until the last few months when it would be every two week, then every week until the baby was born.
Chris asked when he'd get to know the gender. When I'd be showing. When he'd get to feel the baby. When my morning sickness would go away. Was all the travelling we were doing safe. Was sex okay. That was an important one for him because he kept pushing it. I think he was trying to figure out what was still okay to do without saying 'hey I like to tie my wife up and flog her, is that okay?' or 'oh sometimes she has two dicks in her at the same time, will that hurt the baby?'
Hey doc, my name's Emily. I'm kinky as hell. Tell me, how kinky can I be now I'm growing another person?
Sex was a huge part of Chris and my relationship. We hadn't rushed into it (his idea, not mine), but once we started having it we sampled from a wide array of things. Light BDSM was our main kink. He's the D, I'm the S. I really like it. I like being tied up and hit. I like it when he calls me names. I really like it when he edges me for hours before he lets me come.
It's not the only thing either. We like bringing other people in. We aren't swingers. More, we like a third to join in on occasion. So far the females have been random, but we do have a male friend who will join us from time to time. Tom Hiddleston. Do you know him? Man when both our kinks happen at once, then you get a happy Emily.
"You really don't need to worry. Sex is fine. Most activities Emily would normally take part in are fine. Unless she's routinely being hit in the stomach she's at no risk." Doctor McKenna said. "Not a kick boxer are you, Emily? You may need to scale back on the kick boxing."
I laughed. "Damn it. I was just planning on starting."
"She does parkour though. Maybe she should stop that." Chris added.
The doctor looked at me like she didn't quite believe what she'd heard. "Parkour like jumping building to building?"
"That's the one." I said.
"Well it's probably no more unsafe to you than it normally is. I guess I wouldn't recommend it." Doctor McKenna said.
I laughed. "Okay. No more free running. Chris, you spoil sport."
The doctor said her goodbyes and we headed out of the hospital to the car. Chris turned me to face him and pressed me against the passenger door. His hands went to my face and he kissed me. "Can I take my two favourite people to lunch do you think?"
I shook my head. "I'm really tired and the jetlag has made my nausea all over the place. I just wanna go home and eat saltines and try not to throw up and nap while you play with my hair."
Chris kissed my forehead. "Of course."
After we got back to Lisa's place, Lisa drilled us with questions about the appointment. How far along was I? Did everything look okay? Was the fact I didn't know for so long terrible? I left Chris to answer while I went up to his room to rest with a box of crackers and a sprite.
I thought I'd try to read, but I had trouble focusing on the page. I really should have just let myself sleep, but I'm an idiot and I wanted to be needy and have Chris actually come stroke my hair.
He finally made his way upstairs to me and I was half drifting off with a half eaten cracker in my hand.
Chris came and sat on the edge of the bed. He took the saltine from my hand and tossed it into the trash. "Whatcha doin', dummy?"
"Being a baby." I said. "I wanna sleep, but not without you here."
Chris lay down next to me and I moved so I was lying in the crook of his arm. "Aww. How nice. I have two babies." He stroked his hand over my stomach. "I wish I could feel it." He said pressing down. "Can you?"
"I don't know. Sometimes I feel these little fluttery things. I looked online and people said that's it. But like, maybe it's just indigestion."
His hand moved to my hair and he started to run his fingers through it. "Baby kicking or gas. That's hilarious." He said. "I'm so excited, Emily."
"I know you are, my love." I said closing my eyes.
"You told me on our wedding day." Chris said.
"I know. I remember." He kept going over it, like he couldn't believe it was real. That maybe someone was about to jump out from behind a curtain and tell him it was some kind of elaborate hidden camera prank. "That's because that's when I found out."
"Your dress was too tight on your boobs." He laughed.
"Chris?" I whispered.
"What is it, babe?"
I reached up and tapped his cheek. "Shh."
"Want me to sing you to sleep?" He asked.
I hummed in reply.
"There is freedom within, there is freedom without. Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup." He sang.
"That's an Australian band." I murmured.
"I know it is." He replied. "There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost. But you'll never see the end of the road when you're travelling with me."
"I really like this song."
"I know you do. Now shh. Go to sleep." He said. "Hey now, hey now. Don't dream it's over. Hey now, hey now. When the world comes in. They come, they come, to build a wall between us. We know that they won't win."
I drifted off to sleep in his arms.