Chapter Two
I shut my eyes and took in a deep breath before turning the door handle and taking a cautious step into the house. Once I'm inside I shut the door and take a few more steps into the living room; no Zayn. I set my bag down on the coffee table and sighed. He could still be in the bedroom, and I wasn't entirely sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing.
I walked down the hallway and peered into the bedroom door. The bed was empty and the bathroom door was open, he wasn't here. My heart sunk a little.
I wanted to avoid confrontation with Zayn, but he's been gone all night. What if something happened to him? What if he got into a fight? What if he got hit by a car? What if some fans kidnapped him and are holding them hostage in their Zayn Malik poster covered bedrooms?
Okay, so, the last one is outrageous, but what if something did happen to him and he's in the hospital right now? Surely one of the boys would've called me then....right?
I scampered back into the living room and hurriedly dug into my purse in search of my phone with shaky hands. Maybe he stayed with one of the boys, I told myself in an attempt to calm the fuck down. It didn't work.
When I finally found my phone I called Niall first but I hit the wrong name in my contact twice because I couldn't stop my hands from shaking with anticipation, and fear. After calling Niall, Liam, and Harry with no sign of Zayn I was hysterical and almost at the point of a full blown panic attack. I dialed Louis' number and when he repeated the other boys' replies I couldn't hold it in anymore and the gate holding back my tears open.
"Whoa, Perrie, what's wrong Love?" Louis asked due to my sudden outburst.
"I-I-I," I wiped my eyes and sniffled. "I don't know where Zayn is," I cried between sobs. I could care less about Louis hearing the horrid and broken sounds coming out of my mouth. The only thing I cared about right now was Zayn.
"Shh, Perrie just try to calm down okay?" He cooed.
"How do you expect me to calm down when my fiance is no where to be found and could be lying beaten in the middle of no where right now!" I exclaimed, my voice rising with every word.
"Perrie, wherever Zayn is I'm sure he's okay. He was with us last night. Just try to stop crying and calm down for me Love, I can barely understand you."
I took a deep breath in and shut my eyes for a moment and imagined a brick wall towering before me. It seemed to be the only way I could ever sooth my emotions, and lately this brick wall has been envisioned behind my eyelids quite frequently.
"Are you calm now Perrie?" Louis' voice asked after a moment.
I nodded at first until I realized he couldn't see me. "Yes."
"Have you called the rest of the lads to check if he's with any of them?"
"Yes, and they all gave me the same answer as you," I told him.
"Have you tried calling Wal-" he started to say, but I never heard the last part of his sentence because the sound of the front door being opened captured my attention.
Zayn stepped through the door and I froze for a second before I dropped my phone and ran up to him before hugging with so much force I was wasn't even embracing him. I was clinging on to him with so much desperation I wanted to cry; so I did.
Zayn was a bit taken back by my forceful embrace but he quickly regained his composer and clung to me just as tightly.
"My god you scared me so much. I thought something happened to you," he said kissing the top of my head and resting his chin where the warmth still lingered.
"I- I thought something happened to you too," I confessed between sobs. buried my face in his neck while he kissed the top of my head again.
"I'm okay baby. I'm okay, you're okay; we're okay."
We stood there in the middle of the room clinging to each other for who knows how long, him rubbing my back and kissing my head or cheek every so often as my quiet cries and sniffles filled the room. But they weren't mournful as they were only minutes ago. These tears were ones of relief and love and I had so many of them to spare after shedding so many of pain and sorrow. Although I'm not sure how that's possible. I would've thought my eyes have have been drowned enough for the past two days. But it seems the more I cry the easier it gets to reciprocate it.
"We're okay," he reassured me in a hushed tone as if afraid speaking too loud would startle me and cause sobs to rack through my body once more.
"We're okay," I whispered back. I knew he meant only in the physical sense, that emotionally our relationship wasn't perfect at this point in time but we were both here, and we were both okay. And right now, that was all that mattered.
-
I was well aware that this period of peace in Zayn and I''s relationship wouldn't last forever-trust me, I knew that. I just didn't expect it to come to an end so quickly; like in forty-eight hours.
"Pear," Zayn called from the living kitchen.
"In here," I answered keeping my eyes locked on my laptop screen. I was reading an email from Demi's assistant about the schedule of the Neon Lights Tour. The girls and I left in exactly six weeks to start the tour in Vancouver, which also meant only six weeks left of our time off.
Don't get me wrong, I love performing and going to signings and interviews, and meeting the fans especially, but "privacy" and "freedom" aren't necessarily included in a celebrity's vocabulary.
I heard Zayn's footsteps stomp down the hall until he reached the door. I snapped my attention towards him when he said, "Perrie, babe."
"Yeah?" I answered hesitantly, feeling uneasy at the overly-calm tone he was using.
"Who were you on the phone with before?" He asked casually.
"Louis. Why?"
"Why were you talking to Louis," he demanded.
"Zayn why does it matter, it's-"
"Why were you talking to him," he cut me off. I knew that first question was anything but casual.
"Why does it matter Zayn, why does it matter whether or not I talk to Louis," I challenged.
"Because," he said.
"Because why?" This whole thing was ridiculous. He couldn't possibly be jealous over Louis. He was in a relationship for God's sake!
"Because I know Louis has feelings for you!" He finally answered.
Oh my fucking god.
"Zayn, are you forgetting about the fact that Louis is gay and currently in a relationship with Harry!" I yelled.
"That doesn't mean shit," he said raising his voice to meet mine.
"Well last time I checked, it meant he was attracted to guys, and I am not a guy!" I screamed back at him.
"Thats doesn't mean he still can't be attracted to you," he shot back.
I was getting really annoyed now. Louis was gay. Gay! And not to mention Zayn's best friend and the fact that Zayn would think Louis would betray him like that makes me a little sick.
"Louis is your best mate Zayn, he wouldn't do that to you even if he wasn't gay," I told him lowering my voice.
"You don't know that," he said harshly.
I am so done, I thought to myself.
"You know what Zayn, I don't. Because apparently I don't know anything and you know everything," I sneered.
"That's not at all what I was saying and you know it," he glared.
"Well it sure as hell seems like it."
"Don't you dare try to turn this around on me, I-"
"The only thing you are right now Zayn is ridiculous!" I exclaimed. "Why would you ever think Louis would be capable of doing something like that. he's done so much for you and has been loyal to you since day one. Do you know how much of a good friend he is to you?" I didn't let him answer.
"He's so good of a friend to you Zayn, that he was helping me plan a date for you tonight so I could surprise you, but I guess his assistance won't be needed anymore seeing as there won't be a date."
"Perrie I-I didn't know-" he tried to explain but I didn't let him finish.
"Exactly! You didn't know and yet you still chose to jump to conclusions all because you couldn't control your jealous," I said in disgust..
"I was not jealous," he lied, his temper building again.
I sighed. "Whatever Zayn."
"I wasn't," he defended.
"Okay Zayn." picked up my laptop again and started to scroll through my other emails.
"I wasn't jealous Perrie," he said again raising his voice even more.
This time I chose to ignore him completely. There was no way he was ever going to admit his jealousy, so why even bother?
Once he realized I wasn't going to pay him anymore attention, he stomped down the hallway and my ears heard the faint sound of the door being slammed shut. I put my head in my hands .
Why didn't I just try to talk it out with him? Why did I let him leave? I let a tear stream down my face and drip onto the soft blue comforter. Why did I let it get this bad?
It takes two people to be in a relationship, Jesy's words echoed through my head.
If things keep going the way they are, I'm not sure there will even be a relationship.