Just a Dream
The pain was suddenly over. I couldn't feel anything anymore. I felt safe again in the emptiness, there was nothing around to hurt me.
I heard voices all around me; some sounded familiar, but they all blurred together. Eventually they stopped, and I was in peace. Everything was black, I couldn't feel any pain anymore. Was I dead? If this was death, it wasn't so bad.
I was in complete darkness. I felt as if I were floating in an endless abyss. There was nothing anymore, nothing could hurt me but nothing could make me happy either. I was okay with it though; after all, all of the pain from the virus and serum trials was over. The pain was gone and so was everything else.
But, after some time I began to feel like something was wrong, I could feel it. It was almost like I was watching a movie and I knew something bad was about to happen. The calm that I felt earlier was being replaced by a pit in my stomach.
Suddenly, I heard the most familiar voice. I heard my mother.
"Olivia?" I hear her say softly. "Wake up Olivia."
"What?" I tried to say, but nothing came out.
I heard her laugh. "Come on, baby. Kyle's here."
I opened my eyes. I was in my room, and my mom was leaning over me.
"How did I get here?" I asked, sitting up. I was so confused, the last thing I knew I was still floating through space. What panicked me most was the feeling of my memories slipping though my fingers like sand. All of the thoughts that were just there kept falling away.
She laughed. "You must have been dreaming, silly."
Everything felt off, but I couldn't remember why. "Dreaming about what?"
"I don't know!" She stood up straight. "I know my physic powers are pretty spot on but I'm not that good." She winked.
I force chuckled. "Funny."
She grabbed my hand. "Come on, Olivia. I made breakfast, and Kyle is waiting for you in the kitchen."
"Kyle?" I remembered who Kyle was, but there was something that happened to him.. I just couldn't remember what though.
"Yes.. You remember Kyle right? Love of your life?" She poked my side.
I giggle, but something wasn't right. Kyle wasn't supposed to be there. I knew he couldn't be, but I couldn't remember why not.
I stood up and walked past my mom. "Aren't you going to get dressed first?" She asked.
I just kept walking, I didn't care what I was wearing. Something was wrong and I had to figure out what it was. I hurried down the stairs and into the kitchen.
There he was, Kyle was just sitting there at our table. He was playing with Ella, just like he used to. I began to remember the times when we would take her to the park. He was always like a brother to her. Suddenly I remembered why he wasn't supposed the be there.
"You're dead."
He looked at me and smiled a big, gorgeous smile. "Good morning princess!" He stood up and started toward me. "How are-"
I stepped back, I didn't want him to touch me. "You're dead!"
He stopped. "What?"
I felt tears welling up in my eyes. "You're dead! You killed yourself! You slit your wrists and died." I pushed him. I was so angry. I didn't know how I knew it, but I knew he was dead. All I remembered was the pain, the heartache, that I felt after he died. All I felt now was anger because of what he did me. Maybe it was selfish to feel that way, but I still did. "How could you?"
My dad stood up from the table. "Woah! Stop!" He grabbed my arm just as it got ready to hit Kyle again, this time much much harder. "What is this about, Olivia?"
I felt the tears falling down my face. "You died.. I was at your funeral.. How could you do that to me?"
"Liv.."
"Don't call me that!"
He laughed a gentle, understanding laugh. "It was just a bad dream." He gently put his hands on my shoulders. "I'm here. I will always be here." He wrapped me in his arms.
"But I saw you."
"It was just a bad dream. You can tell me about it in the car okay?" He looked at me and smiled.
I nodded. "Okay." I said and I wrapped my arms around him. I still hurt, everything inside me hurt, but the anger began to subside. Nothing made sense, but I had to admit to myself that it was one of the best feelings in the world to have him hold me again.
I had nothing but short images in my mind. I saw him in a casket, I saw my family's faces as I was being dragged away to quarantine. I saw the people I met there, I couldn't remember their names. I saw the serum, and I remembered all the pain I felt right before I "woke up." What virus? I thought to myself. All the images of what felt so real a minute ago started to fade. Maybe it was all just a bad dream. It must have been.
"Are you excited for today?"
I paused. Was I supposed to know what today was? "Um- what's today again?"
He chuckled. "That's must have been quite the dream to make you forget!"
Forget what?
"Well after we finish here eating breakfast I'm gonna take you to the lake for a walk, then we're gonna watch the sun rise."
The sun rise? I looked out the window, it was dark still. It was strange, usually it would be light by the time we eat breakfast. I looked at the clock; 6:00 a.m. it read. "Why are we eating so early?"
"Well your father has to go in early to work for a meeting for one. Plus, you and Kyle had to be up early too if you're going to get to the lake on time." She smiled as she put a plate of eggs and sausage in front of me.
"Mom and dad are taking me birthday shopping.." Ella said with a disappointed tone.
"Oh, don't sound so beat up about it Ella!" My dad said. "You get to pick out the cake remember?"
"Yeah I know.."
I felt guilty, I didn't know whose birthday it was. I didn't want to ask and risk hurting somebody's feelings, but I felt like it would hurt them more if I didn't find out. "Whose birthday is it?"
The whole room stopped and looked at me, confused. Then they started chuckling.
"Well duh it's yours! That's why Kyle's taking you on a special date!" Ella exclaimed.
"Well tomorrow it will be." My mom corrected and laughed. She put her hand on my cheek. "I think she's still a bit disoriented."
Oh.. Well I didn't have to worry about hurting my own feelings. "Yeah I guess I must be." I said laughing at myself. There was still one thing I didn't know. "How old am I?"
My mom gave me a worried look this time. "Wow, Olivia! Are you okay?" She dropped what she was doing and came over to feel my head. "You don't have a fever.. I could swear something's wrong though."
I smiled. "I'm fine, just disoriented. Like you said."
"Must be!" Kyle chuckled and grabbed my hand under the table. "Well you'll be eighteen tomorrow."
"Oh."
"Finish your breakfast!" My mom ordered. "You two better hurry up or you'll miss the sunrise."
I didn't really feel like eating, but I knew I should since my mom wouldn't let us go until we had finished. I ate hurriedly; it was strange, usually my moms breakfast is my favorite meal, but I couldn't really taste anything. Maybe I really was sick.
Once I had finished eating I went quickly upstairs to get dressed. I couldn't explain it, but I was excited. That dream must have really gotten to me; deep down, I was so happy to have Kyle here again, despite my original reaction. I guess thinking that he was dead made me appreciate his being here more, even though I was so angry at first.
I decided to dress up a little today; I put on my favorite sweater and wore a matching skirt and boots. I combed my hair and put it up in a pony tail. My hair was straight enough that all I had to do in the mornings was calm it down and it would look at least decent.
When I walked downstairs I heard my dad whistle. He was sitting at the dining table, which was next to the stair case.
"Don't you look pretty!" He put down his tablet, which he read the news on every morning before work. "Getting all fancy for today?"
I chuckled and looked at my outfit. "Oh this? I just threw it together."
"Right.." He winked. "Go on Kyle's in the living room."
I practically bounded into the living room. It felt like it had been so long since I'd been with him, even though it must have been just a dream. I knew how it felt to miss him, and I was so glad to have him.
His eyes lit up when I walked in the room. "You look pretty!" He said. He grabbed my hand and led me out to his car.
The whole way there we talked and laughed, just like we used to; I mean, like we always do. He used one hand to hold my and the other hand to drive; he made me so happy. I couldn't explain the feeling I got from holding his hand, I felt like it had been so long.
The drive tool about twenty minutes, but it went by too quickly. The sky was beginning to get bright, the sun would be coming up soon.
"Come on!" He said as he dragged me by the hand toward the water. "It's almost time!"
I laughed as we ran toward the old apple tree next to the lake. Once we reached it he sat down and patted the spot next to him. We were seated finally.
This was one of the only two parks on New Eden. Since we had to make the most of every square inch on the planet there was very little space for recreational places. I was just grateful that we lived within driving distance of it.
"Do you remember when we came here on our first date?"
"Of course!"
"And I told you that on your next birthday I would take you here?"
"Huh.. I actually don't remember that."
He grabbed my hand. I looked and saw the sun beginning to rise. "Well that's because I didn't say it out loud, because I wanted to be able to look back and say that I remember how much you loved it and promised myself that I would take you here again. That way when this day came, I could say that despite the fact that I didn't have any verbal commitment to do it but I still did it anyways. That way I could prove that I love you without feeling like I have to, I love you because I want to. I love you for real."
It took my breath away. It meant everything that such a little thing meant so much to him. I felt tears begin to fill my eyes, I loved him.
"I love you so much, Kyle." I laid my head on his shoulder. "For real."
"I love you too, Olivia." He kissed my head.
"Can we just stay here for a while?"
"Of course."
The sun had started to reflect off the the water. Orange and pink clouds stretched across the sky. The sun looked like little yellow diamonds shining in the water, the ripples danced in the perfect pattern to create a surreal painting.
A little yellow canary chirped in the tree next to us. A little green frog hopped around at the shore. Dragonflies had begun to wake up and buzz around. Everything was so beautiful, I wanted it to last forever.
"The founders sure did a good job designing a planet with all the beauty of earth." Kyle stated. "It really is perfect."
"Yeah it is."
He looked at me. "You know I loved you right?"
"What?" I took my head off of his shoulder. Did he say 'loved?'
"You were my everything." He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "Don't ever forget that. I'm sorry I hurt you."
I forgot about the sunrise. "You're my everything too. I love you, but what are you saying?"
"This isn't real, Olivia. You were right about me, about everything."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm dead. And-"
"Stop!" Memories began to fill my head again. The funeral, the virus, the serum: I started to remember it all. My mind started to swirl, a pit in my stomach started to form, I felt so many different emotions at one time that I didn't know what to do. The tears in my eyes started to fall. This was the dream, I realized, but I didn't want reality. "Stop it please! I don't want to go back there!"
He grabbed both my hands. "I can't control that." He looked at the sky. "It's almost time, Olivia."
"Time for what?" I said through the lump in my throat.
"You know what."
I did know. I had to go back; everything was real, and I couldn't avoid it anymore. I shook my head. "I don't want to go."
"I know." He wrapped his arms around me tightly.
"I don't want to forget."
"You don't have to." He looked at me and smiled a comforting smile. "Just because this is a dream, doesn't mean that it's something you can't hold on to."
"You're not real."
"No." He admitted. "But what I said was real. That is really how I felt about you."
"Then why did you give up?" I cried. "Why didn't you keep trying? For me?"
He sighed. "Sometimes, Olivia, despite all the good that happens in ones life, the bad just outweighs it. Sometimes life is too hard to bear for somebody, and they don't see how it can get better."
I started to sob. "I'm sorry Kyle. It was my fault."
He shook his head. "No! Don't you ever think that! You were the best part of my life!"
"But-"
"It's time, Olivia." He looked me in the eye. "I love you."
"I-"