"Kanina pa yan tulala ah?" Nagulat si Dokyeom nang nakita niya ang Jeonghan hyung niya sa likuran niya. Mutikan nang matapon ni Chan ang hawak na tray ng iced tea para sa hindi inaasahang bisita na si Wonwoo. Aish, mayroon pa pala. Napaisip siya saka agad na bumalik sa kusina para ipaghanda ng merienda ang mga bisita nila.
"Jeonghan hyung?" Mas nagulat pa si Dokyeom nang makita ang buong barkada sa may pinto nila. Seungkwan, Jeonghan, Jihoon, Minghao, and an additional Vernon are all present. Plastered in their faces were sad smiles.
Kulang nalang eh sabihin nila condolence, dahil mukhang namatayan na naman si Wonwoo. "Hi. Ano kamusta, nagsalita na ba 'yan?" Tanong ni Jeonghan.
Umupo sila sa sala. "Oo nga, kamusta na? Ilang months na iyan ganyan," sabi naman ni Minghao. Dokyeom sighed. "Anong ilang months, ilang years na kamo," he corrected Minghao.
"EDI SORRY NA, HINDI LANG MARUNONG MAGBILANG NG BUWAN," sagot naman ni Minghao. Kahit kailan napakalokoloko nitong si Minghao, isip-isip ni Jeonghan. Years.
Their friend has been like that for two years. Tulala. Walang imik. "Kung ako din naman si Wonu hyung, magiging ganyan rin ako. Baka nga mas malala pa eh," muttered Seungkwan who is currently holding the hand of his boyfriend. "Ikaw ba naman makipag hide-and- seek sa isang taong deleted ka na sa buhay at hindi mo talaga mahanap, tingin ko sobrang nakakaewan yun," sinawsaw niya ang fries sa cream na inihanda ni Dino para sa kanila. All of them gave Seungkwan a stop-talking look.
Vernon started talking on the other hand, "Pati nga barkada namin wala nang contact sa kanya and sa family niya," Although I could still contact him... kinain na naman si Vernon ng konsensya niya. He has been trying to stay quiet for a while now. Well, he can't spill the beans.
For the past two years, Wonwoo has been trying to know the whereabouts of the Kim family. Nagresign si Taehyung sa trabaho, naghiwalay na rin sila ni Jungkook for some reason so his brother has no idea. No contacts too, sa kahit saan even in social media. Hindi naman sa blocked. Inactive lang. Tinadtad na nga niya ng messages, wala pa ring reply. Hindi manlang sineen.
Si Ms. Kim naman nawawala. Hindi niya alam kung kasama ba ito ni Mingyu dahil wala ito sa Kim residence at sa bahay na tinitirahan niya dati. He is assuming that they moved in a different country, kung hindi baka nasa Korea lang, pero sa malayo.
Lingid sa kaalaman ni Wonu, his friends are helping him behind his back. In their free time, madalas silang nagreresearch, naghahagilap ng information okaya nagtatravel just to take step forward.
Para na siyang stalker sa ginagawa niya, sila. Pati sina Seungcheol inimbestigahan na nila. They looked into their phones, pero no doubt wala talaga, they thought. Si Vernon muntikan nang mahuli, he used a different phone para kunwari wala siyang contact kay Mingyu and he asked him to block him in his social media accounts before the others find out they have been talking to eacn other.
..bakit? Wonu just wanted to ask Mingyu why. Sina Jeonghan, they just want their friend's comfort and smile back.
What happened? How come? Bakit kailangan ganito pa kahirap...bakit ganito pa kasakit para sa lahat dahil sa isang tao?
"Gago talaga yun, matutuwa na sana ako sa kanya kung hindi nalang siya bumalik eh," he frustratedly ate many sticks of fries at the same time and drank his iced tea in barely three big gulps. "Sana hindi nalang siya bumalik in the first place kung aalis na naman siya," Jihoon nodded at what Jeonghan said, "...baka naman may rason siya? Malay mo kaya siya nagparamdam kasi...gusto niyang makausap si Wonu for the last time bago siya lumayas." kontra ni Jihoon, natahimik ang lahat. They both have a point.
Oo nga naman. Bakit siya lalapit kung aalis din siya? Nananadya ba siya? Sadista ba siya? Ganun ba kasayang manloko lalo na kapag tapat yung taong niloloko mo? Pero oo nga naman, baka gusto niya talaga makausap si Wonu bago siya umalis ulit. Baka nga may mahalaga siyang rason kaya iniwan niya silang lahat.
But nobody knows. To assume is the only thing they could do for now.
"...okay, why don't we eat these pancakes Chan cooked for us?" Vernon suggested, sinusubukan lang niyang pagaanin ang hangin sa paligid kahit wala naman talaga siyang talent, he just don't want things to get awkward lalo na't siya lang ang hindi belong sa barkada.
If only Soonyoung was here...siguro napagaan niya pa yung mood dito. Vernon thought. Dahil yung dalawa na masiyahin na sina Seungkwan at DK e wala sa wisyo, si Soonyoung lang ang suited for the job of lighting up the mood. "TARA CHIBOG MUNA!" As expected, nauna si Seungkwan. Everyone chuckled pero si Wonwoo, ayun walang pake. He got off his seat. He walked away and went to Dokyeom's bedroom na para bang bahay niya ito at papunta siya sa kwarto niya.
Once again, everyone went quiet as their eyes follow Wonu until he's gone. Nagtinginan sila. Some looked like they were thinking if they should follow or not, some looked like they were trying to figure a way to make that person cheer up, at ang iba naman nakapagdecide na talaga na hindi sila susunod o magbibigay ng words of encouragement.
"Channie, tawag ka na muna sa hotline ng pizza na binibili mo palagi, kung ilang box kaya niyong ubusin umorder ka. Ako na bahala kay Wonu," commanded Dokyeom. Everyone was amazed.
Kaya pala niyang magseryoso? They all thought. Hindi naman kasi ganito si Dokyeom. Unless it concerns something serious about his bestfriend Wonu, then he won't get so serious like this. Binasag niya ang katahimikan na bumabalot sa bahay. "Um, dito muna kayo, kainin niyo yang pancakes. Pinabili ko si Dino ng pizza," tumayo siya sa kinauupuan at saka sinundan si Wonwoo sa kwarto niya.
Tahimik na kumain ang lahat. Of course, Seungkwan has a stack of pancake, he is eating and talking at the same time, "Tingin niyo magiging okay ang usapan nung dalawa sa taas? Jeonghan hyung hindi mo ba sila susundan?" He said munching, saka sumubo ulit ng pancake.
"Teka nga bakit ako? Hayaan na natin si Dokyeom. Kaya niya yun. Besides, sila lang nagkakaintindihan at paniguradong hindi makikinig si Emo boi sa akin," They agreen and ate quietly. For some reason, alam na nila ang gagawin nung nagtinginan sila kanina.
They will stay quiet and listen to the two...
----
"Uy, Wonwoo." Dokyeom shook Wonu who is currently curved into a ball on Dokyeom's bed, his whole body covered with a plain blue blanket. "Hey, may pagkain sa baba, ayaw mo ba?" Dokyeom asked.
As soon as he heard Wonu's first soft sobs, napamura kaagad siya sa utak. Tangina. Dokyeom hates Wonwoo for being weak. Una palang na magkakilala sila, alam na niyang mahina si Wonwoo. Kaya nga sinamahan niya, because he thought Wow, someone needs me. Kailangan siya yung laging nandyan, but it can't be helped. Masyadong maraming gustong magprotekta sa kanya, so now they're a squad.
He is like a diamond to them. Precious. Someone of worth, someone to take care of. Someone that need to be protected.
To Dokyeom, he's a diamond you can't take your eyes off. Hindi mo talaga matatanggal ang mga mata mo sa kanya once you see through him. How pure he is, how wonderful, how beautiful, lahat na.
Wonwoo is a diamond but his heart is that of a limestone. Brittle. Madaling masira. Madaling mabasag. He has a fragile heart in spite of having a cold appearance.
Dokyeom hates Wonu being weak. Marami nang kinikimkim si Dokyeom. Maraming bagay. Tao lang rin naman siya, may problema.
Family issues, check.
Stressed sa school, check.
Burden of the secrets he is hiding, check na check.
Love life...hmmm. Let's see.
"Umiiyak ka na naman." Wonwoo didn't respond.
"Si Mingyu na naman?" He said in a softer voice. No response, again. Am I talking to a ghost?
"Bakit kasi-" he stopped himself. Baka tuluyan siyang magsuper nova.
Biglang umupo si Wonwoo sa kama saka natigil ang paghikbi. Dokyeom backed off a little. "...Dokyeom b-bakit ganon? Ang hirap niya alisin- ang hirap niya alisin Dokyeom." He cried again. Dokyeom rubbed his back.
"Shhh. Tahan na. Hindi siya maaalis Wonu. He won't." Dokyeom whispered. It's a fact. Kahit kailan, hindi maaalis lahat sa isip natin or sa puso. Hindi ka makakalimot. In the beginning everything will haunt you. "Sa una lang iyan mahirap, you'll suffer. Siguro hihilingin mo pa na sana hindi mo nalang siya nakilala. Hihiga ka gabi-gabi reminiscing what happened. How happy you were, how sad you've been, how lonely you feel...how painful it is to realize na wala na pala siya sa buhay ko and cheesy lines such as that. Iiyak ka for sure. Pero I tell you sa una lang yan," Dokyeom told Wonwoo casually, patting the hyung's head resting on his muscular shoulder. Wonu's mood is slowly getting better.
"...p-para namang may love life ka, eh wala naman." Lol. Wala daw. Pfft.
"Kahit bakla ako kapag kausap ko kayo, lalaki pa rin ako Wonu. May tao pa rin akong gusto ko," he excitedly shared. Humarap sa kanya si Wonu, his head's down, rubbing his eyes so that DK won't see his fresh face from crying.
"Hmm, si Soonyoung nga pala..." Wonu sighed. "Bagay kayo," he said. "Tutal may Seungcheol na ata si Jihoon so susuportahan ko kayo," he smiled and a second after, he is back to being sad. Dokyeom was speechless. "Nabroken ka na ba dati?" Tanong bigla ni Wonu.
"Oo," sagot naman ni Dokyeom.
"Paano ka nagmove on?" Nanlaki ang mata ni Dokyeom sa narinig.
"Wait- sinasabi mo ba na ayaw mo? Suko ka na kay Gyu?"
"...ewan ko. Siguro nagtatanong lang ako for future purposes...ayaw ko siyang bitawan. Ang hirap." Yes, mahirap talagang bumitaw lalo na kapag umaasa ka pa rin. "...wala naman akong magagawa kasi...siya lang gusto ko. Gusto ko pa rin siya kahit na pagpapakatanga na tawag sa ginagawa ko." Wonwoo said. Awkward silence covered the room. Hindi na alam ni Dokyeom ang sasabihin sa kaibigan.
"...uhm," he started. Napapanic na siya, anong sasabihin ko? Shit.
Before he could speak a word again, nagsalita na naman si Wonwoo. "Gusto ko siyang hanapin at tanungin sa kanya kung bakit. Maraming bakit at iba pang tanong," Wonwoo forced a smile. "Kabilang na yung tanong ko kung mahal niya ba ako o hindi, I can't figure him out." He made a grimace.
"Bakit kasi hindi ka nalang mag move-on?" Nagsimula na si DK magtaas ng boses. It pains him, really. To see his friend being so pathetic and dumb over something called love, it pains him. Kahit na siya rin mismo tanga.
"Bakit kasi hindi mo makita, hah Wonwoo?" His eyebrows were raised and his tone was like how his mother lectures him when he was a kid. "Wala na siya, mahirap siyang hanapin. Ano, lilibutin mo ba buong mundo para mahanap lang yung walangyang 'yon? May pamasahe ka? Iikutin mo ba buong Korea? Ichecheck mo ba bawat room ng mga condo units at apartments dito? Araw-araw ka bang pupunta sa train station para abangan siya? Babalik-balikan yung dating bahay nila kasi nagbabakasakali ka na baka bumalik na sila? Aasa ka pa rin?" Diin ni Dokyeom. " Bakit ba ayaw mo pa rin sumuko kahit na bugbog sarado ka na ng realidad?" His voice was full of pain. Nakatitig lang sa kanya si Wonwoo na parang paiyak na, kagat-kagat ang labi. "Paulit ulit ka nang sinasampal ng katotohanan, Wonwoo. Sobrang nasasaktan ka na, ayaw namin nun, hindi mo ba maintindihan?" He asked in a trembling voice. His fist were stiffly hanging on his sides. His face is shouting he is worried.
"...hindi mo alam kung gaano kasakit Dokyeom. Hindi ka pa naman kasi ata nasasaktan ng sobra-"
"Nasasaktan din ako, Wonu! Sa'yo!" Para bang naglock ang panga ni Wonu, hindi siya makapagsalita. "All of your friends are deeply, deeply hurt by your actions," An arrow of pain striked Wonu. But they seem normal, isip-isip niya.
" They were always...smiling and laughing. Paanong nasasaktan? 'Yan siguro iniisip mo. It's because we think smiling could help you reduce stress. Ayaw na naming dumagdag. Ayoko nang dumagdag sa stress mo. I'll speak in my perspective so listen," nilunok ni Dokyeom and sariling laway bago magsalita ulit. "Tingin ko ikaw nalang gumagawa ng dahilan para hindi ka makamove forward. You're clinging to that teeny tiny hope, that zero point zero zero zero zero zero zero at marami pang zero point one percent na babalik siya. Na babalikan ka niya." Nagpabuntong-hininga si Dokyeom ng napakalalim.
"For Pete's sake, hindi ka nga sigurado kung mahal ka nung tao..."
Strike two.
"I'm pleading Wonu." Lumuhod si Dokyeom sa harap ng nakayukong lumuluha na si Wonu. He clasped his hands together. "I'm begging you..." He grumbled. He didn't hide the tears falling down his cheeks. "Please...stop hurting yourself. It pains me. Ang sakit makita yung taong mahal mo na nasasaktan for fucking two years...every single day in that fucking two years. Please." He whimpered.
"...sorry. I'm sorry..." he embraced Dokyeom tightly between his arms. Dokyeom hugged him back.
"Wonu, please. Tama na...o-okay?"
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hindi ko manlang naramdaman na pati kayo nasasaktan ko, I'm sorry..." he said repeatedly.
"Shhh. Stop crying, you don't need to be sorry." He patted his back and kissed the side of his temple.
"...pero paano. Paano ko aalisin, tell me how...I want to." He tightened his grip to Dokyeom's shirt. Dokyeom was astounded and was silent.
"...use me." For a moment, the statement made Wonu confused. "Nandito ako."
Wonu was stunned. Dokyeom broke the silence.
"Hindi mo tinanong, ikaw first heartbreak ko," he said with an awkward chuckle, his hand at the back of his head, as if rubbing it. "Umamin na ako dati sayo bago kami umalis ni Chan papuntang Japan, kaso hindi mo
ako narinig," he grinned.
"...gusto mo ako? I mean yung ibang tipo ng gusto? Hala...hindi ko alam, hindi ko napansin," said Wonu in surprise, pinalo niya pa si DK to hide his embarrassment, Dokyeom nodded and smiled.
"Ano? Payag ka?"
"...hindi. Rebound? Ayoko. Masakit yun sa part mo," umiling si Wonu. He rejected Dokyeom's request to use him to forget Mingyu. Hindi lang kasi tama yun. At isa pa, masyadong mabait si DK.
Dokyeom thinks again on what Wonwoo could do to forget Mingyu. "Alam ko na. Why don't you focus on other things like finding a job? Music producer?" Wonu made an oh face.
" Also, let me rephrase my proposal a while ago. Wonu, pwede bang manligaw?" Hindi nagsalita si Wonwoo. Kasi diba, pareho lang yun? But Dokyeom read his face. "Don't worry. Kung kanina nagpapagamit ako, this time hindi. I know it's almost the same kasi isa lang naman goal nun and that is to capture you and make you forget him, na hindi naman mangyayari. So manliligaw ako and you don't need to answer me right away," Halata sa mukha ni Dokyeom na kinakabahan siya. "...one, two, kahit umabot pa ng ilang years ng paghihintay, okay lang. I'll make you in love again. And kung sasagutin mo ako, sana hindi dahil naaawa ka lang or out of consideration. Gusto ko sagutin mo ako kasi mahal mo na ako, kasi ready ka na ulit...kasi hindi na si Mingyu yung nasa puso mo kundi ako na, I'll make you happy, every day." there was gentleness in the way he said it.
Dokyeom is trying hard to make me happy. They are all trying hard. Wonu thought. "...pero sure akong matatagalan,"
"Wonu, kasasabi ko lang. Willing ako maghintay. Nakaya ko ngang tiisin na maghintay sa'yo simula umalis kami, natiis ko rin yung makita kayong masaya ni Mingyu palagi pagbalik namin. I've trained myself in being patient so I can endure it." Love is patient, I've always believe that after I saw through you. Dokyeom said at the back of his mind.
"...but you'll-"
"Shush. Wala nang pero-pero. Oo o hindi? Will you give me the permission? Are you willing to try it with me?"
He pressed his lips together. Hindi niya alam kung o-oo ba siya o hi-hindi dahil una sa lahat, baka hindi niya kayang mahalin si DK gaya ng pagmamahal sa kanya nito. Pangalawa, hindi niya alam kung anong tamang gawin, at pangatlo natatakot siya na magkamali ng desisyon.
Wonwoo, drop it. He encouraged himself. He looked straight in Dokyeom's eyes. "Sige. I'll...t-try." He said.
Pero binago niya kaagad.
"I will."
----
ILANG CHAPTERS NALANG-
OMG ANG HABA NITO HAHAHA 2804 words shoxx