A/N: Smut? Smut. And also drugs.
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Evening of April 17th
I'm speechless.
I mean, I really am.
My mouth is still hanging agape as I watch the spot where Lucy and a blonde girl outside the building last interacted.
I can't believe it. What the hell happened?
Lauren is just there; stiff as a board, which affirms that Lauren saw it too.
"Hey," she croaks out after a few moment of silence since Lucy's walked in. "Can you, uhh- wait here? I don't think I can stay there."
"Yeah, sure," I answer, not knowing what else to say.
"Uh, I'm just gonna take my stuffs first. Is that okay?" Her voice lacked emotion. It was impassive and impersonal. Despite the front she's putting herself on right now, it's pretty obvious that she's hurting right now.
I mean, who wouldn't.
"Yeah, alright."
Slowly, Lauren climbs out of the car and walks into the building.
I waited for quite a while - 57 minutes but who's counting - when she finally came back out. She had her suitcases and bags ready so I hopped out and helped her.
Once everything was done, we went back in and set the road.
"Where are you gonna go?" I ask cautiously, not wanting to set her off but in the same time, it's needed because I don't know where to drive to.
"I don't know," she answers defeatedly. I side-eyed her and saw a tear flow down her cheek.
Fuck.
She just got cheated on by her best friend whom she could trust with all her life. Not only did she lose her fiancé, she lost a decade worth of friendship.
"Do you wanna go to your parent's house?" I suggest.
"I don't think I could explain to them what happened to Lucy and I right now."
"Yeah, alright." What happened when she was gone inside the building? Did they break up or did Lauren just went packing and leave? Should I even ask her about this?
"We broke up," she discloses, answering my question. I just silently look over to her when she spoke. "I just came up and said that I saw her and Sarah."
I'm not stupid, I can put two and two together to know that Sarah's the girl Lucy kissed.
"She tried to explain everything and I just sat there. Everything she said came out of the other ear so I just said that we should break up. She knew better than to argue," She adds, her voice now wavering. I feel useless. I seriously don't know what to do to make her feel better.
So I just sat there, my knuckles white against the steering wheel, unable to form a simple comforting word as there's a lump on my throat.
So I just continued driving while she talked. "I packed everything and just walked out the door. I just-" a surprising heart wrenching sob interrupted her, filtering through my ears.
Fuck, I really need to do something.
I realized that Target is nearby and decided to park at the lot. I climbed out immediately once I parked, making Lauren confused for a minute as I ran to her side.
I just opened the door and brought her out, hugging her instantly. She broke down as I wrapped myself around her.
I held her, my two legs standing firm for the both of us when hers gave up on her.
"I'm sorry," I whisper through her ear, my hand caressing her hair consolingly. For what I'm sorry for is still unknown. Maybe I'm sorry that Lucy's such a jerk. Maybe I'm sorry the fact that I had driven Lauren the same time Lucy came. Maybe I'm sorry that Lauren is the one who got hurt from Lucy's infidelity.
Maybe I'm sorry that I let her go, making her drive right into Lucy's arms.
"It hurts, Camila," she says weakly. "It fucking hurts."
My heart broke when I heard that. I've been close to her for so long and this is the first time she sounds so weak.
She didn't even bother to shed a tear for the other guys she had dated, no matter how hurt she was.
"I don't know," she adds. "I was just so convinced that she was the one for me that I couldn't see the idea of her doing this to me."
God, if she wanted to hurt me, she might as well stab me in the heart with a knife and be done with it, it would hurt less. But no, she decided to talk about how she really wanted to marry her. How if it wasn't for Lucy cheating, they would've continued to be together while I'm just there on the side, waiting for something I can't get.
But I can't think about us right now. My mission as of right now is to make Lauren better; no matter how hard it would be.
We stayed in the parking lot until the sun finally set and the sky started getting dark. We didn't talk anymore after that. It was just me holding her until she finished crying out her frustrations.
I'm surprised I was strong enough to hold her that long. Thankfully, just as my leg starts to weaken, she stood up straight and wiped her tears.
"I think I'm fine now," she says, trying to put a good front yet again, as if she hadn't just cried for an hour in front of me.
"Are you sure?" I ask, to which she just nods in response. "Alright."
Just as I was about to climb back into the car. She interrupted, "Actually can I buy a few things inside for a minute?"
"Uh, sure," I reply skeptically. "Do you want me to go with you."
"Oh no, it's okay. Just wait in the car, it won't take long."
With that, she walks towards the building with me waiting. I don't know what to do with Lauren. Where would she stay?
I can't bring her home. My mom would kill me if I did. I can't bring her to her home. She doesn't want to go there.
So I decided to just bring her to a hotel. A different one, far from the one Lucy is currently residing at.
***
"Can you come with me?" She asks softly when we got near the hotel building. "I don't wanna be alone right now."
"Of course," I answer. "Whatever you need."
I drove to the front entrance and gave the car keys to the bellboy for them to park while the other carried Lauren's bags, ready to be put inside her hotel room.
We rode to her floor in silence. And although she barely talked since her little break down in the parking lot, her mind had been reeling for the past hour.
She seems apathetic, emotionless. Like her mind was somewhere else. Her eyes seems unfocused and she barely acknowledged me as we sat on the couch of her suite.
To which I understood completely.
It'll take some more time for her to open up again and I'm okay with that, I'm not gonna pry it out of her. I'll just be here whenever she needs me.
While she was silent and dazed on the couch of her temporary home, trying to gather your own messy thoughts, I did my own thinking.
Not to be a judgmental bitch or anything, but what the hell was wrong with Lucy? Why the hell would she cheat on Lauren of all people? She's worth so much more than anything in this world and Lucy had just thrown that away.
Why did Lauren always choose the wrong person? First it was Keaton, a heartless boy who only saw Lauren as a summer fling. Then it was Luis who broke up with her because he said that she doesn't make time for her when in truth, she tried so hard to be available for him; even when we had a busy schedule. Brad was a natural fuckboy from the start, so I don't quite understand why she chose him honestly.
It was off though. Because Lucy was different from the others. She was sweet and caring to Lauren. She was the last person I would think of if the word cheating crossed my mind so I can't exactly wrap my head around the memory of her kissing that girl.
But if I, a girl who isn't even that close to Lucy, think that way, I could only imagine how it would Lauren would feel right now.
In my book, Lauren seems better than she should. I just hope that it's the same in her mind.
But knowing Lauren, I'm pretty sure she's not.
She stood up abruptly and walked to the kitchen, taking out a container of ice cream and two spoons, bringing them over to the couch.
Silently, she gave the spoon to me and we began eating, sharing the cookies and cream flavored ice cream she had just bought from Target.
The TV was turned on, making distinct noises that fills the otherwise silent room. It was full of tension, more because of the unspoken words laying idly above our heads, waiting for one of us to crack.
And so I did.
"How are you feeling?" I ask, not knowing how else to start a conversation without bringing Lucy up.
"How do you think?" she snaps, making me fearfully grimace at her tone. She saw my reaction and soften her eyes. "I'm sorry, it's just that I don't really wanna talk about shit right now."
"You're right, I'm sorry for asking," I respond.
"Don't be," she says, putting the now empty container on the coffee table and stood up. "This calls for something else."
My eyes trail hers as she walks around the room to her bags near the door and retrieves a bag I could only guess as weed.
"You don't have to join me or anything, but I think I need this. Would you feel comfortable? Cause I can put it back if you're not."
"Oh no, it's alright. I've seen you done it, remember?" I chuckle at the memory. I was there when Lauren had her first try of it. We actually did it together as to make Lauren not feel bad for trying. It ended with me - bare naked -being on top of her while we made love. I didn't know why I didn't see that coming this time too.
She took rolling papers out of her suitcase and a lighter out of the shopping bag from Target.
Sitting back down beside me, she rolled her first blunt and lit up like a professional, making me wonder if this is something she does everyday. It seems that way.
Taking her first drag, she slump down on the seat and relaxed, exhaling smoke into the room.
Halfway through the blunt, she passed it to me, her eyes silently asking if I wanted a try.
Just like when we were 16, I didn't want to make Lauren uncomfortable smoking alone, so I took it and inhaled, coughing halfway due to my inexperience with drugs.
I've done them before obviously, but the last time I did it was with Lauren and you can imagine how long ago that was.
She laughs and took another drag, making the room more stuffy and humid. Her eyes begin to droop and more unfocused, letting me know that the drug has now hit her.
She pass it back to me and thankfully, after a few tries, I had gotten used to it. I felt lighter as the world spins around me. I now see why a lot of people seem to romanticize weed. I think I wanna take part of the 'legalize marijuana campaign'. I'm pretty sure Lauren's in it already.
"How about we do shotgun?" She asks suddenly, making my brow raise questioningly. What the fuck is a shotgun and why does that sound so deadly? She saw my reaction and explained. "I take a drag out of the blunt and I'll breathe it out to your mouth. That way, we'll both get the effect of it."
Before I could question some more, she took it and leaned to me, making my mouth open instinctively as she exhales the smoke into my mouth.
That's when the suddenly mood shift.
My heart beats fast when she stays close to me, making no move to lean back down. My hands begin to get clammy against my thighs and the room seem to get warmer by the second; and I don't think it's the effect of the drug.
It's more because of Lauren.
"You're making me hot," I whisper bluntly, the drug taking its course to my body, the filter in my brain now gone. She chuckles in response, still not backing down. Her smaragdine eyes, that were previously glued to mine, travels down to my now quivering lips.
"I could say the same shit." She leans closer, close enough to make me melt.
"Laur, don't," I whisper softly, her breath hitting my lips erratically. I could taste her lips from here; and it sure taste fucking amazing.
"Why not?" she asks softly.
"We can't, you just broke up with Lucy," I answer, but even as I said that, everything in me screams that I should shut the fuck up.
She's just so kissable. So fucking kissable.
"But I want you," she breaths, as if it answers every questions we have in the world, as if it could cure cancer. "Don't you want me?" Her voice cracks at the end, feeling insecure and vulnerable all at the same time now. Another shift in mood.
"You know I do."
"So why can't we do this?"
My mind wheeled around, searching for a response to give her, not finding anything. Not to mention that I'm beyond turned on right now, and everyone knows that lust shouldn't be the one thing that takes over our body.
But alas, I close the gap and we instantly connected. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally.
Everything felt right in the world and I feel so complete.
She completes me.
Our lips move together like pros, despite that we're both high out of our minds. Her lips felt familiar yet alien at the same time.
After two years of us being separated, I could finally taste the one thing I've craved since we last kissed.
Her hands move to my waist as she stood up. Instinctively, I follow suit, our lips still attached together.
They then move to my ass and pull me into her, silently telling me to wrap my legs around her, and I did.
She stumbled a few steps - but gained balance before we completely fell over - and walks into the bedroom, throwing me to the bed and hovers over me.
"Fuck, you're beautiful," she whispers before reattaching our lips.
"Have you seen yourself?" I whisper against her mouth, instantly rolling her over so that I'm now on top.
She squeals at the sudden move, laughing softly. I should've seen the red flag when she did. No one in their right mind would laugh during the same day they found out that their fiancé have been cheating on them.
But I ignored it. And that was my mistake.
My hands move to her dress and tugs at them weakly. Lauren knew what I meant and did it by herself, laying back down with only her undergarments.
My mouth moves to her neck, bitting her pulse point before I soothe it with my tongue. She gasps in response, her hands scratching my clothed back. She grabs the hem of my shirt and pulls them off of my body.
My hand that isn't supporting my weight scratches her abdomen seductively before moving to her clothed breast.
She sat back up for a few seconds to unhook her bra and toss it somewhere I couldn't even begin to care.
She lays back down while I stare at her naked body, smiling softly, taking my time to memorize this moment. A person as beautiful as her deserves all the time in the world.
She couldn't say the same about me though, because she pulls me into her and unhook my bra now. We continue our ministrations of kissing and touching each other until I decided to remove her panties and mine, along with my jeans.
Her kiss was hungry against my soft ones, another warning siren I should've listened to. But I was too enamored by her body. And so-so turned on that I became deaf to the deafening sound.
My hands travel down slowly towards her sex, stopping just bellow her stomach, causing her to groan in frustration.
I laugh and move one of my leg between her thighs so she has room to spread her legs.
I cup her sex making her body arch and her breasts to pop out more. I lean down and attach my lips to one of her nipples. She moans at the contact.
My hand moves to her clit, playing it the way I know she likes. And just in time, her hands move to my back and scratch it painfully.
I smirk, a newfound confidence now formed as her face contorts into one I could only define as pleasure. She was wet against my hand, so I decided to have mercy on her and insert a finger into her.
"More," she says hoarsely, making me more aroused that I already am. Her voice is already raspy, imagine if sex is attached to it.
I insert another finger and my palm massages her sex, making her cry out loud in pleasure.
I was so turned on that I start to move against her thigh, in need of friction and setting wet trails on Lauren's thigh as a result.
She notices it and her hand begin to travel to my wet core and plunge two fingers instantaneously, causing me to gasp.
Our hands move together, feeling so overwhelmed at the pleasure. My lips attach hers and she reciprocated immediately, my tongue moving into her mouth, exploring everything.
Our hands gradually move faster and faster until I feel my hand burns. But from the reaction I got from Lauren, it's definitely worth it.
I feel my climax coming the same time she clenched on my fingers.
"Come with me Laur," I whisper against her ear seductively, curling my finger that eventually made her to come undone against me, the same time I did.
Feeling everything at once, I said something I will forever hit my head with. "I love you."
I was just too confused and so fucking high. I was reminded of what we had that I had forgotten everything that had happened before this.
Her eyes few wide for a second before she kisses me. And I thought that kiss was somewhat a reply from what I had said. I didn't think of the possibility that she kissed me because she didn't want things to get awkward.
We talked normally then, making me think that everything was okay. We talked about our family, our jobs, but none of us mentioned Lucy.
After some time, we finally got tired and my brain decided to sleep, cuddled to Lauren. Her finger trails my tattoo, following the outline of the intricate rose. I felt protected and warm under her arm like I've never felt before.
Unfortunately, that cannot be said when I woke up because when I did, she was gone.
I look around to see if I wasn't just dreaming that night and came across a small note on the bedside table. Aside from the note, there was also a glass of what seemed like orange juice.
'Drink it, it'll make your throat feel better.
I'll call you later.'
Despite the obvious lack of emotion written on that letter, I couldn't help but feel the smile creeping on my face. I was willing to close one eye and just thought of the positive picture of it. She was being considerate for the drink and she also has plans to talk to me; even if it was just a call.
I should have known better than to believe her.. Because she never did.
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A/N
Oopsie.
So... don't hate me.
Seeing your comments on the last chapter made me hesitant to post this - more because most of y'all hate Lauren in this fic. But you wanted angst so I decided to just follow what I've planned since I first wrote this.
I don't know how long you guys want this fic to be but clearly it's not even close to done. So I guess tell me where I should end it?
I didn't proofread so sorry.
With that being said, thanks for reading this clusterfuck of a fic.