"One of the hardest things you will ever have to do, my dear, is to grieve the loss of a person who is still alive."
- My father's advice #1
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"Sebastian." His name was a soft prayer on her lips, waiting to be whispered.
He was here, right in front of her. And he would see right through her happy facade.
He was the only one she could never convince. She could fool everyone else about how happy and alive she was but not him. He always saw right through her.
He gave her a small smile, a small sad smile. "Chocolate cupcakes are still your thing, huh?"
Anisha gave a small nod but turned to walk away. Not in front of him. She couldn't act like she was okay. He would see the cracks and quite frankly, she just didn't have it in her anymore to pull it together and act as if she was okay.
She didn't want to cry either nor did she want to smile.
She wanted to give up. And so she was, slowly, day by day.
She was sick of it. Sick of the tears, sick of the heartbreak, sick of the pain, the fake laughs. She was sick of everything life had thrown her way. She could only take so much. And she had. There wasn't much left.
Sebastian gently reached out, turning her to face him, his hands placed softly on her shoulders.
"How are you Anisha?"
"I'm fine."
His green eyes darkened with worry. She was lying, anyone could see that.
This woman standing in front of him looked nothing like the girl he had fallen in love with some twenty years ago. It wasn't age, hell she wasn't even that old. But it was the toll life had taken on her.
The dark bags under her eyes showed the lack of sleep. The emptiness in her eyes showed the pain she had suffered. She was frail and unhealthy.
And he knew there was nothing he could do to help her.
He tried once again. "How are you actually and I know it's not fine?"
"Let go Sebastian. I don't know why you feel the need to ask me how I am more than once. Especially since I just told you I'm doing great. Besides, I'm sure Andrew wouldn't appreciate you trying to talk to his wife."
"His wife is also my best friend and my ex-girlfriend."
"I think the key word there was ex. Now if you'll excuse me, my daughter is waiting."
She pulled away, tears brimmed her eyes. No, she begged herself not to cry. Not here, not where everyone could see.
Two steps.
Curse her fucking fate.
First him, now her.
She took two steps and came face to face with Andrew's lover.
First Sebastian and now Amanda.
Anisha could see the wide smirk plastered on Amanda's face, as if she was trying to show she had won some prize. And she had, hadn't she?
Amanda had managed to pull Andrew right out of Anisha's grasp.
But standing there, looking at the woman her husband seemed to care more about than his own wife, the wife he lawfully wedded and claimed as his, anger arose in Anisha.
Anisha was fucking sick of it. Of all of it.
She was so fucking sick of it. And she was more than done with allowing people to walk all over her.
Honestly, she didn't have enough strength anymore. And whatever time she did have left, she didn't want to cry.
She spent more than enough time crying and cursing her days.
Not anymore. Never again.
"Anisha, how nice to see you."
Anisha looked up with a fire blazing in her eyes. They would pay. She would make them pay. Andrew would regret the day he chose another woman over his wife and Amanda would regret the day she messed with Anisha's family.
"I'm not sure what's nice in seeing the wife of the man you're fucking."
Amanda's smirk faltered, she had definitely not expected that response.
"Well, I mean it's nice to know that he plans on leaving you soon."
Anisha's eyes softened in pain. She could pretend that the things around her didn't bother her. But they did. They fucking did and she hated it.
She hated that the fact that he still had the power to tear her apart. Even when she thought the pain and heartbreak couldn't get worse, he always found a way to tear her apart even more, to hurt beyond what she could endure.
"Pity isn't it. He's leaving you soon, for me. And then he wants to get married and try for baby, our baby."
Normally, Anisha was the type of woman who looked for the good in others. She always believed that each person had some bit of goodness in their heart.
But standing there in the corner of the fall, Anisha realized how wrong she had been. Life had proven over and over to her that some people simply just didn't care about anyone else but themselves.
And Amanda was one of those people.
Anisha's brown eyes settled on the woman in front of her, the woman who had destroyed her marriage, the woman who had ruined her life.
Her voice was low but deadly as she spoke. They would pay. They would all pay. "Congratulations Amanda. You two really are good for each other. The lying bitch and the untrusting bastard."
Amanda furrowed her eyebrows, clearly confused as to what was going on. Often during their encounters, Anisha would back down, almost afraid to even dare look at her. Surely, sometime must be wrong.
Maybe it was alcohol. But Amanda knew Anisha wasn't a drinker.
So where the hell was this confidence coming from?
Anisha was breaking apart on the inside. He was going to leave her. She begged herself to hold it together.
Time wasn't on her side, she knew that. And she was going to let Amanda have it today.
"But let's clear a few things, shall we? First of all, he won't be leaving me. I'll be the one leaving him soon, for good. So you don't need to worry about that."
"Second, even if he does marry you, always remember you were the other woman and you will always be the second option. I was his first wife, I was the first woman he ever slept with and I will always hold a special place in his heart. We both know, that deep down, a part of him will always love me. Because when you love someone, you don't forget about them, no matter how much you want to."
"And even if I'm not there Amanda, you will always be his second choice. He may not get along with me but we both know how much he loves Ryan and Mira. And at the end of the day, they will be his priority, even over any children you give him."
Anisha turned to leave. She could see Mira sitting at the table, playing with her doll and waiting for her mother to return with jelly beans.
Anisha looked at Amanda one last time, the fire in her eyes fading. The corners of her lips tugged upwards as she stared at a baffled Amanda.
"Oh and also, I don't know what lies you've been telling him. But remember, Amanda, the truth doesn't stay hidden forever. One day the truth will come out. That day may be too late but one day, he will realize what the truth is. And when that day comes, I hope you're ready. You ruined my life. You ruined my marriage, you broke apart my family, you took away every ounce of happiness from me. But Amanda, life doesn't work like that. You can't ruin another person's happiness and then expect your life to be all sunshine and rainbows. This will come around to you. And when it does, I really hope you're able to look at yourself in the mirror."
Anisha quickly turned to walk away and her facade fell. Heavy teardrops collected and began falling.
Was he really leaving her? Why should she even care, especially when she knew she was leaving soon, that too for good?
"Anisha."
She looked up. Sebastian.
Pity. She hated pity. She hated it. Hated it. Hated it. She hated when people, especially Sebastian, looked at her with pity.
"Damn it, Sebastian. You just don't get what leave me alone means."
He smiled softly and hesitantly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into an embrace.
"Anisha."
"No please. I really don't want to talk about it." She pulled away and wiped her tears. The fake smile plastered on her face once again. Talking a hold of his hand she pulled him to the dance floor. "Dance with me Sebastian."
Anisha hated dancing. But she just wanted to be held. She just wanted to be wanted. She wanted someone to love her, someone to tell her that they did love her, to look at her like she meant something to them.
And Sebastian was that person.
"I'm sorry for everything."
"It's all in the past Sebastian. Some things are better left in the past."
Their past wasn't that special. He had met her on the first day of Chemistry Lab at University. With the same career focus and dreams of becoming doctors, they instantly clicked, not to mention the various chemistry labs they struggled over.
One year, three months, twenty days and six hours. That was how long they had dated. Some stupid mistakes here and there, fights over unimportant topics and regretful words tore them apart. He had been at a low point in his life, his little sister fighting with cancer. But no matter what, Anisha was always there. She always woke up at midnight to pick him from some bar. She always tried to push him to go to school, to not give up. She would go with him every Saturday to visist his sister at the Los Angeles Children's hospital. She was always there. And maybe that's all their relationship had been. A sort of comfort for the both of them.
But after a while, he knew he needed to let her go. She deserved someone far better. Someone who could treat her the way she deserved to be treated. And that decision was one he regretted to this very day.
Because while she had moved on, he never could.
He looked down at Anisha, his arms wrapped around her. How he wished she was his.
Instantly, a frown etched onto his face as he stared at Anisha.
"Anisha, you look pale. Did you..."
"Yes." She hissed, instantly pulling away. Not this, she didn't want to talk about that. "I took the fucking pills if that's what you're trying to ask."
Sebastian shook his head softly as Anisha closed her eyes and rested her head on his chest.
"Anisha, there's another doctor who could maybe help. I was talking to him on the phone last week."
"It's too late Sebastian. Please stop making it harder than it is."
"You can try. Please. Just make an appointment."
"Who are you trying to fool Sebastian? I didn't struggle through Medical School for nothing. We're both doctors. We, especially you since this is your specialty know that I'm sick and I'm not getting better. Be thankful I'm still taking the pills to ease the pain."
Anisha looked down, she didn't want this. She didn't want any of it. "This is life, Sebastian. Some things are simply out of our control."
The resolve in her voice, she had accepted this. This was her fate and no matter how much she wanted to cry about the unfairness of it, it was what it was. She had accepted it.
He pulled her closer to him and gently placed his lips on her forehead. She looked up and smiled softly at him, a real smile.
And so they swayed slowly across the dance floor, Anisha gently tucked between his arms. It was just the two of them in the ballroom, dancing the night away. Exactly like it had been twenty years ago.
And in that moment, Anisha found herself wishing she had fallen in love with Sebastian instead.
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OMG an update so soon?! I know, I know. I feel very accomplished lol. I wrote this chapter instead of studying for my Chem Midterm. But then who really wants to learn about Equilibrium and Cell Potentials lol.
Next chapter will be on April 22 because I have midterms this week and next so yea. Oh and next chapter is also in Andrew's POV I think. I'm not sure yet.
Yea I don't really have anything else to say. That it. Have a great day loves. Until the next update then.