*
~Ria's POV~
I was in a grand saree that was a beautiful shade of off white, with golden hem works. My ears weighed down by heavy gold dangling and my hair was let down on its voluptuous length. I had my knees pulled up against my chest, which was a tough feat when you are wearing a sari that took three maids to pull up into meticulous arrangement.
I sniffled as I used my hands clanging with bangles to wipe the wet tear trails on my rosy cheeks. It was my second week away from US and I feel like I am dead on the inside.
When I woke up after the entire drama, I was in Zoey's cold and dark apartment with Aaron dozing off in a recliner. It was already dark outside. I tried to ignore the hollow feeling inside me and pushed away any of the recollections of yesterday. I had gone to the shower noiselessly; scrubbing off any trace of him on me till my skin blistered red, my tears mixing with the water. When I came out, Aaron was dressed in a t-shirt and his hair wet from the shower as he watched Captain America on reruns. I didn't want to speak with him and I directly went to open a cabinet in search of something to eat.
I found a ramen and put it on stove when Aaron heard the ruckus I made and came over to the kitchen. I still refused to face him but he was one persistent man.
"Ria?"
"What?" I asked and I immediately cringed. The lack of use of my voice made it sound like rusted metal scratching each other. But he wasn't bothered.
"I, uh, I called your brother." He informed me, waiting for me to burst down to flames or something. "I told him what happened and he isn't exactly happy."
"I wonder why." I couldn't help that sarcasm as I fished out the ramen into two bowls.
"He would be coming here soon...so, I think it is better I leave." He told me but took the yellow ceramic bowl from me anyway and I swung myself into the countertop before I devoured my ramen from a similar blue bowl.
I was so deep in my food and misery that I didn't notice that Aaron was staring at me oddly. "What is it?" I asked him irritated. His mere gaze on me easily pushed me over the edge. "No. Its just--- Are you in pain?" He asked me, his brows furrowed as he eyed me suspiciously.
I took a deep breath to steady my emotions which were all over the place and shook my head. "It's not my body that hurts." I admitted lowly. I watched him from the corner of his eyes and saw him grimace. I knew he was feeling guilty as much as I did.
My grief was profound, a constant dull ache in my chest that seemed to carry the weight of my mistakes. I lost my virginity and I didn't even know how my first time was. I hurt someone I loved when I promised that I would heal his wounds. I had lost every bit of self-respect that I had held over myself and I felt lower than a two-dollar-hoe.
Overall, I was a wreak.
Aaron finished his ramen quietly and placed it on the draining board. "Well, I have to get going." He informed me in a grave voice as he tunneled his fingers through his still wet hair. "I am sorry for what I have done, although I didn't do it on purpose. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but I am asking for it anyway. Hope you can forgive for making you feel like shit, taking your virginity, making you lose the love of your life and ruining your life. Wow that sounded worse than I thought."
I contemplated his words for a while in silence before I remembered something. I left him standing in the kitchen as I went to the living room and came back with my phone. He eyed me curiously as I took it's the sim-card from it and handed it over to him with a sad smile.
"When Rahul comes, he would most probably take me back home. Then papa will then probably marry me off in record time. I-I don't want this with me...I c-can't..." I took a moment to control an onslaught of tears, "If Zoey call me through this number, t-tell her thank you for all that she had done for me and sorry that I couldn't say this in person to her." Aaron had stared at me for the longest time before he said, "I will."
And then he had walked out of the apartment just moments before Rahul came in with his usual green travel bag to take me back home. I wasn't surprised at who was waiting back at my home on my arrival.
Vicky.
So the rest is self-explanatory.
Today was my engagement with him. And I am to become his wife in a week. You would wonder how one can whip up a marriage in just a month? You'd be surprised. The thing was my papa was already prepared for my marriage the moment Vicky came to him telling that he wanted to marry me which was something three months ago.
Rahul stood by me through all the highs and lows. He slept in my room, holding me close so that I wouldn't wallow in my negative thoughts all alone. He let me drench his t-shirt with my tears as I cried on his shoulders every night.
For these past twelve days, I had gone through absolute hell.
It is harder than it seems when you lose someone who you loved so deep and your self-esteem had taken a dive to Mariana's trench. I struggled with my self-worth and self-respect; many a times I even contemplated death. I couldn't bear to think about a life without Adam and I suffered from restless nights as I had always listened to his voice for the past eight months before my sleep. Apart from my withdrawals, the immense amount of guilt and a feeling that I don't deserve him just made me miserable. Day after day, the amount of concealer I put under my eyes increased and I had retreated to being a shell off who I was.
I didn't care anymore of what became of my life. Everything I had cared for had gone anyway. My freedom, my wishes, my humility, my virginity and my love. What do a girl has to live for now anyway?
I would live my life as a trophy wife and have many children, grow old and then die.
Even if I am married to Vicky, my heart would never be his. My heart will always be Adam's even when he hates me now, probably loathes my mere existence. It took everything in me not to turn about in the airport and run to where he was, begging him to take me back. But I knew that there was no use. I had a little self-preservation in me to save myself from the sure rejection which would ruin me even worse. I love him wholeheartedly, bearing in mind that I don't deserve him. He deserves someone better, someone who was less crazy and who has a sane mind not to make stupid mistakes in life.
He would live happily with his future wife and children, unaware of me who would always love him on the either side of the world.
*
This is getting worse and worse. Don't worry; this will be the last chapter(s) with misery and despair. So that being said, CHEER UP!
As a peace offering, What about a spoiler?
HERE WE GO. Adam and Ria might have given up but that doesn't mean Aaron did. He is a sly thinker and he has answers to all bends in life. What do you think he is going to do now? *wiggles eyebrows*
AH. So wait till next update to know what he is up to. I promise I will make it quick.
Loveya! VOTE COMMENT and SHARE if you want more!!!!
Siya :P
@ʴN