Lauren: Where are you!?
Lauren: I don't like waking up without you here.. You can't just leave like that..
Camila: You looked so tired, I wanted to let you sleep a little longer
Camila: I went to get marshmallows
Camila: Apparently Ally thought 5 bags would be enough.. But there is six of us and two nights.. So like no Ally it's not enough
Lauren: Wait.. We're still camping?
Camila: Um yes? Why wouldn't we be camping?
Lauren: I don't know.. Maybe because of what happened yesterday
Lauren: Or the fact that we spent half the night in the hospital getting your system flushed clean of the citalo-whatever it's called
Camila: We are still going
Lauren: I don't know if it's a good idea
Camila: Lauren..
Lauren: We will talk about this when you get here
Lauren: Which will be when?
Camila: 30 seconds? Haha
Camila: I'm in the driveway
---
"I thought you went to get marshmallows?" Lauren asked with raised eyebrows as she eyed Camila who was waddling up the driveway attempting to carry six or seven grocery bags. "Camz, you know you could have made a couple trips right? You didn't have to bring-"
"Help," Camila panted as she made her way up to the door where Lauren was holding back her laughter and leaning against the doorframe.
Lauren reached out and took some of the bags, turning and carrying them into the kitchen, Camila in tow behind her. "Just marshmallow huh?"
"Yes, the marshmallows are in one if these bags somewhere," Camila shrugged as she placed the bags on the kitchen counter and started to rifle through them. "And more graham crackers and more chocolate and then I got caramel squares because I read somewhere that you can add them to s'mores," Camila said as she pulled things from the bags and started to toss them into a large red cooler she had pulled up from the basement earlier that morning while Lauren hoisted herself onto the counter and watched with an amused grin. "I also got firestarter things and some lighters because I don't wanna be attempting to start a campfire by smacking together rocks or sticks or whatever it is cave people did."
"Cave people?"
"Yes. I didn't want to assume the gender of who started the fires."
"Okay," Lauren laughed, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. "Are you sure we should be going? We can postpo-"
"We're going Laur," Camila said sternly, turning to look at Lauren with serious eyes. "It's your birthday. We are going."
"It's know, but-"
"No buts," Camila said stepping over the bags Lauren had put on the floor, so she was now standing in front of the soon to be 19 year old. Camila placed her hands on Lauren's thighs and leaned up on the tips of her toes for a kiss that Lauren happily gave her. "Look, I get you think I should rest, but I need to get away from the city, I need to go do something and I talked to Dr. Murray this morning and she said fresh air and a new perspective might do me some good."
"You're absolutely sure?" Lauren asked, running both hands through Camila hair, pushing it back so she could get a good look at Camila's eyes.
Camila sighed and nodded and Lauren pursed her lips, the two of them entering into an unspoken staring contest, but Camila was the first to break when she saw tears forming on Lauren's waterline. "Hey," Camila whispered, reaching up and wiping the skin under Lauren's eyes with the pads of her thumb. "What's wrong?"
"Your eyes were so empty yesterday," Lauren swallowed. "I thought you jumped Camz, I looked up and you were gone and I thought, I thought you-"
"I'm right here," Camila said pushing herself against the counter and between Lauren's legs. "I'm sorry you had to see any of that, I am so sorry that I put you through that, that I made you think I was gonna jump or had jumped, I didn't know what was happening, I wasn't me and-"
"I know."
"You brought me back," Camila smiled, tilting her head to get Lauren to look at her, her head having dropped when Camila was talking. "You did that for me, you know? I thought... Your voice, your words. You. You brought me back."
"What if I hadn't been there?" Lauren whispered, a mixed lace of anger and hurt wrapping around her words.
"But you were and that's all that-"
"It's not all that matters," Lauren said pushing Camila back just enough to allow herself to hop down off of the counter. "Camz, you scared the fucking hell out of me yesterday and I know it wasn't you, I know that it was a side effect of the medication, but what if it happens again with the new medication and I'm not there to help you."
Camila pursed her lips and grabbed her phone from her pocket, putting it on speaker as she dialled Dr. Murray's number, Lauren watching her curiously.
"Dr. Murray speaking," an older woman's voice came through the speaker and Camila sighed.
"Hi, it's Camila," she said quickly. "That thing we talked about this morning, can we do it? But like, maybe not right now, I just need to take a week, July second would work best for me if that's possible."
There was shuffling of papers on the other end and then the sound of fingers typing on a keyboard, a small silence and then Dr. Murray's voice, "The second is fine, it will be two weeks, are you sure you want to do this? Once the decision is made you can't go back, you'll have to follow through."
"Will I be able to get a day pass at some point?" Camila asked, causing Dr. Murray to let out a breath of hard air into the phone.
"I can't promise anything, but it is a possibility, yes."
"A possibility is all I need," Camila said looking up at Lauren, who's face showed immense confusion. "I'm going camping this weekend, I already told you that this morning, but I will come in and see you on Monday and we can talk more about this, if that's okay?"
"It is," Dr. Murray replied. "I will put through the request today if this is something you want," she said seriously.
"I want it, I need to do this," Camila said taking a deep breath and closing her eyes.
You could almost feel the smile in Dr. Murray's face through the phone when she spoke, telling Camila that she was proud of her and that she would see her on Monday. Camila thanked the woman and hung up the phone after a quick goodbye and then moved to place her phone on the counter behind Lauren.
"What was that about?" Lauren asked, turning to face Camila. "What's gonna be two weeks, Camila what's going on?"
"I'm checking into a mental health facility for two weeks," Camila said, running a nervous hand through her hair, watching Lauren's eyes widened. "The only way I can make sure I'm safe, the only way I can make sure nothing like that happens again is to go there so I can be monitored twenty-four hours a day while they figure out my medications and do the adjustments. They can help if I have side effects and they will be there if I spiral out again, they have therapy sessions and coping workshops and Doctors that can help me while my body and my head adjust to the medication."
"Camz, I-"
"I need to do this, for myself and for you," Camila whispered. "I can't do this to you anymore," she said motioning to Lauren's current state of puffy eyes and her tired disposition. "They can help, it's two weeks and I don't want to be away from you for two weeks, I don't want to miss Ally's birthday, I don't want to sleep in a hospital for two weeks alone where I don't know anyone, and I don't want to be monitored like I'm some kind of fucking crazy person, but more than that, I don't want to hurt you and you're right, what if you're not there next time?" Camila said seriously, trying to read Lauren's expression, "This is the best option, the only option. I don't want to leave you, not like that. I'm not gonna be responsible for breaking you."
There was a thick silence around them as Camila watched Lauren and Lauren stared at Camila, but it was quickly cut short when Lauren grabbed Camila's waist and pulled her in, their bodies flush against one another as Lauren kissed Camila rough and hard, her arms wrapped around her tightly, mumbled thank you's vibrating between their mouths and Lauren's tears falling between them.
---
Ally: How many cars are we taking?
Camila: Uh, two?
Ally: Okay
Camila: Lauren and I can drive and either you can come with us or Normani and Dinah
Ally: I think I'd rather go with you guys, Dinah and Mani are so embarrassing
Camila: Aw you don't think Lo and I are embarrassing? That's so sweet!
Ally: I didn't say that
Ally: You're just slightly less embarrassing
Camila: Well then..
Ally: How are you feeling?
Camila: I'm okay, there's some stuff I need to fill you in on, maybe sometime this weekend we can go for a walk and chat a bit?
Ally: Of course! You know I'm always here for you
Camila: I'm sorry for scaring you yesterday
Ally: I'm just glad you told us where you were
Camila: Thank you, for everything. You're a great friend Al
Camila: I love you
Ally: I love you too
Ally: Hannah and I are just packing the coolers and we are gonna head over to Lauren's
Camila: See you both in a bit
Ally: You sure will
---
Camila: GET YOUR BUTTS OVER HERE
Camila: LOLO'S BIRTHDAY WEEKEND STARTS NOW
Dinah: We are just finishing packing and we will head over
Dinah: Normani is bringing her bongo drum
Camila: Normani knows how to play the bongos?
Dinah: No. No she does not
Camila: Hahahahahaha
Dinah: How are you holding up, Chancho?
Camila: I'm alright..
Dinah: You're sure you're up for the trip?
Camila: I'm sure
Camila: I wouldn't go if I wasn't
Dinah: Yes you would
Dinah: You're stubborn like that
Camila: True
Camila: But I'm okay, I promise
Dinah: Pinky promise?
Camila: Pinky promise
Dinah: Okay, we will see you soon
Camila: See you soon, Cheechee
---
Papa J: DO NOT LOSE MY DAUGHTER IN THE WOODS
Camila: I do what I want
---
Mama S: DO NOT LET KARLA CLIMB TREES
Mama S: She will think she can do it and then you'll have to call the firefighters into the middle of the woods to come and get her down
Mama S: Or she'll fall out
Lauren: Hahahaha
Lauren: I promise I will not let Camz climb the trees
---
Mama C: Bring bug spray
Mama C: Lauren always forgets it and the mosquitos love her
Camila: Bug spray, check
---
Pops: Make sure my daughter eats more than just s'mores this weekend. That goes for you too
Pops: S'mores are not a meal, they are a snack
Lauren: But.. S'mores
Pops: But.. Actual food
Lauren: Fine
---
Normani: Are we stopping for coffee before we go or should I pick some up on my way over?
Lauren: I think we are stopping
Normani: Sounds good
Normani: How's Camila?
Lauren: She's okay
Normani: Okay.. You'll let us know if she isn't?
Lauren: I will, I promise
Normani: Good..
Normani: Now.. How are you?
Lauren: Still a little shaken up
Normani: Understandable.. Do you wanna talk about it?
Lauren: Not right now
Normani: I'm here if and when you need me
Lauren: Thanks
Normani: I mean it Laur, Camila is dealing with some heavy shit and by association, so are you.. If you need anything, don't hesitate
Lauren: I love you Manibear
Normani: I love you too!!!
---
Ally: We are heading over soon
Ally: I wanted to see how you were doing though
Lauren: I'm okay.. Just worried about Camila
Lauren: And you
Ally: Me?
Lauren: Yesterday you said you used to take the medication Camz was taking.. I didn't know that
Lauren: I didn't know you have depression and I feel like a shitty friend now
Ally: Don't. I'm fine. Honest, I was diagnosed in like.. 7th grade, I went through the hard part already, which is what Camila is doing right now
Ally: The worst part is finding a medication that works
Lauren: How come you didn't tell me?
Ally: Because it doesn't define me
Ally: It's under control, has been for a very long time
Lauren: If you ever need me, I'm here for you. You know that right?
Ally: Of course I do
Lauren: Okay.. Good
Ally: Look, if you have questions.. Ones you don't want to ask Camila.. Talk to me okay
Ally: It's different for everyone, but I can at least give you a little insight and ease the worry the best I can with the information and experience I have
Lauren: That means a lot, thank you
Lauren: And thank you for telling me
Ally: You needed to know
Ally: Camila needed to know
Lauren: Camila knows?
Ally: Yup, I told her the day she got her prescription
Ally: She was feeling really crappy about having to take it and I wanted her to know she wasn't alone
Lauren: You're an amazing friend Ally
Ally: I could say the same about you.. Hang in here Laur, things will get better
Lauren: I hope so
Ally: I know so
Ally: I am Allysus after all
Lauren: Hahaha hurry up and get over here so I can give you a big hug
Lauren: I wouldn't have been able to get through yesterday without you
Ally: You're stronger than you realize, Laur
---
"Camz," Lauren laughed loudly, leaning back against a tree. "Just let me help, please? This is killing me."
Camila glanced up at Lauren, rope tangled around her as she stood in a pile of tent poles and what was supposed to be the tent. "No, your Dad told me how to do it, I just," Camila said looking down at all the parts and pieces on the ground. "Need to remember."
Dinah and Normani's tent had been pitched an hour ago and the two stalked off into the woods to look for sticks long enough to roast marshmallows on, while Ally and Hannah's was up as well and they had gone to find enough wood for the campfire they were planning to have when the sun went down. That was over an hour ago and looking at her watch, Lauren realized Camila had been struggling for over two.
"Camila, seriously, it's gonna get dark soon and if you don't let me help," Lauren said through her laughter as she looked at the confused pout on Camila's face. "We're gonna be sleeping outside, quite literally under the stars."
"But," Camila tried to protest, taking a step forward, her foot catching on the rope or the tent or something as she fell forward into a heap, Lauren holding her breath as Camila missed, just barely, being impaled on one of the tent poles. Letting out a small cry of frustration, Camila sat up, throwing her hands down by her side rather childishly as she pouted, looking up at Lauren helplessly. "Fine, you can help."
Lauren made her way over and helped Camila untangle herself from the mess and Lauren pressed a kiss to Camila's forehead as she did so. "You're cute, babe," Lauren laughed, giving Camila her sweetest smile.
"I don't want to be cute, I want to be outdoorsy and-"
"Camz, you're more Netflix and books than you are tents and dirt," Lauren stated, standing up and helping Camila to her feet. "Look, why don't you go pull the coolers over there," she said pointing to where a lone picnic table was sitting. "Let me do this and then we can get this weekend started."
"Do you want a drink?" Camila mumbled, along with some grumbles about not being able to put up a stupid tent for her stupid girlfriend on her stupid birthday and Lauren just laughed louder.
"Did you just call me stupid?"
"Well, I mean, you're not like stupid, stupid," Camila backtracked sheepishly causing Lauren to laugh again while she shook her head, Camila letting out a huff as she stomped away.
"I could use a drink, thanks babe," Lauren called out before turning back to the mess Camila had unintentionally made. Lauren got to work, listening to the sounds of Camila dragging coolers across the dirt and humming a song to herself that Lauren didn't recognize, she was in her own world as she finally finished, unzipping the door to the tent, startled by Camila who was standing behind her.
"Seriously?" Camila groaned. "You got that stupid thing up in fifteen minutes? You watched me struggle for two hours knowing you could have done it in a fraction of the time?"
"I offered to help," Lauren shrugged, turning and facing Camila. "But you being stubborn and hard headed refused to listen to me."
"I am not hard headed or stubborn,"Camila protested, but Lauren just raised her eyebrows, Camila recoiling on the statement almost immediately. "You're mean, I don't like you anymore."
"I don't need you to like me," Lauren laughed, reaching to take one of the bottles of Smirnoff from Camila's hands. "As long as you love me, which you do because I'm awesome and I just gave you a roof over your head for the night."
"You're impossible-"
"Tell them I was happy and my heart is broken-"
"Lauren Michelle, don't you dare start singing when I'm trying to be mad at you," Camila scoffed, fighting back a smile as Lauren kept going.
"All my scars are open, tell them what I hoped would be," Camila cracked a small smile as Lauren ran over to the picnic table and jumped on its top, her bottle of Smirnoff acting as a microphone. "Impossible, impossible, impossible, impossible. Ooh impossible, impossible."
"I'm just gonna go put our stuff in our tent," Camila giggled, turning to walk back to the car to retrieve their bags, cut off when Lauren jumped off the table and ran towards her. "Lauren!" Camila yelled out as Lauren wrapped her arms around Camila's waist and picked her up off the ground, spinning her around while Camila laughed. Really laughed and Lauren kept spinning, ignoring the dizziness in her head, because Camila was laughing and Lauren loved the sound. "Put me down," Camila demanded through her laughter and Lauren hesitated, but complied.
"Hi Camz," Lauren smiled once the girl was back in the ground, facing her. Camila narrowed her eyes and scrunched up her nose, Lauren taking the opportunity to lean in and peck a quick kiss to the tip of the girl's nose.
Camila huffed and raised her eyebrows in a challenging manner, "That all you got, Jauregui?"
Lauren watched as Camila winked and then took off into the trees, bags forgotten in the car as she took off after her, "Hey! Get back here!"
She was no where that could be found, Camila had gone through the trees and disappeared and Lauren leaned against a tree, for a second letting her mind come to terms with the fact that Camila may have actually taken a wrong turn and gotten herself lost, but before she could panic at the thought, Camila jumped out of nowhere scaring Lauren half to death, "Boo!" Camila laughed, Lauren's hand flying up to her chest. "Oh my God, I got you so good, you should see your-"
Camila's words were cut off by Lauren's lips on hers, Lauren's tongue slipping into her mouth and Lauren pushing Camila up against the tree while her hands fumbled with the button on Camila's jeans. "You're in trouble now, Cabello," Lauren whispered hotly, moving her mouth up to Camila's ear.
Camila's head tipped back, hitting the trunk of the tree when she felt Lauren's hand slip into her jeans and past the elastic waistband of her underwear, teasing the folds that were getting wetter with every touch. "Laur," Camila moaned as Lauren's mouth worked it's way down her neck.
"What do you want, Camz?" Lauren questioned, but Camila didn't answer with words at first, instead she pressed her mouth to Lauren's as her own hand found its way into the sweatpants Lauren was wearing, tracing the same pattern against Lauren that was being traced on herself.
"Together," Camila moaned out into Lauren's mouth as she pushed a single digit into Lauren, causing the girl's breath to hitch at the moment of contact.
Lauren complied with Camila's demand as she too slipped one finger inside of the girl, then another, while Camila did the same, her action picking up speed, causing Lauren's knees to buckle just slightly. "Fast- oh," Lauren hissed as Camila added a third finger that Lauren hadn't been expecting, a flash of white light causing her to bury her face in Camila's neck as she curled the two fingers she had inside of the girl against her contracting walls.
"Laur- fuck, harder," Camila moaned as they both moved at the same pace, panting and sweating as Lauren pushed Camila harder against the tree in the middle of the woods, bringing her knee between Camila's legs for added pressure. "I'm so-"
"Close," Lauren whimpered, finishing Camila's sentence as she pushed their mouths together, the two of them letting go at the same time.
"Te amo," Camila mumbled into Lauren's mouth as her hand slowed it's movements.
Lauren pulled back, a smirk on her face as she removed her hands from between Camila's legs, bringing her fingers to her mouth as she sucked them clean, Camila's eyes dark as she watched Lauren, her own hand finding it's way out of Lauren's sweatpants and into her mouth, the two refusing to break eye contact, until Lauren tugged at Camila's hand and brought it to her own mouth to finish the job, her tongue working it's way around Camila's fingers.
"Eres tan jodidamente caliente," Camila breathed out just as Lauren took Camilas fingers from her mouth and connected their lips one more time.
"Lauren? Camila?" Dinah's voice rang out through the trees, "Where the hell are- oh!"
Lauren and Camila looked up to see Dinah and Normani standing off to the side, eyes wide as they took in their friends faces and Dinah's eyes fell to the open button on Camila's shorts.
"Did you just fuck against a tree?" Normani laughed, as she noted the beads of sweat on Lauren's forehead.
Lauren was just about to say something, but Camila beat her to it, "What can I say Mani, the smell of the trees really turns me on?"