❝ Say something new
I have nothing left
I can't face the dark without you
There's nothing left to lose
The fighting never ends
I can't face the dark without you
Follow me under and pull me apart
I understand there's nothing left
Pain so familiar and close to the heart
No more, no less I won't forget ❞
Without you by Breaking Benjamin
___________________________________
Having to leave that night, Dak went to the place he knew that he was welcomed; Ezekiel Elliot's house where he spent the next couple of nights at feeling nothing but guilt for his fuck ups and how he was going to fix it.
He doesn't expect Carmen to forgive him in a heartbeat, he knows he will have to make it up. And that it would take time. A lot of time. First, he had to give her space. Everything was too much for her right now.
It was rough the first couple of nights, laying on that uncomfortable couch of Elliot's home, not having her next to him. Just knowing that she was there and safe is what got to him. It wasn't because he thought she would have suicidal thoughts, he was worried if she needed something or what if she falls just days after her back surgery?
"Wish me luck." He told Ezek tired as hell. It was about a week or so, and he couldn't take it anymore. He had to go home and at least make sure she was okay.
Patting him on the bad, Ezek wrapped his arm around his girlfriend encouraging "You better not screw this up. Make it work and maybe, JUST maybe we'll see mini Carmen's and you running around. Maybe."
"That'd be so adorable."
With a groan, he wasn't groaning the thought, it was at the fact he was going to have to work hard to win her trust back.
"What the hell?" Was the first thing that came out of his mouth seeing another car in the driveway of his house.
Upon entering the home, he instantly heard a lot of laughing, two male voice, the fuck? Plus a lot of noise from the kitchen. Walking in, Dak Prescott immediately recognized the two males laughing and cracking jokes with his wife.
Rings names; Enzo Amore and Big Cass. Other known as Eric and William.
Eric. The same Eric that Dak thought had something going on with his wife.
"Come on Carm, you never been to New Jersey? Ever?"
Shaking her head, "Actually no."
"Oh sweet baby Jesus; Will, you hear her? She's never been to New Jersey."
Will, the seven foot wrestler shook his head as he leaned against the counter observing what Eric was making. Looked and smelt good. Smelt so good that it had Carmen's stomach growling as her legs dangled off her chair of the kitchen island.
"Next time we in Jersey, you comin' and we'll show you a good time," Not sexually, Dak thought sexually making him flume up. "We gotta get Leah to join us. It'll be like this." He did his little dance, making William roll his eyes and laugh with Carmen. "Ugh, ugh, Cerfield G, yes I am."
Littlest things like this made Carmen's shitty couple of weeks that much better. She smiled exposing those bright perfect teeth of hers. Something that Eric and William had try to accomplish since they arrived at the home last night. Getting Carmen a plate, when Eric turned around, he stopped in his tracks seeing the Dallas Cowboys Quarterback.
"Uh Carm, your boy is glarin' at me." His thick Jersey accent filled the room, turning all the attention to the NFL player. Her eyebrows furrowed together, slowing rotating her chair to follow the men's eyes, her own brown eyes widened seeing Dak was home.
Keeping the straight face, he asked "What's going on here?"
Oh, Eric slow faced William with a 'O' look before Carmen gave him a 'really' look.
"Breakfast. With friends. Would you like to join us?" Smooth Carmen, seriously, really smooth. She didn't want to argue with friends here.
Catching onto the fact she didn't want to fight, he just sighed shaking his head "No, I'm okay. Thank you though. I'm going to shower and watch film for Sunday."
"Okay," Slowly turning her seat around, she began to eat her food slowly as Dak headed down the hallway of their home. "This is really good Eric." Breakfast ended in nothing but jokes and good laughs.
Throwing his duffle bag on their bed, some papers on the nightstand caught his attention making his eyes widen instantly.
Dr. Alicia Meyers.
Psychologist.
Scheduled days: Mondays and Wednesday at 2:00PM, 13467 North Groovers and Hills Dr.
A smile overtook his face as warmth filled his heart seeing that she sucked up her pride and got professional health not only for herself, but for them. It touched his heart making him chill out about Eric and Will being in his at the moment.
~
After Eric and William took off to get ready for their live event that day, Carmen followed the sounds of the running water in the shower. Her fingernails raked softly against the door before giving it three hard knocks.
"Come in." Dak called out applying body soap all over hearing the door open. The former WWE Women's Champion took a seat on top of the toilet seat, leaning her forearms on her walker biting her lower lip on how to start a positive conversation.
Go with what Mrs. Meyers told you, she thought "How are you?"
"Good. Glad to be home." He rinsed off, turning the water off and reached for his towel wrapping it around his waist.
Yeah, she did miss him but she needed to be alone to figure shit out without him. Running a couple of fingers through her hair, she spoke out "I slipped last night in the kitchen, so I called Eric. Didn't want to really be alone so I asked him and William to stay the night." She explained as he slid the shower curtains out of his way.
"I'm not mad they were over, well I was mad but I'm over it now," He helped her on her feet giving her cheek a peck "Where'd you fall on?"
Not your back please, he thought.
"My hip," She pulled down just a bit of her shorts to show him. "I'm okay though."
Slowly walking their way back onto the bedroom, he knew she was. She's tough. "I know, you look exhausted. I can rub your back in film room?"
"Okay," Starting her way, she joked about it "I'll go ahead and slowly make my way there. Maybe I'll beat you."
With a chuckle, he slid on some clothes making his way over to the film room of their home. This was nice, not fighting, she seemed a lot calmer. Actually let him kiss her cheek, and was going go let him rub her back.
"Mhm, feels so good," Carmen laid her head on his lap, under a pillow, on her stomach feeling her tense muscles relax under his fingertips. Her eyes analyzed the film from the Cowboys game against the Minnesota Vikings the week before.
Though the solely purpose of watching film, he studied her seeing her eyes drop from the screen. Here he was, living his dream, rookie. A kid still. A kid strapped down in marriage before he could grow. Could change.
It's a proven fact,that everyone will at least change three times in their life. If that's true, it wasn't right to hold him back anymore.
"You know, we don't have to do this anymore." A shakily sigh left her lips preventing her emotions from taking over.
That statement froze the man in his actions. 'Don't have to do this anymore?' Was she suggesting what he told she was? There was this huge lump in his throat as this undescribable feeling through his body. Feeling a bit of doubt that she knew what he thought, he still asked "Do what?"
"All of this. Being married. We were going and stupid. We still are. If you don't feel the same then let's end it now." Pulling his hand out from the back of her shirt, he ran it down his face not believing this right now.
Divorce? "Why? Do you not want this anymore?" She pushed herself up shrugging, not making eye contact with him "Baby, I know I messed up big time, but I told you, it meant nothing."
"It doesn't mean nothing if you spent time with her; it hurts more knowing you didn't do anything but grown comfortable with her. I don't know know how to explain it. More like a relationship was growing between you. Like you enjoyed her company better than mine. It's worse. It fucking hurts Rayne. Obviously something else was happening.
"You've been bonded to me since 18, before you can have fun and enjoy being a young adult. I get it if you don't feel the same or don't want this anymore. I'll be okay. You've done a lot for me, and I just want you to be happy."
He couldn't believe she was saying this, he had been with Carmen since high school. How could they be together? She was the only one he loved, or was she? Dallas Nicole was something else to him, but Carmen was his love.
"I-I love you though. Still." His hand flew up to her cheek knowing it shouldn't have hesitated like that.
Closing her eyes for a moment with a sad smile, she opened them meeting his confused ones "Make sure, you don't have to figure it out right at this moment. Think about it for a while. Don't do this for me, stay and make this work for ME. You gotta be happy."
Giving him a soft kiss on the lips, the spark was still there, just not as big as it use to be. Maybe she did have a point. Turning her back to him, she grabbed her walker leaving him alone in his thoughts.
Shutting the door behind her, Carmen sat on the edge of the bed, her hands shaking as her breathing was extremely uneven; as if she couldn't breathe, trying to grasp some air into her lungs.
While Rayne was gone, it left Carmen a lot to think about it. Between her sessions with Mrs. Meyers already, and what the problem was, she gave him a choice. Not by yelling at him, or being unreasonable, just letting him know that if he wanted to fight for their marriage, than he can. If not, she would respect and accept his decision. Does she want a divorce? Definitely not. He was her rock and the reason of her very existence, but the truth was, why stay together when the household is negative and unhealthy for both parties? Might as well move on your lives in order to be happy.
She was willing to do that for him. Like she has always thought, she hoped she wasn't a charity case for him. She never had the lady balls to ask, in fear of his answer.
Leaning her elbows on her walker, she had an uneasy feeling in her stomach, nauseous is what she felt, it was so strong. She thought it was just the many emotions she felt, but that was until she felt it come up. Rushing to the bathroom, it all came up. Her breakfast, the coffee, and it even felt like her dinner the night before was all out in the toilet. Her back was highly uncomfortable being curved over the toilet seat.
She propped her elbow up to keep her head lifted, not to fall in the toilet. That's how weak she felt after throwing up her insides. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand flushing the toilet. After brushing her teeth, her hands gripped the sides of the counter looking at her exhausted and sick figure unsure what was wrong with her.
When it was pretty simple of what it was.
❝ I'm not a victim anymore. ❞
BAM! Oh crap! Finally got out of my writers block mode for a while. I hope you guys are enjoyed this chapter. A little sad, but hopefully time will tell?
So, what do you guys think about this? What's wrong with Carmen?
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Love ya 😘