"You realize who you're talking to, right?" Sutton says, a wide smile on her lips. Harry holds back laughter, dimples in full view as he looks back to the road. "I mean come on, your making fun of a book in front of the girl who lives and breaths them. I work in a damn library, get your head straight."
"Come on, it's a bit boring, you have to admit," Harry says, humor still in his eyes.
"No, it's creative if anything," Sutton says, and she rolls her own eyes. "I don't think I could finish a book and think that it wasn't in some way interesting. No book is just boring, maybe a little bland at some points, but life is bland sometimes so I think that just means it's realistic." She get's quiet for a moment, looking down at her boots after realizing she just turned the light conversation a bit too serious.
"Well, I know to never insult any kind of novel in front of you ever again. Especially John Green," Harry says, then pauses. "And, I guess I never really thought about it that way," he says, smirking to himself. Sutton laughs, grateful he makes a joke of their conversation again.
They bicker until Harry pulls his car to the parking garage in which Sutton lives.
"Well, tonight was fun, thank you." Sutton says graciously.
"Anytime. You want me to walk you up?" Harry asks kindly, his hand on the gear ready to put the car in park.
"No, no, I'll be fine," Sutton half laughs, grabbing her bag.
After a moment of looking at each other, Harry slowly leans forward, his jaw extending to meet her lips. Sutton smiles and leans in for the simple yet meaningful peck.
"See you soon?" He asks, and Sutton nods. Harry smiles, and Sutton climbs out of the car, practically stumbling to the main entrance. Harry waits until her key card is swiped through the residence elevator, and she turns and waves as he drives away. Once the elevator hits her floor, Sutton slowly makes her way down the hallway.
The feeling of both surprise and satisfaction flow through her veins, and she has to close her eyes to gather herself together. What was happening? Are they going to start dating? Or are they just friends with kissing benefits? Whatever label they have, Sutton wasn't really sure. She didn't really care, she felt like she was on cloud nine.
At the same time, Harry pulls out of the parking garage and out onto the streets of London, tugging at the roots of his brown curls as he drives onward.
He knows what he just did, and he knows the gut-wrenchingly familiar feeling in his stomach when he did it. He hasn't felt like this in a long time, but he just couldn't really help himself. It all felt so natural and so good. He was slowly but surely on a path which could possibly lead to breaking the promise he made to himself long ago. He cursed himself for getting into this situation.
His mind was clouded with thoughts that left him emotionally drained when he arrived home. He paced, and sat, and stood, he even laid in a sprawled position in his bedroom, for hours. His thoughts were consuming him. And despite the protests his mind put up, Harry couldn't help but text Sutton goodnight as began getting ready for bed. It's like he knows it's a bad idea but he does it anyway. He couldn't seem to control himself around her, it was like his mind and his body wanted two separate things, and his body was winning.
When Sutton received his text, a smile on her face immediately grew. She sent him a short reply, and sighed in content whilst in bed. She fell asleep quickly, which was miraculous for Sutton, with an ever-so-slight smile on her lips.
...
The next morning Sutton had an early shift at the library. She woke up groggily and slowly after a good nights rest, feeling replenished. She quickly got ready, wearing her every day black boots with her every day black jeans, and an oversized band t-shirt (which in all honesty probably belonged to one of the many guys Maddy has had over). Sutton boldly decided to walk to work today, telling herself she could use the exercise, but mostly taking advantage of the semi-nice weather today.
The text she received from Harry while she was walking to the library made the infamous smile grow on her face. She couldn't seem to stop smiling, actually, because Harry's messages made her whole morning a little bit brighter. And to top it off, they had been talking for basically two days straight, and the thought alone made Sutton feel nervous, yet excited at the same time.
After a seemingly short walk to work, Sutton quickly settled into her work space. She shared a desk with James, although in actuality he took up about 75% of it. To the right of their desk are shelves of books that are available to buy, and the rest are only for check out's. After she set down her things, Sutton started working. She roamed to the books that were accessible to purchase, and straightened them up. She put books back in place, she even started sweeping the corners of the large room that never seemed to be touched. She checked her phone time after time, responding to Harry when she received a text from him. After she ran out of things to do, she sat back down at her desk, and started copying the names of over due books into the system. She was half-way through the list when James approached her after shutting the entrance door quietly.
"Hey Sut," he says quietly as he sets his things on his desk.
"Hey! You're a little early," Sutton observed, her eyes going back to the list of names.
"Eh, Ellie had work early this morning and I was bored. Thought I mine as well come," he says with a smile. Sutton smiles and rolls her eyes at her boss.
"So, any leads on those note-passing lovers?" Sutton asks curiously. The letters were all still in place, exactly how she had left them when she checked this morning. Sutton had a feeling they were old and unused as of today, but the idea of them still made her heart flutter.
"Nope, nothing" James says. "I'm not sure we'll ever find who's secretly passing notes to each other unless we see them drop it off in the box."
"Or if we see someone check it!" Sutton says.
"Yes, exactly. I told you, you're the first to know if I see anything." he says.
Sutton's phone goes off, distracting her from James, and she smirks as she reads Harry's cheeky response.
"What are you smiling at?" James asks with a glint of amusement in his eyes, and Sutton visibly blushes, making a weird face as James tilts his head.
She shrugs, and lets a slight laugh slip past her smiling lips as James rolls closer to her and leans forward.
"Sutton..." he says, and she laughs again.
After an argument which seemed to go on longer than necessary, Sutton finally explains the reasoning behind her happy mood. She explains her night with Harry to James, telling him some of the things her and Harry did. Honestly, Sutton didn't really have anyone else to tell, so she was seizing her opportunity while she could.
"I can't believe that!" James said shaking his head. "How fun, two mates getting off." He laughed quietly. "Are you sure we are talking about the same Harry?" He joked, and Sutton rolled her eyes.
Not a while after did Sutton's shift end, and after waving to Mrs. Welscher (a lovely old woman who came to the library almost every day), she began her walk home. And Harry continued to text her. Their conversation seemed to be never ending, every stopping point always leading to something else. And after countless hours of conversation, Sutton found herself getting in the shower. She was going to Harry's to watch movies, or drink wine, or do both. If she was being honest with herself, she was pathetically excited to see him again.
Harry sat on his living room couch, his hands running vigorously through his hair, something he seemed to do routinely when he was stressed. His thoughts were jumbled, and he decided he needed to hear an outside voice. He was tired of being unsure, so, with hesitation he dialed James' number.
"Ello?" He heard James say on the other line.
"Mate," Harry breathed. "Are you busy?" He asks, silently praying he wasn't.
"No, I'm at the flat with El. Why?" He asks, a hint of concern laced in his voice. Harry can't tell if he appreciates it, or if he's annoyed by it.
"Well... Look I just need advice. Like, real advice that will actually help me, not the advice that I don't want to hear," Harry says, not completely making sense with hands still in his hair.
"Of course mate, what's going on?" James asks despite his confusing friend.
"I kissed Sutton," he says flatly.
"I know," James says. Harry can practically see the smirk on his face.
"You know?" He asks in confusion.
"Yeah, I saw her today at work. She told me about your date, or whatever that was," he says, and Harry's palms began to sweat.
"What did she say?" He found himself asking quietly.
"She just told me what you did all night, nothing too much. Never really pictured you as a romantic, Styles," James taunts, and Harry groans. After a short silence, James speaks up. "So how did all this happen?" He asks.
"I saw her at the library two nights ago, and.. well we were talking for a long time, and I told her about everything that happened with the band, I don't fucking know James we were just talking about things that I usually don't talk about with people. And at the coffee shop, I just wanted to kiss her... And-" Harry pauses, not sure how to talk about his emotions.
"And?" James asks.
"And- and it's not good. I like her and I want to keep hanging, but it just feels different. Like more serious or something. She - she's coming right now, she'll be here in ten minutes." Harry's voice was strained.
"What? Really? " James asks in surprise.
"Yeah, we- we've been talking all day and neither of us had plans so I told her to come. We're gunna watch a film, I think." Harry mumbled. "I don't even know how this happened, mate. You know how I feel about this kind of stuff and I can completely see myself getting stuck in a bad situation with her." Harry says, rubbing his temples.
"What's so wrong with it Harry? This could be really good for you, seriously," James tries, knowing that his answer isn't what Harry called for.
"That's not the advice I need right now," Harry growls, sighing in frustration.
"You could just see where it goes? " James suggests again.
"You know I don't believe in that shit anymore, and I'm not ready to be in a relationship. I never will. Please, I just need help. What am I supposed to tell her? You think she won't want to keep hanging if it's just casual?" Harry asks, feeling ridiculous saying his thoughts out loud.
"I don't understand how one just 'doesn't believe in relationships'." James remarks.
"James," Harry taunts, his patience already wearing down.
"Well, I mean what do you want me to tell you?" James scoffs. "Y'know, she is one of my good friends now too, and hearing this from you is kind of hard. You didn't see the way her face lit up when you kept texting her all day. I don't know if she would want to keep hanging out, I don't know. I guess if you feel like this then don't get her hopes up. Be honest" James says honestly, trying desperately to knock some sense into his best friend.
Harry doesn't know what to say, he doesn't even know what to think.
"All I can really say is end it now before you dig yourself to deep. Tell her the complete truth and just don't mess with her anymore, she's too nice and will probably put up with too much of your shit." James says, and almost disappointingly. Harry slowly spins the ring on his middle finger. "But I think you should give it a go, see what happens," he adds.
"It could never work," Harry reassures himself more than James. "I can't. I don't want to- I don't want her to get more attached and then just-" he takes a breath. "I don't know," Harry sighs.
"Look, I don't know what to tell you," James says. "I can't tell you want you want to hear, mate. I'm sorry." He says.
"It's 'right. Sorry I even called, I'll talk to you later." Harry says solemnly, and as James begins to protest Harry hangs up.
Harry throws his head back onto his unnecessarily large couch, and closes his eyes in search for comfort. His feelings are so disoriented, it is physically making him dizzy. His mind says no, absolutely not, as if even seeing her again was the dumbest idea in the world. But his body is telling him to ask her if she is on her way, his heart says to text her and ask what movie she wants to watch.
Before he can tame his thoughts, a light knock on the door echos through the house. Although she is the complete source of all Harry's stress, he feels slightly relieved that she's here. And he hates that he feels that way.
A/N:
I'm so so so SO sorry for not updating in forever. I have had a lot going on, and I was just on srping break, so I haven't really had time to write. (I also had a pretty severe case of writers block so, yeah there's that).
I'm honestly not very happy about this chapter, it's short and there might be mistakes but I just wanted to get something up for you guys. I just wrote this and I am exhausted so hopefully it's not too bad. I will try and update again sooner than later.
On a brighter note, thank you for making my story jump like 200 veiws! I know that's not very much in comparison to other writers, but that's really cool for me so thank you thank you thank you.
Thanks so much for reading & sticking with me,I hope you enjoy! xxx