A/N
I have a feeling some of you still aren't understanding this whole date thing. Which is okay, but if you don't then comment here and I will make an update on here explaining it in depth.
But just to help, I'm going to change every AUGUST 30 chapter into italics so you can sort of tell the difference without having to pre the dates.
Have a nice day :)
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AUGUST 30
ONE YEAR
"Sweetheart? Can you even hear me?"
Yes, I can hear him. He is all I can hear. His voice is raspy, desperate, begging. I want to block it out but even if I had earplugs or headphones, I'd still hear it.
"I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry."
I don't want him to be sorry. I'm sick of sorrys.
I wanted to be his life preserver, the thing that would keep him afloat. Instead, he became my anchor. And I'm tired of drowning.
How could I not see that it would never change? That it would always be this?
"I'm going to leave for a little bit, okay?"
I lift my head up and look at the door, then at the window. The storm is still raging on, both outside and inside.
"I'll just go dry off somewhere and let things cool down, okay?"
He keeps saying okay, over and over, as if he can say it enough and make it true.
It will never be true. Things have never been okay with us. Maybe if I'd paid attention, I would have seen that on our first few dates.
Maybe I would have noticed his possessiveness; maybe I would have seen the way he wrapped around me, made me his entire world, his obsession.
Maybe I would have felt the weight he placed on my shoulders, one tiny stone at a time.
I listen as his heavy footfalls leave me. The broken exhaust in his truck backfires as he starts it up, and then the rumble slowly disappears.
I lie back again and stare up at the ceiling. I close my eyes and will the sleep to come. Sleep is the only time when I feel at peace.
But when I sleep, I dream.