My body flinched momentarily from the cold water making contact with my face. Blinking my eyes open, I patted my cheeks lightly and stared at my reflection in the mirror. Strands of hair stuck out messily and my eyes were puffy, exhaustion evident on them.
I immediately went out of the bathroom after concluding that I looked the most presentable I could be with my current state. As I held on the doorknob, I heard Taehyung's muffled voice, and I assumed by the liveliness of it, he was talking to Aeri.
Feeling a block of weight leaving my chest, a grin slowly formed on my lips. At least I had been assured that Aeri was having a chirpy morning today.
I quickly glanced up at the wall clock as I turned the knob. Taehyung should be on his way now if he didn't want to be late. Could he be waiting for me? I hope not.
When the door flew open, I expected to see Taehyung in his work clothes, ready to take his leave. Instead, he was wearing casual clothes whilst leaning on Aeri's crib as he interacted with her.
My eyes met with Aeri's and I curled my lips upwards. When she let out a gummy smile, giving me her full attention, Taehyung whirled around to face me.
It still felt awkward. I wasn't sure how I should face him. Should I act like nothing had happened and things were as per norm?
"Aren't you running late?" Instead of greeting him a good morning, those words somehow slipped out absentmindedly. I mentally frowned, scratching the side of my cheek and took steps closer to the two.
Taehyung flashed a toothy smile and combed my hair with his fingers, pushing them flat on either sides. I was not sure if I should find it weird or just be thankful that he was being his usual perky self.
"You're skipping work, and I'm staying with you and Aeri today," said Taehyung. "I also told Somi she could take a day off."
I simply nodded my head whilst his hands still on top. They landed on my shoulders shortly, and Taehyung spun me around—an action he'd grew fond of lately as I'd noticed. He led me to the kitchen and sat me down. In front of me laid half burnt pancakes, uneven sunny side eggs (also overcooked on the sides) and a safe looking sandwich.
A snort escaped without permission as I shook my head, and I glanced up at Taehyung, who only kept his radiant smile on. He knew he had done well. Minus the cooking part, perhaps.
Nevertheless, we dug in and despite having no conversation, the atmosphere was light, a tranquil mood enveloping us.
Although that was a bit short lived due to the fact that Aeri's wail began piercing through the walls.
Alarmed, I glanced over my shoulders, about to stand up until Taehyung interrupted me and left me in the kitchen. He came back seconds after with Aeri, swaying her as she cried.
I hate to admit it but I grew fond of seeing them together like this. Well... not that I wanted Aeri to cry all the time.
"Can I hold her?" I asked with a small smile, and Taehyung's brows shot up momentarily—As if he didn't get it why I had to ask when the answer was pretty obvious.
"Sure."
I slumped Aeri on my shoulder, patting her back to quiet her down as Taehyung returned to his seat across me.
"It's okay, mommy's here," I whispered to her ears. "Mommy loves little Aeri," I sang.
A few seconds later, Aeri calmed down, thankfully. She threw her head back and pushed herself apart with her arms as she made eye contact with me. Her gaze wandered to every part of my face as if she were studying me, trying to find out what was wrong. Did she perhaps feel it?
"Did mommy worry you? Mommy's okay now." She made bubbles with her saliva. "Did daddy take care of you?"
Aeri produced 'da da' sounds and I saw Taehyung smile to himself. I let Aeri sit on my lap, facing forward.
Breakfast went on like that with a couple of side comments about Taehyung's cooking. At least at some point, I had managed to let him know that I was genuinely thankful with his efforts.
When we finished breakfast, I volunteered to wash the dishes. Taehyung and Aeri returned to the living room, and the sound coming from the television hinted that it was on a baby channel.
But it wasn't the lady talking on TV that caused the beam on my profile. It was because of Aeri and Taehyung's voices—though quite muffled due to the distance—sounding like sweet, melodic music.
I joined them later on, letting myself sink on the couch without care. Taehyung was busy on his phone, his nose crinkled before he tossed the device to the side.
"Are you sure you don't need to be at work?" I queried. "If you're worried, I assure you, I'm fine now." I blinked sideways at what I had just said.
Okay... maybe that sounded quite assuming.
"It's okay. Work can wait," responded Taehyung, adjusting himself on the couch.
The two of us remained silent for a while, watching the TV still on the baby channel. Though as I did, my mind drifted away. I guess the same went with Taehyung. I mean, not even Aeri was watching. The sound coming from the TV only prevented silence from wrapping us. But it wasn't enough to block out my thoughts.
I suddenly wanted to speak up, tell Taehyung what had happened while he was gone. For a while, I hesitated. But the vocal side of me prevailed the inner battle.
"A car crash took my parents' life," I began out of nowhere, closing my eyes as I laid my head on the backrest. It had been years, but the memory was somewhat still vivid. "I found out while I was in class. I had to be excused, and on the way to the hospital, I had no clue what was happening. No one told me a thing until we actually arrived at the place."
My hand balled into a fist, a single tear threatening to escape.
"I didn't even get to say good bye to them," I breathed; A bitter sensation filled up my mouth as I pressed my lips into a thin line.
"People probably assumed I was a mental case due to my reaction when I found out. I was so reluctant to leave the hospital that they even tried to inject me with thiopental." I chuckled at the memory although at that time, it irked me so much.
"Well, thanks to that I met Mina-unnie. She asked them not to, and instead, told them she'll take care of me at the moment. I wasn't really sure how she managed to calm me down, though. It was probably painstaking on her part."
My eyes flew open, a chandelier greeting my vision. I laid my head sideways, glancing at Taehyung. He was leaning his head on his palm, facing my direction, waiting for me to continue.
"At first, I thought it was going to be fine; that I'd get through it. But after the ceremony..." A sharp sensation poked on my chest and I inhaled deeply. "I got nightmares night after night. Suddenly, I found myself slipping away as if there's no more meaning to my life."
"I was of legal age by then so I lived alone. Halmeoni lived far from the city and I had to continue my studies here. I basically had no one if it weren't for Mina-unnie being there. She became my support aside from some people trying to reach out."
I cupped my elbows, hugging myself tighter.
"But one day, she also left." I exhaled sharply. "At first, I felt pity towards Aeri as if we shared a bond of both losing our parents," I admitted. "And it's not like I felt obligated, I just wanted to do it for Mina-unnie that time."
"It was when I started to be with Aeri, that I felt that I always have to be with her. Aeri became my strength and helped me cope up. You could put it that way."
I sat up straight, giving Taehyung a sideways glance. He pursed his lips, plastering an assuring look to tell me he was still with me.
"I know it's not good that I'm using Aeri to be okay, and I know that soon, I have to be fine, on my own, even without Aeri," I explained, accepting the truth at the same time. "But I'm not saying that I'm not going to be with her when I get okay. I mean, I just know that I have to get to a point when I'm really, really okay."
Perhaps I was too stubborn myself to admit it before. But sharing it to someone else other than Dr. Hijung made it more clear to me.
"Also, I thought I should let you know..." I began. "The other day when I met Jimin, I visited the hospital that day to visit my psychiatrist. Though it's nothing grave. He assured that I'm better now. Just a few relapse here and there when everything's just too overwhelming to handle again. But he also said that it's not so bad to have those once in a while since it would lead to a positive recovery."
"Your psychiatrist is a male?"
My forehead slowly wrinkled as a perplexed expression covered my face. All the while, Taehyung had kept his silence, and yet here came his first response. But this was a familiar question coming from him.
"What's with you and male doctors?"
Taehyung opened his mouth to say something, but abruptly closed it again and turned away as he mumbled, "Nothing."
I narrowed my eyes at Taehyung and twitched my lips upwards.
He looks like an overprotective boyfriend, getting upset. It's so cute.
Wait...what?
Ugh. Erase. Erase. Erase. Now is not the time to think about things like that.
"I wish you've been there the whole time," I confessed. "I missed you so much, you can't even imagine— well, part of me still hates you though." I shrugged as I sent a small regretful smile to Taehyung, and turned my attention back to the television.
Taehyung scooted closer and snaked his arms to my waist, pulling me into a side hug. Feeling startled, I instinctively lifted a brow at him—my pretense of trying to ease the way my body tensed. This was not the first time, but still...
He buried his face on the crook of my neck and I could feel his breath striking my skin, bringing shivers to my spine. Astounded would be an understatement. I swear I had to channel my soundness and hurl up my sanity just not to push him away.
"I'm here now, and I'll never leave again."
Despite my uneven breathing and scattered thoughts, my silly head managed to come up with the brilliant idea to lean my head on top of his. Taehyung's strong scent of strawberry mint attacked my nostrils without warning. And that only made me feel like a teenager wanting to squeal because of her crush, but could only smile to bite it back.
You're not a teenager, you both are adults now, Kyungmin. Get a grip!
In the end, I could only respond to him with a single line.
"You better not, Kim Taehyung."
And if my grin couldn't get any wider, I saw Aeri smiling at us and joining her hand together innocently as if she understood what was happening.
— ✿ —
❝hi! this is not the end yet, and there are more chapters coming.
that aside, downpour got ranked at #921 in fanfiction, and that really means a lot lot lot to me! thank you so much ♡❞