Sivabala Yogi & Back to Parthi
October 1985
Prasanthi Nilayam
Dear Ones,
Jai Sai Ram! Everything’s fine. Hope all of you there are keeping well.
I’ve had an interesting experience. Next-door neighbor Madhuri visits this yogi named Shivabala Yogi Maharaj. He had a vision of a lingam at age 14, then Siva appeared before him and instructed him to meditate. From then on (1949), he entered into deep austerities, meditating most of the day, taking only milk and sometimes fruit to eat. Siva gave him many visions during this time. At the end of 12 years of austerities (in 1961), Siva instructed him to start a small ashram, and instruct people in the path of meditation. Now he has ashrams in several places, including Anantapur, Deha Dun (near Rishikesh) and Sri Lanka.
Soo, me being open of course to Darshan of any exalted being, I eagerly accepted Madhuri’s invitation to come with her. Sivabala Yogi had been gone a month - the day we went to see him was the day he returned to his Bangalore (main) ashram. We just got into the compound at 4:30 PM (we left Whitefield to Bangalore at 2:30 PM, then a bus to his ashram) when he drove up in a big light green car, fresh from the airport! He’s short and chubby like a teddy bear, bright and smiling face. Spiritual vibrations. He went straight into the Mandir (a huge hall with shed roof, the main alter being a large canopy bed that he sits on for bhajans), and then he went into his room, though an attached doorway from the Mandir hall.
Bhajans went 6-8 PM and were nice, but rather amateur. He came in at 7 PM and hopped onto the bed and sat. When he comes, all gather around and bow to him (much like the Mataji bed Darshan in Anandashram), sometimes touching his knee or robe.
He kept his eyes open, staring straight ahead, unconcerned. The plight of all devotees in the world – an unattached God! As we pine for some attention. Churning I guess. :-)
Anyone who has a question may come up to the right side of the bed and ask him, only you need a translator for English because he speaks only Telugu (he’s from Sai’s state) and Hindi. He answers then gives vibhuti (white, in small blocks), telling to put on forehead.
I made several visits with Madhuri – almost every night up to the time I left (on October 1st). Whereas Sai is God and I thought of Mataji Krishnabai as God also, Shivabala Yogi seemed like a friend only. Well Sai says, “Yogis are your friends”! :-) Ram Sarat Kumar (from Tiruvannamalai) I thought of as a highly advanced being. My number of saints the Lord has let me visit in India has now risen to three - Mataji in Anandashram, Ram Sarat Kumar and now Shivabala Yogi.
Anyway, he stays an hour to 90 minutes, then arathi (bhajan only stop when he gives the signal), and after padnamaskar again, he goes in and all leave (we receive a sweet as prasad on the way out – the night he arrived, he served everyone dinner!). One good thing about Shivabala is he wears a different color robes all the time - I saw him in white cotton, and colors in silk: dark blue with designs, golden, cream, and dark Swami orange. Anyway, it was a nice experience to have Darshan, to see a saint. And one who practiced bonafide austerities in this Kali Yuga!
The last night (30 Sept) I said I was going to Puttaparthi to stay. He bobbed his head in the Indian “Yes, yes” style. Madhuri was my translator and said, “But there are troubles there (meaning my Public Relations saga of ‘don’t come till late Oct’), he nodded again & again and said, “Teek hai” (“It’s OK, it’ll be alright.”) I was very happy to get this answer! I had been feeling strongly, intuitively that I should say I was going to Parthi, not to ask for blessings or anything, just to say I'm going. Very nice that my “friend” approved!
Well then, I was going to spend the 30th in Whitefield then leave for Parthi on 1st morning, but Madhuri suggested I see Shivabala on 30th night, spend the night in the city (with Madhuri) then go to Parthi as planned. It seemed like a better plan cuz I wouldn’t have the hassle of taking an early Whitefield to Bangalore bus, plus I’d get Darshan again of Shivabala. Soo, did that.
Joyously caught 10 AM Puttaparthi bus - the famous ride once again! And arrived at about 3 PM on 1st October, Tuesday. Felt like I was home again, veeeery happy!! I felt fresh and new, back to the shed! Boo – full. Got small space in center of room.
Diane had been kicked out of her room and now was in the shed too. Several people who I remember from November-December had returned; also some from January to May, including some who went back at the ‘foreigner throw-out’ time. Everyone’s coming for Birthday!
Next day, I got a place in the shed along the wall, cuz someone left. Mosquito net already up! Swami’s so kind! Set up my alter and hoped I would stay on the spot awhile - less moving! Until November 1st or so, when this shed (19) will be used for Delegates from the state of Karnataka.
Sai’s been giving nice, long Darshans on the verandah, before bhajans and during the day. Sai continues His ‘normal’ Darshan activities of signing child’s slates, taking letters, making short comments and jokes, cutting a child’s first hair, giving a baby its first solid food and naming it (this is all in Darshan lines!), granting interviews, granting Grace and totally ignoring pitiful “Swami!’ cries.
Rohani from Malaysia arrived the day after me! She had arrived 14 November 1984 and had stayed for 6 months. I really got to know her well in Kodai, where she also was a ‘come for every Darshan super-early’ person. She left in May and has now returned again! I'm waiting for Barbara and other Prasanthi crazies! And here I stayed on in India!!
Construction is still going on full force here. Two Round Houses painted, third one just started to be painted. Expansion of first five sheds complete or almost compete. Finishing touches on many sheds going on all day and all night – hammers pound-pounding etc., etc. Slow progress on foreigner’s canteen, think they’re finally completing the top half though.
They’ve just started paving all the dirt roads inside the ashram! Poornachandra being expanded on both sides. How will they finish by B-day, I wonder!? Walls started, about 2 feet high now, Darshan line-up in different place cuz of it. Mandir painting, in & out, completed. Looks wonderful. New construction projects Sai’s starting every day!!
In Sai’s daily car ride, He checks out the construction by the schools (Hill View Stadium etc.) then inside the ashram. He goes to the sheds/Round Houses area, then drives into the Poornachandra, then walks out the other end (Mandir side) to check and advise in the construction. His out-in-car time has increased 30-40 minutes from before. Ah well, more meditation time for me behind the walls! Loud around that area now though! Pound, pound, crash, scream, yell....
Now Sai is having me feel I should do a lot of meditation, a lot of mantra too. I’ve been getting up to go to the Mandir for Omkar, then back and do some meditation. Then some stretching & yoga. Then cleaning my place, washing clothes, and fixing my own breakfast (or to Canteen). Darshan, bhajan, with meditation after bhajan, until when Swami comes back from His car ride (a 2-hour meditation, plus ½ hour or 1 hour in-between Darshan and bhajan). Then clothes washing and bhajan class (or writing/picture arranging/cleaning) until night Darshan lineup at 4 PM. Darshan, bhajan; then dinner or back to room. Try to do meditation before bed too. Very disciplined life, with every minute used to find God, or to occupy the mind in the right way.
Been going the way of other foreigners, sometimes making my own meals. Buy whole wheat bread, cheese, tomatoes – have a sandwich, plus grapes, guavas and bananas. Get apple juice concentrate so don’t forget to drink enough water (get dehydrated very easily, having only one cup of water only every 1½ day sometimes).
Since I can't afford to buy any more pictures, Sai is going me more for free! Rohani took like 13 rolls of film in Kodai, and has gifted me with 11 pictures I'm in. Pictures coming in from other places too, like SH. I recently got 13 more when I already have over 100, and when I can't afford any more! How’s that for picture-mad! It’s almost as if He wants us to love pictures and worship him through them, God wanting attention gain! Sweet huh.
My foot: no pain at all. A little dark coloring still there. People, and even at least one doctor I saw, say it’s “bad blood” and will take some time to go out. Well, Rohani, Anna, SH and I just had a Kodai Kanal 6th-month reunion party – which means this foot injury is 6 months old! I thought blood was replaced ever day or so.
Today I sat in first row by Ganesha (separating men and women). SAI came, beautiful as usual :-) When He came to me, He gave a long, loving, approving look – the first look I’ve gotten in a loooong time! (I’ve been totally ignored since arriving.) It was Wonderful! :-) Then after the men’s side, He turned around and came back! Sloooowly He made His way to me, looking straight ahead. I began to get afraid! Don’t know why. Then He called my good friend Chiranjivi Rao over to Him and said something. I was so obvious, sitting right there under their noses. Wonder what was said? Wonder if it was good, wonder if Chiranjivi Rao happened to take it as a sign that he shouldn’t bother me, cuz Sai had put me in a good spot and was nice to me, right in front of him! Then Sai continued on.
Someone waaay behind me was moaning pitifully in a small voice, “Baba, Baaabaa!” He said, “Shhhhh!” then said, “Mental hospital!” walking past me, then suddenly turned with a beautiful, sweet, baby-Krishna smile, like pleased with His own comment! Then He walked straight to the verandah and inside, not completing the lady’s side. Jai Sai Ram!
Been raining a lot. The last few nights we’ve been having storms, heavy downpours. Accompanied by loss of electricity sometimes, of course - and the discovery of leaks in the shed. :-)
New people arriving every day, new foreigners. Most say they’re staying for Birthday or even Christmas. Many new faces.
Back to your letter, here’s my answer to your “spreading Baba’s message’ question: I haven’t even considered that as seva lately. I'm heading for moksha, why waste my time and mind in restlessness? No more to say needed.
(12 Oct) IT’S HAPPENING!! Recent news – the whole line of arches on the Poornachandra side are ALL being walled in. NO MORE ARCH DARSHAN! Some say He’s walling in the whole Mandir. There was a storage shed by the stores – Sai had it redone into an “Ice-cream factory - ! He gives us ice cream instead of Darshan!
Fears and frustrations are flying. We can only wait and see. Slowly we see “THE WALL” go up. This wall means no more waiting for extra daytime Darshans. LESS ASSESSABLE. It happened soo fast! Went back at lunch, came at 3:30 PM for night Darshan and brick walls were already raised, closing off the arches (just made a year ago - !) 6 feet high, and growing still as I write this. So many ladies loved that Darshan spot! Overflows of crowds during festivals would flock behind the arches for Darshan. NO MORE. The saaad truth.
Love,
Sai Ram,
Eileen
“Indian Child” :-)
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Pre-Birthday news October 23, 1985 Prasanthi Nilayam
Dear Peoples,
Jai Sai Ram! I'm almost afraid to write cuz everything will be outdated so soon! Things are going soo fast around here. Poornachandra expansion changes by the hour. Swami checks the Poornachandra, going to the site, walking around and inside the Poornachandra, at least twice (and up to five) times daily usually right before or during bhajan (& sometimes Darshan), and when coming back from daily car ride.
Sai is… well, what can I say, He’s always the same: unpredictable, always different! Comes in for bhajan sometimes early, sometimes right before it ends. Last few days He’s been looking pleased (probably happy with the Poornachandra work – ha, ha), giving sweet smiles and very friendly. He’s been putting me in back rows but I don’t mind. I think it’s because either front or back, same feelings. But now SH has lent me a pair of binoculars for B-day, so I like to be in the back – closer Darshan! But I'm still not used to using them – I can't help laughing: here’s the jiva-part of Sai looking through two windows to see a magnified version of the physical form of the Avatar – standing just feet away anyway! Very funny! :-)
Swami looks so young and beautiful. He’s giving, giving, giving. He talks in Darshan lines, smiles sweetly, makes us One with Him in heart and soul. The Play!
When I read how Bayer had refused my delegation I wasn’t disappointed. I had asked to be a delegate half-heartedly, cuz I was a delegate last year and this year I would just be happy to be an average devotee. Also, as I told others, I did not know if it would be auspicious to participate because it might mean a future in “spreading the word”, yuk. So I was happy. Then I got your “Goldstein said yes” letter, and a cold chill of fear passed through me! However, I convinced myself it didn’t absolutely mean a “mission” in the Sai organization (nothing’s sure with Sai!). So that very afternoon, I went to Hislop, explaining the situation. He wrote a letter ordering me to be registered as a delegate (“tentative”) until Goldstein arrives 8 November to confirm it, just in case delegates are moved to a special place before Goldstein arrives. So, I took the letter to the World Council office in Prasanthi Nilayam, and they said, “Hislop wrote it, we’ll register you,” so delegate in the 4th World Conference in Prasanthi Nilayam on the occasion of Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba’s 60th Birthday in November 1985, it is! Everything happens by Sai’s Will I guess.
Dasara is on! The 10-day worship of the Mother. Everything goes on as usual in the ashram, with no special anything.
My 3 AM to 10 PM day with no nap is finally wearing thin on me. Already a couple of mornings I’ve slept in till 4:30 AM, and have started 1-hour afternoon naps. Can't tell you the bliss of seeing the Avatar all day long! Love!
Love on earth!
Om Sai Ram!
Love,
Eileen